Zemo to (Not a) Hero


99th Precinct

10:23 AM


"Please, please, please, please, sarge. Just do me this one favor and I will give you anything you want." Detective Clint Barton pleads with intertwined hands. He looks up at the taller (and bigger) man with his round bright gray eyes and offers a small pout with his rather thick lips.

"Again, Clint," Sergeant Steve Rogers sighs, transferring the file under his armpit to emphasize his hands, "I'm not going to transfer my case over to you. You're already assigned to another one."

"But it's the T'Challa," the smaller man groans. "He's who I aspire to be if I ever become a businessman."

Steve gives him a blank stare before proceeding to his desk.

Clint inhales a sharp breath as he follows the blonde man. He furrows his light colored eyebrows and paces all around Steve's desk with his hands on his hips. With a snap of his fingers, he offers, "How about I jog with you every day going to the precinct?"

"I don't think that-"

"Oh, wait, never mind. I don't want to be seen with you on the way to the precinct. Natasha would kill me," Clint mutters, blatantly ignoring what Steve is saying.

"Go work on your case, Barton," the Sergeant commands, "or else I'll tell Romanoff that you were the one who ate her muffin."

"What, no!" the Detective exclaims. He stretches out his arms, drops his jaw and widens his eyes all in surprise. The now shocked (and partly terrified) man cries out, "Someone already ate the muffin?!"

Steve leans back in his chair with defeat.


Detective Tony Stark waltzes in Captain Nick Fury's office without a care in the world. He doesn't even bother to knock on the opened door and simply stands up right in front of the only desk with a single smirk on his goatee covered chin. He takes off his sunglasses harshly and places it back on his collared shirt whose first three buttons has been popped.

Captain Nick Fury doesn't bat his eyes (because he technically has one eye as his left one is covered with an eye patch) and immediately tells his subordinate, "You look ridiculous, Detective Stark."

"I know," Tony replies, still sporting the same smirk without doubt.

"I called you here because I think your case about the-"

"Let me stop you right there, Captain Fury." Tony interrupts, holding up his arms right next to him. He winks at his superior officer and confidently assumes that, "Of course you can partner with me to solve this case. I knew you couldn't resist me and now Barton owes me ten bucks. Thank you so much, Captain, you're the best."

"Stark," the Captain stresses. He growls, "Sit the hell down and stop sputtering nonsense."

"Okay," Tony mutters hastily and readily, and follows the man's orders. He sits on the black chair nearest to him.

Captain Nick Fury gives a disapproving glare at Tony before explaining, "What I was about to say was that I think that you should partner with Sergeant Rogers for your current case about the murder of Vasily Karpov."

Tony gives a confused look as he defends, "But I'm doing fine by myself with that case! I even went to his apartment for clues."

"That's what you were supposed to do anyway."

"The point is, Captain," Tony continues as he adjusts his posture, "I can solve this case without Rogers' help."

"I know you can," the Captain agrees. He lays his intertwined hands on the desk in front of him and leans in to Tony as he says, "But I have reason to believe that Vasily Karpov's murderer also killed T'Chaka."

Tony narrows his eyes and leans back on the chair comfortably while propping up his elbows on the armrest to position his hands right below his nose. Complete with a bob of his head, he enunciates clearly and perfectly, "Interesting."

"That's all. Get out of my office," the Captain orders as he picks up his fountain pen.

"You knew I was doing something cool! Why do you have to ruin it?" Tony groans out with disappointment. He stands up and stomps his feet on the carpeted ground like a child. He cries out while shaking his head, "Dammit!"


Briefing Room

12:46 PM


Detective Tony Stark closely examines the map taped right on the white board. He's already buttoned up his shirt and put on a thick black jacket over it. He crosses his arms over his chest and mutters to himself gently. A closed permanent marker is in his right hand, sneakily showing itself despite Tony's current position. He's leaning against the podium located at his back.

"Tony, good afternoon. You didn't go for lunch?" asked Sergeant Steve Rogers as he walks in the briefing room with the case file that Detective Clint Barton tried (big emphasis on tried) to take from him. The bigger man stands next to Tony with perfect posture and asks, "What have you got?"

"Rogers! Good afternoon." Tony greets back with half enthusiasm Steve did. He gets off the podium and unties his arms so that he can stuff it in the pockets of his jeans. With a clearly forced smile, Tony breezily tells his superior that, "I've already solved the case so you're free to go and I will handle getting our perp and interrogating him and also do the paperwork all by myself. Thanks for your help, you're not needed, byeeee."

"You're clearly lying, Tony." Steve replies. He's not at all bothered at Tony's futile attempts to take him off the case as he offers Tony the file without any hesitation. The blonde asks, "What are the details of your case?"

Tony huffs and gives in. He explains, "Well, Vasily Kaprov was a drug dealer that recently got out of jail. His body was found in the middle of his apartment two days later when his neighbors complained about the smell. The murderer stabbed him right through his heart with no struggle. There was no murder weapon found at the scene and no witnesses. The only lead that I have is that the surveillance camera in the hallway showed a hooded figure entering the door."

Steve nods and points out his observation, "T'Chaka was also killed like that. A single stab through his heart with no prints at all in the crime scene. His guards didn't hear him scream or anything. The only conclusion I can concur is that these two people were acquainted with the murderer enough for them to let down their guard."

"Okay, please stop speaking like you're ninety years old." Tony groans while rolling his eyes. He turns to look at his colleague and asks, "Did you check any of the surveillance cameras?"

"Yes, but no one came from the hallway."

"He was killed in a hotel, right? There's got to be cameras inside the hotel room."

Steve raises his eyebrows and asks hesitantly, "...there are?"

Tony shakes his head and candidly tells him with a pat on Steve's back, "I guess you're ninety inside and out."


Detective Natasha Romanoff types away on her computer with a frown. She's itching to take a break and eat lunch, but she promised herself that she'll get on with that once she's finished her paperwork.

"Hey, Nat... have you eaten lunch?" Detective Bruce Banner asks as he approaches her desk with a small smile.

"Hey, Bruce." Natasha greets back, not bothering to look up from her computer, and replies, "Not yet. Just have to finish this."

"Oh, uh, after that maybe we can... eat lunch? Together?" Bruce invites nervously. He's rubbing the back of his neck and refuses to look at Natasha, as if afraid that he might get rejected. A messy blush spreads on his cheeks once he had finished talking.

Natasha looks back at him with an amused face. She teases, "Are you asking me on a date?"

Bruce immediately jumps to look at her with his alarmed brown eyes and stutters in defense, "N-no! It's just a lunch between two work friends that coincidentally like the same shawarma place! A-and I like that shawarma place because it's really good and not because you like it also!"

Detective Clint Barton suddenly appears and pats his nervous friend's shoulder as he walks past the two, holding a stack of folders with his other hand. He grins with amusement and announces, "That wasn't embarrassing at all, Bruce," before walking away towards whatever room he's supposed to be in.

They watch him walk away. Natasha looks back at Bruce with a small smile on her usually stoic face and Bruce looks back at her as well with quivering lips. She replies breezily, "I'd love that, Bruce."

"Okay," Bruce nods slowly, biting down on his lips to prevent himself from smiling widely. He rambles more nervously this time, "Great. Amazing, awesome, cool cool... I-I'll wait for you to finish, okay? Great. Amazing, nice nice nice..."

Natasha laughs softly as she turns back to her computer and Bruce's face turns redder with the strangely melodic but raspy sound that came out of her mouth.


4:14 PM


"Sarge, I think I just found our guy," Tony calls out from his desk. He's staring at a paused video intently from his computer with both his arms on his armrest. He doesn't even turn to the Sergeant whose desk is just right behind him.

Steve approaches him, positioning himself right beside Tony's face to get a good look at the computer. On the computer is a zoomed in picture of a man with rather chubby cheeks and neat parted brown hair. Both of his eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth is permanently etched into a frown. Steve mutters, "Do you know the identity of this man?"

Tony flinches at Steve's sudden proximity before replying, "Nope, but I bet T'Challa does."

"Good thinking, Tony." Steve compliments as he stands upright. He puts a strong hand on Tony's shoulders and booms with his deep voice, "Let's go talk to him."

Tony swivels his chair around to turn to his superior officer and says, "Wait, sarge, I think I can handle this on my own."

Steve stares down at him, showing off an unfamiliar darkness in his usually baby blue colored eyes. He crosses his arms across his chest, which only emphasizes the muscles he has on his chest, and asks, "Why do you think that?"

"Because I'm a really good cop?" Tony tries.

"You just used our fire extinguisher to put out a single lit match that fell on the floor," Steve answers back.

"Yes! I did... that..." Tony says roughly as he stretches out his arm, trying to convince the sterner (and clearly more mature) man. He then changes his tactics and decides to get technical. "But I also have the most arrests in the precinct."

"I know that." Steve states plainly and adds after a brief pause, "But I also know that there is something more to this, Tony. You don't want a partner because of another reason."

Tony bounces his eyes off the walls nervously. He sputters out, "What? Another reason? That's absurd. I'm very chill to have a partner on this case, especially since it's you, sarge. You're great! Great muscles, great posture, great everything. Great, great."

Steve gives him a blank stare. The older man tells him, "Look, Tony. I know that you're used to working cases alone, but you should know you're part of this squad. We're a team, and you need to start understanding that you're not completely alone anymore. You have us."

Tony nods, staring back at Steve with a strange redness in his eyes. He looks don and replies, "Yeah, I know that."

"Now can I help you solve this case?"

"...of course." I can't say no to you.


8:31 PM


T'Challa stares at the photo given to him by Detective Tony Stark and Sergeant Steve Rogers. His delicate hands skim over the print as his eyes widen with recognition. He nods his head gently and speaks to the cops with his deep rough voice, "This is Helmut Zemo."

The three of them are in the crime scene- the hotel room that T'Chaka was murdered in. The whole place is sealed off with bright yellow police tape and swarms of officers run in and out of the place like the bank. It's usual for cops to walk casually in crime scenes where a very famous person is involved.

"What's his relationship with your father?" Steve asks politely, staring at T'Challa's bland brown eyes.

"He worked for him before but was fired because he was accused of stealing and also because he was caught doing drugs," T'Challa explains. "It's a shame, since my father had a rather close friendship with him"

Bingo, Tony thinks to himself as he raises his eyebrows and looks around the room. The gears inside his brain are turning and he fetches the clues offered to him to solve the case. He perks up and mutters, "Kaprov must be his dealer back then. But, once Kaprov walked out of jail, he stopped dealing. Zemo must have tried buying from him, but Kaprov didn't have drugs anymore so Zemo killed him."

"That's a reach," Steve comments.

"No time!" Tony interjects, "We have to find Zemo right away."

Steve nods in agreement.

"We need to get back to the precinct, sarge, and-" Tony starts, but is cut off immediately.

"T'Challa, do you happen to know where Zemo's address is?" Steve asks.

The said man replies in contempt, "Well, yes, we have all our employee's address, but I'm not sure if he's still living in the same place considering he was our employee from long before."

Steve thanks him for the information and adds, "Don't worry, T'Challa, I'm sure he's still there."

"Bold claim, sarge." Tony remarks.

"It's not a bold claim if it's true," replies Steve.

Tony grins.


The Next Day

9:37 AM


"Work, you stupid machine! Work!" Detective Thor Odinson growls out as he glares at the jamming printer in front of him. His blue eyes flare with anger and pulls out a small black baton from behind him and uses it to smash the printer down. He grunts with each hit, frustrated that the file he's trying to print won't be coming out of the printer.

"Detective Odinson," barks Captain Nick Fury from the middle of the bullpen with a single mug of coffee in his hands. He glares at the huge man before asking, "Are you planning on replacing that?"

"Captain," Thor salutes. He replies, "I'll try to fix it."

The printer crackles in response before completely giving out its last breath.

Detective Clint Barton speaks up from his desk, "I'm sure that will go well, Thor."

"Well, thank you, Clint." Thor says cheerily.

"He was being sarcastic, Odinson. Replace that or else I'll transfer you to the night shift," the Captain cuts in. He turns to walk towards his office with a walk that just screamed authority.

Thor frowns at Clint, both hands on his hips, and tells him, "I can't believe you made a sarcastic comment."

Clint shrugs as he continues writing on the papers in front of him. "It's part of my charm, Thor. Take it or leave it."

Before Thor could say anything back, Detective Natasha Romanoff walks by the two, nodding to show that she's greeting them. However, before she can walk over to her desk, Clint immediately stops her from her tracks and asks with a crazed look on his face, "How was your date with Bruce yesterday?"

"It wasn't a date," Natasha replies before giving in, "It went great."

"Banner? You went on a date with Banner?" Thor repeats with surprise, looking back and forth from an uninterested Natasha Romanoff to a smirking and amused Clint Barton.

"Yes, and I won't say anything more or else I'll cut your throats out and feed it to the pigeons outside. Okay?" Natasha threatens, glaring at the two before they can ask anymore pointless questions.

"Nat and Bruce, sitting on a tree," Clint sings excitedly. "Come on, Thor! Sing the rest!"

"I don't know that song," is the response Thor has.

"Why did I even bother?"

They are unable to continue the conversation because Detective Tony Stark and Sergeant Steve Rogers walk in the bullpen from the elevator, dragging a smaller pale man by the handcuffs that are on him. Most of the people didn't bother to look, but all the detectives turn their gazes at them. It's always their business if one of their squad has caught the perp that they have been looking for.

Tony has his usual smirk pressed on his face. He throws his arms up in victory and announces, "Everyone say hello to T'Chaka's and Vasily Kaprov's murderer: Helmut Zemo!"

"Boo!" is the echo of both Natasha and Clint, while Thor expresses his congratulations.

Steve rolls his eyes at his co-workers antics, holding on to the perp who's already glaring at the whole room with his small eyes. He tells Tony that, "You're head has gotten big yet again, Tony."

"I'll pretend not to hear that because I solved this case and it feels good."

"Then you can do the paperwork also."

"What? No, Steve! I thought we were a team!"


quick a/n: soooo avengers in brooklyn nine nine. i had this idea after seeing a video in youtube where the opening song of b99 were the avengers. i guess for me: tony=jake, steve=amy, natasha=rosa, bruce=boyle, thor=terry, nick fury=holt, and clint=gine if she was a detective. i was thinking it could be a one-shot but if you guys want to see more just review and tell me!