April Fool's in Saiyuki

A/N: In honour of the Day of Fools. Naturally, Sanzo is prime target. There's something so appealing about putting the poor guy in torture…but I'm trying not to do it too often. After all, I don't wanna get shot. OOC warning.

Disclaimer: Gensomaden Saiyuki and all the characters in it belong to Kazuya Minekura. Not me!! So, don't sue!! Okay, now on with the weirdness!

-ººº-

Something wasn't right.

Sanzo really didn't like it when things weren't right. Usually because it meant either:

A) A whole gang or just one powerful youkai was about to strike

B) Kougaiji and his gang were about to strike

C) Homura and HIS party were about to strike

D) One of them was in deep shit

E) ALL of them were in deep shit

F) Someone was missing

G) Half of the four were missing

H)…

Aw, to heck with H. Suffice to say that when Sanzo felt something was wrong, it usually was. And now was one of those times. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. But usually Hakkai had to screech to a halt before the trouble started. Right now he was just driving along with that irritating smile on his face. Then, something hit Sanzo.

It was WAY too quiet at the back.

Sanzo looked at the back through the corner of his eye. He nearly fell out of the front seat. Gojyo was actually…reading?! Sanzo couldn't believe it. The red eyed, crimson haired half-breed was actually reading a historical novel. Not some trashy Playboy magazine or any other thing in that genre. And to top it all off, he wasn't busy arguing with Goku.

Wait a minute…if he wasn't arguing with Goku, then what was the saru up to?

What Sanzo saw next almost made him fall right out of the jeep itself.

Goku was not complaining about the weather, the condition of his stomach or that he was bored. He was just sitting quietly, looking thoughtful. He seemed to be actually thinking about something.

The monk felt a rare feeling of dread and discomfort creep up his spine. There were only a few possibilities to this.

A) Somehow or other, some…'things' had replaced the real Goku and Gojyo.

B) Gojyo and Goku were being mind controlled by some assassin youkai

C) He was going insane

Sanzo had the weirdest feeling that he wouldn't be too surprised should it turn out to be option C. Shaking it off, he looked back to the front concentrated on the road. He convinced himself that the two idiots were probably just tired of arguing every day. Fine with him. All those quarrels gave him headaches anyway. He settled down in the seat and just stared stonily ahead. Hakkai continued driving, Gojyo continued reading and Goku went on looking out into the distance thoughtfully.

Few more hours passed in silence.

Sanzo's forehead was for once in history not twitching, his hands were not reaching for the gun or the harisen and not the slightest sound of "I'm hungry…" came from the back.

It was plain creepy.

The blonde was on the edge wondering what the heck was going on. Not once did he imagine that he'd be this uncomfortable about silence. After all he surrounded himself with it nearly every day.

But then again, when Gojyo and Goku are silent in a non-threatening situation, something's BOUND to be wrong somewhere. So, Sanzo glanced at the back again. This time, his eyes really did bug out.

Goku was actually refusing Gojyo's share of the bun that they had bought in the last town.

He didn't know which was more shocking; Gojyo sharing or Goku actually refusing food. But Sanzo being Sanzo, had too much pride and dignity to mention that there was anything wrong if no one thought it to be abnormal. So, he shut up and turned around again although something screamed in his head again and again.

THIS ISN'T NORMAL!!!

Sanzo mentally told the voice to shut up. Of course, you can never shut up a voice in your own head. So, it just continued to ring alarm bells and scream out warning signs. Hakkai glanced over at his friend and noticed that Sanzo was sweating.

"Sanzo?"

"Hm."

"Why are you sweating so much?"

"Nothing. Urusai."

Hakkai shrugged and returned to driving. Goku looked up and blinked in surprise.

"Ne, Sanzo? Are you sure you're ok? You're sweating way too much and we're not even in the desert."

Now that scared Sanzo. Goku actually making perfectly good sense.

"Urusai."

"Okay." Goku returned to his seat.

Gojyo came next. "Yeah, Sanzo. Goku and Hakkai's right. You sure don't look too good. Maybe you should take a nap or something."

That was it. Gojyo being concerned was the last and final straw.

-ººº-

Lirin looked up. "Did you hear someone scream?"

Yaone listened. "You must be hearing things, Lirin-chan."

Shrugging, the little youkai went back to training. Although she could've sworn she heard someone scream in anguish…

-ººº-

One brunette with a monocle, a shorter brunette with a diadem and a redhead with a headband fell right out of the jeep at the impact of a certain blonde's scream.

The jeep was still moving as Hakkai poked his head out of the ground. Sanzo sat, still screaming, in the jeep as it sped away without a driver. He looked at his other two friends and sighed. They gave him innocent grins.

"How were we to know he'd freak out like that? We were just doing what he'd always wanted. To be quiet."

Gojyo sniggered. "April Fool's Day must be the best day in the year…"

End.