Disclaimer: All characters from Stargate SG1 belong to someone else. No, really.
Hey, I'm as surprised as you are.

Many thanks to Dena for Beta'ing this one for me. We're not worthy.
Theoretically…

Sam Carter had reached the stage where she was boring even herself.

She knew this particular speech off by heart, having given it every time they discovered a planet housing Naquadah. The only things that changed were the basics: like the name of the planet, its binary code, where the Naquadah was, etcetera.

So in fact, this speech was actually a template for pretty much everything.

Not that this was a bad thing, you understand. It saved time for one thing, which meant she had more time to focus her attention on other, more important business – like running countless tests on the Naquadah Generators, for example.

Man, she was dull.

It wasn't really her fault though. Sam had been handpicked to work for the Stargate programme by the best the Country had to offer because of her above average intellect and keen military prowess. Without wanting to seem overly immodest, she was also the most knowledgeable when it came to the scientific elements of the programme and had subsequently been given authority over pretty much everyone on the base; with regards to anything bought back through the Stargate – viruses and diseases notwithstanding. That would be Janet's area.

Over the past six years Sam had kept her private life (what little there was) pretty much close to herself, and because of this, Sam was convinced that over the past six years the people she worked with had come to peg her as some kind of Ice Queen. Not that she was rude or anything; she always made a concerted effort to get along with everyone at the base. It was just that she never accepted the offers to go out to bars with her co-workers, and generally preferred to stay in her lab and concentrate on her work. She rarely even agreed to hang out with the members of her own team. That was why, she decided as her mouth continued to generate more mundane facts on the benefits of weapons grade Naquadah, Sam decided she was going to take up the invitation and accept the offer of attending the alumni party being held that very night in the conference hall at the Colorado Springs Academy that night.

Yep. Major Samantha Carter was officially going to get herself a life.

But first, she just had to get through this briefing and another two-hour presentation on Theoretical Astrophysics first.

Pointing in the general direction of the Overhead Projector situated in front of her, Sam's mouth was currently explaining about the quality of life for the inhabitants of P4Y735. She told her glassy-eyed audience about how the main city was really nothing more than a bunch of stone walled buildings containing only one or two rooms at most, and how the soil was too acidic to grow much vegetation. All the while in her head, Sam's brain was mentally raiding the contents of her wardrobe, deciding which of her evening gowns she was going to wear. Of the 3 or 4 dresses she had stashed in her room, any could loosely be considered appropriate for formal attire, Sam mentally decided on two floor length numbers.

But the blue or the black? Hmm, decision time.

She as she had just managed to dredge up a mental image of herself in both dresses and was weighing up the pro's and con's of each, when suddenly she felt a shiver run down her spine causing the tiny hairs on her arms and back of her neck to stand on end.

And that's when she knew. She just *knew* he was watching her.

Words continued to leave her mouth, but her heart grinned stupidly. The Colonel was watching her. *He* was watching *her*.

Makes a nice change, she thought as she quickly turned her small smile into a neutral expression whilst simultaneously giving her eyes the specific order to not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES look back at him.

She looked back at him.

Lucky for her he was too busy staring at her legs to meet her fiery gaze; which, whilst getting her off the hook, did cause her to lift one leg up and self-consciously scratch the back of the other with the tip of her capped boot.

Having a quick mental word with her limbs about their serious lack of self-control, she quickly blinked and focused resolutely on Teal'c before he…

Wha'? Wait a minute...

What's up with Teal'c?

For the first time in six years someone had managed to make her stall during her 'Benefits of Naquadah' speech and quite frankly, Sam was astounded. She couldn't believe it. Of all the things she had seen and done in her time working at Stargate Command, she never thought she would see the day Teal'c would meditate during a briefing.

Actually, it was quite insulting.

Actually, it was quite sad.

That's it. She decided resolutely as she continued her spiel, realising immediately that now would be a good time to wrap things up; she was definitely going out tonight. In fact, she was going to go out every night. She was going to find out exactly where it was that the girls on base go at the weekends and she was going to keep going back until every member of staff in that bar knew her by name, rank and serial number. Hell, she was going to stay there until they gave her her own stool to sit on. That'd show 'em.

Goodbye Ice Queen, she thought with a grin, Hello Party Girl!

The trouble was, she didn't really *want* to be a party girl. And what's more, she actually *liked* being considered studious. She *was* studious for crying out loud. God, she had been hanging around the Colonel too much. Not that this was necessarily a bad thing…

Her shoulder slumped in defeat at the not-so-momentous realisation that she was, in fact, a nerd and she grudgingly accepted that she would never be considered a party animal. Still, she thought, perking up a little, she would go tonight and she would still have a damn good time.

Once again she became aware of someone looking at her. The same someone in fact. And this time it wasn't just her spine that tingled. That she could have coped with. No, *this* time she had another, altogether more surprising reaction than just a few hairs standing on end. Sam was more than a little embarrassed (not to mention aroused) to feel her nipples tighten as well. Apparently when her brain yelled 'Attention' to her arm hairs, her breasts decided to join in as well.

Her cheeks flushed slightly as her body responded to the Colonel's unrepentant gaze and her arms rose automatically, intent on covering her libidinous reaction. She stopped herself just in time however. Realising that if she were to cover her chest he would know that she was aware of his roving eyes she moved her arms around in vague gesticulation as her speech came to its natural conclusion.

Teal'c had timed himself perfectly, she thought with a wry grin as the Jaffa subtly roused himself from his Kelnoreem and focused once again on his surroundings. Jonas was sat upright, gulping down the dregs of his eighth cup of black coffee and General Hammond was blinking furiously as if to try and wake up his eyes.

"Does anybody have any questions?" he asked, stifling a yawn as he looked around at his flagship team.

Everyone shook their heads in silent negativity….everyone except Jack, that is, who had apparently become rather engrossed in Carter's lips.

"Colonel?" The General's curiosity had got the better of him. "Are you okay?"

Everyone turned to stare at Jack who raised his head to meet Carter's questioning eyes.

Sam could feel the electricity in the room crackle between them as his normally tanned cheeks turned a pinkish-red with embarrassment.

He was the first to break eye contact and Sam sighed in relief as they both focussed their attention on the General, both breathing a sigh of relief as he gave the requested permission to return to the planet in question and rose to leave.

Payback was the first thought to cross the Major's mind as she watched Teal'c and Jonas leave the meeting room. If only she had been prepared for his blatant staring she would have been able to handle it better – perhaps even do a bit of pointed ogling herself.

Sam knew from experience that revenge was a dish best served cold and decided it would worth her while if she just sat back and bided her time until the perfect opportunity arose.

Then she remembered. The alumni party.

Unfortunately he shot out the door just as she opened her mouth to invite him and she was forced to give chase, desperately calling his name as he skidded down the hallways practically knocking SF's over left, right and centre.

Then her saviour was there, heading her way.

She waved frantically at the base CMO and pointed at the Colonel's retreating form. Janet nodded almost imperceptibly and grabbed O'Neill just as he made it to the door of the men's bathroom.

Finally Sam caught up and thanked her friend as she placed a stilling hand on the Colonel's arm. In reply the doctor just winked conspiratorially and walked on towards the General's office.

"So, what did you think about my ideas sir?" she asked pleasantly.

The Colonel squirmed in discomfort. "Ideas?"

Grinning, she continued. She had just figured out exactly how to get her revenge. "Yeah, the ideas I bought up in the meeting."

"Meeting?" This could get irritating. But still, she kept smiling. "You weren't listening to a word of what I was saying."

That got him. "I was too!" he exclaimed. "You wanna mine for Naquadah on P4Y…whatsit."

Putting all her six weeks of childhood acting lessons to good use, she feigned astonishment "So you *were* listening!" she said.

The Colonel smiled indulgently. Apparently of the impression that he had got away with it.

Of course, he hadn't.

"Funny," Sam continued, unable to suppress a grin whilst wondering whether or not she could be court-martialled for discussing her anatomy with her CO. "And there I was thinking you'd been to busy staring at my breasts to listen to what I had to say."

His initial response was incredulous. "No, of course I heard you." He announced quickly. But then his face turned an interesting shade of red as his brain caught up with his mouth and his defiant speech turned into incomprehensible stuttering.

Initially, she had intended to feign anger at his blatant letching, but his response to her gentle teasing had Sam grinning from ear to ear and she changed tactics to suit the mood. "Seeing as you enjoyed my presentation so much sir, perhaps you'd like to attend the lecture I'm giving on Theoretical Astrophysics at the academy this afternoon." She had to admit that the prospect of giving another speech whilst in the company of her very attractive, very *masculine* Commanding Officer had her stomach turning somersaults, but she still managed to keep eye contact as if it was all just an innocent offer.

Apparently she had rendered him momentarily speechless and when he finally got his voice back it was little more than a croaky whisper.

"I dunno Carter, I've got a lot of reports to catch up on, I…"

Sam suppressed a knowing smile and instead nodded understandingly. "Maybe next time."

"Yeah, next time. " His posture visibly relaxed, aware that he had got away with it.

And…

…now to play her ace.

"Pity," she continued; heart pounding in her chest as she walked away, resolutely refusing to make eye contact. Nonchalantly she called out over her shoulder, "There's an alumni evening party I've been invited to, and I got this new dress that's *really* low cut…"

She turned the corner and sagged against the wall, taking deep breaths to slow her racing heart. And then she grinned.

Proverbial Butterflies still swarmed in her stomach as she raised her wrist to eye level. Looking at her watch, she mentally gave him ten minutes to bash his head repeatedly against the nearest wall before he accepted her offer.

Oh, yeah. She knew him too well.

With that in mind and a spring in her step, Sam Carter headed towards her lab.

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