A Shameless Need

He is sitting in his expensive chair; a great view is behind his back. His computer monitor is providing enough light and the room is not entirely in the dark. Today is just another night when Kenra-chan types something on the Dollars chat page. The subject is interesting; and why wouldn't it be; after all, he came up with it.

He rereads the last line again. He stares at the monitor and wonders if he overdid it; but it was all the part of the plan, or he likes to think that it is. The line is simple but he isn't sure why he wrote it. Maybe he should rethink all of it. Still, he stares and waits. The clock painfully ticks and minutes pass.

He knows all of those people online. He knows that everyone is reading what he wrote; his sisters, Mikado, Kida, Celty... And, he knows that they know it's him; simple name of Kenra-chan does not mean that he is not who he is. So, he asks himself what they are thinking. And, he hopes that the monster will somehow hear about it. He knows that Ikebukuro's strongest doesn't use the Internet, his character doesn't really go well with delicate devises, and honestly, he understands that Shizuo does not have patience to sit and type. Shizu-chan has always been like that, almost like a barbarian from another time, but even Izaya can't deny the fact that in spite that, or even because of that, he somehow seams eternal.

So, Izaya looks again at the line and frowns a bit. He rereads the thing entirely and watches at few question marks that serve as Celty's answer. He looks at Mikado's "Are you all right, Kenra-chan?" and Kida's "Are you trolling us?". His sisters are silent and haven't written a thing. So, he still stares at his line. He wants to know if they would tell him, but he bites his lip at the corner of his mouth and thinks that they will only see it as a prank.

He is desperate. Since that morning in the alley he couldn't came on his own. It was just after the chase, two bodies hard from adrenaline rush at the end of the street, behind the dumpster, without any way out. And, when the beast came rushing towards him, put a hand on Izaya's neck, full-strength on... And, when he felt the monster's breathing on his skin, his own increased. And, when those words left Shizuo's mouth, so close to him, almost touching him, he was already hard and desperate. So, when a monster said in that rough voice of his that Izaya is fucked and that he could do, will do anything to him... he was already leaking. When fingers tightened on his neck pushing him to the wall and Shizuo's body was right in front of his, moving in order to pin him, just slightly pushing, Izaya came in his pants. The worst thing was the fact the monster had seen through him and with one simple "disgusting" left the scene.

So, Izaya came home with his pants and his underwear wet as if he was a school boy at his first party. And, when after a few hours he was again painfully hard, and when a cold shower and images of Shinra couldn't make it go away, he swallowed his pride and started jerking himself with all his might.

He tried the usual routine, and when it didn't work he even played some videos. He tried with straight porn, with threesome, with gay porn, with everything. And, when the videos haven't worked, he swallowed his pride even more and thought of the monster. He tried to imagine giving Shizu-chan the dose of his own medicine. He tried to think how good it would feel to fuck the other's hole until the both of them could not move anymore. His dick was painfully hard for hours but even that haven't work.

So, when he decided that he was desperate enough to buy some toys online and when those toys have been delivered, after only two hours, he had chickened out with a first sight of the pink vibrator. He wasn't sure why he didn't go with the black one; maybe then it would be easier to put the thing into his ass.

So, he sits at his expensive chair, with the beautiful view of city lights behind his back. His room is barely lit; he stares in his monitor screen; and, the pink vibrator and the lube are next to him. He wanders was it a mistake that he typed: The pink vibrator is next to me. I am scared to try it. I want to think that it is Shizuo Heiwajima's cock and that it's fucking me. What should I do?