Hello everyone and welcome to my first crossover story. This entire story was requested by Dusk-BlackWarGreymon X and beta-read by him. As you can probably guess, it's a love story between one hyperactive knucklehead ninja and the world's oldest poisoner from a training trip onwards. This is the first of a number of full-length Fate stories that have been planned and will be written out over summer. Heads up warning this story begins sometime after Shippuden Episode 188 so except lots of dialogue for the first quarter or so.

I do not own anything, Kishimoto owns Naruto and Semiramis is the property of Type-Moon.

POISON DOVE & MAELSTROM FOX

Prologue - Fateful Intervention

"Well…that was a little disappointing. They made quite a pair."

Centuries, millennia, eons, it was sometimes hard to keep track of how much time passed in the pitch-black abyss Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg called his home. Or his favored base of operations. Normal minds, even magi, would have recoiled in horror at the empty darkness that surrounded the old vampire, there was no air of any kind to breath and the sheer feeling of emptiness was all encompassing. Truly the home of the Second Magic user was the vacuum of space, the final frontier man had yet to conquer, at least in six out of ten worlds he looked at. One world was making strides, he'd turn his attention to that one after sating this newest idea.

Before him floated one of his many "mirrors". By modern interoperations they were more like satellite TVs, their channels-the endless parallel worlds that existed in near perfect harmony. Generally speaking most of the inhabitants had no knowledge of each other, and from time to time that was for the best. Normally Zelretch was willing to let that be the norm, but not this time.

Shirou Kotomine, Shirou Amukusa, Ruler. His well-intentioned but ultimately doomed attempt to cleanse humanity of its ability to sin had ended in failure. His venture wasn't without its highlights, he'd found love along the way, or rather love had found him. Cradling the head of the foolhardy would-be-savior was the oldest poisoner in recorded history, Semiramis, or as she was known, Assassin of Red. How she'd managed to survive a fatal blow delivered by the Knight of Treachery was a miracle all to itself, but Semiramis has reached the end of the line just like her lover. It was tragic in Zelretch's opinion, even if he found their plan doomed and ultimately pointless, they'd stayed the course and if only for the briefest of moments found happiness.

"I suppose this is for the…" Stopping himself, Zelretch put a finger to his bearded chin. Who exactly was it for the best for? Certainly not Semiramis. He knew her history and character quite well, the Assyrian queen did not love easily, but when she did she loved deeply and devotedly as evident by what he was witnessing. After coming all this way, you've lost it again. Shaking his head in disappointment. Rising from his cherished seat he took several steps forward, the looking-glass like portal following him.

Taking a turn, he came upon a hallway composed of hundreds of viewing portals. Unlike the others what these portals showed were not of a world of Servants and magi, but of warriors called shinobi, ninja. By Zelretch's estimate some eons had passed since he'd discovered the dozens or so shinobi world, and quickly his interests had been peaked. It wasn't often he got to see super-powered ninjas duke it out, and what he saw often proved ample entertainment for him.

One ninja in particular had not only caught his attention but won his respect as well.

For centuries, he'd watched countless nominees for the "Child of Prophecy" come and go through his viewing lens. Many of them had shown promise, yet for all of that their stories still ended in tragedy. Then the actual child came, and from the most unexpected place of all.

Naruto Uzumaki, son of the Fourth Hokage and his wife, a child denied his heritage and the respect he deserved. In spite of that, the child had risen above adversity and prospered. He'd broken the Curse of Hatred, defeated the Rabbit Goddess, Kaguya Ōtsutsuki. Again, his lips curved in amusement remembering that moment where he and his teammates, including the wayward Sasuke Uchiha, landed a combined blow on the horned goddess. While their sensei had been content to smile on in heartfelt joy, Zelretch threw back his head in a fit of boastful laughter. The Goddess of Chakra, the woman reputed as a goddess and demon, fooled by a "harem trick" and eventually fell by three wayward friends reunited by fate as a savior, a healer, and a revolutionary.

The war won he returned to his village as a hero to the entire world, and eventually to Zelretch's quite joy, found love. He'd toyed with intervening if only to get the blond to notice the feelings of the blue-haired Hyūga that always watched him and supported him. Given his background, Zelretch supposed he could have given the boy some slack. He had no idea what romantic love was, but thankfully he realized it just in time to rescue her. Again, he'd laughed at the heartfelt kiss he exchanged with Hinata Hyūga after proclaiming his desire to spend the rest of his life with her. It was a happy ending to a brave warrior's story, something Zelretch admittedly had a soft spot for.

"Happy ending," He mused looking the Uzumaki Family enjoying another peaceful breakfast together. Naruto Uzumaki had struggled and endured, and in the end had been justly rewarded. He was a bright and impressionable boy, the sort any woman would have been blessed to have for a lover. "Blessed…" Turning his head back to the other lens, he saw time was almost up for the poisoner and false-saint. Come to think of it, Naruto is so honest and straight forward he would throw ANY of those women for a loop. Not just Naruto himself, the entire premise by which his world operated was so different from those of the world of Heroic Spirits. It'd be quite a love story, perhaps one of the best ones I've seen in a while. Lips twitching the old vampire held up his hand and swooped out the reflecting lens for another, one showing the young blond at a different point in his life, when he was still young and under the tutelage of Jiraiya. "Yes, yes that could work. It's all there."

Foxes were crafty creatures, but faithfully as well. They made for excellent lovers as persons such as Hinata Hyūga and Hakuno Kishinami could attest. He would make it up to the previous two after he tended to this business.

"This is going to be fun." The silver-haired vampire stated, moving in a new direction within his abyssal abode. None knew it at the time, but the Second Magic-users' actions would have ripples that would spread out far and wide which was exactly what the old vampire in planned.

He had some work to do.

Naruto was both amazed and infuriated at how one supposedly simple jutsu could cause him so much trouble. It was almost criminal how his luck with the jutsu was at times a hit and a miss. Well, this time it was going to be a hit. He was going to summon a full-grown toad, not a tadpole or squirt like Gamakichi or Gamatatsu.

"Eh, since genjutsu's going to take bit longer than I expected try practicing your Summoning Jutsu. It'll help you in the long run if you're able to summon an ACTUAL toad that can help you in a fight."

The blond wasn't sure which he was madder over-the snicker Jiraiya had spoken with or the subtle implication he was going to rig Naruto's summoning so he ended up wither…him. He shivered at the mere thought of seeing Gamariki again, never mind his mind-boggling genjutsu. No, he'd rather risk summoning Gamabunta and having to explain himself than put up with that lipstick-wearing weird excuse for an amphibian. Then again, even though the relationship between the two was now soured Naruto didn't put it past his teacher to pull a fast one on him. Ever since their little adventure in Genjutsu Tree Village he'd noticed the old pervert had been acting strange, well, stranger than usual. For the sake of his sanity Naruto felt it best not to question what was going on the old master's head, nothing good could come of it.

Almost three days had passed since their battle with the renegade Kandachi of the Hidden Rain and Naruto was still riding a little high on their victory. Finally, finally he'd developed a stronger version of his Rasengan, and he did it without the Kyuubi's help. In celebration, Jiraiya had treated him to a better than decent meal…and then the next morning told him to work not to get too overconfident.

"It's not like I've taken a great big leap with the Massive Rasengan." Looking at his worn palm he thought back to the feel of the technique, the bigger than average weight of the giant sphere of chakra and how much push back he felt when he slammed it into Kandachi's overgrown seashell. If I end up going up against Sasuke with it…would I be able to win against his Chidori? And what about Itachi and that shark guy? How much of a help is it going to be? All around him lay evidence of his lingering doubt-blast markings indicating where he'd taken the time to practice the Rasengan, even though he was supposed to be working on the Summoning Jutsu. No doubt Jiraiya would throw a fit, but it's not like Naruto had much to worry about. He had chakra to spare and was fully intent on using it to its fullest before he returned to Konoha.

Laying on his back, he stared up at the azure sky above him. Sometimes it was so easy to forget he was miles away from home and all his friends…and that Sasuke's leaving of the village was barely over four months ago. That part in particular he found it hard to wrestle with at times. Had it really been only three months since he'd come within a hair's breadth of killing his best friend while said friend was trying to kill him? Subconsciously his right hand fell over his chest where he felt Sasuke drive his fist inward.

You could have kept going, you could have killed me, ya' know. According to Granny Tsunade compared to what could have happened he got off light. Naruto didn't need to be told that, he remembered Sasuke putting a hole in his chest the first time.

"Alright, that's enough mopping around! Next time, I'm just gonna drop a giant toad on his ass! That'll make us even!" Jumping to his feet, he walked over to a new patch of grass. The running of the river water ten feet from him did wonders in putting his mind at ease and getting him to concentration. "This time I'm definitely summoning a toad! For sure!" Nicking his thumb for what felt like the hundredth time that day, he performed the required hand signs. "Summoning Jutsu!"

The second the young genin slammed his palm into the ground light exploded from the ground beneath his hand. "H-Huh?!"

In his private dimension, Zelretch grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Thank me later, boy. She's just a fine a woman as Hinata Hyūga." Snapping his fingers, the collection of colored spheres behind him lit up like an array of Christmas lights. "I'll see to it you two end up together in another life, but be content with this woman, warm her heart as you'll do to so many others."

The several floating spheres were all connected by thin wire-like strings. Holding his hand out to the lens, he commanded the transfer of matter and energy in the direction he wanted. The outer corns of the viewing lens became consumed by blazing emerald light that quickly became seething black. Each of the spheres pulsated once before completely breaking apart into light particles that were carried through the strings into lens. Once the last of them were transferred, Zelretch sat back and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now then, onto the miko fox and her lover."

Contrary to what some believed the Throne of Heroes was a rather gossip heavy-place. One of the hottest topics was summoning, who was summoned by who, when they were summoned, and how. Stories ran the gauntlet from eye-rising to flat out embarrassing.

When Semiramis, Wise Queen of Assyria opened her eyes she knew what category this was going under.

Immediately the first thing she took notice of were the eyes, blue as a clear sky and so full of innocence and life. Then came the whiskers on a babyish face. Her Master was young, that was all she needed, a brat. The blue pools stared back at her in open eye and Semiramis stared back. Just as she opened her mouth to speak her Master beat her to the punch.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Wincing in annoyance, Semiramis fought back the urge to slap the child. As he fell back, she got a good look at him. In one glance she realized her new Master was either color blind, had the worst fashion sense imaginable, or she'd been summoned to a time period of outlandish clothing. Of particular interest was the headband he wore around his forehead, she'd never seen anything like it, and then there was the symbol. Must be some kingdom's emblem or of some sort. Is that it? His mouth hug open in agape shock as Semiramis looked around. Forests in the background and a river to his left, but what she really took interest of were the battle scars. Indentions in the rocks and trees and even ground. Settling her silted eyes on the frightened youth, she deduced him to be the cause. He seems to have some power…wait, what is that? Narrowing her focus she saw a great mass of power bundled within the boy's stomach, dark power. That power it's…dark, malevolent, and almost…sentient. Curious, she took one step forward causing the blond to squeak in alarm. Oh yes, that's right. He's a newbie. I suppose I should get introductions out of the way. "Hello, I ask you, are you my Master?"

"M-M-M-M-M-M-Mas-M-Master?! W-What the hell do you mean Master? Who are you? What are you?! You're definitely not a toad!" He cried getting to his shaky feet.

At the mention of the word toad, Semiramis felt her eyebrow twitch. Were it not for years of self-control, she would have said something right there. "A…toad?"

"Y-Yeah, a t-toad. If so you're awfully pretty for one."

Was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?

On his feet, Semiramis found the child was shorter than her by a handful of centimeters. He was young, probably only around thirteen or so. His right hand was worn and his thumb was caked with dried blood. Stepping forward, he squinted his eyes in examination of her.

"What do you mean…am I your Master, lady, who are you?"

Before answering him, Semiramis looked to his left hand having picked up the faint traces of magical energy. "Hold up your left hand."

For a minute he looked ready to protest but did as she instructed. A part of Semiramis was hoping it wasn't so, but as he held up his head she spied the red markings on the back of his left hand. It was…strange, looking at the Command Seals Semiramis realized they were in the shape of three flame-like tails, canine tails. No, fox tails. What exactly is this boy? "Hm, well, it seems that settles it. You apparently are my Master."

"Can you please tell me who you are?! And why do you keep calling me your Master! Are you one of Pervy-Sage's…eh," Semiramis was one-part amused and another part annoyed as he looked up and down her body. A cool breeze blew across the clearing blowing some strains of her onyx black hair across her face. "You're…uh, too pretty to be just a genjutsu trick, at least I hope you're not a trick."

Groaning in frustration, Semiramis decided to quit beating around the bush and get this over with. "I am your Assassin-Class Servant, I have answered your call from the Throne of Heroes and am here to serve as your ally and weapon in the Holy Grail War. There, is that enough information for you?"

Another wind blew across the field, and above head both could hear a collection of birds riding the wind.

"Uhhhh…nope, sorry." Stepping back he put his hand together in some sort of seal, his left two index and middle fingers clapped underneath his right hand which had the same fingers raised. Semiramis felt a buildup of energy followed by the youth's body expelling a faint blue aura. A minute passed before he opened his eyes to look back at her. "You're…real."

"Yes, I'm real." She said somewhat hotly. Her patience was growing shorter by the second. "I will say it again. I am your Servant Assassin, called forth from the Throne of Heroes to participant in the Holy Grail War."

She was about ready to slap the dumbfounded look off the boy's face when he held out his hand. "Oookay then, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, genin of the Hidden Leaf Village and Future Hokage. Nice to meet ya'."

Finally, Semiramis felt her eyebrow twitch. What in Anu's name have I just gotten myself into?

So engrossed in the conversation, neither of the pair noticed the large black and gold-colored Scroll that appeared just a few feet from them. Tucked neatly beneath it was a letter initialed "Z" followed by a notice of congratulations.

Thus begins one of the weird love stories I'm probably ever going to write, either way I'm hoping you'll all read on to see how these two end up together.