"I really couldn't wait to write this. Seriously I wanted to write this the very next day, I posted the last chapter of No Escape but I managed to hold myself off until now when I literally lost my restraint and just had to get this out of me. The first two or three chapters are going to revolve around the time exactly where I left off in "No Escape" and after that I'm going to skip ahead a year.
Anyways I hope you guys enjoy it. Let me know what you think through your reviews because seriously your feedback matters a lot to me and I don't think I can write without it."
Harry sat on the bed, the covers pulled up to his chest. He held the parchment close to his lips as he stared blankly into empty space. That was the state in which the twins had found him. They were saying something but Harry was unable to hear anything over the sound of his screaming heart. He wondered why he wasn't screaming. He wasn't even crying. How could Voldemort do this to him? Maybe he hadn't reassured him enough last night? Maybe he should have told him in more clearer words that he had wanted him. He felt one of the twins take the parchment from his hand but he was too far gone to care. His hands moved up to his hair as he clutched them. What had he done wrong? What mistake had he made? He needed to know. He wanted Voldemort to tell him so that he could correct it and have him back.
Harry felt the twins hugging him close but no amount of physical comfort could numb the agonizing pain he felt in his heart and his soul. Nothing could ever make this right. Nothing except for Voldemort. He needed him just like he needed oxygen to survive. He would die without him, he was certain of it. That was when he felt the twins' tears on his bare skin. They were crying. And that brought Harry out of his self-pity. This pain was going to be a part of him until he found Voldemort and he would endure it on his own. He wasn't going to let anyone suffer with him because it wasn't theirs to suffer. It was his and he was going to bear it alone. He wrapped his arms around them,
"Stop crying, guys. Do you see me crying?"
The looked up at him and the suffering in their brown eyes strengthened Harry's resolve. He swore that he would never let them suffer again. He smiled faintly and wiped away their tears,
"Ssshhh, it's alright. Everything's alright."
Harry hugged them tighter and felt their arms around him tighten as well. They were lost for words but they conveyed their emotions through their embrace and Harry wished he had been able to convey his to Voldemort last night. He had failed. Last night he had been planning a lifetime with Voldemort inside his head and now, now he was just thinking about how he was going to live without him. Fate was cruel and it seemed even crueller towards him. Happiness was never meant for him. He was never destined for it.
He wanted to be alone for a while before he would have to reappear in front of everyone and take control of everything that Voldemort had left him. Hogwarts and The Ministry. He had never thought he would have to manage them since he had thought that Voldemort would recover and take the reins. He had no idea how he was going to do it. Harry was starting to feel overwhelmed, the emotions combined with the heartache and the expectation to perform was beginning to get to him and he spoke,
"I need to shower and get dressed. I'll see you guys in a bit."
The twins withdrew and looked at him with concern. Harry smiled to the best of his abilities again,
"I'm not going to drown myself. Don't worry."
The deadpan look in the twins' eyes made Harry pat their shoulders,
"I'm fine. I'll be fine."
The walked out of the room wordlessly but Harry knew that they were standing right outside the door so that they could stop him in case he tried to do anything reckless. They shouldn't have worried because Harry was over being suicidal. He remembered how desperately he had tried to escape from Voldemort and now in the end it had been Voldemort who had escaped from him. Harry rose up to his feet steadily and walked to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and stepped under it. Harry couldn't stop his fingers from tracing over every spot that Voldemort had kissed last night. Everywhere he had touched him felt sacred and Harry wondered why Voldemort hadn't felt that. His hand moved to the bite mark on his shoulder and he squeezed it just to feel the pain again. Harry leaned against the tiled wall and kissed the bruises on his wrists. He never wanted them to heal. These marks were the last thing that Voldemort had left on him. He never wanted them to fade.
Harry stared up at the tiled ceiling. He wished he would just cry but it seemed his heart wanted to hold onto those tears as well. He wanted to hold onto every last memory of Voldemort. No, he wasn't going to live by memories. He was going to find him. He had to find him and bring him back. But it seemed that, that would never happen. He would never know until he gave it a try. So, he made up his mind and finished his shower.
He dressed himself in all black, it seemed fitting because that's how he felt inside. He was desperately searching for a golden thread of hope to grab onto but there was none so far and until he found it, his world was going to be nothing but black with hopelessness, pain, misery, regret and despair.
As Harry combed his shoulder length hair, he remembered when he had wanted to get them cut. Now, he knew that he would never cut them. Voldemort had liked them long. He had combed them, touched them, stroked them and pulled on them so many times and cutting them would mean, losing those memories. Those memories were all he had now. He wasn't going to lose them too.
When he stepped out of the room. He found the twins leaning back against the wall in front of him. Harry watched them relax visibly at the sight of him and he smiled his well rehearsed smile. The smile Voldemort had taught him when he had taken him to that meeting, where he had made allies. It seemed to work like a charm because Harry saw a faint smile tug at the twins' lips,
"So, what's on my agenda today?"
The twins exchanged a meaningful glance,
Harry shook his head,
"Skip that. What's next?"
The twins' frowned,
"You can't skip breakfast."
Harry stepped closer to them,
"Who said anything about skipping breakfast. I'll have that later. Right now, I'm excited to see Bella's latest conquest."
Harry knew he was lying through his teeth. He had no intentions of eating and he certainly wasn't excited about going to the ministry. But he had to do this. He had to put up this façade of wellness because wallowing in his misery would make everyone around him miserable and he had absolutely no intentions of doing that. This was his only purpose of life right now. He was going to make sure that his friends and his new family had every joy he could give them and to protect them from sorrow and grief.
Check out my new fanfic named "Ensnared". It's actually a Harry Potter Version of "The Beauty and the Beast" Let me know what you guys think. Just follow the link below or visit my profile. Looking forward your feedback
If you have the time, then check out my other Harry Potter fanfic labelled "Desperation" Just visit my profile or click on the link below,
Check out my new fanfic named "Elusion". Let me know what you guys think. Just follow the link below or visit my profile. Looking forward your feedback