Title: Confessions of Stone – Waiting Love
Author: Jade Hunter
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon, its characters and properties do not belong to me.
A.N: Yup, another Generals/Senshi fic from me. Along the same lines as CoS – Undoubted Love and CoS – Always Love.
Will you not say anything?
She pursed her lips, gazing up at him. It was a pleasant thing to be reminded of, that there were actually some men who were taller than her, though she knew a handful of women who were taller as well. He had always been taller, though by a few inches, and she had liked that.
I like your height as well, Zheyla, but that is not why you called me, I don't think, he said lightly.
"Makoto," she corrected automatically. "New life, new name."
He gazed sadly at her, a vague form of regret in his eyes as he confided, I don't remember my name, the new one, of my temporary form before I regained my memories.
"That's right," she realized. "You were reborn as well."
We were reborn, he confirmed. As was Beryl. And when she began her quest to open the seal that held Metallia, we Generals were starting our quest for our Prince. For Endymion.
She opened the seal, after gaining her memories through dreams. Before we knew what was happening, we had been summoned to her side…our memories were forced on us, and we became the Dark Kingdom's Generals once more, he replied.
She hesitated, but plunged ahead. "Why did you join her again? If you had your memories…"
He frowned, running a transparent hand through equally see-through hair. Because we had not known, back then, that our agreement with her had been completely binding…so binding, that no matter how many times we are reborn, our bodies will forever belong to Beryl.
"Beryl is dead," she protested. "Couldn't you…?"
That does not matter, he told her. It is only a temporary freedom for us. If she should ever be reborn, we would belong to her still. And there are other evils in the universe, as you know, who have similar powers to Beryl. It would only be a matter of time before they could control us. But we will not be taken from and turned against our Prince again – even if it means eternity in these stones, as these spirit forms…
There was a pause, filled with something akin to melancholy, but not quite, as there was determination and understanding mixed in as well.
"I would do the same, if it came down to it, for Serenity," Makoto admitted. "It's a worthy sacrifice."
A generous compliment, he smiled, coming from the Senshi of Protection herself.
She shrugged, saying, "I cannot deny the truth of the matter, so why try?"
He blinked, then stared at her for a moment, coming to a sudden realization. She was angry at him. She was furious, and she was hurt, which was a deadly combination; but she had not said anything, had not raged, as was her wont, and so he had not suspected until now. Normally, had he been gallant before, she would have blushed or laughed, depending on whichever mood she was in.
She had not laughed. She had not blushed. She had shrugged it off.
Yes, she was angry.
Still, he himself had never been one to mince words; You've never had any problems with expressing your feelings before, Makoto. You shouldn't start now – it's unhealthy to do so.
She laughed, throwing back her head fully, and he marveled at the pure and undiluted bitterness that coated her actions and tone.
"You're telling me what's healthy for me?" she asked, half-hysterically. "You?"
In her mind, there was the scene of him attacking her during the last battle, and Nephrite winced.
I know you're angry, he said soothingly.
"You don't know the half of it!" she told him calmly, which scared him more than anything else. "I'm not just angry. I'm furious. I'm so furious that I don't even know how to…" she struggled with herself for a moment, gathering her bearings, "I can't even express myself properly because I'm choking on my rage."
Still her tone was quiet, calm, collected, deadly.
Tell me, he begged her. Yell at me, scream, and throw things, if you prefer. Blame me. Condemn me. Hate me.
She laughed harshly again.
"Yeah, that would do me lots of good," she spat out. "I'll just run my voice hoarse, shatter all my possessions, and effectively do nothing for myself all the while making you feel better."
This isn't about me, he insisted.
"But it is," she whispered venomously. "It's all about you. Telling me to hate you, to let out my anger. You feel miserable because you betrayed me; you could never handle any responsibility for your actions, always running back to your precious stars."
He stared at her, stricken. You don't mean that.
"Is it too much for you? Too bad. You wanted me to express my self, well, here it is," she said, matter-of-factly. "Witness me express myself. And everything I've said is true, you know it. You can't take the guilt of your actions, because you know that you can't blame the stars this time."
He remained silent.
"Or did they know all?" she mocked. "Did they tell you that it was your destiny to join Beryl and turn against your Prince? To betray the woman you claimed to love?
That was more than he could take.
Enough! he cried out, and she subsided, trembling with anger. You can say all that you want about my actions, about the stars, even. But don't you ever imply that I never loved you! The only thing I was ever sure of was the fact that I loved you with all that I had.
"Loved me so much that you just leaped at the first chance to condemn me?" she demanded.
I loved you, he repeated forcefully. And I love you now. The stars have nothing to do with that.
"What do you mean?" she asked, finally, still simmering.
He smiled fondly at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that familiar fashion, and she felt her anger abate. She had never been able to stay angry at him for long, and now was no different.
When I first met you, I consulted the stars on if my feelings for you were true, he told her freely. They never answered me. For a while, I tried to speak to them, to hear them, but they refused to say anything to me if the topic of my question was you.
She urged him to continue.
For the first time in a long time, I was on my own about something. I didn't know what to do, and I waited for guidance. But none came, and the more time I spent with you, the more I was sure that I loved you. It was only a little while before I knew that I didn't need the stars to tell me anything about you or my feelings for you. I didn't need them.
He reached out and brushed her bangs out of her face with the wind that followed in the wake of his phantom hand.
I had you, he smiled. You were my Starlight.