By: Toch

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters, all credits go to their creators.

Warning: Slash. If you can't handle it, please don't read it. Flaming because of pairing will just be laughed at.

Notes: My first Smallville fic, hopefully it is up to standard. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking time to read and do enjoy. ^^   Alternate ending is available. =X


     "Clark! Clark! Your father... he..he..said he was going to the mansion to fight it out with Lex!"


     "He's got a gun with him Clark, said something about its either going to be his blood or Lex's. You've got to stop him. I don't know what came over him!"

      "Its going to be alright mom, stay here and wait for us!"


      Scanning the walls, Clark finally found them in Lex's library. Through the walls, he saw a deja vu of his father pointing a gun at Lex, only this time, Lex had a gun aimed at his father. He watched in horror as a gun was fired.

     "Dad! Lex! NOOOO!!" Screaming, he super speed into the room. He was too late, catching the fallen body he shielded it from further shots.

     "Dad!! No! Stop!!" Clark melted his father's gun with his heat ray, before it could do any more damage to the already broken body.

     "Clark? What am I doing here? Oh my god."

     "Its... going to be ok, just call the ambulance."

      Nodding, his father dashed to the phone and began dialing.


      "Lex, Look at me Lex." Clark called out as he pressed his hands to the wound, desperately trying to stop massive loss of blood.

      "C..Clark? What are you doing here?"

      "Its going to be ok Lex. I'm going to get you to the hospital. " Clark tried to assure Lex with a smile. Lex was turning paler and paler by the minute.

       "I've just been shot Clark." A hollow laugh escaped Lex before he started coughing and gasping. "Stop. I'll lose even more blood if I move."


     "I'll just bleed to death before I reach the hospital. Just stay here with me for awhile ok?" Lifting his hand, he caressed Clark's cheek.

      "…" Sighing, Clark ripped off his shirt and pressed the cloth to the wound.

      "Where's your father's gun?" Lex winced as he tried to look above Clark shoulder.


      "You don't want him in jail right? Where's the gun? Make this look like a suicide."

      "What?! You're going to be alright Lex. Stop talking like this." Clark shook the man gently. Blood had stained his fingers a deep red and Lex's body was slowly turning cold. "Why didn't you try and stop my dad Lex? You should have… done something."

      Letting his hand fall, Lex laughed sardonically. "I would have died sooner or later Clark, I've been diagnosed with the same disease that killed my mom."

     That was only half of the answer, Clark saw the rest in Lex's eye. Amidst the cool steel grey was love. Because Lex loved him and he knew how much Jonathan had meant to Clark.

     And all these while, he didn't see it. He couldn't believe how blind he was.

     And how stupid Lex was. Why didn't he say anything?

     Even if he did, Clark wasn't sure if he could hear it, because Lex had shown it in more ways than one and he had been too blind to notice anything.      

    Why had things always have to end this way? Why did he always have to wait for something bad to happen before he found out what was important?

   He thought he had learnt his lesson with his parents and Chole, that he had been taking his friends for granted. That he was too blinded by his infatuation with Lana to see the others around him.

   Maybe because Lex was always there.

   No matter what happened, he was always there. Always there, trying to protect him. Always there, with a solution. Always there, helping him win Lana over. Always there, with a listening ear. Always there, listening to him moon about Lana. Always there, when he needed someone and all his other friends couldn't be. Always there, to believe in him, despite the secrets between them. Always there, even during their fights, no matter how angry Lex was or how much doubts he had, he was always there. He was always there even in times when Clark had doubted him or lied to him. Always there, loving him.

   Even now, Lex was trying to protect him.

   "You're stupid, you know." Clark sighed as he gripped the fallen hand.

   "That's something new." Raising his eyebrows, Lex tried to grin without wincing from the pain.

    "Lex, I'm sorry."

    "What for? You didn't do anything."


     "Don't think too highly of yourself Clark. You're not superman." 

     "Lex, I..."

     "Sh... Just shut up and hold me for awhile ok?"


      He was dying. Lex nearly snorted at that thought. But he was dying. He could imagine all the headlines in the newspapers and the tabloids. 'Young Millionaire Kills Himself!' The reporters are going to be busy.

     And his father. Maybe he would shed a tear or two, then marry a blond and get himself another normal son. Another son that listens to him, instead of trying to crush him. Another son that would live a normal life, not one full of fast cars, drugs, alcohol and women. Another son that he could train to take over his empire when he was dead and not when he was alive.

     It was just too bad that he couldn't get to see this new 'brother'. But deep down, he knew the reason that Lionel never remarried was partly because of him.

     The last time Lionel had brought a woman home, she took one look at Lex and when she thought that no one was around, she sniggered about Lex's big bald head and how 'cute' it was to one of her girl friend over the phone.

     Unfortunately for her, Lionel heard the big bald head part and he obviously didn't find it cute because he slapped her so hard that her lips bleed and a nasty crack could be heard. It was her good fortune that the door had been open, she got out of the mansion before more damage could be done.

     With him gone, and the throne for the heir of the Luthor's empire vacant, Lionel Luthor could finally have the son that he wanted. 

     Maybe things shouldn't have ended like this for him and his father. Maybe it wouldn't if someone had said 'I love you'. But it had, and there was nothing that they could do about it. They were too stubborn and their pride refused to let them do so. Maybe he should find someway to remind his father to tell his new son 'I love you'.  

    And there was Clark, crushing their bodies together, strong arms supporting his drained body. Lex didn't know if he should laugh or cry. He had always fantasized about being in Clark's arm and now he was, except that he was bleeding and dying. Well, at least he should be grateful that he was dying in warm arms instead of some cold hospital with tubes all over him and the nurses and doctors poking at him.

     He had thought that he was strong enough, if not smart enough, not to trust anyone. No matter how much his brain warned, screamed and protested, he found himself trusting Clark. As if it was not bad enough, he actually found himself falling for the boy. Worse still, it was an unrequited love.

     Damn it. He might as well just squash his brains or rip out his heart.

     It was stupid, but he couldn't help it. He thought that maybe it would go away if he just leave it there. It didn't, it came back to haunt him. He tried digging a deep hole to burry it, hoping that it was biodegradable. It wasn't and no matter how long and hard he dug, the hole was never deep enough. He should have been smart enough to realize that he was trying to run away and running away never solves the problem.

    He seriously wondered how he managed to handle the plant with his ability to make stupid decisions like that.

    Maybe Clark was right. He was really stupid. Stupid enough to do every single thing he swore he'd never do. He actually wanted to trust someone who lied to him. He was stupid to want some one who only had eyes for the town's Fairy Princess. Stupid enough to cut himself open with his emotions and leave himself raw and exposed.

    At the rate he was going, his doom was bound to be. He should have just signed Chole up for an exclusive interview about his soon-to-happen downfall, at least someone would have benefited.

    The main reason for his obsession and need for finding out how and why things work was because it was the only thing that could protect him. If you knew how something work and why it does what it does, you'll know when it's coming and tear it down before it gets you.

   But no matter how stupid and wrong it seemed, he found himself wanting and needing to trust the boy and to have the boy trust him. The boy was slowing tearing down his defenses. He gave up the truth to maintain their friendship. It made him feel vulnerable and weak. 

     It hurt Lex more than he would like to admit that Clark wouldn't tell him what he's secrets were. But he didn't blame Clark for doing so, Clark was smart to know that telling others your secrets was like having a knife pointing at your back all the time.

     Maybe why he tried so hard to find out what those were was because he understood how it felt to keep protecting yourself by pushing others away. 

    Clark was always walking around as if the weight of the whole world on his shoulders. He was only a high school student! He should be out there playing football, going on dates instead of worrying about the farm or that someone would find out what his secret was or being a hero.

    And maybe if he found out what those secrets were, Clark would have one less person to lie to, one more person he could share his troubles with without worrying about revealing too much. One more person to try and protect him while he was out there trying to protect others.


    "Lex, open your eyes, please?"  It frightened Clark that he found the scene strangely beautiful. It should have send chills down his spine, it should make Clark feel like hurling. But it wasn't. The sight was fascinating, the contrast of pale skin and dark red blood. It felt more like an art piece instead. It didn't seem real. But it was. The cold pale body in his arms and the slowing sounds of heartbeat reminded him that Lex was slipping away.

     "C..Clark?" Lex struggled to keep his eyes open. The warmth cradled him and Lex wanted to close his eyes and forget about everything and just nest in it. He never felt so warm and safe, not ever since his mother's death.

     "I... I'm sorry I couldn't tell you everything. I wanted to, but... I'm sorry, I had to lie. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise, I'm sorry it took me so long..."

     "C...Clark?" Sleep was tempting, but Lex fought to stay awake. Weakly, he brushed away a fallen tear from emerald eyes.

     "I... I think I love you Lex. I'm sorry it took me so long. I..."

     "Stop being sorry Clark. You don't have to be. I never meant for you to know." So there he was, almost about to draw his last breath and the words he wanted to hear so desperately was finally said and he almost regretted that he lived to hear it.

     Lex wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation.

     He didn't want to leave with regrets. Regrets of what may have been. Their friendship had almost been enough for him. It was. At least till now.

     "I..." Before Lex could finish, warm lips engulfed his and he opened his readily, returning the bittersweet kiss with whatever strength he had left, his last breath given away, regrets forgotten.

    So this is goodbye.

    Outside, the sirens from the ambulance wailed.


     Whatever that happened after that, passed in a blur for Clark.

     He remembered Lionel Luthor's expensive shades, white lilies, two pale marble tombstones, a sea of black umbrellas and flashlights everywhere.

    He remembered his friends weak attempt at consoling him. They didn't seem really sorry.

    He remembered lying to his parents about Lex's death, he's father didn't remember what happen and he didn't need to know what really happen.

     He remembered Lex's lawyer and wondering why Lex chose such an elderly man. The man said something about a will and sponsoring his studies and to look for him should they face any difficulties. Clark just stared at him blankly. The lawyer looked sad.

     He remembered being handed a dark purple envelope with his name neatly written in silver before the lawyer left.

     Clark stared at the envelope, he had been staring at it since the lawyer left. Despite the exquisite appearance, the envelope did not look out of place in the loft. It reminded him of Lex, Lex never looked out of place despite his expensive clothes and shoes, he only looked like he belonged.

     Clark's fingers shook as he opened the envelope. In it was a simple silver necklace with the finest workmanship. The pendant was a stylization of Alexander the Great's breastplate. He remembers seeing it in Metropolis Museum, together with Lex.

     "You know it belonged to Alexander the Great? They said the design symbolizes strength and courage."

     It was obviously custom-made made, not to mention costing a bomb. Clark was sure that it was without a replica. Attached to it was a note.

      "Dear Clark,

                              Thought that this might suit you.



                 Outside, the first star could be seen.



4 April 2003

Thank you for reading.

Note: OK, I want to hit myself for killing Lex and not letting the two end up together. I'm sorry. An alternative ending is available. (Next chapter) I just couldn't do it! Thank you for reading and reviews are greatly appreciated! Thank you!