It is with the deepest regrets that I must inform you that your beloved sister has passed. She gave her life to save that of her son, Harry, whom I have attached to this missive. Unfortunately, the Dark Wizard Voldemort, though he perished in attempting to kill young Harry, had many followers who are likely to target Harry as well as your family due to your association with him and his mother. As a result of the enchantment that your sister placed upon Harry, he and you will be safest if Harry stays in your home for the duration of his upbringing.
With all due consolation and well wishes,
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,
Order of Merlin First Class,
Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,
Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot,
Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards
"Hmph!" said Granny.
"Aw, he's a cute one. His hair is just like our Bobward's when he was this size," said Nanna.
"Who's this letter addressed to? The ink's all blotted," said Magrat.
"Typical work of a wizard. Can't write proper, and his signature takes up more room than the script!" exclaimed Granny.
"Oh, poor dear has a little scar on his forehead," said Nanny.
"It seems quite important that we know whose letter this is, given all that about vengeance and whatnot," reasoned Magrat.
"None of us has a sister 'sfar as I know," said Granny.
"Oh, he must mean Goodie Whemper-" said Nanny.
"Maysherestinpeace," said Granny.
"-maysherestinpeace," said Nanny.
"Didn't she die three years ago?" asked Magrat.
Granny frowned. "It was either three or seven. Twas the same season that plague swept through the kingdom that we all had to clean up."
"Do you mean the one with the toads hatching out of people's backs?" asked Magrat.
"No, no. The one where their ears started acrawlin' all o'er the place," clarified Granny.
"Oh right, that. Well, that was five years ago. That was why our Pete-Rick had trouble hearing me when I explained to him why he had to marry that strumpet. Their first baby is just six now. Twas my first great-great grandchild," said Nanny.
"Regardless," said Granny. She was a fan of the word 'regardless' since it let you neatly brush aside the need to admit you were wrong. "If she died three, five, or seven years ago, why'd the babe show up now?"
"Hmm…" Nanny considered while she continued to fuss over the child.
At that moment a hawk made a great cry as it dove for an unsuspecting hare, drawing the attention of the witches. It froze mid-dive, while the clueless rodent hopped leisurely into a nearby hole. A moment later the hawk unfroze and took a graceless tumble into the long grass. This sort of portent was quite commonplace in the Ramtops, but in this case was quite illuminating for the gathered witches.
"Oh," said Nanny, "that would do it."
"I've figured it out! It must be addressed to all of us!" exclaimed Magrat.
Granny and Nanny turned to Magrat.
"Well, the address is all blurred, but Goodie Whemper, maysherestinpeace, was a sister to all of us, as much to any one of us. It must mean that we're all to adopt him," she said.
"We have to keep this one?" asked Granny.
"Well, the letter isn't lying about the magic about the boy. I can feel it wrapped all around him," said Nanny.
"Oooh! We should do a ritual of adoption! Hm, we'll need a proper dagger, Goodie's-" said Magrat.
"Maysherestinpeace," chorused Granny and Nanny.
"Birthstone, some of her favorite herbs, oh and some crystals for good measure. Good ones, not those glorified salts!" exclaimed Magrat.
Granny and Nanny exchanged an uneasy glance.
"Perhaps it would be best if we each did the adoption in our own home, in our own way," suggested Nanny.
Magrat's enthused eyes remained undimmed while Granny fervently nodded.
"Right then, it's settled," said Nanny.
Harry was well tucked into his crib by one of the daughters-in-law. Nanny considered her adoption and blessing duties carefully over a large glass of wine. It took her to the end of the glass to realize the perfect blessing for an orphan. She quickly poured and second and raised it to the sleeping infant.
"May you never want for family, Harry Ogg," she declared solemnly and drained the glass in one go, as was appropriate when toasting and blessing.
Pleased with herself she poured another glass to celebrate.
Harry squirmed as he was placed in a circle of tiny runes. There were some that meant solitude, as he was an orphan, some that Magrat wasn't sure of, but looked like the bad sort, and they were all written as small as Magrat could make them, as Harry was just a little one. Various scents filled the air as herbs burned.
Magrat carefully picked Harry up, carried him through a crystal-bedecked hearth, and placed him in a chalk circle inside her home. This one decorated with crude drawings of houses and stick figure families.
"Bewelcomed into my home and my family, Harry Garlick. May you always get where you need to be. So mote it be!" proclaimed Magrat. It seemed he had a bit of trouble getting to them in the first place, so she thought it would do well to cancel that tendency out early.
Granny glared at the letter. It seemed to get even more offensive than it had been when she first read it, and that was saying quite a lot. Typical wizard behavior, foisting responsibility upon unsuspecting witches and leaving babies with naught but a note to their name.
And this baby was magic too. No doubt he'd grow up and become a wizard and take on too many names and invent some ridiculous titles for himself and start throwing orphans hither and yon without a care.
Granny paused and smiled a smile as crooked as she could make it.
"May you never fall for any wizarding nonsense, Harry Weatherwax."
AN: Edited 6/2/18, mostly for line breaks and dialogue clarity. This fic will assume that you've read Harry Potter and Wyrd Sisters, though most of the action will take place in the HP world.