Cards blinked as she looked over the cafeteria table. I felt my mouth hang open, a leaf of lettuce falling from my mouth. "Oh god" I heard her whisper.
"Well we always knew he was trailer trash." Shortie said a "now he's just proven it."
Cards kept on looking at him. I watched her face, watched his. Spot has amazing eyes and he knows how to use them. No cheerleader offers him a muffin at a bake sale, even when they're so desperate they stoop to asking Pie to buy from them they don't ask Spot. He scares them too much I think. Cards is still watching him. I can see her trying to understand what she just saw.
She thinks she holds her hand so close but really we can all see it miles away. She has a huge crush on this kid from lighting. He hardly talks to her and ignores her but she's still his bitch. She turned me down no thought. But f that kid asked her to I dunno, help him clean his room, she'd hitch hike down to get there on time.
But now her entire being is concentrating on Spot, and I can see why, she has this thing for helping people. She wants to know their stories, not in a some day writer way, but in order to understand them. And Spot has just become her number one priority.
She watches him, so I can too. He's really beautiful. I think most people agree on that.
"Shut up Shortie" cards whispers. Her eyes take in the fact that his mouth is open wide in shock. That his eyes show he don't know what's going on. Falco looks shocked, almost less shocked then him. And I see Magic standing back, her eyes down as though she's almost one hundred percent sure she's the cause of this. But Cards only sees Spot.
I gulp. I don't want her to keep getting hurt. I'm not that hurt by her out of hand rejection of me, I expected it, maybe that's why I asked her. I debate telling her something I think she already knows.
But right now she's wrapped up in the reasoning behind what just happened. Magic rushes in and Falco starts yelling at her.
"You stupid whore! No wonder no boy will date you! You just FUCK everyone! You can't be happy with taking a different boy home every night and ruining your own reputation!" She's mad. Madder I think at Magic then at the boy who just slapped her. Spot's still in shock.
"I didn't!" And then a one-sided cat fight erupts.
Cards is still looking at Spot, her cool blue eyes resting on his. He turns to her and I can almost see the questions she wants to ask him but even if she slept with him she wouldn't get the guts to ask.
I turn to watch Specs. I hope it isn't as obvious that I have a huge crush on him as it is that Cards wants to do Charlie. Hotshot has separated herself from him and they're in a heated discussion.
I did mention I was gay right? Well I am. And I want to go out with Cards to convince myself that I can live without the hot boy who I want to do. That would be Specs. He' plays Mark in the production of Rent we're doing. I haven't told anyone. Liberals are funny in the way they're for everything, in theory.
The principle has pulled Falco off Magic and Spot disappeared a while ago. I'm sure Cards can fill me on what happened later. But now I need a private moment. Most people don't notice when I do it.
I get quiet and don't notice what's going on around me.
It's something that my father used to do apparently. My mom left him when I was little. We're from the Northeast Kingdom, if you don't know what that is just think of those redneck jokes.
No one looks like a redneck though, my dad was very handsome, and my mother extremely beautiful. They were the prizes of the high school, Prom king and queen. I was conceived that night. And like a Bruce Springsteen song they got shotgun marriage. My dad hated it. My mom hated the kingdom. A divorce was filed only after she was settled. I think my dad remarried a few years ago, but we aren't really in contact with him.
I look over at Specs. He looks enraged at one of the many things that happened. And all I can think of is how much I want him. But I only allow myself a few glances at him, his body and his form.
I bite my tongue to stop from saying anything. I close my eyes and think.
The most relaxing feeling in the world is separating from you. That's why I love acting so much, just being able to do that. The separation of self from body, I mean. Is enthralling. When I can create a character that has done so much.
Cards gulps pulling me from my reverie "Dutchy! They're taking them all away!" I see the teachers dragging a kicking and screaming Falco away, Magic tugged Stop, pulling him up.
"Wonder why the kid did it" Shortie said loudly.
"I have no idea."
"Cards, don't" I say softly. But I can already see her. She's gunna fall for him. Stupid Masochist.
Author's notes: Okay so its shorter and less cogent then most of my stuff. But it's moving in the right direction.