Author's Note: This is a brief one-shot fic that I had the idea for a long time ago. I never really got around to writing it because I simply didn't… want to/feel like it… but, those days are long gone -_-;; It's not that long, and it's a Daisuke/Hikari friendship fic, so don't worry "hardcore Takari fans"… this has nothing to do with the Daikari coupling (sadly).  ^-~ But I will dedicate it to my sister's former Daikari page, ..::over.looked::... She's still rambling about "converting people" and stuff… oh well. Please review if you liked it! BTW, I think Himawari means something like Sunflower. I'm not so sure…

Unnecessary disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing about it. And yes, I did sorta switch Utada Hikaru's name around a bit. If you wish to sue me for that or some other reason, you probably won't get much money from me, but I do have a nice plastic pony named Bill up for grabs. =D Contact the small people's court in your area for details.

 Himawari
by Tears

Sou ano koro yurete ita

Taiyou no you na himawari

Futari de te wo nobashite

Itsu mademo miteta

*****

It was a fierce cold wind that blew that evening. She didn't know why she went outside that day. Maybe just to get away from her family. Maybe just to get out of her daily routine. Maybe just to get away from Takeru.
She liked Takeru. A lot. She had liked him since they were both only 8 years old. They both became digidestined together, with her, him, his older brother Yamato and her older brother Taichi and their friends. She had to admit that was the last thing she was ready for. She was always sick when she was at home by herself, never had much friends to talk to. And then she met Takeru. She wasn't sick much after that, she had no idea why. Neither did her parents. They assumed it was because she finally found a friend. One she could trust.
They grew up together. They did everything together. They even had their first kiss together. But now she shuddered to think about it. She was only 15. Everyone told her she wasn't ready for a serious relationship, but she didn't listen to them. They listened to no one. Soon, Hikari's close relationship with Taichi began to fade. He went out with Sora. She was like his refuge from Hikari, she found. He would spend more time with her than he spent with his own sister. She understood. He was getting older and didn't have the time to be sitting around with his sister and her boyfriend. She was 16, then. When she couldn't take her family nagging her about everything, she ran off to Takeru's house in the middle of the night.

Things happened.

Things they told no one about.

She couldn't bring herself to terms to tell her parents that she'd slept with Takeru that night. Those nights. She was only 16, after all. What would her parents think of her? They'd lose all faith and trust in her. As if they hadn't already. But she feared most about Taichi losing all trust in her. Even though they hardly spent any time together, they were still very close. What would he think of her if he found out? He'd probably kill Takeru. Hikari sighed. Her brother was always getting mad for every single reason possible. That's just how he was.
Despite all her contemplations, she couldn't seem to keep herself away from him. From Takeru. She was 17 now. Sitting down at the park on the bench under the large willow tree by the soccer field. A child growing in her stomach.

She couldn't take it.

She wanted to cry. She wanted so much to be a normal teenager. She almost wished she'd never met Takeru. She wished she'd stayed sick at home when she was 8, that she never met any of them and never gotten the crest. The Crest of Light, somehow, people still believed she possessed. But she found no light in her anymore. Nowadays all she ever thought about was… how death was like. Was it painful? How much seconds would it take? Would anyone seriously care?

She sniffed. The autumn air wasn't good for her. Or the child. She knew that. But she couldn't stay at home any longer. He mother had briefly walked up to her and examined her oddly that afternoon. Hikari didn't understand. She continued on as usual, but just before dinner, her mom asked her, "Hikari, have you put on extra weight?" She stopped dead in her tracks. So did Taichi, for some reason, and he looked at her too.

"Now that you mention it," Taichi began, circling her strangely. Hikari didn't reply either of them. She pulled her shirt over her stomach quickly and sighed, facing them both.

"I think so," Hikari replied, slowly. "…I should probably go for a walk." She decided, heading towards the door.

"But what about dinner?"

"It's okay, I'm not hungry." She replied, grabbing her jacket off the post by the door. "Thanks anyway." She sighed, heading out the door and shutting it behind her.

And she'd been there since. She didn't wanna leave. Evening grew on faster, but it wasn't nearly dark yet. She knew Takeru said he was gonna call her later in the night, but she didn't want to go back home. She couldn't talk to him that day. She sat on the bench, humming to herself. Her favorite song was Fly Me to the Moon, which Hikaru Utada sang. She wished she could go to the moon. Or very far away. Like… America. She'd always wanted to go back. Maybe Wallace would take care of her…? But if he found out, he'd probably tell Taichi too.

"Everything is so complicated." She told herself. "…in other words, please be true… in other words, I love you…" she sang to herself slowly, rubbing on her stomach gently. She stared ahead at the lofty grass with a gazed look. She didn't have the strength to tell her parents. And even if she did, she wouldn't want to. Her mom would cry, she knew that for sure. Her brother would kill Takeru, that was a high chance too. Her dad would probably kick her out of the house. She sighed. Everything was going in the wrong direction. "…if only I could end it." She muttered to herself.

A black and red soccer ball rolled up at her feet. She recognized it, but had no time to think of from where. She continued to hum to herself, and gaze straight ahead. Someone walked up to it, wearing a red and white soccer uniform. She honestly thought the shorts were a bit odd, it was pretty cold and wasn't summer anymore. The person picked up the ball and held it as they sat down beside her. "Hmm," he began, slowly. "I figured if I rolled a soccer ball by your foot, it'd get your attention better than me just coming out of nowhere and sitting beside you."

She noticed he was looking at her with his same cocky look. He always had that, she noticed. He wasn't wearing his goggles and his hair looked damp. Probably from one of his water tricks gone wrong. She smiled inwardly. "Daisuke," she said, trying not to sound so tired. "Hi." She said, briefly, but didn't speak anymore than that.

"You okay?" he asked, in a low voice, suspecting she probably didn't wanna speak. She shook her head. She didn't know why. She didn't really wanna tell him why. "What happened?"

"Nothing," she said, suddenly. He cocked an eyebrow at her, obviously not believing her. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just tired." She laughed, nervously. He wasn't believing it, still. "I'm serious, Daisuke."

"Oh really?" he asked, twirling the soccer ball in his hands. "You should be inside calling Takeru." He said, with a slight edge to his voice. Hikari noticed he always got jealous whenever he mentioned Takeru. She knew he used to have a slight obsessive crush on her, but he had his share of girlfriends over the years. He was over her, but it wasn't obvious. "Unless he died."

"I wish I would've," she muttered.

Obviously not quiet enough. Daisuke stopped twirling his soccer ball and set it in his lap. He sighed, throwing his head back and then turned to look at her. She looked like she wasn't telling the truth. "So," he began, slowly. "Feeling down on your luck, huh?" When she turned to look at him, he turned away. "It happens to me a lot. You just have to learn… to think over what you're thinking about." He looked at her, solemnly. "Get it?"

"No," Hikari shook her head, but couldn't help but smile. "You have no idea what I'm thinking and I thought over it… a lot." She sniffed, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "And I always come to the same conclusion, you know?" she wiped her eyes before the tears could fall. Or before Daisuke could notice. He already did, but pretended he didn't. He knew Hikari; you needed to give her her space or she got angry. Fierce. Feisty. Just angry. "What if it never happened?"

"What kinds of things did you think before it happened?" Daisuke asked, thoughtfully. Hikari looked at him with soaked eyes. "Did you think it was a good idea? Did you know something like this would happen-"

"Why aren't you asking me what happened?" Hikari asked, tiredly. She sniffed again. "You don't even know what happened."

"Whatever happened," he began. "Isn't any of my business, so I basically figured I shouldn't ask." He shrugged.

"God," she muttered. She wanted to tell him. She knew she could trust him. She knew he was a good friend. He never went back on his word. He didn't get the crest of friendship for nothing, did he? But she couldn't find any better way to tell him. Daisuke, I'm gonna have a baby. That was too straightforward. She couldn't come to terms with that one. So she thought. "…if you ever had a child, what would you name them?" 

Daisuke was always a bit slow. He found things as easy as they came, and never bothered to think unless it was something he couldn't understand. He considered that he understood what she said. "Depends if it's a boy or a girl, right?" he asked, turning to look at her. She couldn't help but smile and laugh a little, but didn't say anymore. His eyes darted between her face and her… stomach. He knew he shouldn't have been looking. But it was more like him than not. He wasn't gonna tell her, but he noticed… something. "Oh," he said, looking away quickly. "Hmm…" The child. A kid. Okay, I get it. "…I didn't know it was that bad."

Hikari sighed, and thought for awhile. She decided to take Daisuke's advice and think about what she was thinking about. I read a book once. Death is the easiest way out of anything. I don't want to be a loser in life. She told herself that over and over again, but she got images of herself being kicked out of the house by her dad. She couldn't seem to choose.

"Takeru, huh?" he asked with a slight edge in his voice. Hikari looked over at him and nodded, slightly. "He beat me to it." He grinned, childishly. Hikari smiled too. He could always cheer her up, no matter what. But her thoughts wandered back to the situation. Her frown reappeared. "What did Taichi say?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I never told him." She answered, slowly. "Or my parents."

"I figured that." Daisuke nodded. Hikari said nothing. "Just remember they have a right to know. Who knows…" he turned to look at her. "Maybe Taichi killing Takeru would be the only bad thing that happens."

"…how…?" she began, but trailed off. How had he known that? That was basically what she thought. But then she remembered that Daisuke knew Taichi too, and he was guessing that was what was gonna happen. If he knew Daisuke, that was what he was hoping. "…Daisuke," she began. "…I'm scared. I don't wanna tell them. I don't know what they're gonna say."

"You just don't wanna know." He told her. She looked at him briefly, and nodded. "Let's put it this way. You're not gonna have a kid, okay?"

"Dai-"

"No, listen, listen," he interrupted, quickly. "…your dad is obsessed with university. He said his daughter-- which would be you-- would get into the best university in Japan. And guess what-- you never got into university. You don't wanna tell your dad, because you're afraid…" he thought for awhile. "…you're afraid he'll kick you out."

"Daisuke?"

"Not now," he continued. "But you know you have to tell him. Your dad loves you. He wouldn't do anything that bad to you."

"Yes he-" she stopped herself, and he gave her a questioning look. "He wouldn't."

"Honesty is the best policy." He nodded. "Even if you didn't get into university, your dad would know that you tried and that's what you have to show for it. Judgment reflects a person's soul, after all." He grinned at himself for the philosophy.

"What are you trying to say?" Hikari asked, testily. "That I tried to get pregnant?"

"…there are reasons." Daisuke shrugged. Hikari kept her stare on him locked. "…don't tell me, Hikari Yagami, that you didn't know what would happen. Don't tell me you didn't know what could've happened."

"Ah-" she wanted to speak, but held her tongue. She knew. She knew that she knew. She knew, but she was just so angry. She sighed, and turned back to staring at the ground. "…I was so angry." She began. Daisuke turned to look at her, soccer ball in hand. "My parents… they thought I didn't know how to decide things for myself. They told me I was way too young to be in a serious relationship, and be serious about Takeru. I told them I was, and they kept bringing my age into everything. I hated it. I kept reminding them that they were my age when they fell in love, and they were only 20 when they had Taichi. They shouldn't be telling me anything about…" she mumbled. Tears were beginning to form, and she wished they'd go away. They picked the wrong time. "…but I'm only 17. I'm not supposed to be having a kid when I'm 17. It's not… right, I guess you could say." She turned to look at him. He looked thoughtful, and she loved it. But she didn't know why he cared so much. She couldn't quite figure it out.

"If that's what you think right is," he shrugged.

"Daisuke," Hikari began. "…why do you care so much… about me?"

"Because you're my friend, Hikari," he told her, simply. "Tell me it's not right that I care about you when something's wrong and you're crying, and I won't."

"I'm not crying." She said, looking away from him to wipe her eyes.

"Hmm," he shrugged. When she was done wiping her eyes, she continued to stare at the ground. The grass seemed so peaceful. She wished she could be that way. "…don't worry about it." He told her. She flashed him another fiery look. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

"…what?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"…I…" she stuttered slowly. "…well. I was thinking… that I could live my whole life somewhere else, and not tell anyone about anything. I was thinking I could go far away from everyone… even Takeru."

"Is that what you want?" he asked, quietly. She looked at him, puzzled, "Is that what you really want? More than anything right now-- to be far away?"

"…I guess so." She answered. "…I want to go to the moon." She smiled to herself. "Far, far away…"

"Think about it." He told her, getting up, with the soccer ball still in his hand.

"About what?" she got up too. "About what I'm thinking about?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Ready to go home?" he asked, twirling the soccer ball in his hands.

"…sure."

******

The day and night passed quickly. Hikari knew it was the worst time possible to leave her house. She'd told them. Her mother was crying, her father was just thinking. Taichi wasn't there, luckily. Her parents said they'd tell him when he got back. She needn't worry about it. She hugged her parents, and thanked God they were so forgiving. She took her jacket and left for the park.

On that same bench, she sat and thought. She hadn't talked to Takeru since. She knew she probably should've. It wasn't doing any good to be away from him, but still be with him at the same time. She noticed the grass swaying, and she began to hum. It reminded her so much… of peace and quiet. Of the moon, probably.
Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love-
A red and black soccer ball rolled up to her feet, out of nowhere. Instead, this time, she picked it up and handed it to Daisuke who had just come to get it. She smiled at him. He grinned, "Hey. I'm glad it finally got your attention."

"Of course," she answered. "…I wanted to thank you for the other day." She told him smiling.

"What happened since then?" he asked sitting beside her. "Did you tell them yet?"

"Yeah," she told him, nodding. "…I listened to what you said. I… thought about it."

"And you thought about that too, right?" he asked her.

"About what?" she asked, a little confused. "About what I was thinking about?"

"Yeah."

"…hmm." She smiled to herself. "Yeah."

"I knew it." He nodded. He turned to look at her, fortunately, "…you're gonna be okay. I know that much."

Hikari smiled, lightly and reached over to give him a hug. It surprised him greatly. She'd never given him a hug on his own free will. It was rather scary. "…thank you for caring."

He replied, "It's my job."

*****

'Cause I'm always by your side

Kimi to sugoshita kisetsu

'Cause I'm always by your side

Taisetsu na takaramono datta yo

That's the end of the story… I think it's nice. =D Please review if you liked it! I'd really, really appreciate it… and, no, it wasn't a Daikari no matter what you think! Although I love Daikari!! ^-~ It had hints of Takari… so… there you go. (I've been watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding too much…) See you later.

Tears
- sunshinie@moonshinehollow.com