Greetings again everyone! It's me! That guy! First off, an announcement!


I wrote that fic as something of a joke. I got to just write randomly whatever I wanted, and it was fun. But the plot holes were glaring and kind of a mess. Will I write something like that again? Yes. Yes I will. Soon. This, however, will not be that fic. This fic will have comedy (as all of my fics do) but it will not be randomness and stupidity.

For those of you concerned, however, this will also most likely be the most serious chapter.

I hope those of you who consider yourselves my fans enjoy my new story. Please read and review and tell me how you like it.

The purely comedic fic will come out shortly. Trust me.

This will somewhat be Godlike! Naruto, but not really? Like Saitama of One Punch Man he won't be too inclined to use his powers.

One Hit Ninja

There's something to be said about being too strong. Once you have the ability to do anything you want, you find that you don't really want to do anything.

Naruto was never what you would call "smart". He didn't pick up on things as easily as the other students in his school. His teachers would often have to explain things to him in a unique way as to make it entertain him. Most of the time they failed, and so Naruto never really kept pace with his fellow students. As such, even though he was several years younger than them, Naruto would have to keep his head down as he watched his fellow classmates graduate without him.

"Dad, I just want to say goodbye!" a young girl with blonde hair yelled. She had the prettiest blue eyes that Naruto had ever seen. His own were blue, and much brighter, but Naruto had never found the same joy in looking at his own eyes.

"No," her father responded. His eyes, blue like the young girl's, were mean. They were hard, and sharp like knives. It hurt Naruto to look into them, so he looked away. He could still hear the man, though. He wasn't that far away from where all the graduated students were being held. "That boy is a… he's a monster."

"Little Naruto?" the girl asked. Her name was Aiko. Naruto made sure to remember that her name was spelled with an "Ai". "Little Naruto couldn't harm a fly. He can't even learn the Clone Technique."

Naruto couldn't see the man, but he could feel the man's glare. The young blond boy scrunched his eyes shut and tried to ignore it, like he did in the village. It was harder now, though. Aiko was there. Aiko would be able to see that he was hated. Aiko would hate him too.

"I don't care what you say, Dad. I'm going to say bye to Little Naruto. I'm not going to be in the Academy anymore and there won't be anyone to look after him."

Naruto heard the grass crunch. There was a lot of grass in the schoolyard, and the wildest of it grew near the old swing set where the blond boy currently sat. To be honest, it wasn't a swing set so much as a wooden plank tied up with rope to a tree branch. It was the only swing on the yard, though. It was where Naruto felt he could be comfortably alone.

He used to play with kids on this swing. They would stop playing when they learned the cool ninja Techniques. Somehow being able to walk on walls and turn into other things was way more fun than a stupid old swing. Naruto tried to learn those Techniques too. He hadn't succeeded yet.

"Listen, Aiko. I told you to leave the boy alone. You will do as I say!" the father hissed. The ground near the unruly grass crunched and whined. Naruto could tell there was a scuffle going on. He didn't dare look up, though.

"Dad, stop! You're hurting me…" Naruto's heart hurt. His chest hurt and clenched when he heard Aiko's voice sound so afraid. She was always so happy and cheerful. Was this how she acted with her parents? Were parents like this to their children?

"Hey, you leave her alone, you big jerk!" a crass voice called out. Naruto recognized that voice. It was Kiban, the biggest boy in their class. Kiban had really wild hair that looked scruffy no matter how he tried to comb it. His teeth, specifically his canines, and his nails were always so sharp; his eyes were also so fierce, it always looked like he wanted to fight. Because of this he was the "bully" of the school. No one ever challenged him and everyone did as he said.

He never told Naruto what to do, though. Kiban was always nice to Naruto. He was always nice to Aiko, too. Naruto often wondered if the two facts were related.

Aiko's father grunted. "Back off, boy. I am her father. I can tell her whatever I want."

"Why, you…" Kiban growled. That was another weird thing about Kiban. He growled when he was angry. He was like a dog. "I oughtta…"

"You ought to what, exactly?" Aiko's dad asked. There was a challenging tone in his voice, and for a second Naruto was afraid that Kiban would fight Aiko's dad. Kiban was good, and strong, but he wasn't as big as Aiko's dad. Finally, Naruto decided to look up, and was immediately relieved.

"He ought to do nothing," a woman responded. She looked an awful lot like Kiban, except much wilder. And bigger. Especially around the chest. She placed a hand on Kiban's head and ruffled his hair. "Kiban, didn't I tell you not to mess with these Yamanaka folk? Their heads are all messed up from messing with other people's heads."

Aiko's father didn't look pleased. His mouth twisted and for a second Naruto thought he looked like a demon. He closed his eyes, and then breathed in and out very slowly. Finally, after a couple seconds, Aiko's dad opened his eyes and glared at the woman behind Kiban.

"Insults and vulgarity from an Inuzuka. Why am I not surprised?"

"Because all you headhunters do is spy on people. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew what color panties I were wearing right now."

"Knowing you savages," Aiko's father started with a sneer, "you probably aren't wearing any."

"See?" Kiban's sister chirped. "Peeping perverts, the lot of you. Right on target, ace."

Aiko's father gasped. He looked affronted. Shaking his head, he placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder and made to pull her away. "Come, Aiko. You don't need to be in this cesspool of depravity any longer."

Kiban's sister laughed. "Those are an awful lot of hundren yen words for a degenerate pervert." Aiko's dad stiffened, but he didn't turn around to respond. He kept pulling Aiko away. This made Kiban's sister laugh even harder. "C'mon Kiban. Let's get out of here."

With that, Kiban turned to follow his sister off the school grounds. As Aiko and Kiban were pulled in opposite directions, Naruto couldn't help but notice the way they looked back at each other. Though he couldn't tell why, the way that they looked at each other made Naruto's chest hurt even more.

"I hope I'm on your team, Aiko!" Kiban called across the school ground. Aiko didn't say anything, but she did turn around. The tears in her eyes reflected the afternoon sun, but they did nothing to dim the smile she had on her face.

She nodded so hard that Naruto thought her head would fall off. Apparently that was enough for Kiban, because he flashed a toothy sharp smile and nodded back. Aiko and her father disappeared from the school grounds shortly afterwards. Seeing one of his only friends gone, Naruto had made to putting his head back down.

"No, wait Big Sis. There's someone I have to talk to first."

Before he could notice, Kiban was standing before him on the swing. Normally Naruto would be able to hear the grass crunching and tell when someone was coming. This day was really weighing down on him if the loud Kiban could sneak up on him.

"I know you don't talk, much." Kiban started. He was always so blunt. "So you don't have to say nothing. I'll just talk, okay?"

Naruto nodded. This was standard practice between them.

"I never really liked you, Naruto," Kiban said. Naruto's eyes widened, but he didn't do anything else. It wasn't surprising, but typical. No one really liked him. "But you always hung onto Aiko. I couldn't be her friend without being yours too."

Naruto nodded. He had expected as much. He was a slow learner for school stuff, but he could read people pretty easily. They either hated you or pretended that they didn't.

Or they were Aiko, but Aiko was gone now.

"But, over time, you grew on me." Naruto, who had been expecting to be chewed out, looked up at Kiban. Now that had surprised him. "I mean, you're just a little kid, right? But everyone is always so hard on you. The big dogs in my house weren't even that hard on me when I was your age, and they were hard on everyone."

Not knowing what to say, Naruto just stared.

"I'm not good with words," Kiban continued, "so I'll just say it. I like your guts, Little Naruto. I started protecting you cause it made Aiko happy, but after a while I just couldn't stand other people making things harder for you than they already were." Kiban then went silent. He appeared to be choosing his words carefully.

"Listen, I won't be here any longer, but you will be. You have to be strong. Don't let them bully you, okay?" Naruto nodded. They would be bullying him just about as soon as Kiban left, but the scruffy boy didn't need to know that. "I will be a strong ninja, the strongest! I'll become the Hokage, then I'll come back for you, okay? Can you wait for me?"

Naruto nodded. That would be a very long time. He would be kicked out of the Academy if he failed again. He would probably be gone before Kiban even made it to Chuunin rank.

"Then this isn't goodbye, okay Little Naruto?" Kiban held out a fist. "See you later."

Naruto smiled. It wasn't his real smile, but he had to fool Kiban. "See you later," the blond said. Kiban smiled and nodded.

Then he was gone, and Naruto was alone on the school swing once more. He heard the remaining graduates and their parents as they whispered at him. The words didn't hurt, but they weren't nice to listen to either. With a huff, Naruto rose from his seat on the swing and walked away from the Academy.

There was no reason for him to be here anymore.


The Village Hidden in the Leaves was the biggest city in the Land of Fire. The Land of Fire was the biggest country in the Elemental Nations. The Elemental Nations was the biggest empire in the world.

Yet, for all of that, it hardly ever rained where Naruto lived. Yet today, like some kind of divine joke, it started to rain in the Village Hidden in the Leaves: the driest city in the Land of Fire. The Land of Fire was the driest country in the Elemental Nations, and so on.

Naruto found himself where he usually did whenever something happened that was beyond his control. He was alone beneath a tree watching the rain slide down the leaves above him on down to the ground. This tree was on the outskirts of the city, but not quite outside of its boundaries. It sat on a tall hill just far enough away from the buildings that Naruto could see over pretty much the entire Village.

The Academy, which was pretty close to the Monument, was a sight he avoided. The Monument, however, was not. It was a large, overbearing quartet of faces that overlooked the Village. Borne into the cliff that the village was situated under, it sported the stern faces of the Four Previous Hokage.

Naruto liked the Fourth Hokage the best. He looked like a hero. Would Kiban be up there one day, too? Naruto shrugged. The Hokage were none of his business. It's not like they had any real bearing on his life.

Instead Naruto let his eyes rove over the various buildings in the Village. Some were tall, like the Hokage Tower that dominated the center of the town. Others were small, like the post office where all the carrier doves flew, or the weapons shop that allowed him to take home some shuriken to practice with.

The girl there, her name was Tenten, had really pretty hair. She always smiled at him when he came in and sometimes gave him candy. Naruto loved going there, but with Tenten going to the Academy too, he never had enough time to spend with her. Her father obliged when he could, but he had a shop to run, so Naruto made sure not to disturb them too often.

No, the favorite small shop that the young blond liked to visit was definitely the Ramen Shop. Naruto couldn't pronounce the name of the shop yet, but he knew where to find it in the Village. Even though it was small, maybe the smallest of all the buildings in the village, it gave off this warmth that was hard to replace. The owners were these two nice people, a father and daughter. Whenever he went there they would smile at him and give him food.

Sometimes it would be all that he ate.

Naruto had wanted to go there to eat after school. He had wandered too much, however, and by the time that he realized that he was near the edge of the village it had started to rain. He couldn't run through the rain, not without getting absolutely wet. He didn't have a dryer, so he would be wet all night. He didn't want to catch a cold.

Naruto held out a hand into the rain. The droplets fell onto his fingertips hard and fast. It didn't rain often in The VIllage Hidden in the Leaves, but when it did, it rained hard. It had been raining for almost an hour now, and it didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

Naruto would miss the Ramen Shop today. He would have to eat tomorrow.

With a sigh, the young blond boy sat with his back against the tree. His stomach growled at him, but he closed his eyes and drowned out his hunger with the rhythmic pitter patter of the rain. It worked, well almost worked, and for a while Naruto thought that he could sleep there.

Then a voice called out to him.

"You're a pathetic runt," the voice said. It was deep, but oddly smooth. The baritone voice wasn't particularly loud, but it drowned out the din of the rain. "I was hoping that you would be more impressive by the time that I woke up. I can't say I'm particularly disappointed. You humans never live up to expectations."

Naruto, rather than be offended, simply tilted his head. He looked around himself, head darting left and right in order to find the person speaking to him. He saw no one under the tree but him, so he started looking over the village again.

"You're not going to find me," the voice said. Naruto looked around again. "I just said that you won't find me."

Rather than keep looking around, Naruto shrugged and sat back down.

"You go along with the flow too often, child," the voice said. "I was expecting some resistance. Your kind is typically confrontational."

Naruto shrugged again. He started to play with the dirt under his sandals.

"No one else is here. You can talk."

"Dun wanna," Naruto finally responded. Naruto wasn't sure how, but he could feel the voice's glee.

"Oh, so you can talk? Why don't you wanna?"

Naruto, instead of responding again, just shrugged his shoulders.

"Killjoy," the voice mumbled. "You'll talk to me eventually."

"Maybe," Naruto responded. He waited for a bit, but whoever it was that was talking to him wasn't talking anymore. Had he gone away? Probably. He seemed eager to talk to Naruto, but he wasn't Aiko, which meant that he was only pretending to like him.

Naruto hated those kinds of people the most.

With a sigh, Naruto stood up and walked out into the rain. It was still pouring hard, but staying here wasn't going to solve anything either. If he ran fast enough, maybe he could get back to his apartment.

Overhead, lightning lit up the sky.


When it rained in the Hidden Leaf, it was a solemn affair. Too used to the dry conditions, the people of Fire Country usually didn't have emergency conditions for a sudden downpour. As such, the streets were now empty. All of the citizens of the Hidden Leaf were now sequestered away inside some house or store and waiting out the storm.

Everyone, of course, except for Naruto.

The blond boy was walking rapidly through the streets. His orange shirt was soaked through, and so was his pants. His sandals made a plop plop plop sound as he rushed onward past roads and roads. His normally spiky hair was now matted down onto his head, and every inch of his body glistened from rainwater.

Naruto's face was deadpan. It was usually deadpan, but now it showed just a bit of discomfort.

"Stupid rain," Naruto mumbled. A barking sound echoed in his ears.

"Tell me about it."

Like each time the voice had done so before, Naruto ignored the voice's provocation. He wasn't sure where exactly the voice was to be able to be heard so clearly in this rain on this empty street, but he would ignore it. It would go away eventually.

"I'm not going anywhere, brat. Even if I could, you're the only brat in this hellhole worth talking to."

Naruto decided to ignore the voice. Turning a corner, the boy saw his apartment building up ahead. Finding renewed energy, the boy ran the last couple yards to his front door. He took the stairs two at a time, before darting down the hall. When he came to his door, he pulled out his keys and fumbled with the lock.

After a bit of fumbling, Naruto realized that his key wasn't fitting. Very faintly, both through walls and over the patter of the rain, the sound of his grouchy landlord cackling could be heard. She had changed his locks once more, and he would have to wait until the rain let up before he would even try to brave the way all the way to the Hokage Tower.

He was dripping rainwater onto the walkway floors. It was an outside walkway too, so it was cold too. Bracing his back against the door. Naruto felt himself get sleepy.

"Brat, don't go to sleep," the voice said. Naruto wanted to look for it, he did, but he was just so tired. Maybe he could just close his eyes for a second?

"Brat," the voice continued. It sounded like it was panicking. "I just told you not to go to sleep. You were out in the rain too long. Can't you feel yourself shivering?"

He couldn't. Actually, he couldn't feel anything at all. Except sleepy. He felt extremely sleepy. Against his will his eyes began to droop.

"Brat!" the voice yelled. "Keep your damn eyes open!"

Naruto didn't respond, not even with his thoughts. His eyes drifted closed, and he felt the tranquility of sleep wash over his body.

Then he felt blinding, overwhelming pain. Naruto screamed as something akin to lava bubbled all over his skin.

"I told you to stay awake, brat!" the voice said. "Look what you made me do!"

Naruto could indeed look at what was happening. Some weird, red liquid was bubbling out of his skin. It looked like a combination of some kind of jelly and water. It bubbled every so often, and every inch of it that touched him both burned and stung him.

"Force it down, boy!" the voice yelled. Naruto didn't know who it was, but he seemed concerned. Wasn't he the one to do this to him? "Don't question things! Just force the chakra back down!"

So that's what this is? Chakra? Wasn't chakra supposed to be warm and comforting? This chakra felt unbearably hot and painful.

"Listen brat, if you don't stop questioning things you're going to die. Just ignore the pain and push the chakra back!"

Ignore the pain? He was ten years old!

"I don't care! Push it back! You can do it!"

It hurt.

"Not as much as its going to hurt when you die."

Did things still hurt after death?

"I don't know? Maybe? Stop distracting me and push."

Naruto screamed. The red chakra was peeling away at his skin.

"Okay," the voice pleaded. "Maybe you don't know how to push chakra. I understand. This is your first time experiencing chakra. That's not your fault. I'm going to try something, okay? I want you to play close attention."

Naruto screamed once more. There was a bestial quality to it.

"Okay, maybe try to do it through the pain."

Naruto grit his teeth. The pain had by now spread over almost his entire body. It stretched over his entire body like a second skin, and soon he was expecting the lava-like chakra to engulf his head as well. Just as it reached his neck, however, it stopped.

"Kid," the voice gasped. It sounded to be in immense concentration. "do you feel that? Do you feel what's happening to the chakra?"

Naruto nodded. His throat was raspy from the screaming.

"I'm pulling it. I don't have time to explain but that chakra belongs inside of you." The voice then hesitated. "With me."

The chakra belonged inside of him. Wait, the voice was inside of him?

"Do you feel me pulling the chakra back in?" Naruto nodded. "I can't pull it back on my own. I'm going to need your help."

Naruto nodded again. He could feel the chakra pulling, and he tried to apply the sensation, but in reverse.

"That's it," the voice cooed. "I can feel the pull getting easier. Keep it up."

Naruto took a deep breath, then tried to latch onto the ethereal feeling of pain. Mentally he tried to will the pain down deeper, to a place under his skin. At first it was difficult, incomprehensibly so, but as he pushed it got easier.

"That's it, boy. Keep it up."

Naruto did. He pushed and pushed, until he was sure that his mind was giving out. After a while the pain subsided, and Naruto reluctantly opened his eyes. The lava chakra was gone, and instead he was left with slightly burnt skin.

"That was… interesting." The voice said. "Are you okay?"

Naruto shook his head.

"At least you're warm now."

Naruto nodded.

"Is that all I'm going to get out of you?"

Naruto shrugged. The voice laughed.

"I'll take it. For now, sleep. I'll make sure that you stay warm"

Naruto nodded. His eyes slowly closed, willingly this time, and for the first time in a while the boy felt calm going to sleep.

After a few minutes passed, the landlady unbolted her door and peeked out. The screaming that she heard chilled her to her bones, and as curious as she was, she could not move. Frozen to her chair, the landlady waited until the screaming ended.

She waited for ten minutes.

Now that it was over, the lady snuck out to where she imagined the source to be, only to find the scourge of her life. That blonde brat was sleeping outside his door. From the looks of it, his skin was burned and charred in places. Was that why he was screaming? Because someone had burned him?

"Good for nothing runt," the woman grunted. She reached down to him, only for a bubbly red substance to jump out of the boy's skin and burn her. She recoiled, and almost made to scream, before she realized that the red stuff wasn't attacking her.

It was protecting the boy.

The woman, old by anyone's standards, looked at the boy with a soft eye. "We did this to you, didn't we?" She reached down once more only to see the bubbly red substance swipe at her. "We pushed you to rely on the demon. I am sorry, child."

The lady made her way around the boy, careful not to disturb him in any way. Upon reaching his door, she pulled out the newly made key from her robe pocket and unlocked the door. After pushing it open, the lady turned to look at Naruto again.

"You're just a boy. Or a demon. You could be either for all I know."

Naruto hadn't responded, but the chakra that surrounded him receded just a bit.

"I don't know," the woman sighed. "But for the sake of my humanity I'm going to trust that you're a boy, just this once."

She reached down to pick up Naruto once more and, reluctantly, the red substance let her. Struggling only a little, the old lady carried Naruto inside and dropped him on the ratty old sofa in his living room. She put the key on his kitchen counter on the way out, and stopped at the open door.

"I don't trust you, demon," the old landlady said. "You killed a whole bunch of my friends." She then looked down at her leg. Even now she walked on it with a limp. "You took away my ninja career." The lady then looked back at the sleeping blond boy. "And now you're taking the life of an innocent boy. Or what used to be a boy. I don't know. But I'm going to give you a chance."

The old lady then slowly closed the door.

"Please don't make me regret my decision."

The sleeping Naruto didn't answer, but the bubbly red chakra fully receded back into his body.


Naruto awoke with a start. He was inside his apartment again.

"Are you awake, child?"

Naruto didn't respond. Instead, he got up and stretched. Last he remembered he was locked out of his house again.

"So we're doing the silent game again? That's fine. You were under a lot of stress last night, I understand." The voice then yawned. "Your new key is over there, by there way."

Naruto, somehow knowing where the voice was indicating, looked over to his kitchen counter and saw his new key sitting there.

"She delivered it last night after carrying you in here." The voice then went silent. "She seems to think that I am you."

"Who are you?" Naruto finally asked.

The voice was silent. It seemed to be thinking. Naruto didn't know how he knew that. "She seemed to think that you are a monster that attacked the Village ten years ago."

Naruto tilted his head. Something attacked the village ten years ago? Not drawing any answers, he walked into the kitchen. He pulled out the milk container and started drinking.

The voice grumbled. "She seemed to think that you were the Nine-Tailed Fox."

Naruto nodded. Everyone thought he was a monst-

The blond boy spit milk all over his floor.

"You're the Nine-Tailed Fox!" Naruto screamed.

"So you can speak!" the Fox yelled back. "I was starting to think that you were a mute!"

"You're the Nine-Tailed Fox!" Naruto repeated. The Fox scoffed.

"Yes, I'm the Fox. Are you done, yet?"

Naruto nodded. He hardly ever screamed, so doing so twice was enough to calm him down.

"Good. Now let's get down to business."

Naruto tilted his head.

"We're going training. That last time was a full power chakra cloak, and we couldn't handle that. But because we went into using my chakra so fast, you are now more susceptible to it. I can even manifest a bit of it outside of your body now." To prove its point, a tendril of chakra snaked out of Naruto's stomach. It waved at him before going back in. "I can control that one, though. It won't hurt you unless you piss me off."

Naruto made a note to never piss the fox off.

"I can control that much, but if you pull on the chakra, even unconsciously, I won't be able to stop all of it from harming you from the seal."

Naruto coughed.

"I'm sealed inside of you."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"You are a creepy, expressionless little boy. You know that right?" Naruto nodded. "Oh well. We have to prevent you from harming yourself if you accidentally pull on my power again. You can't even call on your own chakra yet."

Naruto nodded. The fox made sense.

"We leave to train now."

Naruto looked at his clock. It was Stupid O'Clock in the morning. Naruto shook his head rapidly.

"Let's get going!" a tendril of chakra burst out of Naruto's back and whipped him. Naruto squealed.


Naruto darted out the door. He grabbed his new key as an afterthought and scrambled out to the forest.

"We're going to start with one hundred sit ups, one hundred pull ups, one hundred squats, and one hundred kilometers of running. We'll increase it as you get better."

Naruto groaned. This was going to be a long week.

"Week? This is going on until you can handle my chakra. Maybe afterwards. Now move!" The fox then whipped him again for emphasis.

Naruto started running even faster. He ran past the landlady's door at speed. The old woman looked out her window.

"Shitty brat," the woman grunted. Regardless she had a smile on her face as she closed her door.

Little did anyone know that this was going to be the start of a reluctant legend.