Wow! It has been a really long time since I posted anything on here! Sadly, my muse for BB fanfic disappeared for a long time. But that season 8 finale really got me going! I've only watched the end of that episode about a hundred times and I love it even more every time I see it. But it got me wondering how they went from that hug under the bridge to being engaged and reciting vows at the dinner table. The BB writers finally gave the Jamko fans what they wanted, but never did I expect an engagement this soon. Although, I think I understand why.
So here's my take on what I've estimated is the few days between the Sorrento shooting and Sunday Dinner. Enjoy and review if you can. I'd love to know what you all think happened during that time.
It's Not Just Eddie Today
Jamie sat hunched over on the cold, hard steps leading up to Eddie's apartment building, glancing up and down the dimly lit sidewalks for what seemed like the millionth time since he decided to park himself out front to wait for his partner to come home. Jamie lifted his wrist to check his watch, wondering where Eddie could be at this hour. He was normally a patient man, but all of this waiting had him on edge, as evidenced by the nervous jiggling of his left leg. He was also doing his damndest to ignore the part of his brain telling him where Eddie had chosen to be right now, or more importantly, with whom, but was beginning to lose that battle the longer he sat there.
He thought back to earlier in the day and let out a heavy sigh. Jamie had come close to losing his life today, so close he still wondered how a hired gunman had managed to miss him with his first shot from so close (not that he was complaining). He believed in guardian angels and he sure as hell had three of them watching over him today. But he couldn't forget that he also had a partner who through some miracle, some sort of sixth sense and a lot of quick action had prevented him from taking additional shots from Sorrento.
One second Jamie was getting shot at in the RMP, the next he's looking into Eddie's crystal blue eyes and seeing his future. And then suddenly, he and Eddie were clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it.
Maybe they did.
I'd spend the five million on you.
The rest of the day passed in a blur after he and Eddie had been able to finally let go of each other. He didn't know how long they held each other. They were already surrounded by 2 patrol units when they broke apart and more were arriving at mach speed with lights and sirens blaring, most certainly from civilian calls to 911 reporting the officer-involved shooting. The questions came left and right – Are you guys alright? What happened? Anyone else hurt? – all the while other officers glanced into the BMW 7 Series and at its lone occupant to confirm what they already knew.
The interrogations continued and their responses came automatically in between the quick glances they shared each time they were pulled farther apart - first by colleagues, then by superior officers who demanded sit reps. Soon, they were forced into the back of ambulances for a once over by EMS to confirm that they were in fact unharmed. Not that it saved them the hassle of forced trips to the nearest ER for trauma checks per SOP after an officer-involved shooting – Eddie because she'd shot the perp dead and Jamie because he'd been the target of an assassination attempt.
Jamie hadn't seen Eddie since then and his desire to have her within arm's reach again became more maddening with each passing second. Instead, he received a full exam by the ER doc, a visit by his very relieved father to confirm that the reports of his well-being had not been grossly exaggerated before quickly being whisked off by his DCPI to deal with the press. Finally, he was lucky enough to be escorted back to the 12th Precinct with his sergeant after the doctor cleared him, only to spend the next few hours with the borough shooting team where he was fully debriefed and repeatedly told how lucky he'd been that day.
No shit, Sherlock.
His frequent queries as to his partner went mostly unanswered in that he was only told that she must be doing the same thing he was, just somewhere else. That wasn't good enough for him, not today, but he had no choice but to go through the process until he was dismissed.
Once he was free, he came up empty handed in his search for Eddie, only to be told by the desk sergeant on shift that she had been sent home 30 minutes before he came asking.
His calls to her went unanswered and so did his texts. That made Jamie nervous, but also more determined to find her. So here he sat. He thought back to the words and the deep, soul-searching looks they'd traded under the bridge earlier in the day and wondered if that had been nothing more than a momentary glimpse of the feelings Eddie had once declared for him, the same ones she claimed to do everything she could to forget. Had he imagined it all? Or had he rejected her once too often that they could only reappear in flashes after life and death experiences?
Jamie was sure that he caught more than a glimpse today, just like the countless other times when even he questioned his sanity in keeping his feelings for Eddie behind lock and key…like after she had been shot - one of the most terrifying moments of his life. Or when he'd swooped in to pick her up from the hospital only to find Barry back in the picture. Or after the infant kidnapping case when she needed him, because Barry just wouldn't get her like he did.
Because they went through it together.
Because they just got each other, knew each other inside out, loved each other...
Jamie was so lost in thought, the soft greeting startled him. But the sight of his partner standing a few feet in front of him looking tired and nervous and beautiful as always quickly sent him to his feet. "Hi," he greeted her back. "I, uh, I was looking for you."
"I saw your calls," Eddie acknowledged awkwardly as she slipped her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "And your texts."
Yet you didn't respond, he worried internally. Jamie prayed he wasn't about to be sent home like she had done recently, but he felt determined today to be completely honest with her, more than he had in the past. "I was hoping you'd come home after they were done with you at the precinct," he said. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Eddie readjusted the strap of her bag against her shoulder as she looked Jamie in the eyes and wondered why he was really here. "I wanted to, but I had something I really needed to do first," she hedged.
Jamie tilted his head, silently asking what that something was.
Eddie swallowed thickly, unknowingly feeling the same determination as her partner to finally put it all out there for him. "I went to see Barry," she said, eyeing him closely for his reaction.
"Oh," Jamie responded as he nervously slid his own hands back into his jacket pockets, needing to look away at her admission. Heart pounding, he began to think that maybe he'd been right - what he thought he saw in her eyes, felt as she clung to him on the street, was gone… a momentary lapse in judgment after a near death experience.
I'd spend the five million on you.
Eddie wondered if that was disappointment or just disapproval she saw on his face. She didn't think Jamie cared for Barry, especially after he dumped her because she talked about her partner too much. Whichever it was, Eddie was about to find out.
"After everything today," Eddie began.
Jamie looked back at his partner, drawn to the raw emotion in her voice.
"I didn't want to lie anymore…not to him or to you," she continued, pausing to take deep, cleansing breath. "Especially to myself."
Jamie nodded silently as he chewed on his lower lip, feeling the exact same way.
"I'm in love with you, Jamie," Eddie declared as her eyes misted over. A small laugh burst from her lips at the sound of those words and the shock on her partner's face. She was stunned as well; Eddie never thought she'd hear herself say those words out loud. "I do. I love you," she nodded. "It took what happened today to know that I can't let go of my feelings for you and move forward like it doesn't exist."
Jamie did just as he'd done earlier in the day and held her stare, unable to speak after she said the words he dreamed of saying right back to her.
When he said nothing, Eddie continued, "I can't pretend that I don't for the sake of our partnership anymore, no matter how much I don't want to stop riding with you. Your partnership, Jamie, means everything to me. But there could be so much more," she explained as her expression changed. Eddie was determined to be tough, she could take whatever he was going to say in response, but she needed to know once and for all. And not just the 'I have feelings for you too,' that she'd gotten from him before. "So I need to know - right now - I need to hear from you whether you do too," she ordered with a nervous swallow.
Jamie gazed into her eyes, unable to decide what to say first. His heart stuttered when Eddie began to worry her bottom lip, clearly nervous over how he would respond. How could she not know, he thought for a split second before he admonished himself. Because you always pushed her away when you could have moved closer. Jamie took his own fortifying breath and took Eddie's hands into his own. "I wish I could…," he trailed off as he tried sorting the thoughts in his head.
"What?" Eddie squeaked, prodding him along when nothing else came, preparing herself for letdown.
Jamie smiled shyly, gently rubbing her tense hands with his thumbs. "I wish I could say when it happened," he said softly.
It was Eddie's turn to look at him quizzically.
"When I fell in love with you," he clarified.
Eddie's eyes filled with tears all over again and a soft sob escaped from her mouth as the stress of the day melted from her body.
Jamie took another step closer and brought her hands to his chest as a flash of mischief spread across his face. "I don't think it was our first tour together when you almost ran over that pedestrian in front of the 12th," he joked.
"I did not," Eddie laughed incredulously.
"Or all of the times that you made fun of what I eat," Jamie added.
"I still do," she reminded him. "You're like a rabbit. You need to eat real food."
Jamie smiled as Eddie slid her hands from his only to place them against his chest. "Or when you tell me what to do and make plans without consulting with me," he said.
"Alright already!" Eddie exclaimed with a playful slap of his chest.
Jamie chuckled, thinking that maybe it was her smile he fell in love with. He took a second to get serious and went on to say, "I think it was all the times that you've shown the me and world that you have more strength and courage than they'd ever expect to see. When you've let your guard down a bit and trusted me to lead the way. When you've stood your ground and shown me that I can trust you too. You make me laugh, you keep me on my toes. You're the first person I want to see everyday," he recited while bringing his forehead down to meet hers. "That's not even getting into how ridiculously beautiful you are," he added in a sultry voice.
"Stop it," Eddie blushed, but it melted her heart to hear him say that.
Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie and held her tight. He knew this was where he belonged. "I always have been in love with you, Eddie. But I wouldn't admit it to myself or anyone else because I couldn't stand the thought of someone else calling himself your partner. I was afraid to lose you if you didn't feel the same, so I went with just being your partner and your friend. But I'll always have your back, Eddie, both on and off the job. And I've never been more certain than I am today that you will too. And I'm ready to take that next step too."
That was more than Eddie expected to hear but they were the most beautiful words she'd ever heard. That, combined with nearly losing him today, had her in tears, but it didn't stop her from going up on her tippy-toes to meet him halfway for a kiss. It started off as soft and sweet but quickly became heated and passionate, both desperate to make up for lost time.
They parted, both panting at the intensity of the kiss. The smiles they shared spoke of what was to come in the future.
Jamie cleared his throat, forcing himself to look away from Eddie's swollen lips before he was tempted to go in for more. "But there is one thing I wanted to talk to you about…," he said as a distraction. Now that they had declared their love for each other, there were a lot of decisions that needed to be made.
"The lawyer in me wants to know where and why it says we can't do this," he started with a gentle squeeze of his arms, "and ride together too." Call him crazy, but it couldn't hurt to look. There could even be a way around it. At least that was what Jamie was going with for now. Rule or no rule, he knew his father would not approve of them being involved in a romantic relationship AND remaining partners and maybe the fact that he'd been at odds with Frank Reagan and his expectations of his career path as of late had something to do with Jamie wanting to know what the rule clearly stated.
Eddie leaned back and furrowed her brow at her partner like he was crazy to think he could get around NYPD procedure. "It's a rule," she pointed out, but also thought of Frank Regan and doing anything that would rock the boat with their ultimate boss.
"But do you know what rule it is - specifically? Like in which guide book?" Jamie countered.
Eddie opened her mouth to reply in the affirmative, but had to pause when she realized that she'd couldn't say that she had ever seen the rule or tell him where to find it. "Well…," she stalled as she continued to wracked her brain for an answer...it had to exist somewhere. "I guess not," she surrendered. But it's what we've been told since we were in the academy, Jamie."
"You're right about that. But, again, where does it comes from?" he questioned.
"I can't honestly say. It just is," she offered.
"But is it?" Jamie asked. He was determined to find a way.
Eddie chuckled as she pulled out of his arms and wondered if their stunning admissions had left him a little loopy. "Jamie, even if you found some way to argue this, there's no way your dad would," she said.
Jamie interrupted her, able to easily read her mind and he understood her concern. "Would let us stay together in the precinct, much less the car?" He reached for her hand, hoping she would hear him out. "Dad's the type of guy that follows the rules. But again, what if there isn't a rule to follow, Eddie? I'm just saying we look into it and see what the rules really are instead of just accepting the same line we hear every one of our bosses spew out as gospel. I mean, it's not the first time we've questioned the brass, right?" he pleaded with a smirk, knowing how often they got themselves in hot water for questioning superiors and disobeying orders.
Eddie smiled, unable to disagree with his last statement. "So what do we do?" she asked, ready to help out. Her curiosity was piqued and if there was a way for them to stay together, she was willing to try. Not that she thought there was a way around it, but Jamie looked so hopeful...it was contagious and cute and who was she to burst his bubble?
"We both got a few days off, right?" Jamie said as he kissed the back of her hand and gazed intently into her eyes. He didn't want to be anywhere Eddie wasn't and if she was willing, he wanted to spend their free time basking in this new aspect of their relationship.
"I know a couple of ways we can spend the time," he whispered. Jamie cupped Eddie's cheek, hungry for another taste of her lips.
As eager as Eddie was for another kiss and the unspoken promise for so much more, she realized one thing: they were still out in public. "Alright, Romeo," she giggled at his disappointment when she placed a finger against his lips to derail his mission. "Even though you and I seem to have a thing for making out in front of my building," she began, referencing the very first kiss they shared, "I think it's best if time we moved this inside."
"That's a fantastic idea, Janko," Jamie grinned as he slid one arm around her shoulders and guided her up the stairs. He kissed her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and realized the tremendous weight he'd been carrying - a torch for his partner - was finally gone.
Now they just had a few more hurdles to get through.
Eddie finished reading the copy of the NYPD's sexual harassment policy before turning her head to look Jamie square in the eyes. "Are you sure, Reagan? Not that I doubt that Harvard brain of yours but….are you sure?" she asked, settling back against him. They had been comfortably positioned on his couch drinking coffee and discussing his findings after he spent hours researching the department's alleged no-fraternization rule.
"Yes, Eddie," Jamie nodded, having enjoyed doing the research and coming up with answers that already had him making plans for their future. "I checked every guide, Patrol or otherwise, twice - just in case I missed anything the first time. The rules that exist are more of sexual harassment policies addressing things like misconduct while on the job and sexual relationships between superiors and their subordinates for all of the obvious reasons. I went beyond that and found that a lot of agencies have dismissed no-fraternization policies in favor of more comprehensive sexual harassment policies. And in some places where they have the no-fraternization rules, they don't hold up in court." Jamie had been diligent in his research - a specialty of his throughout law school and his short legal career. Having hours to kill yesterday afternoon when Eddie was unexpectedly called back to the 12th by the burrough shooting team to dot some I's and cross some T's on the Sorrento shooting, he'd taken advantage to play a hunch and confirm what the rules really were in terms of partnerships.
Before then, they'd spent the night and morning languishing in their newfound intimate relationship. It had been hard to go their separate ways, but they promised to see each other as soon as Eddie was done with work and they had not left each other's side since.
"If they trust us to have guns, they should trust us to date who we want," Eddie grumbled as she flung the policy handbook back on the coffee table next to various other NYPD guidebooks Jamie researched the day before. "And I'm warning you buddy, there will be no misconduct to be had between us on the job. Never do I feel more unsexy than when I'm in that uniform," she mumbled, turning to lay her head on his chest.
Jamie chuckled and kissed her forehead. "You don't look like a 10 year old boy, Janko," he assured her referencing an old joke, "but I agree, we aren't going there." This new thing between them was going to be scrutinized by all, especially everyone at the department and he wasn't going to give people any reason to question their personal relationship or their work partnership.
"Anyway, we're both of equal rank, so that's another thing we don't have to worry about," he added.
Eddie perked up at his comment, taking an opportunity to address something that had been on her mind recently, ever since an unexpected meeting with the PC. "For now," she commented.
Jamie frowned, eyeing Eddie when she sat up to address him.
"What about the sergeant's exam?" she asked carefully.
The frown remained on Jamie's face, wondering if she'd had any other conversations with his father. But he knew better than to think she would keep something like that from him, she certainly hadn't after her first detour up to the 14th floor while visiting a friend at 1PP. Although it seemed that his father had managed to trigger her curiosity on that issue.
"Just hear me out, babe," Eddie urged gently, hoping it wasn't too sensitive a topic to bring up now. Luckily for her, his expression softened at the unexpected term of endearment and it gave her the green light to continue. "You should take it, Jamie. We both should."
Jamie began to shake his head, but Eddie continued before he could voice his objections. "There's no guarantee that either of us will have our number called if we take and pass the test, but even if we do, there's hardly a chance we'd fill a spot in our same house - we'd go where we're assigned. And then there wouldn't be any issues with superior/subordinate conflicts anyway," she argued. Eddie didn't know where her career was headed, but she figured she might as well get in line for any chance at advancement. She knew from her brief meeting in the PC's office a few weeks back that he too believed that his youngest should sit for the exam. And she agreed with him. Eddie thought Jamie would make an excellent sergeant and it would allow him to remain on the streets which he loved so much. She too couldn't understand his refusal to take the exam. Eddie hoped that she wasn't the reason, that it wasn't his effort to maintain their work partnership. As much as she wanted to remain his partner, she also looked forward to some type of career advancement one day and she understood that it would mean not riding with Jamie everyday. But now? Now they had a personal relationship and she had no doubt that they'd be together for the rest of their days. "Just think about it," she requested.
Jamie had no way out, not when he was sitting here with Eddie in his lap giving him her sweetest puppy dog eyes. He couldn't honestly say why he didn't want to take the test...to go against his dad, maybe? To stay with Eddie for as long as she'd be on patrol? Maybe he did love being on the streets just as much as he'd repeatedly told his father, brother and grandfather. But there was little he could deny her now or even before they'd taken their relationship to this whole new level and he loved that she was thinking of his future as well as hers. So he agreed. "I'll think about it, Ed. I promise."
Eddie beamed at him. It wasn't a yes, but at least he'd consider it. That's all she wanted to hear. And with all of the study help he was giving her, she knew he'd be ready to sit for the test if he decided to take it in the end. "But 'til then, if we can stay together, I'm in," she said, wanting to assure him that her plan was to remain his partner for as long as it was allowed. She sealed that promise with a kiss.
Since Eddie had been brave enough to address that issue with him, Jamie figured it was his turn to do the same. He peeked at the time on corner of the late morning news cast airing on the television and decided it was now or never. Otherwise, he was going to risk being late again.
"So, ah, I gotta get ready soon and head over to my dad's for dinner," he said. He'd been late or close to it each of the last few weeks and had been ordered to arrive on on time today by his grandfather with not so subtle hints from his siblings to get to the family home early for kitchen duty.
"Oh. Well, duty calls, I guess," Eddie joked to hide the disappointment that now sat in the pit of her stomach with the announcement of his impending departure. A part of her wanted Jamie to take her to the legendary Sunday dinner, to announce to the family that they were together, to know that this thing between them was not going to be kept under wraps to avoid upsetting the Reagan clan - namely their boss. They'd been holed up in both their apartments and even with his research into the fraternization rules, she worried that he'd want to keep their relationship a secret.
Another part of her was frightened to sit at the big family dinner with all of the Reagans. The PC had been kind enough to her recently and Erin and Nicky were friendly. And Danny? Danny Reagan just seemed like a grumpy old teddy bear to her. But meeting each separately was very different than sitting at a table with the whole clan eyeballing the newcomer.
Jamie gave her a small smile before glancing down at his hands. "Well, I figured that since we're together now...well, I don't want to live separate lives anymore."
Eddie was confused. "What do you mean Jamie?" They were together all the time until it was time to go….oh. Her eyebrows shot up at what she thought he was implying. "Do you want to move in together?" Eddie questioned with wide eyes.
Jamie took both her hands in his and stared into her beautiful blue eyes. He hadn't been certain where he was taking this conversation when he started it, but before he knew it, impulse took over and he was asking for what he wanted most in the whole world.
And with that, another plan began to form in Jamie's head.
Eddie felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. It seemed like an eternity before she could find her voice.
All the while, Jamie waited patiently, knowing he had surprised the hell out of her. But he was hopeful that she was ready to stay on this wild ride with him.
When she could breathe again, she said, "Jamie...I don't know what to say. I mean, shouldn't we should date first? I thought you meant we should live together or something." Eddie kept repeating his words in her head. Could she see herself married to Jamison Henry Reagan? Abso-freaking-lutely! But she wasn't expecting him to pop the question 36 hours after they finally decided to declare their love for each other and consummate the relationship.
"That's what we've been doing for the past 4 years, Eddie. People date to get to know each other and see if they're a match. We already know each other inside and out," he asserted. Why wait? It took them so long to get here and they'd done everything together that most couples do when dating.
Well...except for the really fun stuff.
Eddie's vision blurred. She was losing count of how often he'd brought her to tears over the past few days. "Oh, Jamie," she sighed, her breath catching in her throat.
"You're it for me, Eddie. There's no one else I'd ever want to be with," he declared. Jamie looked down at her hands, sadly wishing he'd waited and planned this out when he had something to place on her finger. "I don't have a ring to give you right now," he said, thinking of his mother's ring and whether his dad would let him have it again. He didn't think he could give Eddie the same exact ring that he'd proposed to Sydney with, but maybe he could have the stone reset. "I'm sorry, honey. I wasn't expecting to propose to you, but being with you here, I couldn't help myself. It feels right, Eddie. We've wasted so much time. I want you to be my wife." She deserved to be wined and dined and to be given grand proposal. He wanted to give her the world.
I'd spend the 5 million on you.
But right now, all he could give her was his heart.
Eddie was still at a loss for words, but the tears fell from her eyes and her heart was screaming, YES!
Jamie prayed that bearing his soul could make up for his impulsiveness, at least temporarily. This wasn't normally his way or, at least, it hadn't been the way he'd proposed to Sydney. With Sydney, there was a lot of thinking and soul searching before he decided he was finally ready to ask for her hand. Maybe that was the problem and the reason why things didn't work in the end. But thank God for that. What he had with Eddie went far beyond what he ever had with Sydney. He didn't need to think about whether he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he just knew that he did. "What I can share with you right now are the things I swear to you, not only in marriage, but to keep us good partners on the job."
And the surprises just kept coming from him today. "Wait, hold up! Do you mean like vows!? You already have vows!?" she shot back in disbelief.
Jamie smiled brightly as a blush rose upon his face. He was ready to admit to her that he'd thought about what he would say to her one day, if he ever had the nerve to be honest with her and be lucky enough to make her his wife. But he also recalled her words. "I dare you tell me that you've never thought about it, Janko," Jamie dared, eyes narrowing as one particular moment replayed in his mind. "I remember you being in this very apartment once...that night you jumped me."
"I did not jump you! Jerk!" Eddie laughed as she attempted to pull her hands from his. Her cheeks turned bright pink as she too recalled that impulsive kiss. It did nothing but make her want more of what she could not have.
But Jamie held firm, laughing heartily with her before turning serious again. "You said that you had feelings for me for a long time," he said while looking intently into her eyes. "That I was the best person you'd ever met….that I was your best friend." He paused as he remembered that night over one year ago and wished he had the courage to do this then.
"You always gotta remember everything, don't you?" Eddie accused lightly.
"I've felt those same things for you, Eddie," he continued, "and have always thought about the promises I'd make to you given the chance."
Eddie looked away embarrassed, but secretly pleased the she wasn't alone. She should have known though, that with Jamie she was never alone. She didn't need prompting, because the words came so easily to her. "I will always have your back," Eddie promised, squeezing his hands so that he'd go next.
"If you fall behind, I'll wait up," he pledged.
And so they went, taking turns to reveal their solemn vows to one another.
"I'll earn your respect and pay you respect every day we have."
"I'll be your scout, your night watchman, your calvary."
"Your medic, your chaplain in our army of two."
Jamie couldn't help but smile as he said, "No retreat, no surrender."
Eddie threw her head back in laughter as countless conversations about all the things they had in common and favorites they shared came to mind. "Nice touch, Jamie. Springsteen will seal the deal for you every time."
They stared at each other before Jamie made his final vow. "You can count on me."
"And you can count on me," Eddie repeated softly.
"So...I guess that's a 'yes?'" Jamie smiled.
"YES!" Eddie nodded enthusiastically as she launched herself into his arms. "YES!"
"I want the world to know, Eddie," Jamie declared as his heart soared. But it wouldn't be official without a kiss.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why Jamie and the future Mrs. Jamison Reagan were late to Sunday Dinner.
Many thanks to werks for taking a look at this so quickly! Hopefully this the the first of more to come. :)