(A/N: Ok so normally I'd put a long A/N explaining the Ultra Mystery Family AU but since Dawndragon's the only one who's going to read this I'm not gonna spend the time lol) (if anyone else DOES read this, all u really need to know is that most of the main AA and PL characters live in one house and nobody is dead)

(featuring Mianix and Layclaire because they're both perfect and nobody is going to read this so I'm not too nervous about coming out that I ship a rarepair)

"Ugh! I'm so sick of this!"

Mia's long brown hair landed wildly as she flopped onto her back, heaving a slightly over-dramatized sigh. Although controlled and proper most of the time, the lawyer's mannerisms always became more casual— and comical— when it was just her and her best friend.

"It was pretty bad," a smaller girl on the other bed chuckled sympathetically. "He's either blind, deaf, or in denial."

"At this point, I'm thinking all three." Mia smirked slightly and shifted herself up against the frame of her bed.

"Aw, well, don't get yourself too down. It'll happen someday!"

The lawyer shook her head. "I appreciate the sentiment, Claire, but my calendar doesn't have 'someday' written anywhere on it."

"You do have that date on Friday, don't you?" Claire pointed out. She removed her glasses and set them on the nightstand the two ladies shared, blinking as her large, near-black eyes adjusted to the change. "Maybe you could try dropping a few hints."

"Dropping a few hints? At this point, I'm practically throwing hint coins at him!" Mia threw her hands up in frustration. "He doesn't even think of Friday as a date! Seriously, what other boss takes their employees out for drinks every other week, hm?"

"Perhaps he's just shy," the smaller woman offered patiently.

"I know he's shy. It's one of the things that makes him adorable. I just wish he'd make a move already!" Mia groaned.

"Well, I know how that feels," Claire giggled. "Even after Hershel knew how I felt, it took him a full three days to actually ask me out on a date! In fact, I heard," she added, lowering her voice, "that Randall had to give him an hour long pep-talk to convince him it would be appropriate."

Mia whistled. "Ouch. I hope things don't get that bad. But knowing Phoenix… Well, remember that trip to the beach we took in June?"

"Oh, yes, that was delightful!" Claire exclaimed.

Mia nodded. "Mhm. Well, I asked him to help me put on sunscreen and he got so red he just about fainted— then he ran off to get Maya to help me instead."

"Really?! I must've missed that!" A flash of disappointment flashed in Claire's eyes, although whether it was from sympathy for the situation or just regret for having missed seeing Phoenix nearly passed out, Mia couldn't tell.

"I think you were talking to the Professor at the time. Anyway…" Mia ran a hand through her hair, carefully disentangling a section of it that had gotten caught on the bedpost. "There's got to be some way to motivate him." She paused. "How do you think he'd react if I just walked in on him like this?" She motioned downwards to her sleepware, a dark-brown pair of pajama bottoms and a light pink tank top that was… snug against her figure, to put it politely.

"Oh my goodness, you wouldn't!" Claire giggled, throwing a pillow across the gap between the beds. Mia caught it and grinned.

"Nah, I wouldn't— not unless things get even worse from here. Anyway, it wouldn't even make a difference. He'd still never try anything."

"Well, at least he's a gentleman," Claire remarked.

"He's too much of a gentleman! That's the problem!" Mia retorted. "I just wish I knew what to do from here."

The light-haired woman hesitated. "Well… maybe you could make the first move?"

Mia blinked. "I have been making the first move."

"No, I mean— actually tell him how you feel. Straight-up." Claire glanced sideways. "It might be necessary. To be honest, I don't know if Hershel ever would have said anything if I didn't talk to him first."

"Wait— you told him first?!" Mia exclaimed. "That's— fairly surprising, to be honest. You two seem like such an old-fashioned couple. In a good way, I mean, it's adorable. But still."

Claire nodded. "I wrote him a letter, actually, but he wouldn't take it home with him, just kept asking me why he couldn't read it right away. For being so good at solving puzzles, he's really quite oblivious." She cracked a smile.

"I feel that," Mia replied, a grin spreading over her own face. "For having a profession in figuring out people's intentions from their actions, Phoenix is terrible at spotting the obvious." She paused. "Maybe a letter wouldn't be such a terrible idea."

"And if he refuses to take it," Claire added, "have a hint coin on hand to throw at his face!"

Mia laughed in a frighteningly thoughtful tone. "I just may try that."

"If you do, make sure it's sometime when I'm watching," the light-haired girl instructed. Then she yawned. "It's getting kind of late. We should probably get some sleep before tomorrow."

Mia nodded and reached over to turn the lamp on the nightstand off. Then she paused and held her hand out with a smile. "Goodnight, then. Here's to the cutest, most oblivious boys in the world."

Claire grinned, leaning over to shake Mia's hand with a smile. "Here's to."

(*finger guns at Dawndragon*) (*and maybe Order if she feels like reading more fics of fandoms she's not in*)