For all wrong reasons
While drinking the last drops of cheap wine, I can't help but notice the infinite melancholy in James' eyes. He's sunk in thoughts, probably recalling his gruesome past.
I once caught him inconspicuously hiding his scars. Ugly scars, hurling the blatant injustice; or maybe, he's thinking about our uncertain future, the unknown destiantion of our individual journey. He lowers his head, stifling a sigh. I do have a temper and I tend to be moody at times, but if someone asked me about my caring and soft side, I would definitively point at James. He's good-hearted and reliable. He's a faithful man, a man who doesn't deserve to be treated with severity and whiplashes. I'm not entirely innocent. There have been situations where I wanted to launch him into outer space, but being up to mischief without my partner would be a physical impossibility. We make eye contact and I'm able to raise a smile from him. „What's up?" James asks me, refreshing his drink. The mere sound of his voice makes my flesh crawl. His almost hoarse voice prompts deep and unfamiliar feelings. I stand up, blazing the trail to his chair, sitting in his lap.
She sits down and wraps her arms around my neck. I feel uncomfortable in the first place, but there is this unrestrained urge to explore her with every single fibre of my body. Why does she turn me on? Jessie smells like lilies, tender blossoms. Neither I, nor she can be proud of our yesterdays. From what I know about her past, she allowed strangers to break her heart, to impose on her simplicity and to drop her like a hot potato. „No one is going to hurt you anymore," I want to look squarely into her eyes and make that promise. „If I had the chance, I would right all the things they did wrong," I whisper. She bends over me, her lips brushing my cheek. „Ain't we two lonely hearts?" she rounds into my ear. My hearbeat accelerates. Am I ready to forgive myself? To forgive me that firm conviction to never fall in love again? Am I afraid of more permanent and hideous scars? A tear runs down my face, she wipes it off with her glove. Before she gets the chance to pull away her arm, I reach for her hand, slowly removing her black glove. Jessie is graceful and delicate, I kiss every finger of her porcelain hand. She blushes self-consciously, closing her eyes. Suddenly, I embrace the opportunity and start by massaging the length of her legs, from her upper thighs down to her ankles.
His touches make me cheer and rejoice inside. I can feel the built-up tension between the two of us. Now, he's burying his face into my shirt. I clinge to him as his tongue cuts its way to my collarbone. His breathing comes in bursts. „What are you waiting for?" I think to myself, while longing for him to satisfy my unbridled lust. I press my head back into the nape, as he reaches the right spot below my ear lobe. His lips verge on mine, until they lock. His kisses are desperate and frantic. James wraps his arms around my waist, sealing our bond with a deep and eager kiss. My body is shaking. I cup his face with both of my hands, caressing his cheek with my thumb and then the scales fall from my eyes:
I worship the man she walked on...
I've kissed girls before, but it has never felt so intensively. Jessie takes my breath away. Her grace, her beauty, everything about her is a preoccupation. I stand up, still holding her tight. We stumble towards a makeshift cot. She lays down and although her face is covered in smiles, I can see tears in her eyes. I bend forward, until there's only so much space between our lips that she can gasp for breath. Why did we wait so long? We gaze deep into each other's eyes, secretly recalling our common adventures and a fruitful career in restraining our feelings for all wrong reasons. „Jessie," time is running out, we have to part soon. I shed tears over destiny's unfairness. „You're the most amazing woman I've ever met," I try to smile, but my voice breaks and I burst into tears - true and sincere feelings. „I know," she replies, responding with a sheepish smile. I kiss her once more, trying to master my passion. My hands are slowly wandering underneath her shirt, removing it with a dapper wave. She returns the gesture, pulling the uniform over my head. Only a few minutes left before our final farewell. We cling to each other, not planning to escape this tender embrace and suddenly, I start to love her. Love her with all my senses by tasting her lips and smelling her pleasant scent. Love her with all my heart by remembering every single episode of our journey. Tears are running down my cheeks. She sobs and snivels heart-rendingly. „James," her voice is faint as she places one last kiss on my lips. „Jessie," I softly squeeze her hand. „Never let me go," she begs, her eyes moving to the window. „Never," I pledge. We see the flashing lights of approaching cars, knowing that this is it.