4 guys up the Faraway Tree

If you haven't read the Faraway Tree books then, a). You have had a deprived childhood and, b). You might not get this story, but please r'n'r and this hasn't happened; I don't own the faraway tree. Most of this story belongs to Enid Blyton, I'm just reacting it in your heads. But I do own my 4 guys.

This is about 4 guys who are completely made up. They are Daniel, Tadd, Lee and Jono.

Daniel is Swedish but moved to the UK at 18. He is just under average height and has naturally blonde hair. He's not the most gorgeous guy in the world but he defiantly could get the girl if he tried, especially with his lovely blue eyes.

Tadd is the joker of the pack. He is half Italian and very handsome, but he is also short. About 5' 4. His dark hair is constantly changing styles, but right now it's longish and styled. He also has designer stubble and green eyes.

Lee is tall, 6' 1, and the kind of guy your parents would want you to bring home (if you're female of course). He goes to the gym regularly and has well built abs. He has blue eyes and light brown short hair and is young at heart. His only down fall is a love for cherries.

This finally brings us to Jono. Jono is very vain and stubborn. He always has the latest fashions, he would never dream of wearing anything out of season. He spends hours on his dark brown hair and woos girls in an instant with his boyish good looks and dark brown eyes. He is about 5'9.

All of them are 23 and best friends, even though they completely clash personality wise.

This is the story of a trip into the woods one-day, near Tadd's new house.

"I've never seen trees like that before" Daniel said pointing up,

"Yeah, they're really weird, It's like they're whispering or something" Tadd said looking around.

"They're darker than any other trees I've seen. So anyway, Tadd, where's this amazing tree with no top? And where's Jono?" said Lee, concerned.

"HEY GUYS!!!!!!!!" they all spun round only to realise they had left Jono at the ditch they had to jump over to enter the wood.

They ran back to the ditch and found Jono covered in mud.

"What have you been up to?" Tadd said trying not to collapse in laughter, Daniel and Lee all ready had.

"Well I tried to jump over the ditch but I slipped in and you didn't notice, now help me out" Jono was angry, he hadn't wanted to come here anyway and now he was covered in mud, his hair would be completely mucked up.

"Ok, Ok I'll help you out, grab my hand" Tadd said helping Jono up while Daniel and Lee were still laughing.

"Can we just go and prove Tadd wrong about this tree and get out of here, this place gives me the willies." Jono said trying to see if his hair was all right, but failed without a mirror.

"Your hairs fine Jono, and the tree really doesn't have a top. You've just got to help me up to the first branch and then you can go" Tadd said staring at Jono

"FINE!!!" Jono stormed off in to the wood.

After walking for about 10 minutes Tadd started getting excited and ran off,

"HERE IT IS!" Tadd shouted jumping and pointing up the tree, "It has no top, lookie lookie, no top, just clouds" He ran up to Jono, "Ha I was right again, it has no top, no drunken fantasies, it really has no top HA!"

"I don't believe you, I think there's a top."

"Can you see a top, um, let me check, er, NO there's no top, look, no top" Tadd said getting angry that Jono wouldn't believe what was right in front of him,

"Well I'm going to climb it and prove you wrong, see you at the top" Jono started to climb the tree.

Daniel and Lee stood dumbstruck for a moment, wondering how Tadd and Jono could get so worked up over a tree, then they followed Jono.

"HEY, SMALL GUY HERE CAN'T REACH FIRST BRANCH!!!" Tadd shouted trying to jump up the tree.

[[[[---{---{---(@) *~*~* (@)---}---}---]]]]

After Lee helped Tadd up, they started climbing.

"Hey have you guys tried these apples, there really juicy" Tadd shouted with a mouth full of apple,

"What are you talking about Tadd? There are acorns on this tree, your delusional" Jono shouted back down.

They both started having an argument about what was on the tree until Daniel broke it up,

"There are apples and acorns on this tree guys!?" He was in the middle and had both acorns and apples around him, even though it freaked him out he tried to act like it was normal to shut Jono and Tadd up.

"Hey, there's a window here" Jono shouted down

"Now who's delusional, Jono it's a tree, there can't be a window in it" Tadd tried to see what Jono was talking about, but short people can only lean so far off a tree before they fall, so he just decided Jono was going mad.

"No there is, I'm going to have a look inside"

Just before Tadd could think of something else to say, him, Lee and Daniel heard a new voice form where Jono was,

"Why are there always people peeping in my window, you know what I'm sick of it, eat my ink!!!" They heard Jono scream and they quickly jumped up the tree to see what was going on, apart from Tadd, he was struggling to reach all the branches.

"Jono what happened?" Lee asked, again cracking up in a fit of laughter,

"A angry pixie chucked ink over me, do you know how long it takes to wash ink out of hair!!!" Jono screamed,

"Jono, calm down, you have almost every hair care product ever, it shouldn't take you that long!"  Daniel said trying to stop Jono from jumping out of the tree. Tadd finally got there and almost fell back down laughing at Jono, but luckily Lee grabbed him before he fell.

"Come on Jono lets go back and you can get washed" Daniel said pointing down the tree,

"No, I'm going to prove Tadd wrong, if it's the last thing my hair does!" Jono said it in such a way that you could almost see the flag and fireworks behind him. Lee and Daniel stood dumbstruck again while Tadd ruined it with "I'm hungry!!!"

"Tadd!!! That was my dramatic moment!!!" Jono sulked,

"You're talking about your hair, and besides your never going to prove me wrong." They started another argument.

"SHUT UP!!!" Lee and Daniel shouted, "If you two don't stop arguing we'll have to gag you!" Daniel shouted, "Now hug and make up," Lee said. They hugged and made up, then carried on climbing.

[[[[---{---{---(@) *~*~* (@)---}---}---]]]]

"WOW, look at that!" Lee said, "you only see that in Disney movies and Enid Blyton books."

"What?" they all said,

"That owl is sleeping in a bed, it even has pyjamas on!" The others pushed Lee out the way and stared at the owl.

"Cool, we've found a tree to another world" Tadd said quietly so not to wake the owl as it looked very fierce.

"Hey look a door," Jono said pointing at a small yellow door,

"Go on Jono, cherry knock" Tadd said hopping to see Jono have something else chucked on him,

"I could literally, there are cherries growing here"

"Wow, I love cherries" Lee said trying to find a branch to get him up to where Jono was. 

When he got there he grabbed a hand full of cherries, sat down and started eating them.

"Ok, guys I want to see who's in there so I'll ring that cute little bell and we all hide behind the braches ok? Lee are you listening!" Said Jono hoping not to get coated in anything this time.

"Uh hu" Lee said not really paying attention, he was to busy enjoying the best cherries he had ever tasted. So Jono rung the bell and they all ran behind a branch, apart from Lee, he was just sitting there, eating.

"PSST, LEE GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!!" Daniel tried to get his attention, but it didn't work and the door flew open.

"Hello, excuse me, did you just ring my door bell?" a little elf with golden hair said as she stepped out,

"Huh, no it was Jono, he didn't want to get anything else chucked at him, he's behind that branch" Lee said swallowing the cherries and pointing at a branch. They all stepped out from behind the branches.

"Hello, are you Jono?" She said walking over to him,

"Yes, I'm Jono, this is Daniel and Tadd" He said looking out for any jugs or anything that contained throw able liquid.

"I'm Silky. You poor thing, you're covered in mud, what happened?" They could instantly tell that she was a very caring elf.

"Oh, I feel in the ditch at the front of the wood and then a pixie chucked ink all over me"

"You'll have to forgive the angry pixie, he doesn't like people looking in his window"

"I found that out the hard way" Jono said

"So is that his real name?" Daniel said,

"Yes, well that's what we call him, then there's Owl below me and Moon-face at the top oh and watch out for Dame Washalot, she's always doing the washing and chucks her dirty water down the tree."

"Ok, so there's Angry Pixie, Owl, Silky, Moon-face and Dame Washalot, so what's his name?" Lee said finally giving up on the cherries and pointing up at a chubby man snoring in a rocking chair,

"How'd you know?" Silky replied,

"What?"

"Watzisname" She said pointing a the man,

"No I'm asking you what's his name?"

"Yes Watzisname"

"No, what's his name?"

"Watzisname"

"WHAT'S HIS NAME?"

"Watzisname"

"NO NO, I'M ASKING YOU WHAT'S HIS NAME?!" Lee started getting frustrated,

"I'll sort this out" Tadd came to the rescue, "Silky, what's his name?" Tadd pointed up,

"Watzisname"

"AAAHHHH, I'm lost, this is to much for my head to take" Tadd said backing up,

"OK, Silky, that mans name is…" Daniel said trying to be peacemaker,

"His name is Watzisname"

"OK, why?"

"Because no-one can remember his real name so we call him Watzisname" Silky said in the same gentle tone she started with.

"Ok, so that cleared that up" Lee said before grabbing more cherries.

"If you'll excuse me I have to cook some Pop Biscuits and Toffee Shocks. I'll see you some other time, bye" Silky said as she closed the little yellow door.

"What are pop biscuits and toffee shocks?" Jono said looking at Daniel,

"What, I don't know, Sweden doesn't have every weird un-heard of food." He said staring back.

"Ok, lets carry on up and find the top" Jono said mock smiling at Tadd.

Tadd mock smiled back and grabbed Lee.

[[[[---{---{---(@) *~*~* (@)---}---}---]]]]

"Hey, wouldn't it be great to put something in his mouth?" Daniel said pointing at Watzisname, who was snoring loudly with his mouth open,

"Yeah, lets put a cherry in there," Tadd looked around for a cherry, "LEE, you ate all the cherries!"

"You should taste them, they are sooooooo good" Lee said as he put the last one in his mouth,

"Well I would if there were any left!" Tadd said, "Great, I'm really hungry and there isn't anything to eat"

"You just ate a load of apples." Daniel said,

"Yeah but I'm still hungry."

"Tadd, you eat enough for all of us twice over, where do you put it all?"

"I don't know" Tadd said sulking, he carried on climbing, now way behind everyone else, "Damn you and your height!" he shouted up.

[[[[---{---{---(@) *~*~* (@)---}---}---]]]]

After another couple of minutes climbing, Lee was in front and Tadd was still behind. Lee suddenly stopped,

"Hey, what's that noise? We're not near a waterfall are we?"

"What was it Silky said about water? TAKE COVER!!!" Daniel shouted ducking under a branch,

"What did you say Chris…*SPLASH, SPLOSH* AAAHHHHHHHHH, NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!" Jono screamed, realising what Daniel had said.

"Well at least you're cleaner now" Tadd managed to get out between laughs. They all cracked up, while Jono was checking his hair, again without a mirror.

"Very funny Tadd." Jono said sarcastically getting angry that he hadn't brought a mirror.

[[[[---{---{---(@) *~*~* (@)---}---}---]]]]

They climbed for a while and stopped for a rest.

"Even if this tree has a top, it takes a hell of a long time to find it" Daniel said grabbing a banana from the tree. (Yes it grows bananas now)

"That's 'cause it doesn't have a top." Tadd said also grabbing a banana and stuffing it in his mouth,

"Yes it does Ta…" Daniel cut off Jono,

"We still have those gags"

"Sorry" Tadd and Jono said staring at each other with looks that say 'I'm right your wrong'.

After feasting on bananas they got up to carry on climbing.

"Hey, what's that noise?" Daniel said,

"Sounds like when my Spag Bol went wrong and I chucked pots and pans everywhere in a stress," Lee said, not realising he just said it. They all stared at him, "Did I say that out load?" He said trying to laugh it off.

"I think we should hide, just in case." Jono said before jumping behind a branch, they all followed him.

"No sign of Fanny, (I know it's rude but that was her original name in the book)

No sign of Jo,

No sign of Bessie,

Where did they go!"

They saw a small chap say.  You could hardly see him, he was completely covered in saucepans and kettles. He clanged as he walked and he kept singing that song over and over again. When he was out of sight they climbed out from behind the branches,

"What was that?" Lee said staring up at where the man had gone,

"I don't know but I want to find out." Tadd said, finally in the lead, as he climbed the tree.

[[[[---{---{---(@) *~*~* (@)---}---}---]]]]

A lot of climbing later...

"We can't go any further, the branches aren't thick enough." Lee pointed towards a thin branch that went up into a cloud.

"So it keeps going, we can't find the top, I was right, told ya." Tadd was jumping around and Daniel had to stop him, he wasn't really looking where he was jumping and there wasn't a lot of room up there.

"Ah, but the branches are getting thinner which means we're near the top." Jono said to Tadd just as Daniel grabbed him. They got into a huge argument about who was right, again!

"Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME!!!" Someone shouted from below them,

"Do you mind being quiet?" The person who said it had stepped out from a door a couple of branches below them. He a big round head that looked kind of like a moon.

"Sorry, they've been having this argument all day." Lee said jumping down so he didn't have to shout at this funny little man,

"Really, what argument would that be?"

"About if this tree has a top or not." Lee replied,

"Well the tree has a top, but it isn't the end," he said pointing up, "I'm Moon-face"

"I'm Lee and that's Daniel, Tadd and Jono."

"We're here to prove that I'm always right." Tadd said as they all jumped down to where Moon-face and Lee were.

"Would you like to come in, my friend Silky will be here in a minute." Moon-face said gesturing towards his door as he thought they were decent enough guys. They all walked in and looked around at the round room, everything was round the edge, a curved bed, sofa, and cupboards. In the middle was a hole and sitting on the sofa was the man they had seen singing.

"This is Saucepan Man," he said pointing at the man, "Saucepan, we have visitors."

"No I don't have any scissors, who are these people?" Saucepan said,

"This is Daniel and Tadd,"

"Hello Daniel, hello Tadd" Saucepan said,

"This is Lee…" Moon-face said pointing at Lee,

"That's a funny name Tee, oh well, hello."

"No Saucepan its LEE!" Moon-face shouted,

"Sorry, hello Lee."

"Hi." Lee replied while Tadd was trying to hide his laughter,

"And this is Jono."

"Follow? Follow you where?" Saucepan said,

"IT'S JONO!" Moon-face shouted, "I'm very sorry about him, all those pans have turned him slightly deaf."

"That's ok, so what is this tree?" Daniel said after he had stopped laughing.

"This is the Faraway Tree and that's the Enchanted Wood," Moon-face said pointing out of his window, "Did you see the house outside the forest?"

"Yeah, I bought it." Tadd said keeping an eye on Jono who was very close to the hole in the middle of the room.

"Ok. Sorry," Moon-face turned to Tadd, "I don't mean to be rude, but are you an elf, pixie or gnome?"

"No," Startled by his question, "Why?"

"It's just you're about the same size as Silky and she's an elf." Moon-face replied,

"I'm not that short am I?" Tadd felt insulted,

"Anyway," Moon-face tried to get out a sticky situation, "Do you know what happened to the previous owners?"

"Nope, it's been empty for years, why?" Tadd said, hurt.

"It's just that our good friends Fanny, (I know it's rude) Jo and Bessie lived there and we haven't seen them in 3 years."

"I'll have a look when I get back." Tadd said trying to sound helpful, with his eye still on Jono who was getting closer to the hole. Suddenly Saucepan Man jumped up with such a clatter that everyone jumped, especially Jono who jumped so much he fell down the hole,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They all heard Jono scream,

"I've just remembered I have to go and wake Watzisname up, I'll see you all later." Saucepan hadn't noticed Jono had fallen down the hole so he walked out.

"Hey, Jono fell down that hole" (der state the obvious) Lee said looking down it,

"Where does it lead?" Daniel asked Moon-face,

"It's a slide called the Slippery Slip, it goes all the way down the Faraway Tree, it's a lot easier than climbing down." He answered.

Meanwhile at the bottom of the Faraway Tree.

"Can I have your cushion please?" a voice from behind Jono said. Jono was trying to put together what just happened. He heard Saucepan Man get up then he fell down a hole and now he was sitting on a soft pile of moss with a very cold bum.

"Can I have your cushion please?" Jono turned around to see a red squirrel in a suit looking at him,

"Uh, I haven't got one." Jono said,

"But you came down the Slippery Slip, you must have a cushion." The squirrel looked puzzled.

"Well I don't" Jono replied and thought, hang on I'm talking to a squirrel, an elf and a guy with a big head I can understand, but a squirrel?

"MOVE!!!!!!!" Jono suddenly heard the unmistakable scream of Tadd just before he landed on top of him.

"I told you to move mate." Tadd said pushing Jono away from the trap door at the end of the slide just before Daniel came flying out,

"Wow, that was the best slide ever!" Daniel said trying to get up even though he was really dizzy. Lee came flying out next,

"Doesn't beat Splash Mountain at Disney World, but it was fun." Lee said getting up,

"Can I have your cushions please?" The red squirrel said again,

"Yeah here" 3 of them said handing over the brightly coloured cushions they had come down on. Tadd suddenly burst out in a fit of laughter and collapsed.

"What now Tadd?" Jono turned round, Daniel and Lee burst out laughing as well.

"What's so funny?"

"Nice boxers Jono." Lee managed to get out,

"What, oh for crying out load, this isn't my day!" Jono looked at what they were laughing at, he had a huge hole in his trousers where he had slid down the Slippery Slip. "Can we just go now?" Jono said walking towards the ditch at the beginning of the woods, hoping not to fall in this time. The other guys got up and followed him, still laughing at his bright Homer Simpson boxers in full view.