Congratulations to all of us who made it through Salem! I know it was a bumpy road but it was SO IMPORTANT! It set the foundation for the rest of the season, so don't be discouraged! The Lyatt ship is still sailing proudly! I'm doing requests for fluffy prompts on tumblr, so if you have on hit me up!
The Silo is dead at night. There is no other sounds that than the faint groaning of the fans in the hallway. Lucy hates those fan. But she walks beside them anyway, clutching her arm to her side. Sleep eludes her because sleep is nothing more than nightmares anymore. But honestly being awake is just as much of a nightmare at this point.
Her mother tried to have her killed. Hung as a witch. The woman who taught her about the trials when she was younger tried to condemn her to that same gruesome fate. But she escaped. Is it really better that way? She isn't sure.
And then there's Wyatt… she doesn't even want to go down that rabbit hole right now.
Her long paces up and down the main hallway grow tiresome, so in her haze she moves towards the couch and tries to take a seat.
But someone's already there.
"Whoa!" the person yelps as she jumps up from sitting on a pair of legs.
"Rufus?" Lucy asks barely making out who it was in the faint moonlight. "What are you doing sleeping on the couch?" He sits up and swings his legs around, but he doesn't meet her eyes.
"I, uh," he stumbles. "Jiya and I, um… well… I'm, uh… I'm sleeping on the couch." For a brief moment she almost cracks a smile because of how flustered he seems about the situation, but it quickly melts away to concern.
"What's going on?" she inquires, taking a seat beside him.
"I, uh, I probably said something I shouldn't have," he chuckles nervously. "You know that Puritan? The one I told you Jiya saw me kill?" She nods. "Yeah, well I didn't."
"Well that's… good, right?" she clarifies.
"I didn't kill him," Rufus continues. "But a cart did. Right there in front of me." Lucy sucks in a deep breath.
"And he was only in the way because he stopped to confront me because I told you and Flynn that he might be the sleeper because of the vision." He drops his head into his hands. "So that's what I told Jiya. I didn't mean to going in, but I blamed her for that man's death and basically told her to never be open with me about these visions again." Lucy leans back a little bit in the couch, taking it in; for a second, she forgets her own nightmares. "So I've been self-designated to the couch until I figure out how to make up for being a dick of a boyfriend." His words shouldn't sting her, but they do.
You're not the only one, she thinks for an instant before regretting it. He's doing what he has to. He finally got all he wants. She can't resent him for that. Rufus either notices her quick change in demeanor or translates her silence.
"No, Rufus," she tries to smile her pain away. "It's nothing."
"Is it?" he presses, sitting up more to look her directly in the eyes. Before she has time to fight it, there are tears streaming down her cheeks and falling into her lap. "Oh, Lucy," he whispers, wrapping his arms around her. Rufus wonders if she's had a chance to do this since she found out. They went straight to Salem after Wyatt told her, and right to medical after they returned. Her sadness wouldn't have made sense to their co-workers, and how could she let this show in front of Wyatt? So he figures she's done what Lucy Preston does best: put a brave face on, and keep pushing on. He can't imagine.
He feels all in big brother mode now and wraps her even tighter. Her crying is almost silent, and when he glances down to see her face, he realizes why. It's because she's not sobbing, not weeping. The tears are just streaming as rivers down her pale skin while her eyes remain wide, unblinking, like she's too numb to actively weep any more. So he just remains there, mindful of the still fresh wound on her arm and the fresh wound on her heart.
It's a few more minutes before she finally pulls back and wipes the remainder of the water from her face, sniffing slightly.
"I love him." She says it so plainly like it's the most basic, common sense fact, but with such an underlying sense of conviction. "I love him so much, Rufus. So how could I have done this any differently?" Rufus is stunned silent. He isn't dumb. He was in Hollywoodland. He was there in the warehouse in 1954. Hell, even after the Alamo mission. He had had a front row seat to Lucy's ever growing affection for Wyatt, and the sequel of Wyatt's ever growing affection for Lucy. He knows that where the landed in Hollywoodland was inevitable, but something about hearing her say it… It makes this whole shit show even more horrible. As if it wasn't horrible enough. "Could I have been so selfish as to tell him that she isn't the only one who loves him? Over the phone? And make all of this so much harder on him?" He sees her shoulder visibly slump forward. She must be exhausted. "No." she whispers. "He needs this." Rufus isn't sure if he should say what's blaring like a siren in his brain. He doesn't know if it'll just make matters worse, but doesn't she deserve to know?
"He loves you, too, you know?" he tells her, and she scoffs.
"He doesn't love me, Rufus." She shakes her head at him with a force smile stitched across her cracked lips, but the look in her eyes says that she actually believes it. "I mean he might as a friend, and a teammate, but what he feels for Jessica is something he has never felt towards me." Rufus loves Wyatt, he really does, but he has brief thoughts about taking on the former Delta Force agent in a physical altercation for causing one of his best friends so much pain.
"I was there for the six weeks he spent without you," he explains, hoping he isn't taking this too far, only causing her more pain. "And I've seen Wyatt at some pretty low points, but nothing compares to what I saw when you were gone. Now clearly I'm no expert on love and relationships, but if it wasn't love then, it certainly was by the time 1941 came around." The reminder of Hollywood makes her visibly tense up, and Rufus backs off slightly. "I'm just telling you what I've seen, and I think before you go throwing away all hope, maybe you should tell Wyatt how you're actually feeling." She looks up at him through her lashes, skepticism etched into every feature. Better than numbness.
"So what can happen, Rufus? So he can have more pressure on him? So he can let me down easy? I'd rather keep what dignity I have left." He can't blame her for her biting words, but he also won't take them back.
"So you can know," he shrugs. The words "open road" echo in her mind, and it takes all her strength to not break down again. But is he right? Would knowing be better? Would hearing that he does in fact love her, but he is still going to be with his wife make this any easier? She can't imagine it would, but she still nods her head like she'll consider it.
"Okay," she sighs, before adding with a smirk, "I'll think about it if you go apologize to Jiya. Like right now." They both laugh.
"Yeah I probably should do that, huh?" He scratches at the skin behind his ear. "Not one of my finest moments as a boyfriend. Although there have been few of those anyway." Lucy thinks about how nice it feels to laugh again, and how grateful she is for Rufus just being there. He stands to leave before saying one more thing: "It's all gonna work out, you know?" And for a brief moment she believes it, so she nods in agreement. "Goodnight, Lucy." She bids him goodnight as well before making her way back to her room, feeling like she might be able to actually get some rest.
But there's still one more person awake in the darkness of the Silo. Wyatt has been trying to find rest outside of the room he and Jessica are now sharing. It just doesn't feel right anymore. He knows why. Yesterday he thought there was no going back from bringing Jessica here, but from what he's just heard, he's no longer so sure. He drops his head back against the wall and knows sleep will elude him for the rest of the night.
So this was a tad more angsty than I like to write but someone requested it so here it is! Thank you for reading and please review :)