PRIORITIES

"So, the whole world ends in a zombie apocalypse?" Xander asked.

"It looks that way," Giles agreed.

"Can zombies swim?" Xander asked.

"No... I don't believe so, why?" the elder British man replied.

"Because we could set out to sea and wait however many months it takes for the zombies to fall apart from rot or insects," Xander pointed out.

"That... is a very good point," Giles said thoughtfully, as he took off his glasses and cleaned them.

"How long do we have?" Xander asked. "I mean, are zombies going to crash through the door in the next five minutes or is it next month during the dark of the moon?"

"We have just twenty-two hours," Giles said. "Possibly an hour or two less due to the presence of the Hellmouth."

"Alright, so we have to get as much money as possible and stock up on supplies," Xander said.

"And the matter of a boat?" Giles asked.

"We arrange a seven-day rental of a tug boat and barge," Xander replied.

"And barge?" Giles asked.

"Tug boats are easy to operate and hard to damage," Xander explained, "but they don't have a lot of storage. We get a barge we can easily chain down a number of storage sheds filled with supplies and still have room for... any number of things."

"How much do you think we'll need?" Giles asked.

"Everything," Xander replied instantly, "not that money will matter in the end, because when we do return to land money will be worthless."

"I, yes, I see what you mean," Giles said. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths before opening them again. "You seem remarkably calm and knowledgeable about what to do."

"I've seen tons of zombie movies," Xander replied with a shrug. "I can also handle nuclear war and alien doppelgangers."

"I wonder if those movies were written for that reason," Giles said.

"No idea," Xander replied, "but I guess it doesn't really matter at this point."

"No, I suppose it doesn't," Giles agreed.

"We should be planning what to take and who," Xander suggested. "Also, I'd call the council and tell them the plan as well."

"Yes, I better get started on that," Giles agreed, slowly walking into his office deep in thought.

Xander started a list of things they'd need and could buy along with a list of things they'd need and have to steal, probably at the last minute while everyone was running around screaming and dying.

"What are you doing?" Willow asked as she and Oz entered the library just ahead of Buffy and Angel and saw Xander furiously scribbling away.

"You do know we've been juggling apocalypses, right?" Xander asked, not looking up from his work.

"Yeah," Oz said cautiously sensing something big was going down.

"Do you think we were the only group juggling?" Xander asked.

"I did, but I'm guessing we weren't," Buffy admitted.

"Not by a long shot," Xander said, adding items they'd need to deal with Oz during a full moon to his list.

"What's all this?" Willow asked, glancing over his lists.

"I don't know how many groups were out there juggling apocalypses," Xander said, "but it was kinda inevitable that someone would drop the ball at some point and that point was about forty eight hours ago. We have about eighteen hours maybe more, but best not to chance it, before it hits."

Buffy grabbed Xander's shoulder and forced him to turn and face her. "What is going to happen?"

"The dead are going to rise," Xander said bluntly, finally focusing on them. "All of the dead."

"A zombie apocalypse?" Oz asked in disbelief, showing emotion for once.

"As cliché as it sounds, yes," Xander replied. "Thankfully its limited to humans, maybe primates, Giles wasn't sure. Anyway, this isn't something we can fight, but it is something we can survive."

"How?" Angel demanded, grabbing Buffy's hand.

"By going to sea," Xander explained. "Zombies aren't immortal, between insects and mold they should all be gone in about six to nine months tops."

"A werewolf is too dangerous to have in close quarters," Oz said.

Willow turned to Oz horrified at the thought of leaving him behind.

Xander snorted. "We don't have to worry about noise or being discovered. We can put a harness on you and hang you over the water. Worst thing that can happen is you fall in the water and we make you dog paddle until morning."

"Oh," Oz said, surprised.

"Plus, we'll have Angel and Buffy on hand to help prevent any problems," Xander reminded him.

"You're not going to complain about Angel?" Buffy asked.

"No, we don't have time for it and he has his uses," Xander said.

Xander not complaining about Angel brought home how serious the situation was to the rest of the group.

"Money is about to become completely worthless, so don't bother trying to save any," Xander said. "I'm planning on setting some pre-fab buildings on a barge and filling them with supplies."

"A barge?" Buffy asked who'd pictured a cruise ship or a yacht, not having any other experience with going to sea.

"Basically, a floating dock the size of a parking lot," Xander explained. "We slap a tug boat on it and we have plenty of room for supplies."

"You think big," Oz said.

"We can rent U-Hauls, pack all our stuff and drive the trucks on-board," Xander said. "Two-day rental is cheap and there is enough room in the back of a fifteen-foot truck to set up your bedroom comfortably and they have up to twenty-six-foot trucks available. Toss everything in a truck and you can sort it at sea."

"how big is a barge?" Buffy asked.

"The one I have just acquired is seventy-six point two meters long and twenty-two meters wide," Giles said as he came out of the office. "It is a load line barge, whatever that means."

"It means it is large, flat, and certified for international shipping," Xander said, looking relieved. "Did you get a tug to go with it?"

"Two," Giles replied. "I said I'd like a spare and they were more than happy to oblige."

"How big is it in real measurements?" Buffy asked. At Giles confused look she said, "You know, feet?"

Giles sighed and rubbed his temples, muttering about bloody Americans before answering, "Two hundred and fifty feet long and seventy-two feet wide."

Buffy's eyes got wide. "That's huge!"

"A little under a third of a football field," Willow said, "which gives us plenty of space."

"If we had more time we could save a lot of people," Xander said, "but we don't have the time or the money. The most we can do is grab as much supplies as possible and those closest to us."

"My parents..." Willow said paling, as she realized they were far beyond her reach.

"Call and tell them... something," Xander suggested. "Lie and make up something believable. If they can lock themselves in a fallout shelter or something similar they should be OK."

"I... I'll claim a virus from a military research facility has gotten loose," Willow said. "They'll buy that and they have a lot of friends who are doomsday preppers."

"Call them now," Xander ordered. "The more of them that go to ground, the more that will survive."

"My dad's in Spain," Buffy said as Willow rushed off to use Giles phone, "and hasn't left a number."

"Mine are in the rain forest," Oz told her.

"Why?" she asked. Oz shrugged in response.

"I doubt mine will believe me, but I'll tell mine as well," Xander said.

"I can prove vampires exist," Angel offered.

"That would probably help," Xander said, "thanks."

Willow returned. "I don't know whether to be happy or concerned, but they bought the government excuse instantly and have sent word. Apparently, everyone was on 'two-hour notice' because of the latest space-shuttle launch."

"Weird, but at least they'll be safe," Xander said.

"Why do you have a list of places to loot?" Willow asked as she looked over what Xander had written.

"Because there are things we need or could use, that we don't have the time or money to get legally," Xander replied. "Once the apocalypse starts, everyone who'd object to me shopping will probably be too busy dying to care what I do."

"The liquor store I could maybe see, but the video store?" Willow asked.

"Alcohol has a number of uses and the liquor store also carries cigarettes and condoms, among all the rest," Xander replied. "As for the video store, it's on the bottom of the list because it's a target of opportunity like Radio Shack, B Daltons and Toys 'R' Us. See, even if we all become bisexual swingers in the next five minutes, we'd still need something more to do for entertainment than each other after a few months at sea.

"Point," Oz said, breaking the awkward silence that Xander didn't even seem to notice as he started working on his lists again.

"Did you cover feminine hygiene?" Buffy asked Xander.

"Part of looting the pharmacy," Xander said absently. "A few boxes isn't going to be enough, so I was planning on emptying the store room."

"Port-a-potties?" Willow questioned.

"For on deck," Xander replied. "It's a bit easier than having to go to the tugboats every time you have to go."

"Bathing facilities?" Buffy asked intently.

"The ocean?" Xander shrugged. "There might be a salt water shower on the tugboat."

"Put a lot of moisturizer and skin cream on the list," Buffy suggested.

"Grab some paper and make your own list," Xander said. "The more we each do, the more we'll have in the end and we only have one shot at this."

"Also put down which store you're planning on hitting, so we don't cover the same territory," Oz said as he and Willow started on their list, checking Xander's as they planned theirs out.

"Go for the heaviest stuff first," Xander suggested. "We are going to need generators, diesel type, and solar panels and... stuff to improvise solutions to other problems with."

"Other problems?" Buffy asked.

Xander shrugged. "Stuff comes up, I'm planning ahead."

"Solar panels could power radios and TV and such to monitor how things are going," Willow said.

"And provide entertainment and ice," Xander said.

"Prepackaged meals, MREs," Oz said suddenly.

"Surplus store," Xander replied. "It's one of my stops."

"What if Mom doesn't want to go?" Buffy asked suddenly, recalling her Mom's initial response to her being the slayer.

"I have the tranquilizer gun we use for Oz," Giles said. "She'll come whether she likes it or not."

"Do you have a spare one?" Xander asked.

"Yes, why?" Giles replied.

"That would make cleaning out some of our shopping list easier," Willow said.

"Something like that," Xander agreed. "Once we have our lists done we should get started."

"We can't do much until the U-Haul place opens," Angel pointed out.

"We can let Joyce know what's going on and do a bit of sorting to figure out what to take and leave," Xander replied. "Plus, we need to pack up all of Angel's stuff and Angel in Oz's van."

"I'll rent a van for the day," Oz said, tossing Angel his keys.

"Thanks," Angel said, surprised he hadn't thought of it himself.

"Make sure they have a ramp to drive onto the barge," Xander told Giles. "Normally they do, but let's make sure it's down and ready. I gotta tell my folks and start on my own stuff, I can grab a box truck from my Uncle Rory so I don't have to wait."

"Do you need my help?" Angel asked.

"Maybe, I'll check with you later if I need to," Xander replied, "for now assume I don't."

Angel nodded. "We should start boxing all of Giles books and weapons anyways."

"Yes, we should!" Giles exclaimed suddenly realizing he'd completely forgot that aspect of things.

"Where are Wesley and Cordelia?" Xander asked.

Willow and Buffy exchanged nervous glances causing Xander to frown. "I got it," he said, guessing what they were hiding, "and it doesn't matter. Give them a head's up. Where's the spare tranq pistol?"

"I'll go get it," Giles offered.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Xander stared at the apartment door. He took a deep breath and stepped forward. He rapped a quick 'shave and a haircut' on the door and waited.

The door opened. "Did you forget-" the young girl began then froze on seeing Xander and the gun in his hand.

"I'm here to see Faith," Xander said.

"Sorry, not here," the young girl said nervously, "but she'll be back at any time!"

"It's a tranq pistol," Xander said, trying to soothe her fears. "see?" He held it up and showed her how the dart was loaded in it.

"And that's better?" she asked dumbfounded.

"It's certainly better than killing someone," Xander said.

"That was an accident!" the girl snapped out angrily, her fear forgotten.

"Not what I mean," Xander said, trying to calm her down. "Let me start over. Hello, my name is Xander Harris and I'm here to see Faith Lehane."

"My names Dawn Lehane and I'm not going to let you hurt my sister!" the dark-haired girl said with a glare.

"I don't want to hurt her, I'm trying to save her," Xander said honestly.

"Prove it," Dawn said.

"How?" Xander asked.

"Give me the gun," Dawn said reasonably.

Xander weighed his choices and sighed. "Fine, I'll give you the gun, you let me talk with Faith, alright?"

"Deal," Dawn said, extending a hand.

Xander handed the tranquilizer pistol to the young girl. "Please let her know Xander is here and desperately needs to talk to her. We have an apocalypse-"

*PFFFT*

Xander looked down at the dart in his leg. "How am I going to save her now?" he asked as his vision started to dim and everything went black.

TYPING BY: Lohoydo

TN: It's a common joke in BtVS fanfiction of Dawn taking a tranq gun and net and chasing after Xander in Africa. I wanted to make an Omake about her deciding time travel and changing history to get him here was easier than going to Africa, but I wouldn't have been able to do it justice.