This is a companion story to my other fic Luna Lovegood and the Dark Lords Diary and will depict the events of the secret potions club mentioned in chapter 40. Members are Snape, Luna, Fred and George.
You don't necessarily need to read that story to understand this one as this will be less plot and more of a crack fic. It will line up with the events in LLDLD where it needs to however. First chapter is mostly Snape POV as I wanted a different perspective from the main story, this may change from chapter to chapter, I admit I don't know yet how this story will shape up.
Anyone who is already reading LLDLD and came here from there, thanks for coming and I hope you enjoy. :D
Snape lined up the cauldrons in a neat row across the top of the desk.
There were four.
One for Luna, one for each of the twins and one for himself.
He usually didn't join in with the actual brewing during lessons, mostly because he was too busy making sure none of his students blew anything up, but with such a small group of reasonably capable students he figured it was safe enough. He was behind on several of his own projects anyway thanks to all the time he had to sacrifice brewing for the werewolf. He still thought it was a terrible idea to have Lupin teaching here but Dumbledore was as stubborn as ever and refused to be swayed once his mind was set on something.
The promise shown by the Lovegood girl was something of a novelty to the Potions Master. He hadn't met a student with that level of ingenuity in Merlin knows how long. On top of that discovering that the Weasley twins of all people had their own hidden talents in his subject had been an odd but not necessarily unpleasant surprise.
All in all it had been an interesting week.
The three kids were due to arrive any moment now.
He had decided to run the club on Thursday evenings when all three students and himself were available and unlikely to be missed too much by their peers if they disappeared for a few hours. The twins last lesson before this was on the first floor, Lunas was on the fourth so the boys arrived first.
"Ok Professor, we wanted to discuss some things before we start" George began.
Snape raised an eyebrow, that was oddly confrontational.
Fred quickly cut in with his portion "We've been thinking about this ever since it was mentioned and we have a few queries"
"We want to understand your motives for starting this club" George clarified.
"Other than encouraging promising students in the pursuit of my subject you mean?" Wasn't that obvious?
"You have plenty of promising students." Fred pointed out "and you never started a club for them. Why us? Why Luna? Why do you even care if we're encouraged when it's obvious you hate all your students anyway."
Severus let the questions sink in then shook his head. "I do not hate my students." He told them honestly "I have never hated any of my students."
"You hate us." Fred gestured between himself and George. His brother nodded in agreement. "You've always made that clear"
"I get frustrated with you because you never actually seem to listen in my lessons, you just go off trail and do your own thing. That doesn't mean I hate you."
"You almost failed us last year." Fred pointed out defensively.
Snape scoffed at that "Almost failed you? You are the only students I've ever passed who handed in a different potion to the one you were supposed to be making. That I was even willing to grade you based on the merits of that potion should be enough to convince you. If I hated you I could have justifiably failed you on the spot."
Oh." They both thought back and remembered how they had begun devising a plan for an itching potion for their planned joke shop half way through the exam and began brewing a prototype instead of the fever remedy they were meant to be making. In retrospect they probably shouldn't have handed it to Snape.
He had handed it back with a passing grade and even comments on improvements which they had used for the second batch.
"Right." They conceded finally "Thanks for that actually."
The pair of them were quiet for a moment before a flash of inspiration stuck George.
"You hate Hermione." He insisted "She told us you always ignore her when she puts her hand up."
Snape rolled his eyes at that one.
"She rarely puts it down. The other students need a chance to learn too sometimes. They can't do that If Miss Granger is the only student contributing to lessons."
The twins went quiet again, reluctantly accepting the explanation as they wracked their brains for a student they could confidently say Snape hated.
"What about Harry?"
"Potter? I hated his father and dislike him." He admitted "I do not hate the boy though. I have looked out for him just as much as any other teacher in this school"
Another moment went by in silence, this was harder than they had expected.
"Ok, I've got one! Neville. You absolutely hate Neville I know you do." George declared.
"Everyone in the school knows you hate Neville." Fred nodded. They both looked smug, certain that they had proven their point.
For the first time in this conversation Snape actually smiled "I was unbearably irritated with Longbottom at first but have recently had a change of heart and now realise his true value."
The boys glanced between each other, neither sure if they trusted that look on the Potion Masters face "True value?"
"Yes" Snape declared, smile widening in a way that would have been normal on anyone else but seemed disturbingly out of place on him "He's going to make me rich."
Another nervous glance between them "How?"
"I'm writing a book inspired by him that I believe will sell quite well."
"What book?" Fred asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.
"'101 ways to weaponize potions previously thought to be harmless.' I'm up to 43 so far."
The room went quiet for a moment, twins startled into silence. Was that….? Did….did Severus Snape the dungeon bat himself honestly just make a joke? Or maybe he was serious? He couldn't be serious could he?
Either way it was funny.
A slow smile lifted both boys faces and quickly twisted into a laugh, in no time whatsoever both were doubled over laughing. Snape was far more restrained but still couldn't help holding a smile of his own which was honest and relaxed.
"You know what Professor?" George chuckled once he had righted himself again "You're alright."
"Yeah" Fred agreed. "It's pretty cool seeing this other side of you. I think this club is going to be fun"
"As long as you don't go around telling people I'm secretly a nice guy" Snape warned them, only half-jokingly.
George snorted "Professor no one would believe us even if we did."
Later that day Snape watched as Neville added the crow's talon to the cauldron and the off-pink gloop that was meant to be a lime green headache remedy, wondering where the boy had even found that in his store and why he thought it was supposed to go in this potion when it was nowhere on the ingredients list.
As the toxic fumes began to fill the room the bemused Potions Master ushered the rest of the students out and quickly followed, covering his nose with the sleeve of his robes to avoid inhaling the pungent cloud. Once the fumes cleared and the panic had died down he took a moment to scribble the process the boy had followed into his notebook with a gleeful smile.
44 and counting.
"This stuff is gold."
I had intended to include Luna in the first chapter but it took on a life of its own and wound up being more Snape, Fred and George focused. Luna will be in the next chapter I promise.