A/N: Hello lovelies! I am back (sort of). As we speak, I am working diligently to update my long neglected fic, "Saved by a Monster" (which, if you haven't read it, please do check it out :D). I apologize for being MIA for so long, but I had a very hectic 2018 and 2019 will likely be more of the same for me. I'll do my best to be more present here.
In the meantime, enjoy this first part of a likely three part ficlet! As always, reviews are more than welcome! They make my day!
Disclaimer: I still don't own Star Wars or anything pertaining to it.
Summary: Something unplanned and unexpected happens at the most inopportune of times. Rey worries that Ben will not take the news well, but soon realizes that she had nothing to worry about.
A short ficlet of our two favorite space love birds on a journey to becoming parents. WARNING: Tooth rotting fluff ahead.
Ben woke up with his arms empty. His bare chest felt chilly without Rey's familiar warmth pressed against him. Thinking she must have rolled away from him in her sleep, he blindly reached out towards the other side of the bed, trying to find her so he could pull her back to him.
Except, the sheets were cold and...empty.
Confused, Ben opened his eyes and looked around their room. She wasn't there. Trying not to panic he reached out over their bond. Rey? He was immediately struck with an intense wave of nausea. It was so bad that he pulled away from their bond, so he wouldn't vomit. Gasping, he sat up and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts. Wherever Rey was, she was sick, and he needed to go to her.
Then he heard the sound of someone retching. It was coming from the bathroom. He tentatively approached the door, unsure if he should knock.
Ben mentally cursed at himself. Who else would be in their bathroom? Telling himself to stop being such a baby about it, Ben opened the door and peeked inside.
Rey was bent over the toilet and in the process of emptying the contents of her stomach. Which wasn't much because it was four in the morning, so she was really only dry heaving. Ben felt a sharp twinge of sympathy.
When the wave finally subsided, she coughed and waved her hand at him, gesturing for him to leave. "No, Ben, don't come in her. You don't need to see this." Then she wiped her mouth, flushed the toilet, and sat back on the cold tile to curl up in a ball with her head on her knees. Without saying a word, Ben stepped into the bathroom and pulled two small cups out of the cabinet. He filled one with water and approached her, kneeling down and offering her the water filled cup first. Rey lifted her eyes to his and gave a weak, grateful smile before taking the cup. She took a swig of the water, swished it around, and he handed her the empty cup so she could spit. When she was done he poured both in the sink and set them on the counter. Then he sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms. It was what he had been intending to do since he had first woken up and although it wasn't in the context he was expecting, Ben was just happy to hold her at all. He just wished she wasn't feeling so terrible.
"Thank you." Rey murmured from where she was snuggled against his chest. He brushed her hair back from where it was sticking to her cheek and kissed her forehead. She was coated in a cold sweat from the vomiting episode, but she didn't feel fevered.
"Oh, sweetheart, you don't need to thank me. I'll always be there for you." He told her.
Rey nuzzled closer. "I know. But I still feel awful you have to see me like this. I look disgusting and I probably smell..."
Ben scoffed. "You could never look anything less than beautiful, Rey. You're just not feeling well right now. That's not your fault."
As if on cue, Rey groaned and shifted towards the toilet again. Ben moved out of the way and helped support her as she leaned over the bowl again and continued to dry heave. He gently held her hair back with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. It seemed to go on forever and Ben had never felt so helpless as Rey gasped for breath in between every emetic reflex that wrought havoc on her small frame. Tears appeared in her eyes as her core began to shake with the effort of the relentless heaving. Ben's heart lurched painfully in his chest. He would do anything to take this suffering away from her.
Just like the previous one though, it eventually passed, and Rey coughed a few more times, sounding miserable. Ben retrieved the cups and helped Rey rinse her mouth again before resuming their previous position with him cradling her in his arms and softly stroking her back in an attempt to soothe her.
"Thank you for staying with me." She whispered.
"Of course. I wouldn't be anywhere else. You know nothing could tear me from your side." He replied.
She nodded, suddenly going limp against him as exhaustion overtook her. Ben kissed the top of her head. "You tired?"
"Do you want me to carry you to bed?"
"No, I'm afraid it's not over. You can go back to bed though. I'll be okay." Rey said sleepily.
He shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."
"I could be up all night though."
"Well, it's already four, so not much longer until morning anyway." He replied.
Rey groaned. "Correction. I have been up all night."
Ben frowned. "How long has this been happening? You were fine yesterday and last night when we went to bed."
"I've been feeling nauseous on and off for the past few days, but I haven't vomited until this morning." She told him. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
"You don't feel fevered." He offered, voicing his previous observation.
"I know, I don't feel sick either, other than the nausea. It's so weird."
"Well, maybe wait another couple of days and if it doesn't stop go and see a medical droid?" Ben suggested.
"That's probably a good idea." Replied Rey.
They sat in silence for a few moments before Rey said, "Ben?"
He pulled back and raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief. "Really?"
"Well, that's good, right?" Ben was elated. Confused by her sudden appetite after being so sick moments before, but also elated because she was clearly feeling better. "I'll go get you something to eat. What do you feel like having, baby?"
"Pickles and chocolate."
Ben blinked a few times, unsure if he heard her correctly. "Um, okay, angel. I'll, uh, I'll go check the kitchens and be right back."
Carefully getting to his feet so he wouldn't disturb her, Ben kissed her once more and left the room in search of what was one of the weirdest combination of food he had ever heard someone request.
The next day Rey was feeling only slightly better. She hadn't thrown up again though and so it was easy to brush off Ben's concern and convince him she was even alright to train.
Despite her reassuring him and her hopefully convincing acting, Ben still eyed her suspiciously while they sparred, and Rey could tell he was holding back a great deal. That irritated her.
"Ben, stop going easy on me. I'm fine." She hissed, suddenly feeling severely agitated and not knowing why.
He frowned. "You had a rough night. It's okay to take it break from this..."
"Our enemies won't offer me the same courtesy when they attack." She countered, feeling resolved.
Ben said nothing. There really wasn't anything he could have said. The Resistance's current "security" was a ticking time bomb that could explode at any moment when the First Order inevitably found them.
He approached her then, looking sheepish as he took her hands in his. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just...I worry about you."
Rey's heart melted as she took in his warm puppy dog eyes and the pure love radiating from their brown depths. She placed a hand on his cheek and smiled before pulling him down for a kiss. It still startled her at times just how much she loved this man. Ben swept his arms around her and crushed her against him. He tilted her head back to deepen the kiss and Rey moaned.
Someone cleared their throat from somewhere in the room. "Hope we're not interrupting anything."
Ben and Rey broke apart and looked to see who had walked in on them. Poe and Leia stood in the doorway, the former smirking. Leia's eyes were on Rey when she spoke, addressing her son. "Ben, we need you to consult with us about a few excursion strategies on how best to avoid the First Order."
"Of course." Relied Ben and he kissed Rey once on the cheek before moving to join them. He and Poe started to leave, but Leia remained motionless, still staring at Rey.
"Are you coming?" Poe asked her.
Leia nodded. "In a minute. You two go on ahead. I'll be there shortly."
Poe shrugged, and he and Ben disappeared down the hall.
Rey shifted uncomfortably under Leia's piercing gaze. At least she knew from whom Ben got his own intensity.
"Rey, are you alright?" Leia asked.
Rey blinked, surprised. "Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
The other woman pursed her lips. "You look exhausted."
"Oh, well I didn't sleep well last night. Spent most of the early morning hours in the bathroom, sick."
Leia had walked up to her and placed the back of her hand against Rey's forehead. "Sick? You don't feel hot."
Rey shook her head. "I'm not. I've been completely fine except for the sudden spells of nausea and vomiting. I'm sure it will pass."
Leia didn't look convinced. "These spells...how long have they been happening?"
"The nausea has been on and off for almost a week now, but I only threw up this morning."
"I see," replied Leia. "There have been no other strange symptoms?"
"Well, sometimes I get really hungry for the strangest things after I'm feeling sick. Last night poor Ben had to go get me pickles and chocolate from the kitchen." Rey added, not really sure if it mattered, but it was the only thing else she could think of to say.
"Mhmm." Was Leia's response.
Something in her tone made Rey uneasy. "What is it?" She inquired.
Leia clasped her hands in front of her and looked Rey dead in the eye. "I don't mean to make any presumptions about you and my son, but alas, I'm old, not blind." She gave her a pointed look.
Rey flushed at the realization that Ben's mother knew just what she and Ben did behind closed doors. Not pushing the issue further, Leia continued. "My dear girl, is there any chance at all that you could be pregnant?"
Rey choked.Her? Pregnant? Impossible.
Actually, it was extremely possible. A pressing internal voice pointed out. It was right, of course. The amount of time she and Ben spent together in that way...goodness. Rey was almost embarrassed thinking about it.
Then she realized with a start that she couldn't remember her last menstruation. Suddenly feeling dizzy, Rey reached out to brace herself against something. Except they were standing in the center of the room and there was nothing there. Leia reached out to steady her as Rey started to sway unsteadily.
"Rey?" Leia sounded worried.
"Yes." Rey breathed.
"Yes, there is a very good chance I'm pregnant."
After that, things moved very fast. Leia took a still dazed Rey to the medics. While they waited for her test results, Rey began to pace back and forth.
"Oh, my word, this cannot be happening. Leia, I can't be pregnant at a time like this! We're at war, for heavens sakes! I can't have a...a baby! Oh! How could I have been so foolish! I didn't even think of this potentially happening when we-" she stopped abruptly, realizing what she was about to say out loud. Just because Leia knew that she and Ben were intimate didn't mean Rey wanted to say it aloud in front of her.
Leia gave her an amused smirk and Rey groaned before slumping down into a chair. "Pregnant. Leia, what am I going to do?"
"Well, first, you're going stop panicking. Then, we are going to sit here and calmly wait for the test results because at this point we don't know anything for certain."
"I feel like that's easier said than done." Rey replied.
As if summoned by Leia's words, the medical droid came shuffling in and said, "upon reviewing your urinalysis results, it can be concluded that you are indeed pregnant. About eight weeks along. Congratulations."
Pregnant. The word echoed in Rey's mind and everything else seemed to fade from view. Distantly, she heard Leia thank the droid, but every bit of Rey's focus was now centered within. Within her body where there was a baby growing inside her. Her and Ben's baby. Almost unaware of what she was doing, Rey placed her hand on her lower belly and sucked in a harsh breath. The whole thing was entirely too much.
She jerked back to the present and realized that Leia had been saying her name repeatedly. "Sorry." She said.
"How are you feeling about this?" Leia asked her.
Rey wasn't sure. She wasn't at all sure how she felt about any of this.
"What will Ben think about this? What if he doesn't want this with me? What if he doesn't care for me to the same degree that I care for him? I can't lose him, I can't-"
Leia cut her off by shaking her. "Rey! I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear you say that because I know it's the pregnancy hormones talking. Listen to me now. My son loves you. I can tell in the way he looks at you, the way he touches you, the way he himself looks when you're around. I've never seen him so happy. Don't ever doubt his love for you. I know that nothing will ever change it. Do you understand?"
Rey nodded, tears in her eyes. "I'm scared. This timing is awful."
Leia's gaze softened and she pulled Rey into her arms. "I know, my dear. I remember how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with Ben. I was thrilled, filled with such joy and love, but I was also terrified. It's a natural response, but there is an easy cure. Go to him. Tell him everything you are feeling. Let him be your partner and share in the burden."
Rey nodded again and after a few more minutes with Leia, set off to her room and sent a quick message down the bond to Ben.
I need you. Meet me in our room?
His reply was immediate. Of course. Sweetheart, are you okay?
I'm fine. Just come...please. She sent back.
I'll be right there.
When Rey made it back to their room, she shut herself inside and leaned back against the door, letting out a shaky breath.
That one word kept replaying itself repeatedly in her head and Rey realized with a start that she hadn't once taken her hand off her lower abdomen. She was...she was going to be a mother. How though? Rey thought bitterly. How could she be a mother when she didn't remember anything about her own mother? The realization hit her like a ton of bricks and Rey was surprised to feel sadness then. She wanted to be a good mother.
The door hissed and opened as Ben arrived. His slightly heavy breathing and flushed face told her he had run all the way there. Not pausing for a moment, he strode over to her with purpose and gently took her face in his hands and looked her over once. Then twice. Searching for injuries, obviously.
"What has happened?" Ben demanded, gaze returning to her face once he was satisfied she was in fact, physically unharmed and proceeded to search her eyes for answers.
Rey wasn't sure if she should just blurt out "I'm pregnant," or start from the beginning. Though a part of her thought the former would be a better option, when she opened her mouth to say it she got scared and instead said, "I went to the medic today."
Surprise colored his features and one hand slipped from her face to slid down her body and came to rest on her hip. "So soon? I thought you were going to wait a few days. Did you get sick again?" The hand still resting on her cheek moved to her forehead and Rey had to stop herself from reminding him that her sickness wasn't accompanied by fever. His concern was sweet and somehow she loved him even more for it.
Rey took his hand in her own, removing it from her forehead and bringing it to her lips. "No," she murmured against the skin of his knuckles. "Your mother actually convinced me to go and get examined."
"And?" Ben sounded anxious, and Rey felt awful for winding him up so tight, but she herself was nervous. She didn't know how he would react.
"It's nothing terribly dangerous and I should be feeling better in about seven months." She finally decided to say. Goodness, why couldn't she just say it? Poor Ben looked even more confused and his brow furrowed.
Then Rey realized something. She didn't have to say it.
Keeping his hand in her own she moved it down to her lower belly and pressed it there. Ben opened his hand on her abdomen, splaying his fingers so his palm was resting right where their child was growing. Her hand ended up laying on top of his. Their eyes met, and Rey silently pleaded for him to understand through their bond. She saw the moment he did. Ben's eyes widened and his full lips parted slightly as he sucked in a small breath.
You're...he started to send down the bond.
Pregnant. She finished, amazed at how she could say it in that way but not aloud. Ben didn't say anything. Rey wasn't even sure he was breathing. He was just standing there motionless, staring at where his hand was resting.
Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Rey started talking, trying to ease the tension. "I know it's the worst possible timing with everything that is going on and I understand if this isn't even something you were ever going to want with me. I completely get it if you're upset by this. We're not in a position to be parents right now...if you even want to be with me anymore. I-"
She was cut off abruptly when he suddenly yanked her to him and crashed his lips against her own. The passion of his kiss made Rey go weak at the knees and she was acutely grateful that his grip around her torso was so strong that he was basically holding her up. Using the hand that wasn't holding her, Ben reached up to gently stroke her face as he reluctantly broke off their kiss. His eyes seemed to sear straight into her very soul.
"Rey," he started, voice solid and unwavering in its conviction. "How could finding out I'm going to have a baby with the woman I love upset me?"
Powerful emotion rose up in Rey and she felt the urge to cry. Ben pulled her back into his arms and gently rocked her.
"I was so afraid you wouldn't want this." Rey murmured into his chest, completely content to stay there forever.
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Of course I want this. I'll admit that you're right about the timing not being the best, but that doesn't matter." Replied Ben. "I love you so much, and I couldn't be happier."
Rey was finding it increasingly difficult to hold back tears. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that."
"What else would I have said?" He asked, though she could tell it was completely rhetorical in nature. That, it seemed, was the last straw. Rey broke, choking out a sob and then the tears started flowing. She felt Ben's lips press against her cheek as he trailed kisses down her neck and rubbed soothing circles in her back.
After a few minutes, Rey hiccupped and tried to get her breathing under control. "I'm scared." She murmured quietly, still feeling slightly ashamed even though Leia had told her to tell him exactly how she was feeling.
As it turned out she really had no reason to worry, because before she could even question whether he had heard her, Ben had lifted her up in his arms and carried her bridal style to their bed. He then carefully laid her down on her back and crawled up to lay beside her, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I am too." He confessed, affectionately nuzzling the curve of her neck. Rey tilted her head back so her would have an easier time of it and her eyes fluttered closed as she just enjoyed the feeling of having him close.
"But I know that it will be okay," he continued. Rey shivered when his warm breath tickled her skin. "Because we are going to face it together. I'll be right by your side the whole time."
A fresh wave of tears came then, and Rey couldn't stop thinking of how truly wonderful he was. How did she get so lucky with this man? Rey touched his face and brought their lips together. This kiss lacked their usual heat; it was one of comfort, of companionship and love.
Ben broke away first and Rey whimpered, but then he was kissing along her jaw and then down her neck. She gasped when his mouth grazed over her chest and then further down until he had placed one last kiss on her lower belly and proceeded to lay his head there.
Rey's heart swelled when she realized what he was doing, and she lowered her hands to wind her fingers through his hair. She loved his hair. Rey could spend hours just running her fingers through the silky black tresses. Ben sighed in contentment as she touched him and nuzzled his face right over where their child was growing inside of her.
"I'm going to be a father." Ben murmured, bringing his hand up to rest beside his face on her still flat belly.
"You are." Rey replied as she continued to stroke his hair.
"You're going to be a mother."
Rey giggled at that. "That's how this works, yes."
Ben didn't even respond to her sass, which was how she knew his thoughts were entirely elsewhere. Rey felt his lips against her stomach once more and his warm breath as he whispered. "Our baby. I love you so much already, baby girl."
"Girl?" Rey questioned. "We can't know that for a few more weeks."
"She's a girl. And she is going to be just as gorgeous and clever and powerful as her mother." He insisted, lifting his eyes to look up at her without moving his head.
Rey pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes in mock contemplation. "Hmmm that's funny, because I'm pretty sure he's a boy.And that he will be sweet and handsome and strong just like his father."
Ben grinned then and crawled back up her body to kiss her soundly on the mouth. "I still say girl."
"You want to bet on that, Solo?"
"Absolutely." He replied with another wicked grin before diving down to kiss her yet again.