Fore-Note : Hello, I am Giorno Giovanna from Spacebattles. Yes this is crossposted from SB Creative Writing section and thus would naturally slower to update compared to SB thread.

The original title on SB is : Bringing Gods' Blessing in This Utterly Cursed World.
The title is different here, but the content is still the same, bar some minor changes like two shorter SB chapters being cobbled into one for easier management.

As per 11 August 2018, I decides to repair the jumbled up grammars and mistyped stuffs due to having new group of beta-readers and those two guys end up suggesting me to repair this fic from the start. I also made minor adjustment to parts... so... maybe re-reading this will worth it...

In essence : Kazuma and Megumin end up stranded in Winterfell, for better or worse, there are a group of adventurers led by gullible Edmure Tully end up doing Aqua's idiotic whim across Westeros, while in the East, exiled Prince Viserys Targaryen is saddled with Masochistic young noble lady while plotting for his eventual return to reclaim the Iron Throne.

Minor crossover with various Mythological beings mentioned liberally along the way

So without much further ado...

...

PROLOGUE : KAZUMA

"My head..." I awoke in a familiar room, oh well, died again, died again. But at least now there are Megumin and Darkness in this familiar room as well, alongside the Goddess Eris, who was seated in front of us. Goddess Eris smiled gently and raised her arms toward us, mentioning us to stand up and took the seats, which for somewhat reasons quickly materialize when we started to stand up.

I looked at my two comrades and smiled, "Well, I hope Aqua is quick enough to revive us this time, point blank suicide by explosion always a messy business."

"Did I take out the Demon King with us?" stuttered Megumin weakly.

"That was ~Ahh... Maaaa... zinnngggg~ Megumin!" said Darkness seductively. "If I knew such ~pain~ and ~sensations~ exist before. Wait, Aqua already revived us, yes?"

"I'm sorry but you are not revived yet, it seems that Aqua-senpai already overjoyed at the defeat of The Demon King so much, she ends up literally barging into Celestial Bureaucracy Office as soon as the full extent of her Goddess Powers returned, and in her hurry, it seems that she forgot to revive the three of you," said Goddess Eris with sad voice and both Megumin and Darkness paled at this revelation. I myself already making 50-50 bet that the useless Aqua would end up somehow forgetting about us if the Demon King ends up defeated this way, that selfish egomaniac Goddess literally had the attention span of a goldfish.

"What?" Megumin's jaw dropped.

"Aqua is really Goddess of that fucknut Axis cult?" Darkness grabbed her somehow existing pendant signaling her devotion to Goddess Eris.

"I told you so."

"But... Kazuma... t... that means..." said Darkness weakly. "Aqua really was a Goddess?"

"That would not be a problem in the first place, anyway, congratulations for defeating the Demon King, to all of you," said Goddess Eris trying to cheer us up, but it didn't lift the sour mood among us at all. "Umm, Kazuma may already know about me, as he has died and revived rather repeatedly, but I assume it is time for me to make my introduction. As you might guess, my name is Eris, and I am in charge of this realm."

Darkness suddenly stood up straight and quickly drop to her knees, kneeling in formal knightly posture "Eris-sama, it is an honor to be in your Holy Presence."

"My my, there's no need for such formalities Darkness."

"You know my name?"

"Of course, I do, I have always been watching over you Darkness, or should I say, lady Lalatina of House Dustiness?" said Goddess Eris and at the sound of her formal name, Darkness' face slightly reddened. "Well, and stop those tears, I didn't mean to..."

"These are my tears of joy! If meeting Eris-sama requires the condition of death, I will gladly die hundreds of times!" said Darkness while her face turned into pure bliss. Both I and Megumin exchanged glances that we both understood Darkness' true motives.

"Please don't do that," said Goddess Eris while bothering to stand up from her seat and gently lift Darkness hand so she stood up again. "Kazuma's circumstances of his repeated revival is... unique... to be precise."

While Darkness and Goddess Eris seems to exchange what a devout believer of Eris would say when she met her Goddess, I looked at Megumin again and already see her eye to a particular part of Eris' divine anatomy.

"Umm, Eris-sama, Aqua... is really a Goddess, is she?" questioned Megumin.

"Correct, and..."

"She speaks truth most of the time right?"

"Yes? So?"

"She said 'Eris pads her chest, is that true?"

The scandalized look on both Goddess Eris' and Darkness' face is hilarious, said Goddess herself stuttered in defense. "That Aqua senpai! That wasn't..."

Before Eris could finish her talk, Megumin already walked there, brazenly pinch and pull that certain part of Goddess Eris' chest, resulting in her taking one of the Goddess' breast pad in her hand.

"Padded I see..." said Megumin mischievously. "Aqua was right all along! Eris pads her chest!"

"It wasn't my fault!" said Goddess Eris while quickly putting her arms to cover her now half-padded breasts.

Darkness unsheathed her sword and raised it "Megumin! You dare to blaspheme the Goddess Eris-sama! How dare you!". Geez, those two idiots just died and now they already make such ruckus in Eris' abode? I could try to lurk back and hope after everything said and done, I would be the one left standing and hopefully not getting any kind of Goddess' wrath poured upon me, but considering my luck when both of those idiots dragged me to their problems.

I sighed and wedged myself between Darkness and Megumin. "Megumin, please, return Eris-sama's breast pad, that was rude," I said to Megumin while stretching my hand to not let Darkness slash Megumin with her sword. "Eris-sama, I hope you would forgive this transgression of my stupid party member."

Eris nodded to Darkness, giving her an understanding look and Darkness sheathe her sword back. "Please hand over my breast pad and I would let this slide without further accident." Megumin pouted but in the end, she politely hands over the breast pad to Eris, who quickly turn around. "Darkness, please cover Kazuma-san's eyes."

"Wait, what..." before I could say that I would not dare to look at a Goddess padding her breast, Darkness already forcefully hugged my head and smother me with her ample bosom, causing me to have difficulty breathing... wait, she still wears her iconic armor in the afterlife, and I could only wince in pain as my face pressed into hard adamantine plate, yes there's her breasts behind the plate, but it was really, really hard and uncomfortable.

"Kazuma... ~look at my breasts~ don't look at the Goddess', that would be blasphemy!" said Darkness while I could only resign myself to enjoy the adamantine hell my face is subjected into for a time.

"Darkness, I appreciate that, but there is no need to do such a thing." I could hear Goddess Eris after a time. "I think you would simply use your hands, not..."

"Anything for you, Eris-sama!" proclaimed Darkness. "Even as I must satiate the ~lust~ of this ~ravishing~ Kazuma" all while she released my face from her grab.

"I would appreciate more if you open your armor first and let my face rest on the softer parts inside, not that armor plate!"

"But you still ~enjoy~ this, well? Goddess Eris-sama, must I..."

"There's no need to do that, Kazuma-san didn't look at my breasts either, so this is fine," said Goddess Eris with a smile before...

"I didn't want to look at such small chests either, I still prefer Darkness' oppai." I said that without thinking, and as I look at the now even more shocked face of Goddess Eris, and how red Darkness' face over my unthinking insult to her Goddess. "Uh, sorry! That was my fault! I speak without thinking! My face is still sore being pressed to Adamantine plates! Ahh! Darkness! Put your sword down! Put your sword down!"

"Humiliating me is fine, but humiliating Goddess Eris-sama is blasphemy!" shouted Darkness while she swings her blade wildly, forcing me to run across the room of afterlife while Darkness' clumsy slashes already broke down Eris' seats and some chairs.

"Please tell me where I can purchase such deceptive breast pads!" begged Megumin. "I wanted my breasts to be bigger! Why Yunyun and Darkness all get those jugs and I left with nothing!"

"Uh... you just died and all you ask is how to make your breasts looks bigger?" asked Goddess Eris with sweatdrops forming on her face. "My my... you're weirder than your teammates aren't you? And Darkness, Kazuma... please stop."

"This is all started with your fault Megumin!" I shouted after Darkness stopped chasing me. "If you don't..."

Thankfully, Eris put her finger on my mouth and smiled. "Ssh, you said you don't mind if they're padded previously, I understand you claimed you don't want to look at my breasts out of politeness. So we all knew that you three are true companions, and so does Aqua."

Oh well, Goddess Eris is really a nice girl, after all, she even said things in my defense, even as I just inadvertently insult her. My respect for her just grew twice bigger in this regard.

"She left us dead!" shouted Megumin.

"With her power returned, Aqua-senpai could literally revive you as she pleased now. My my, as a Goddess, I already knew your dispositions. desires, and such beforehand. Don't look at me like that, with the Demon King defeated there will be rewards..." said Eris but Megumin quickly cut her out.

"I wish for the ultimate ability to brought ULTIMATE EXPLOSION! And also I would like my breasts to be as big as Darkness' jugs! Thank you!" said Megumin.

"As you... already... knew... my... P... Please resurrect the Demon King and have me be his... ~his sex slave~!" said Darkness.

Eris visibly recoiled at Darkness' sudden change in disposition from loyal worshipper to worthless degenerate soon after admitting she already knew her desires. Of course, Megumin's wishes would sound downright normal compared to Darkness' wishes. I want to chime in, but as I knew my foot-in-mouth tendency, I decided to shut up this time.

"I... I am sorry but resurrecting Demon King is... f... forbidden..." said Eris in a rather nice way, causing Darkness to frown.

"Oh, well..."

"ERIS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" said a newcomer who literally barged into our dimension/room/whatever in a flash, and in front of us, stood Aqua in all her divine glory as Goddess, which is not too much except her Hagoromo is now floating with Divine Aura.

"I... I am sorry Senpai! I am very sorry! What happened?" said Eris while bowing to Aqua like a junior being bullied by her senior.

"Wait, why haven't you revived us! Idiot!" shouted Megumin.

"Oh, why are you three here?" said Aqua as if she did nothing wrong, and I put my palm on my face.

"Aqua, you're supposed to revive us! Not run away to claim your seat as Goddess on Earth at the first moment!" I tried to moderate the situation. Oh well, maybe she would remember and we could soon go back to our previous lives.

"Eh... well... I... I forgot..."

"So this is how you repay us?!" I said as I pinched Aqua's cheeks, causing her to yowled in pain. Goddess or not, I don't freaking care at this point, she is not Eris-sama and deserves this.

"Stop it! Stop it Kazuma!" said Aqua, but soon afterward Darkness whacked her head with the hilt of her sword, causing a big, red, nasty, blinking bump to appear on her head.

"And that was for bullying Goddess Eris!"

"I am her superior you idiot!" shouted Aqua before Megumin joined in and whacked her head with her staff, causing the second bump, all while I continue to pinch her cheeks. "Yamete yamete! It hurts! Please stop!"

"Cough! Cough!" Eris coughed, politely reminding us that we, for all reasons, are still died and now existing in the afterlife. "Please forgive Aqua-senpai, she did not mean harm. We could talk about rewards after you three take some time to decide after Aqua-senpai revives..."

"Your worshipers already cremated my friends' bodies soon after they found their corpses! What the fuck are you thinking Eris?!" shouted Aqua angrily.

"Ano..." Eris scratched her head and waved, a kind of floating monitor appeared, and yes, in that monitor, all of us could see the destruction our last suicide Explosion took the Demon King while our corpses still left there... and night become day, day become night, night become day, day become night, the night become day, and then some crusaders and priests of Eris Faith could be seen entering the ruins that are previously Demon King's castle. They found our bodies, treated them with respect and full honors of fallen heroes, respectfully collected the parts, washed them, and put them in well-made coffins, before holding a lavish cremation ceremony ostensibly to honor our sacrifices. With Princess Iris crying at the forefront in the King's arms, the King himself standing stoically, a single manly tear shed at his chiseled face, Darkness' father and Megumin's parents and sister all mopping in sadness under the cremation pyre. Yunyun could be seen trying to stand stoically but her shaking gives off her real sadness, while the rest of the Adventurers we knew bow their heads in a solemn salute. Even Wiz and Vanir visibly cried in the crowd.

"My my... you forgot to revive them! For Days! Of course, my worshipers would do the last rites!" said Eris in exasperation. Aqua's eyes widened in shock while she awkwardly looks down at her fingers.

"I... I forgot... to consider the different flow of time in the Gods' realm compared to your realm..." stuttered Aqua.

"You're a useless Goddess!"

"Give me back my life!"

"I didn't mind dying myself but why are you doing this to my father!"

"Ano, I am sorry then, with your physical bodies destroyed, continuing your life as yourselves in my world is out of the question, honestly," said Eris with genuine sadness at her face. "I could, however, ensure you to be reborn in the same family. Megumin's parents are still young and they could have another child in the future, I could ask the higher-ups in the celestial bureaucracy to ensure that with subtle influences. While with the death of his sole heir, Darkness' father may remarry and get himself another child out of duty, I could too, ensure..."

"What about me!"

"And Kazuma-san, you could be born into a noble family there, or would you like to be Princess Iris' younger brother? That could be arranged..."

"Halt." said another newcomer in the room, a young man with long hair, thin beard, and mustache, wearing some kind of thorny crown on top of his head.

"Aqua, we're looking for you." said another young man with curly hair neatly put in a small bun on top of his head with a red dot on his forehead, and his earlobe seems to be longer than usual.

Wait, why I seem to recognize both of them...

"Jesus-sama! Buddha-sama!" said both Goddess while quickly prostrating themselves in front of those two.

Holy shit, what the fuck is this celestial bureaucracy thing! I thought Aqua and Eris was some random deities that actually exist, and now both Christian and Buddhist gods appeared?! And looking at how both Aqua and Eris quickly refers to them as of very clearly higher position, I decided to not take the chances offending either of them and prostrating myself as well, particularly in the direction of Buddha as the more familiar figure in my life. Seeing how quickly her Goddess prostrate her divine self in front of another divine being, Darkness soon followed suit, leaving only Megumin standing in confusion.

"Who are you?" questioned Megumin. "Aren't those thorny crown painful?"

"Megumin! These are real Gods! Kneel!" I said to her in an effort to bring her to her senses.

"What do you imply! Am I not real!" said Aqua in irritation.

Much to my surprise, however, Buddha and Jesus just laughed, seemingly ignoring Megumin, and Buddha, in particular, raised his hand toward me.

"Satou Kazuma, we knew your suffering. And we feel bad about your first death back on earth, seeing as we are there when you died. You know, Jesus also bought a thing at the same store as you, as we happened to live in the apartment near the place of your death that time." said Buddha calmly. "But at that time we concealed our identity."

"And as we later knew, you're our teammate in the MMORPG, of course, we felt bad," said Jesus. "It is because of us, you pull consequential three nights all-nighter."

Wait, what? Why Jesus and Buddha living in Tachikawa? Jesus and Buddha was my party member? My jaw dropped at the revealing of such situation.

"Seriously?"

"Yes Kazuma, I am the one whose nickname is Sid_H #+A, the level 87 Monk specializing in bare-fisted fight and ki attacks, while Jesus is Not_Jack_Sparrow, level 90 elven sniper."

"Wait, are they Japan's Gods?" questioned Megumin. "And Aqua?"

"Buddha is, but Jesus is more of Western..."

"Satou Kazuma, would you like to achieve the state of Nirvana, or would you like to be reincarnated back on Earth? Or go to Heaven?" asked Buddha.

"May... may I ask for a time? I would like to learn what awaits me at the end of my choices, and what would happen if I reincarnate back to Earth. It is still..."

"Take your time, my child," said Jesus softly. "And now to the business then," said Jesus while looking at a certain blue-haired, idiot Goddess named Aqua.

"J... Jesus-sama... I think we agree to restore my Godhood after Kazuma's party slain the Demon King, aren't we?" Aqua trying to say in her cutest face, which only earns her an unamused look from both Jesus and Buddha.

"Yes, you are already restored to Godhood," said Buddha.

"Great! Then can I took my former place as Guide-Goddess of Earth again? Pretty Please..."

"No Aqua, you're often drunk at your work, and has a long history of abusing your powers," said Jesus while producing a scroll with a very long list written in there. "The cream on top would be said Demon King is actually your fault, to begin with, as do the various disasters and tragedies that struck Eris' realm."

"Please not banish me again!" Aqua cried, and deep in my heart, I could only pity the idiot Goddess. Now, there are real Gods who judged her actions, so much for being a Goddess meant a consequence-free life. "I don't wanna be a fallen Goddess! Please don't lock me up!"

Actually being a demon would fit Aqua better, considering her personality, but I am actually amazed on how Jesus and Buddha just exchanged knowing looks on their faces.

"Nope, you just got a transfer Aqua, there's a realm in dire need of a divine being to ensure they are not overrun by Demons. You know your father's old realm, right?" said Jesus softly. Wait, Aqua has a father? Wait, so the divinity is just another humanlike society? There's a lot of questions pounding my head right now.

"My father's... Old realm?" Aqua ceased her cry and started smiling like an idiot again. "Oh well? I never visited them for literally thousands of years! How are they now?"

"Well, as you already knew, your father was already demoted into a clerk in Tartarus for his... incompetence... the Council of the Gods decides to give you a second chance to improve... that realm... but beware, there are Four Greater Demon Kings already set their claws in that Realm. The Great Other, The Night's King, R'hllor, and The Seven Faced Usurper. All of them are the ones who brought down your father and his companions, even as his influence lingered and corrupted. Who knows, you would redeem his name in the end." said Jesus while Buddha only nods at the mention.

"They beat down the Gods assigned there, locking the Old Gods up and become false Gods demanding to be worshipped by the populations. There are still some minor deities around, but they're too weak to oppose them. Your father, the Water-God-Who-Drowned, are able to escape the Seven-Faced Usurper's clutch while he and R'hllor battled, but he chooses to escape without regards of his followers there. Your father can't be really blamed, but it was... well... actually his fault in some ways, but it would be for the later time." added Buddha.

"In short, you are appointed as the new Drowned Goddess to replace the former Drowned God," said Jesus while gesturing his hand to make a portal. "You may go, further pieces of information would be given once you arrive there. Be careful, it is a backwater, stagnant, demon infested, and it is a very cruel world."

"But what about my friends?" said Aqua while mentioning to the three mortal souls existing in this very room.

"Backwater, stagnant, demon-infested... wait, would there be much ~pain~ and ~suffering~ in that world?" said Darkness a little too eagerly.

"Sure, if you wish, you could reincarnate on that world, my child. But I think you might want to consider Heaven, Nirvana, or being reincarnated anywhere else but that," said Jesus softly. "You could spend the rest of the eternity in a realm without pain in heaven."

Darkness gasped "A realm without pain!? Heaven sure is Hellish! Hey, if I jumped at that portal, I would be ~reincarnated~ there right?" eagerness is clearly shown in her eyes.

"Uhmmm Jesus, considering her *you know* maybe it would be best if this girl ends up accompanying Aqua, right?" Buddha whispered to Jesus.

"Well, because you all defeated the Demon King in Eris' realm, you three could technically reincarnate with all your memories and skills intact, but beware, in that realm, there is no easy way to improve your skill and you actually need to practice them the hard way," said Jesus.

Just like on Earth then, well.

"Well, thank you Darkness! You really are my best friend!" said Aqua while hugging Darkness, and without much fanfare, both of them simply jumped into the portal, much to Jesus, Buddha, and Eris doing triple facepalms for their rashness.

"Well, two fewer idiots I see," said Jesus in unamused tone. "Now my child, I hope both of you will choose better... You two would choose either Nirvana or Heaven, right?"

"Umm Aqua said heaven is boring at some point, so Buddha, how's Nirvana?" I decided that maybe getting cosmic philosophical awareness would not be a bad thing in the end.

"Good, you would attain perfect peace and happiness there, all while keeping in touch with the cosmic awareness of the multiverse, as you would only need to meditate and focus your mind there. As the one who attained enlightenment myself, I would gladly show you the way..." said Buddha but then I noticed that wait... meditate...? I hate all the Zen Meditation sessions held when I was still in the middle school.

"Wait, are you mean Nirvana is just eternal meditation?"

"Basically yes, there are some benefits and you will be..."

"Then it is boring! Can I reincarnate back to Earth?" I already made up my mind then.

"Oh well, you're a new soul and not yet attracted to enlightenment, after all, I see..." said Buddha with pity in his voice.

"Am I allowed to do my daily Explosion in Heaven?" chirped Megumin while clutching her staff.

"No, and actually there are still rules in Heaven, the rules put in place to keep the peace and tranquility..." said Jesus sternly.

"Then may I reincarnate to this Earth with Kazuma? Re-do our lives together would be better then." Megumin blushed and I was too. Well damn, it is cliche, but at least it would be better for the two of us.

"Well yes, if you wish, you may, that is your rewards after all," said Jesus happily. "In fact, there are some nice places to reincarnate in and start a fresh new life. Kazuma, where would you like to be reincarnated?"

I could start imagining myself and Megumin reborn as childhood friends, going to school together, playing games, having dates, and then I would ask her if she wanted to marry me and she said yes... as soon as she grows into a beautiful woman so I wouldn't be branded as a lolicon. "Ah! Thank you, Lord Jesus!" I said with happy tears on my eyes while prostrating myself in cliche Christian praying position (knowing that Buddha wouldn't mind). "Japan would be best! I would even attend those Christian Churches because of your blessings!"

"There is no need for that my son, as long as you're living a good life and do to others as you want others to do to you..." said Jesus but Megumin cut Jesus' speech.

"Am I allowed to do my daily explosions in Japan!?"

"Actually no, the peace in Kazuma's world meant there are rules against doing such," said Jesus.

"Godsdammit Megumin!" I screamed while grabbing Megumin's hand. "Living on Earth is better! You should try that first!"

"There would be a lot of things where I could practice my explosion upon in Aqua's new realm, right?" asked Megumin.

"Technically yes, there are no such rules there... but..." Jesus stuttered as if want to say something more.

"Then it is settled, we wish to reincarnate there," said Megumin. Wait... wait... *WE*?

"Ano... Megumin..." I tried to bring her back to her senses, but before I could say anything, Megumin already grabbed my hand that grabbed her hand (confusing I know) and jumped into the portal where Darkness and Aqua just jumped sometime before, dragging myself to plunge in as well. Why is my bad luck end up there when better living is at my hands?

"I NEVER WANTED TO DO THIS!" I shouted at the top of my voice, and as I could see, the images of Jesus, Buddha, and Eris goes smaller and smaller and smaller...

"Calm down Kazuma, at least I could ensure that you all would reborn as Nobles! That way you would have a better life than most people there!" said Jesus across the gap, before I could not see them anymore.

"I would make sure you would be near with Goddess Aqua Kazuma, that way you would have friends close by!" the last thing I heard is Buddha's voice, and everything went black.

...

(DISCLAIMER: THE BIRTH OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE CHANGED TO FIT THE KONOSUBA GANG'S RELATIVE AGES)

...

EVENFALL, TARTH, 280 AC

"Welcome, my new daughter!" said Lord Selwyn Tarth while kissing the forehead of his newborn daughter. "Aren't you the pretty one!"

"She's beautiful, my Lord Husband." said his wife.

"Well, I shall name her Brienne, Brienne of House Tarth, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl!"

...

PYKE, IRON ISLES, 282 AC

"My newborn son?" said Balon Greyjoy with disinterest while stopping his conversation with his brothers Euron and Victarion. "Good, get the Drowned man! We would need to baptize my son in the sea! The sooner the better!"

"What is the name you wanted to impart, or should we asked your esteemed father Lord Quellon?" said the midwife.

"I shall name him... Squidwar... wait... I shall name him Theon... Theon of House Greyjoy! That's it, now shoo off, I wanted to make sure our plan of Rebellion to go in the most fantastic fashion! For what is Dead may never Die! But rises again Harder! and Stronger!" said Balon while pumping his fist up in the air.

"As you wish, my Lord."

...

WINTERFELL, NORTH, 286 AC

"So this is my newborn daughter," said Eddard Stark while accepting the small bundle from Old Nan the nanny of Winterfell. "How is my lady wife Catelyn, Old Nan?"

"She is well and recovering fast My Lord. Maester Luwin said she has no problem and would be able to stand again soon after," said Old Nan with a wry smile. "She is a little girl, but then your sister..."

Eddard frowned in sadness, looking that in his arms, he could see Lyanna's face in his newborn daughter, but he sighed, quickly raised his right arm a bit and dispelled the thought with his will.

"I am sorry Milord... but at least, she has such beautiful crimson eyes. I never knew anyone with such trait My Lord."

"It is not your fault, Old Nan." Eddard calmly said while giving his old nanny a reassuring smile. "Wait, crimson eyes?"

Eddard looks toward his crying newborn daughter, and he noticed the two crimson orbs inside of his daughter's eyes, and at least his smile grew.

"She has the eyes of those who were touched by the Gods." Eddard smiled, "A very rare color indeed, it would enhance her beauty greatly."

"Indeed my Lord. But according to old tales..."

"It was just old tales Old Nan, the Crimson Eyes are the mark of beauty, and nothing more, I believe," said Eddard with a smile. "Tell Robb and Sansa, they could see their new sister."

"Immediately my Lord..." said Old Nan. "You already gave her a name would you?"

"Yeah, as I and Catelyn already discussed before, her name is Arya Stark."

...

PART 1 : THEON / KAZUMA

Winterfell, 289 AC

The carriage drove over the thin layer of snow in front of a castle and said the driver of this carriage pulls his rein while barking an order for the horses to stop. I sighed as the bearded man in grey livery who ride in front of carriage said something about the gate, and I could see soldiers wearing Direwolf sigil on their tabards started helping him unpack things from the procession, in which I am included as one of the 'prisoner' of some sort.

Man, I remembered how I first arrive in the previous 'fantasy' world with that useless Goddess Aqua. But at least back then, I arrived ostensibly as a free adventurer in my 16 years old body, while now, I am back at being 6 years old boy (should be 7 in two months tho) and arrived here as some sort of prisoner because my new father is an idiot on par with Aqua. At least my warden / legal guardian, Lord Eddard Stark, who is the bearded man in grey livery, has a rather nice fatherly family man aura, as he opened my shackles once we get in the ship, far from the prying eyes of that Cruel Fat King who attacked my family castle, slain one of my brothers, and forced my father to humiliate himself.

Yes yes, even as a little boy, my memories of previous lives returned rather gradually. I am aware of my past, and up to a point, the ruckus in the afterlife who started all this shit that landed me in this utterly cursed world, as opposed to previous 'standard medieval fantasy world most of the time' or even back then on Earth. I am aware of myself being Satou Kazuma, formerly a Hikikomori while living in Japan, and then hapless adventurer with three idiot party members after my utterly ridiculous death on Earth. But now my name is Theon Greyjoy, the youngest child, and sole surviving son, and thus now the heir of the idiot Lord of Iron Isles, Balon Greyjoy.

"Welcome to Winterfell," said Lord Eddard Stark, still seated on top of his horse while mentioned me to get out from the carriage. "I would not lie to you, but you will live here to ensure your father would be on his best behavior. You already heard King Robert said that if your father rebels again, your life would be forfeit, but I am not a murderer of children, you would be only sent to take the Black if that happens while you are under my protection."

"Yes, Lord Stark." I politely bow to my warden and decided to keep my mouth shut. The very fact that my father is allowed to keep his Lordship of Iron Isles in itself is a genuine miracle, or maybe Aqua did pull the strings to ensure I get the inheritance behind the scene. But considering how stupid Aqua is, my bet would be simply my dumb luck.

"Good, I hope you would be always on your best behavior here," said Lord Stark with a wry smile while he dismounts, hands the reins to a waiting stable boy, and behind him, I could see the small welcoming committee already wait for him, I could see a lady with auburn hair welcoming Lord Stark with kisses on the cheeks, must be his wife then, and behind her, I could see a boy around my age and a girl who should be slightly younger waiting behind their mother's long skirt, both have auburn shades although generally, they look more like their mother, especially with the blue eyes of them, very distinctive when compared with Lord Stark, who has dull grey eyes. No matter though, with all the affections and love there, Lord Eddard Stark must be a nice, good family man.

I could see Lord Stark speaking something with the boy, and said boy walks over to the place where I am standing still in confusion.

"Come." said the boy with a naive smile on his face. "Father asked me if I could get you to your new room while he has an important meeting with the other Northern Lords. He would check on you as soon as he has time."

Oh well, at least I would bet that this family is definitely a nicer family compared to my birth family, considering that Lord Stark actually treat me as his guest instead of a prisoner, with him asking his own son to do the introduction alongside maybe two or three lightly armed guards. I decided to play along and politely nod my head.

"Great, just follow Jory! He's the one who wears that ten wolves head sigil on his tabard." said the boy. "And my name is Robb Stark, hope we will become good friends," said Robb while offering me his hand to shake upon.

Oh well, he looks innocent enough and back home at Pyke, I didn't really have any friends for a six years old, so well, while I still keep tally that my true age should be 23 (17 years when I died and going), I should do something common 6 years old do and I decided to shake his hand as well.

"Theon, my name is Theon Greyjoy."

And before long, I could see Robb's little sister following behind us, her bright auburn hair already long enough to be wrapped around her neck. I tried to look at her, but she averts her eyes with blushes appearing on her cheeks. I rolled my eyes and decided to not pay her any more attention.

"She is Sansa, my first sister, she is five years old." chirped Robb happily and I could only give a polite nod to this information while remembering the faces of my two late brothers, and the sole elder sister I left back at home.

I didn't really know my two elder brothers, not that I liked them. For all my luck, my late eldest brother is someone named Rodrik, already 21 years old Pirate Captain when he died in the very harebrained rebellion that results in me getting exiled to this place called Winterfell, and I never really knew him other than exchanging nods when we're met each other. My second elder brother is 19 years old bully named Maron, I knew him better, that was mostly because he is a mischievous guy who often picks on me or my sister Asha, but for all his bullying, he ultimately loved us and at the end committed to being a warrior through and though, as he died defiantly fighting the cruel Fat King defending our family Castle at the Pyke, I could still remember he raised his axe defiantly against the fat King's Warhammer, but in the end, he is outnumbered by some men in white cloaks, and the Fat King smashed his head open.

Which made me remembers my elder sister, my sweet 13 years old oneechan, Asha. She is a cheerful girl that is a kind of a correct mix of Darkness and Megumin. She is brave as she was the one who defiantly stands in front of me when the Fat King's men ordered to take me in shackles (to no effect though as she is easily pushed aside, she is no Darkness, mind you), but back before the ill-fated rebellion, she was also the fun bubbly girl that in some ways, ironically reminds me with Megumin, only far more gentle and understanding, as she is my oneechan, mind you. And remembering her like that makes me angry more over my idiot father.

I didn't know how long I've been walked deep inside the castle, but then I noticed another boy, also around my age and this boy has dark brown hair and grey eyes like Lord Eddard Stark. In fact, he definitely looks more like Eddard Stark than the previous children. Oh well, maybe he's Robb's twin? Or?

"Let me introduce you to my brother. This is my brother Jon Snow." Robb Stark chirped happily while I could see the dark haired boy only nods shyly at me. Oh well, considering I am the prisoner/hostage/whatever here, I decided to smile nicely and offer him my hand, which said boy at first reluctant, but later still managed to shake my hand. "Jon is my father's bastard."

Wait... bastard? I tried to hide the trademark Kazuma smirk that started to form in my face, not wanted to be seen as impolite and thus earning me the one-way ticket to the dumb big icy thing in the far north called the Wall. But still, so much for my former perception of Lord Eddard Stark as a nice family man. Still, maybe this is just some medieval thing of this world and said boy in front of me should not suffer because his dad fucks his mom while not marrying her, as I come from 21st century Earth and held no such discrimination, most of the time that is.

"He's still your brother though, right?" I asked Robb, and he nods vigorously. Ah well, maybe this is indeed just Medieval thing where a Lord could have some couple of concubines, or back in my home in Iron Isles, Salt Wifes. Man, maybe this world didn't suck that much when you managed to become a manly man after all of this shit. So I looked at Jon, grabbed his shoulder, and smile at him. "Hope we will become good friends!"

Jon seems to be taken aback by my words, but he quickly smiled back and shook my hand again. Oh well, maybe things will go better here, as while I am a Hikikomori in Japan, making friends with 6 years old as someone who is mentally 17 years old should be an easy peasy job, especially when I have my trump cards of simple magic tricks I've learned back in the previous world.

Well, I'm not yet finally remastered all my previous skills, but at least I've used some resemblances of them back then in the Pyke. Steal is very useful for stealing sweetmeats and swiping up booze at night (even my idiot father didn't let me have one), I could still use enemy detection and lurk to play around, I've played with bows and I could proudly say that my snipe skill is still top notch (but sadly I didn't have time to use that to defend my castle back then, with me being hugged all the time by Asha and my mother and they didn't even allow me to touch any weapon). I've toyed with tinder, create water, create earth, wind breath, and freeze to pull pranks on my siblings back then, and they're not yet known that what I've used is outright magic. The only skill I've never used is Drain Touch, but it was because I didn't have any valid targets, mind you.

Oh well, maybe those would end up using as Party Tricks to ensure I have friends here. No thanks to Aqua the idiot Goddess of Party Tricks though, as I never heard her stupid self even once back in Pyke.

...

Alright, everything has been unpacked, and I've already got the room. It was actually bigger than what meager room I've had back at Pyke, honestly. Not that I wanted to complain. I stand in front of Lord Eddard Stark, who smiled looking at how quickly I tidy up my room and put my belongings by myself instead of ordering some servants to do that for me.

"Good boy, I hope you would be friends with Robb and Jon and learned to be a proper Lord here," said Lord Eddard Stark softly. "If you wish, you could ask the servants to provide you hot water and take a bath, after that, go to the dining hall for Lunch."

"Yes, Lord Stark."

But as soon as I finished my nod, I see some rather familiar glowing circles of red and orange appeared midair outside the window, thankfully centered on a mostly empty field somewhat far away, but I already heard screams of terrors coming from inside this castle. MEGUMIN IS HERE! SOMEWHERE!

*BBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!*

The castle shocked but there is no damage done as the Explosion is too far away, I would give it 30/100 though, as it was somehow unfocused and seems very crude compared to Megumin's usual Explosion. Hey, I'm not calling myself Explosion connoisseur out of nowhere, mind you.

"The mysterious Explosions happened again!" shouted a guard who barged into my room and immediately addressed Lord Stark there. Lord Stark himself seems to still cup his hands around his ears and winced.

"Theon, you stay here and wait, it is dangerous to go outside," said Lord Eddard Stark while mentioning for the guards to go outside and close the door of my room.

Oh well, it seems that my adventure in this new world... JUST STARTED!