Thank you so much Jenjoremy for the amazingly fast beta job. You dropped everything, and I love you for it. Thank you also Tempestuous Ocean for helping me work through the original idea. You're an absolute star.
This story happened to me like a few others have. I saw the last episode and I couldn't handle the ending. Sam's look of guilt when they saw Lucifer behind him. It was wrong. He would never have made that choice. He said yes to Lucifer again, and I can't imagine anything tearing him apart more. I couldn't sleep last night thinking about it, and I couldn't write this morning with that in my head. I had to do something about it. This story was born. I am not sure how long it will be as I am aiming to have it finished before Thursday, but it's at least 3 chapters for sure. I have plans people.
If Sam's choice felt wrong to you, too, this is the story for you. I hope you enjoy.
Clowns or Midgets xxx
Sam turned away from the rabid, snarling vampires, held back by Lucifer's will alone, and looked into the face of the being he hated above all others. Fury rolled in his chest at Lucifer's smug expression. He had seen it so many times in the Cage and it had seared itself in his memories along with the horror of what had happened to him there. "What do you want?" he shouted.
"I want what you already have," Lucifer said, sounding reasonable and sane, a stark contrast to the cruel madman Sam knew him to be. "A relationship with my son. Okay, there was a time when I'd just, you know, grab him, but I've grown."
Sam scoffed. "Yeah, sure you have." Lucifer was unable to achieve growth. He was trapped in the mindset of the spoiled infant he had been at the time of his fall. Sam knew this better than anyone. He had suffered under him for almost two centuries, and he knew Lucifer could never change.
"I have Samuel," Lucifer said. "I want my son, and you're going to help me."
It was no surprise that Lucifer wanted Jack, but it was a point of fear. Jack was good, purely good right now, but what influence would Lucifer have over him? Would Jack lose the part of himself that made him more human than angel? The part of him that came from his mother?
"How?" Sam asked, angry with himself for even asking the question. It was the human part of him that asked. He could hear the vampires behind him, snarling and wanting nothing more than to sink their teeth into his flesh. He didn't want to die again.
"Well, I don't think he'll give me a chance unless I come bearing gifts." He pressed a finger to Sam's chest. "Yes. That's you. Look, Sammy, I'm not asking you to like it, or like me; all I'm asking is that you acknowledge the truth. That I was the one that brought you back to life, and I was the one that lifted you from the darkness and into the light. Okay? Apocalypse world. Michael's armies. Do you really think you and your family can handle that alone? You need me."
Sam was torn. He could be right. Michael in this place was an overpowering threat. He had destroyed this world, but was that what mattered? This world was already doomed. They hadn't come to save it. They had come for their mother and Jack. They were the mission. It was already complicated by the fact Lucifer's grace was no longer keeping the rift open. They had to rely on Rowena and themselves to find a way to do that.
"And what if I say no?" Sam asked, although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer to his question.
Lucifer sighed. "All right. Let me just make this really, really easy—easy enough for even you to understand, Sammy. I'm getting to Jack. One way or another. The only question is, you coming with, or that?" He pointed at the vampires that were fighting against his influence to be free to attack. "Your move champ. Yes or no?"
Perhaps if he had framed it in any other way than that, Sam would have been swayed. He would have said yes for all the wrong reasons. He would have justified it as him saving rather than giving in. He would be there to protect Jack from Lucifer, to find a way to ground him in goodness. He would have seen Dean and Mary again, to be with them the way he had desperately wanted to. He would be there to fight. He would have been another mind put to use in the fight to find a way to get themselves home now they didn't have Lucifer.
But he had said the wrong thing. Yes or no. Sam's answer was immediate in his mind at the question. He could never say yes to that creature again. He couldn't let himself. A yes had destroyed him before. A yes had almost destroyed the entire world. In that moment he didn't think of all the good things he could do by going with Lucifer, even though it came at a risk. He just thought of what it had cost him before and what he couldn't allow to happen this time.
Lucifer looked incredulous. "No? You're seriously saying no to this? You do know what this means, right? I will leave you here to be destroyed by those vamps, and they look pretty hungry to me. You will be killed, and this time I guarantee there will be no miracle rescue. You will die, Sam!"
"No!" Sam said brutally. "I won't help you! Not this time. This time I am making the right choice. I am trusting the right person."
"Who?" Lucifer asked.
"Myself. If this is time my time to die, I'll die. I made my peace with that a long time ago. I cannot make peace with doing anything for you."
Lucifer threw his hands up. "Fine. You asked for this, Sam. When I do find Jack, and your family, I will tell them about this. They will know you had the chance to live for them and you chose not to. How do you think they'll feel about that?"
"They will understand," Sam said. He was confident of that. Dean knew how he felt, and he would never want Sam to deal with Lucifer. He would know Sam couldn't do that after what had happened at the archangel's hands before.
Lucifer's eyes glowed red as they fixed on Sam. A cruel smile curved his lips as he said, "Goodbye, Sammy," and snapped his fingers. He disappeared just as a cry of triumph sounded behind him and the vampires flew at him.
Sam knew fighting wasn't an option. Flight was useless, too, but he couldn't not try. Dean would expect him to try, need him to, and he wasn't the only one. Sam wasn't just fighting for his brother now. He was fighting for Mary, Jack and Castiel, too. He had to die knowing he had done what he could to be with them without sacrificing the right thing.
He made it a few feet into the cavern he'd been dragged from before, toward the dim light, before a weight fell on his back and forced him forward. There was a searing pain in his throat as teeth bit into him and he felt his blood being pulled out of him and into the vampire's mouth. It was sickening, and he wanted to stop, to get it over with, to die, but love for his family pushed him on.
With the vampire still clamped onto him, he dragged himself forward toward the light. It felt right to him that he die with sunlight on him. To be a part of the world, not a man dying in darkness. More weight fell on him and forced the air from his lungs in a pained huff.
Teeth sank into the right side of his throat, and he felt the drain again, but there was something different to how it had felt before. He was being fed upon but he still felt strong. He should be unconscious or dead, but he didn't feel the overpowering weakness that usually came with blood loss. He felt angry. He didn't understand it, but he wasn't going to take it for granted. Something was powering him and he was going to use it.
He raised his head and tried to force himself up. He dislodged one vampire from him, but another soon took its place, knocking him down again and expelling the air from his lungs. He turned his head to the side to draw air, and felt the vampire pressed against him. It felt foul, sickening, but still he lived.
He shook his head in an attempt to dislodge the vampire, and saw a glint at the edge of the light cast from above. Without thinking, Sam reached for it with a shaking hand, and his fingers touched cool metal. Disbelievingly, Sam dragged it towards him, cutting his fingertips in the process. It was his machete; the blade that had fallen when he'd first been attacked.
Sam felt a surge of hope as he struggled to reach the handle. He would not survive this. He was clearly only alive by the adrenaline that rushed through his veins, but he was going to use it. He was going to fight until the end, however soon that came. He would perhaps be saving someone else that used this tunnel after he was gone. Maybe they'd find his body and see the man with the bodies of the vampires he hoped to kill, and they would know he was the one that made it possible for them to get through. That seemed a worthy task to end with.
Gripping the handle, he arched his back and toppled the vampires that were clinging to him. He felt them fall away, their teeth tearing into him as their grip on his throat broke. He crawled forward and then scrambled to his feet with his back pressed against the wall. The vampires he'd dislodged, their lips wet with Sam's own blood, stood opposite, crouch and ready to spring, and Sam took the split second to breath in and prepare.
The two that had just fed from him sprang and Sam swept the blade through the air. One vampire fell as its head was parted from its body, but the second was on Sam. Its teeth bared, it leaned into Sam's throat again, and Sam slashed with the blade.
Sam gave a triumphant roar as the blade cut into its chest, and the vampire pulled back with a strangled cry of pain. He corrected his aim and cut off its head, but there was already another vampire taking the dead one's place. Sam stopped focusing on ending them and just dedicated himself to keeping them at bay with slashes from the machete. The metal found chests and arms, faces and shoulders, and in one lucky case, a neck which was severed.
Sam didn't understand how he was still alive, but he wasn't going to squander the opportunity by thinking about it too much. He continued to fight against them constantly, his heart pounding in his ears and his breaths coming in pants. They didn't retreat from his onslaught, but some stayed further back. If they weren't rabid, Sam would have thought they were waiting for him to exhaust himself before attacking again, but their eyes showed no intelligence, only hunger.
Sam didn't feel exhausted though. He felt strong and alive, more than adrenaline could account for. Something more was happening to him; he was powered by something that wasn't human.
He took the head from another vampire with a lucky swing, and the one that came to take its place stumbled. Sam used the moment to cut at its neck, and two pieces dropped. One less vampire to attack. The tunnel floor around him with becoming crowded with bodies and wet with blood, some of it Sam's own. One vampire got close enough to sink its teeth into Sam again, and he jabbed down with the machete, cutting into its groin and spilling a freshet of blood. It lurched away and Sam used its capitulation to cut off its head.
He looked at the vampires still facing him and realized their number were far fewer now; in fact, there were only a handful left. Some of them bore the bloodied gashes of Sam's blade, but there were two that were unharmed. They seemed to be the ones that had retained some modicum of intelligence and control, as they weren't the ones attacking straight away.
This time, he didn't wait for the vampires to come at him; he rushed forward with a cry of anger. They collided and Sam was slashing again. A haze of fury descended over him and he fought with everything he had to win. He was fighting to live. For Dean and Mary, Jack and Castiel, he was going to give it all, and possibly win. By some miracle he was on his feet, and he wasn't going to give up.
He didn't realize it had happened until he swung the machete through the air again and met no resistance. The haze seemed to drain away and he looked around him. The floor was littered with pieces of vampires, but there were none standing. He had killed them all.
"I did it," he breathed, and then his voice became a bellow. "I did it!"
He had never faced a worse fight, and he had come out alive. Even defeating Lucifer in his mind had felt less than this. He was fighting for control then, control that would enable him to throw himself into the hole forever. This time he had been fighting for his life, for the people he loved, and he had won.
"How?" he asked the silent cavern. "How did I win?"
He brought a hand up to wipe at his face and realized it was shaking. He didn't understand. He was alive, but he shouldn't be. He shouldn't have been able to fight like he did. He shouldn't even have been conscious with the amount of blood the vampires had taken from him. Whatever had happened, he'd had help. He wondered if it was God. Had He seen what had happened to Sam and given him the strength he needed? He hadn't come when Dean had prayed for Him to save Castiel, but maybe He had come for this.
However it had happened, Sam was alive and he needed to move. Dean was out there, Mary, Jack and Castiel, too, and Sam needed to see them. More, he needed to warn them about Lucifer. They had to know he was there, too.
He stepped over the bodies around him and picked up his flashlight from where it had fallen when he'd been attacked by the vampires. He gave the bodies one last look of loathing and then he headed along the tunnel.
He was going to find Dean and the others. He was going to tell them about Lucifer, warn them, and then he was just going to look at them, see the faces he never thought he would see again.
The faces of the people he loved.
So… How was in more?
I think I will be able to sleep tonight having got this out of my system.
Until next time…
Clowns or Midgets xxx