Disclaimer: I own, nothing, nothing, nothing and NOTHING... Well, except for the plot, which isn't all that original, although I try, lord knows I do. And there may be a few original characters, but just incase out of a strange coincidence someone else has written the EXACT same thing, I don't wanna be sued so I OWN NOTHING! Lyrics in the beginning by Godsmack.... I don't own them! And I'm not making money off this at all!

Summary: read and find out
Mistakes we made
No, I don't feel a thing.
Life's going by me.
And still I say, Oh God!
I'm making the same mistakes.
Low?
I'm on empty.
Try to erase all the bad times.
Free?
I don't seem to be.
My soul remains tied to your life.
Every breath you breathe deep...
I feel you circulating through me.
I'll never forgive myself again.
I'm so sick and tired of making the same mistakes.

Mistakes by Godsmack

Chapter One: Memories

Hermione sighed, setting dinner out for her and her husband. She ground her teeth together at the thought of him. She felt guilty. A good wife did not wish her husband would get held late at work and not come home until she was asleep. She sat down at her usual chair just as the door opened.

"What's for dinner?" the voice of Terrence Higgs was bored and irritable. A bad day at work, Hermione suspected.

"Chicken," Hermione said spooning some onto a plate for him.

"God damnit, when are you going to learn to cook something real?" He asked knocking her hand away form his plate; he pulled it back towards him and started eating glaring at her.

"I'm sorry," Hermione whispered. "I never really learned to cook, I always thought my career was more important to study for-"

"I'm tired of your feminist excuses," He said sternly. "Women are there to cook, clean and reproduce, whoever tells you any different is full of shit." Hermione took a gulp of water swallowing hard and forcing herself not to reply. "What's wrong? Why are you so quiet?" He asked suspiciously.

"I don't feel well," Hermione said through her teeth.

"Feel guilty? Cheating bitch," He hissed. Hermione shook her head.

"I'm just not hungry,"

"Saw that letter you were writing to Wealsey, and Potter. I'm not dense Hermione," He spat.

"There just friends, I've not seen them for a year and a half, since our wedding, they just killed the last of the deatheaters that haven't converted," Hermione said trying to stay matter-of-fact and not proud.

"Suppose you think there better then I am because they're aurors," He said angrily.

"That's not true," Hermione argued. He rolled his eyes getting up and slamming his empty plate into the sink.

"Wash up, put away the food, I'll be in the bedroom waiting," He ordered. Hermione nodded standing up and heading towards the dishes. She turned the hot water on and let it run over her hands. After Terrence had taken her wand away she had been angry about doing the chores by hand, but something about the hot water running over her hands was comforting. She closed her eyes telling herself that things would get better, maybe Ron and Harry would come to visit, or Terrence would get a raise, and be happier.

~*~*~*~

"Yes, well, that's all today, we've got to rest up, work tomorrow," Ron said winking at the young reporter who smiled in an airy way. Harry grabbed Ron by his elbow and apperated them back to there flat.

"She was attractive," Harry said shooting Ron a look.

"Not my type," Ron said untying his tie and kicking off his shoes.

"What? Blonde hair, tall thin-"

"Giggly, fake," Ron added sitting at the end of his bed. Harry sighed.

"Stop, right now, just stop," Harry said firmly.

"Stop what?" Ron asked faking ignorance, he knew what Harry meant but didn't want to admit to it.

"Thinking of her like that, Hermione's married, you lost your chance to think of her like that. Besides you, yourself said you'd tear each other to pieces." Harry pointed out.

"I wasn't thinking of her," Ron said defensively. Harry gave him a knowing look, "Well, not like that," Ron added turning red. He lay back on his bed scooting up to the pillow; he yanked the blankets down and pulled them up over him, not bothering to change into pajamas.

"Going to sleep already?" Harry asked.

"It's eleven," Ron muttered glancing at the clock.

"But we don't actually have work tomorrow, that was a lie so we wouldn't have to answer anymore questions," Harry said. Ron shrugged.

"I'm tired."
~*~*~*~
Terrence's eyes glinted when Hermione walked into their bedroom, tired.

"Ready?" He asked. Hermione sighed knowing what she'd get if she argued. She pulled off her shirt and slid down her pants, feeling helpless and dirty. He pulled her back onto the bed laying on top of her and crushing her into the mattress. His skin was sweaty against hers and she squirmed underneath him.

"What's wrong with you? Don't you want this?" He asked his voice edging towards angry.

"I told you, I don't feel well-"

"Lazy, good for nothing wench," He muttered under his breath. "Can't you do anything to make your husband who worked all bloody day, happy?" Hermione tried not to think about how he wouldn't have to work all day if he hadn't made her quit her job with Harry and Ron as a handler for aurors.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said forcing herself to kiss his jaw. He pulled his hand back smacking her.

"Stop pretending, either kiss me for real or don't," He yelled. Hermione felt tears sting her eyes. "This doesn't have to be pretty, and sweet, this can be hard it's all the same for me," He said forcing her legs apart with his knees.
~*~*~*~
"Ron, Ron! RON!" Harry shouted, finally getting up and pulling his pillow out from under his head.

"God, Harry what?" Ron asked yawning.

"Don't do this Ron," He said seriously giving the pillow back to Ron who shoved it under his head. "You were calling her name again."

"I didn't mean to," Ron said sheepishly. "I miss her so much sometimes."

"She's happily married."

"Maybe if I just go for a visit, then-"

"Then maybe you'll accidentally tell her how you feel making her furious with you and ruining your friendship, not to mention mine with her," Harry said clicking on the light.

"How happy could she be with a guy who made her quit her job?" Ron argued.

"She said it was her decision," Harry replied.

"Would the Hermione you know ever volunteer to give up her job for no apparent reason?" Harry considered.

"Even so, she wouldn't have married him if she didn't love him, and if you go see her..." Harry trailed off knowing he had made his point. Ron sighed.

"I know." He said. "I'll move on, I promise." He assured Harry, making a mental note to call Ginny and get her to ask Harry out for lunch so that he could go see Hermione without Harry nagging him.
~*~*~*~


Hermione glared at her vision in the mirror the next day. Terrence hadn't said anything about it, which had almost made it even worse, not even a "I'm sorry, I was having a bad day." She glared at the red bruise that was rapidly growing violet.

Hermione pulled some concealer out of the cupboard, and then put it back. What did it matter? Terrence wouldn't let her leave the house anyways, and no one ever came to the door to see her. He had been so nervous about anyone finding out about there rocky marriage, for fear of rumors, that he'd set up a security system, that would show how many times people entered and left the house, and for how long they were in and/or out.

Hermione turned the knob on the bathtub filling it with hot water. In hot water she could forget the bad and remember the good.
~*~*~*~

"Ron, I can't do this every bloody time you want to send Hermione a letter, or every time you want to do research on her. I mean you wonder why she never gave you her address, maybe because she figured you'd obsess over her," Ginny's voice rung irritatingly through Ron's muggle cell phone.

"Gin, please, I haven't seen her in a year, I need to for.... Uh, closure," Ron, insisted remembering seeing an article about closure in one of the magazines on Ginny's coffee table. He could hear her sigh and knew she was about to give in.

"Fine, but this is the last time, I have a boyfriend now," Ginny said sharply.

"A what?" Ron asked incredulously.

"A boyfriend Ron, yes I have moved on from my pathetic crush on your best friend, I have a boyfriend." She snapped.

"How come I've not met this boyfriend?" Ron asked just as sharply.

"Because I'd like him to stay my boyfriend for a while,"

"What's his name?"

"Ron, I'm not going to tell you his name just so that you can go to your office and run a search on him," Ginny said exasperatedly.

"Wouldn't you like to know what kind of a guy he is?" Ron asked in what he thought was a reasonable tone.

"I'd like to find that out for myself, thanks very much,"

"What's he do?"

"Actually, he's a quidditch player," Ginny said proudly. Ron scoffed.

"Right Gin,"

"What?" Ginny asked

"A quiddtich player? Really, there's no boyfriend, right? You just don't want to look desperate," Ron stated pompously.

"There is to a boyfriend," Ginny insisted.

"Then what's his first name? Does he have one?" Ron asked.

"His name is, uh, Tom," Ginny said slowly.

"Sure," Ron drew the word out sarcastically.

"I really do have a boyfriend, he's a seeker as a matter of fact," Ginny insisted.

"Whatever Gin. And remember to call Harry in about ten minutes," Ron said figuring arguing was not a good idea seeing as Ginny was going to help him.

"Fine," Ginny muttered obviously not happy.

"Love you,"

"Go to hell," Ginny said before hanging up. Ron grinned.

"Who was that on the phone?" Harry asked coming out of the bathroom with his hair still wet from his shower.

"Uh, my Mum," Ron said quickly. Harry mumbled something that sounded like "oh."

"So any plans for today?" Harry asked.

"Nah," Ron mumbled letting himself drop backwards onto the sofa, he clicked on the muggle television to see a commercial for "Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets,"

"Can we panic now?" The red headed actor who was supposed to play Ron himself asked in a terrified voice. Ron rolled his eyes.

"I did NOT sound like that," He mumbled Harry laughed, "Seriously Harry you shouldn't have let that Rowling lady write books about us, now there adding movies I mean seriously, it's sick," Ron said shuddering.

"Oh yeah, you thought it was sick when the sales on those books and those movies bought us this flat," Harry said dripping with sarcasm as he turned in a circle to emphasize the size of there flat.

"Well, maybe that bit was nice..." Ron trailed off stretching and clicking to the next channel.

"So you want to do something?" Harry asked running a hand through his wet hair.

"I think I'll stay in today, rest up a bit," Ron said glancing up at Harry who shrugged. The phone rang and Ron smiled to himself as Harry went to answer it.

~*~*~*~

Hermione let the water encircle her body as she sat down in the large bathtub. She closed her eyes resting her head on the back of the tub and thinking of all the happy things that had happened to her. Making friends with Ron and Harry, visiting Ron at the burrow. Dancing at the Yule ball and feeling that everyone was watching her. Whispering with Ginny at nighttime talking to her about everything from her brother, to Harry, to the diary, to her new shoes. The first day of spring.

She sighed, the first day of spring. The first day of spring in her sixth year. She had told Harry and Ron that she needed to study, that there finals were coming up, that she had to get good scores to be head girl the next year, but they hadn't let her get away with that. They had pulled her outside, running with her outside shouting insane things for no reason other then that it was spring and it was the first good weather they had, had since September.

"Only a few more months of school!" Ron had shouted as they all fell onto the soft plush grass. Hermione had rolled her eyes.

"Ron, that's not something to be happy about," Hermione had scolded. Ron had just grinned and lay down. And then Harry laid down and then Hermione, laying in a triangle, there heads all in the center just staring up at the blue sky, and watching the occasional puffy white cloud float by.

"Hey sis, come have a lie down," Ron had called scooting closer to Hermione to make the triangle into a square. Ginny had taken her spot in between Ron and Harry with a soft blush on her cheeks. And they had started talking casually about this and that, and then the talk had turned to quidditch, and Ginny, who was a beater, with Ron, had mentioned how she wasn't good at pulling out of dives.

"I can help you with that," Harry had offered and the two of them had gone off waving behind them.

"What, turning down quiddtich practice?" Hermione had asked sitting up. Ron had smiled up at her lazily.

"You'd love that wouldn't you Mione? Me leave with the others so you could run back inside and study some more," Ron had accused.

"Oh you know me well," Hermione had said sarcastically, leaning over Ron, a wisp of her hair swung forward springing lightly over Ron's cheek, he caught it between two fingers and tucked it behind Hermione's ear.

"Can't believe this is happening," Ron muttered not smiling but with the same sparkle in his deep blue eyes.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Harry and my sister," He moaned, "I think HE may like HER now." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"There good together you know," She had said matter-of-factly.

"Everyone's coupling off," Ron muttered, "Pretty soon you and I'll be the only two left." He had joked.

"What do you think will happen then?" Hermione had asked feeling her stomach flip over. Ron sighed as if it were an awful thought.

"I guess," He sighed again more loudly, "I guess I'll have to marry you," He had joked.

"Oh thanks a lot make it sound like death,"

"Well seriously, two friends like us? Getting married?" He shuddered jokingly. "I mean it WOULD be death, can you imagine us... Kissing? Or worse-"

"Are you saying I'm a bad kisser?" Hermione broke in with mock-rage.

"Well, seeing as I've never kissed you, how should I know?" He had asked innocently.

"Sounds like you WANT to be kissed Mister Weasley," Hermione said leaning down towards him.

"Sounds like your offering Miss Granger," Ron had said and then he had propped himself up on his elbows pressing his lips against hers softly, and then more firmly, Hermione had been surprised by this, she had expected a friendly peck, but this was going further, and some reason she wasn't pulling back, one of his hands was now holding the side of her face, he nipped lightly at her bottom lip in a playful way and her lips had parted letting him tongue slide into her mouth softly.

It had been her first real kiss, and it was with her best friend and even after they had both pulled back and by the others expression, had known that it couldn't happen again, she was still happy, ecstatic. No one else's kiss had ever been able to do that to her, make her fully happy.

A soft thunking noise brought Hermione out of her thoughts and memories and back to the present. Someone was at the door. She sighed figuring that it was some type of salesmen. She stood up out of the bathtub, water trailing down her body she stepped out grabbing one of the white towels off the rack and rapping it around her, she glared once again at the now violet bruise on her cheek. She opened the cupboard again pulling out the concealer rushedly and knocking a basket out of the cupboard in the process. Two syringes a white container full of small pills and a bag of white powdery substance fell out onto the counter. Hermione grimaced. Her husband's muggle drugs.

She swept them quickly into the trashcan and hearing a few more "thunks" ran downstairs in her towel, forgetting the concealer; after all it was just a salesman. She pulled open the door brushing some wet hair out of her eyes as she did so, and when she looked up, Ron Weasley.
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I do plan to add more, even though this story is just to help me get over my writers block for my other fic "The Monster Within" but it may be a while, because these chapters are longer, and lately I've been busy, I think we're moving... sigh
But if you like it, then please send me a review! And I'll see how fast I can type :)

~E