"You're mine, gods damn it! Why can't you understand this? Why do you always have to bring me on the edge?!"
I can barely restrain myself from hitting her. I wanna wipe the floor with her face but I know I'll be regretting it the moment I'll do it.I want her! And what Ares wants, Ares gets!
"So what are you going to do? Kill me?! You might as well try! We both know you can't do it! So cut the crap already and act like a man"
This woman has an amazing talent when it comes to making me hate her. Gods I hate her so much. The irony in her voice and the way she smiles at me, like she knows that I would never harm a hair on her head, make me wanna grab her and wipe this fucking smile off her face.
"So what do you want me to do, Xena? Hit you? rape you and kill you cause you don't want me? That's what you call a man?"
she doesn't say anything. I can actually sense her aura changing. she feels ashamed. Even without our bond it would be obvious to me. The way she is trying to fake a smile...It's funny, you know, the fact that we both know that we can read each other like open books but still, we never stop hiding our true feelings
" You know that's not what I mean. I just want you to give me some time, Ares"
Her voice is now softer and her hands rest on my chest. She says she wants time but I can guarantee that all she wants and needs is just me. she wants to feel me just as much as I want to feel her. why does she has to be so stubborn, Damn it! if she could just let us be...
I start to process her words. time? what does she mean " time"? how much? she wants me completely out of her life? Am I that annoying to her?
"Sorry Princess! Cannot happen. I've already given you time! Two whole years and you want more?" I snapped. There's no way I am going to lose her again.
"You're such a bastard! After all you've done to me, you still want to keep me with you like I'm some kind of whore? You've already hurt me enough, don't you think?" I've hurt her? The only thing I ever did was protecting her from getting hurt. How can she say this?
"And by the way...Hercules would have just do it. See, that's where you two are different! He knows how to love. He respects what I want. He's not a selfish bastard like you!"
Damn this woman! She knows how much I hate him! She knows how much it hurts imagining her with him! She wants to hurt me. Oh well...if she wants to play... I can play!
Ares was about to expload. His eyes were fully open and his hands had formed two tight grips.
"You wanna go there? Please princess, enlighten me! Tell me how exactly did I hurt you!"
She didn't even think the answer. She was so mad that he was keeping her there against her will that the only thing she wanted was to kill him. For his own good she wasn't able to do it.
"You fucked up my life! What more could you do? You eliminated every ounce of humanity that I had in me!You made me a monster"
"I didn't do anything that you didn't want!"
"Ugh, Can you just leave me the fuck alone!What kind of god are you?! Go find another mortal to torment! I would choose Hercules over you any time!And you wanna know why?"
She was pushing him. She knew she had to stop but her mouth was talking on its own.
"Cause he feels damn good! It feels good having him inside me!Better than it ever did with you! He loves me and I can easily learn to love him. What you don't see Ares, is that you have already lost me to him. Now let me go, will ya? Don't worry I can take care of myself"
Ares didn't say a word. He was about to throw a fireball towards her but he decided that he won't let her get under his skin. She wasn't his master. He was HERS. And he could make her regreting these words immidiatly.
He slowly got up and aproched her. She had this stupid smile on her face again. Oh how he wanted to slap her till she dies but he knew a better way to kill her.
"Can you, Xena? See, the last time I remember I left you, you were pregnant with my child...Weren't those the exact words you said? I can take care of myself, Ares" "Stop it.." "And then BOOM. Your stupidity killed your child. OUR child. You killed her and you never paid!" Xena was trying to seem calm. But he knew very well how much his words hurt her.
"Or this are time...With Solan. Wow!congratualtions! at least this time you managed to not kill the child. At least before its birth" Tears were now rolling down her cheeks .She hated him so much for what he was doing to her. But even more, she hated herself cause she knew he was right. She knew she had killed both of them and she would never forgive herself.
"By the gods, I hate you so much" She looked him dead in the eye. he froze. One look at her and he woke up. His anger had blinded him and he couldn't hear himself. All those things he said...He didn't even believe them. What were they doing? Why were they doing this to each other?
"Xe..I... Baby I'm-" "I don't care if you're sorry or not! Just GET OUT OF MY LIFE! Why can't you just do that!" She was screaming. Her eyes were still full of tears. He had never seen her like this before.
"shhh...I'm so sorry. I just wanted to hurt you! I'm an asshole! I didn't mean anything I said."
He was desperately trying to hug her. To take the pain away. How he wished he could turn back time
She was trying to escape from his hands but he wouldn't let her
"Why are you doing this to me? What have I done to deserve this? I know that it's all my fault...just let me die"
That's the worst thing that she could ever say to him. And to think that he was the one who caused all of this. the pain she was feeling was so strong through their bond, that Ares couldn't stand it. this was the first time, during his long life, that he was genuinely regretting his words. She preferred to die. if she dies, he dies. He will not live a life without her. Not again.
" Xena... don't say this...please"
" please...just leave! at least for now..."
She seemed... exhausted. tired of all this constant fighting. they were fighting everyday, but this time it was serious. this time she wouldn't forgive him and he knew he shouldn't go there. yes she was challenging him, but still...he shouldn't say those things.
" okay... I 'll let you relax... but please babe...don't dip anything stupid"
she was feeling trapped. like a prisoner. she knew that she was paying for her sins. all that killing...all that hate...She destroyed lives and now hers was destroying too.
She loved him. of that she couldn't lie. She loved Ares. She loved war. buy it had to stop. She doesn't want to change him... She just had to stay away from him. He was acting like she was his property. he wouldn't let her sleep alone, he wouldn't let her fight alone...he wouldn't even let her kill herself alone.
everything they've been through... She loved him madly. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him but it was not right. He is war and she wanted to be peace.