Shows me colors when there's none to see
Gives me hope when I can't believe
That for the first time
I feel loved
~ "For the First Time" U2
Light filtering through the window was the first thing Jace saw as his eyes fluttered open, the gentle feeling of breathing on his neck, hand resting on his chest and the warm, soft body resting against his side reminding him that he was not alone. He gazed down at the mess of red curls and soft pale, lightly freckled skin glowing under the morning light and smiled, sighing contentedly. It didn't matter where he was, he realised, he could go anywhere in the world and he would be fine, what mattered was her. She was his home.
He felt her shift in his embrace, she lifted herself up onto her elbow, pleasantly surprised to find him already awake. "Good morning." She greeted him, smiling into his eyes. "Have you been awake long?"
Jace held her gaze fondly. "Just a few minutes." He confirmed. "Did you sleep well?"
Clary smirked, remembering their activities from the night before. "Extremely well." She bit her bottom lip seductively. "You?"
Jace knew this was one of those moments he should feel cocky, but instead he felt nervous. He'd woken up with plenty of women in his time, but never like this. He usually left the moment he was awake, without much more than a see you next time. Sometimes there was coffee, but there was never pillow talk, not like this. This was completely new territory. "Honestly? Best sleep of my life, and then waking up next to you…" He reached up caressing her face gently. "I could do this for the rest of my life." He confessed.
Clary stared into his eyes, a little taken aback by his sincerity. Jace was never subtle, he always said what he meant and he was telling her he wanted a lifetime of this with her. If it was anyone else bearing their soul this way she might have been scared, but coming from Jace… she was excited, more than excited, her heart was racing out of control as she gazed into the eyes of the man she loved more than anything in the world. "So…as first times go, that was…" She began, not quite managing to keep her voice even, memories of the night before igniting her desire for him again. "…I don't think I can even describe how good it was…"
Jace nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean… it was… perfect."
The second the door was closed they came together, two undeniable forces colliding, clinging to each other as they kissed fiercely, like the need to breathe was just a passing thought. Jace pressed Clary against the closed door, his face mere inches from hers as he used his stele to blindly draw a lock and a silent rune on the door. He was in no mood to be overheard or interrupted tonight. Clary stared up at him for a moment, her green eyes glinting in the moonlight flooding into the room as she gazed into his eyes, her entire being flooded with raw, unfettered desire. She grabbed collar of his shirt and pulled his mouth forcefully back to hers claiming him as he claimed her.
Clary pushed him toward the bed as they kissed, moving slowly until he felt his legs bump against the frame. Clary pushed him roughly onto the mattress, taking a moment to watch his surprise as she climbed in after him, straddling him as the silk of her dress rode up a little over her knees. Jace was shocked for a moment, not quite expecting her to be this rough, but not uncertain that he didn't like it. Clary placed her hands on his chest holding him down as he tried to lift himself to kiss her again, and though the room was dark except for the moonlight he could see the predator-like glint in her eyes, like she was the hunter and he was the prey.
For a moment he was excited as the prospect of allowing Clary to release the ferocity inside of her that he knew and loved so well, but something stopped him, a feeling he couldn't quite rationalise that was all of a sudden telling him to run. This should have felt like a pivotal moment for them, something worth savouring relishing in their complete connection to each other, but that wasn't how it felt. Jace couldn't quite explain it, but the look in her eyes made him feel almost like he was about to sleep with a stranger and it scared the hell out of him.
"Wait… stop." He gasped, his body reacting before his mind had any time to catch up. He held her waist firmly, rolling her off of him and hanging his feet over the side of the bed breathing hard.
He felt Clary's hands on his shoulders, the concern in her voice as she spoke. "What's wrong Jace? Are you okay?"
Jace held his head in his hands feeling light headed all of a sudden, his pulse racing out of control, hands clammy, a cold chill flooding through him. He was vaguely aware of Clary moving around him, of dim lights being turned on, her kneeling in front of him holding his arms lightly almost as if she was afraid he would break. He could tell she was trying to say something but it was as if the volume was a turned down and all he could hear was muffled sounds, his vision blurred as he tried in vain to focus. The whole world was spinning for what seemed like a long time before he could finally breathe again, or hear what Clary was saying.
"Jace, answer me, please…" She was pleading, her eyes full of worry.
Jace shook his head, finally able to look at her as he slowly came out of the fog, taking a moment to re-orient himself. "I… I'm so sorry Clary, I don't know what just happened I…"
Clary placed her hands either side of his face gently, her eyes radiating nothing but love and tenderness. "Jace you don't need to apologise, just… are you okay?"
Jace wasn't sure what had just happened. What was the trigger here? Was it Jonathan? He thought he'd seen something in Clary's eyes as she crouched over him, but looking at her now, he only saw the woman he knew and loved, her beautiful face full of love and concern for him. He focussed on her, cupping her face gently like she was the most precious thing in the world, smiling tenderly. "I'm fine, just a moment… I guess I'm still struggling to believe that this is real, that we're really here together after everything… I guess my body's taking a while to catch up to reality…" It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth. How could he tell her that he'd stopped because he'd seen something in her that had frightened him when he wasn't even sure of what he saw or whether it was even real?
Clary smiled sympathetically, her eyes full of warmth and affection. "Do you still wanna do this tonight?" She asked, her face betraying no expectations.
Jace held her gaze, searching her green eyes for whatever it was he'd seen, but there was only Clary, his Clary so completely beautiful, strong and vulnerable before him, desire flooding from her behind all of her concern. He'd wanted her from the moment he met her, he'd never stopped wanting her in every moment he'd spent with her. How could he not want her now? "Yes." He answered, his voice betraying the power of his desire as he leaned down capturing her mouth with his.
Their kiss was slow and tender this time, a completely different atmosphere filling the room. This is it. Jace thought with a sense of wonder as they shifted onto the bed laying side by side as they kissed, holding onto each other, legs mingling together. The feeling he'd been anticipating, that knowing between them, it was all there in the way she kissed him, the way her hands explored his body, the way she whispered his name like a prayer between their passionate kisses. He wasn't sure what he'd seen earlier, but right now he was certain. There was nothing else in the universe he wanted more than to be with Clary right here and now, to give himself to her completely and show her with his body how much he loved her in ways he could never fully explain with words.
He let his hands explore, running his fingertips over her collarbone, under the strap of her dress, sliding it over her shoulder as he kissed his way down her neck, over her shoulder, his kisses wet, slow and sensual on her exposed skin. Clary's breath quickened, hitching lightly as he kissed his way down over the top her breasts exposed from the low cut of her dress. He slid his hand to her back, bring his eyes back up to meet hers, asking with his eyes for permission as he toyed with the zipper on her dress. Clary nodded, her eyes darkened with desire as he brought his mouth back to hers while simultaneously sliding the zipper down, running his hand over the smoothness of her bare skin up to her shoulder, drawing her closer.
Clary gasped as he suddenly sat up, pulling her with him so she was straddling him again. They gazed at each other, taking in the moment as their eyes roamed over each other. Clary unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it over his shoulders slowly, enjoying the way his skin prickled under her touch, before and tossing it aside. She ran her fingers over the runes on his chest, tracing the lines and scars from the occasions when he'd neglected a healing rune. She stopped over the scar that etched its' way onto his chest where Valentine had stabbed him, one of his few scars that had never really healed. She placed her hand over the mark thanking the angel once again for granting her wish. Jace brought his hand over hers, his eyes soft and warm speaking of so much understanding. They both understood the insurmountable anguish of losing each other and the wonder of getting a second chance. They held each other's gaze taking in the moment, Clary placed her other hand to the side of his neck stroking over his jaw with her thumb. Jace brushed his fingertips over her cheek, his expression full of wonder as if he needed be reminded that the pain was over and they were finally together.
It was like being back in the med bay that night when Jonathan almost killed Jace, the same passion and fear they knew too well, but with the knowledge now of why they were so afraid to lose each other. Clary ran her free hand over his brow, entangling her fingers through his golden hair, resting at the base of his skull. "I love you Jace." She breathed, almost overcome by the swell of emotion flooding through her. "I love you so much."
Jace closed his eyes for a moment, his brow furrowed as he absorbed her words. He opened his eyes, his heart swelling with so much love for the woman in his arms that he couldn't possibly contain it anymore. "I love you Clary…" He started, speaking as though the words carried so much weight for him that holding them in was almost painful. "I'll love you until my last breath… and if there's a life after this, I'll love you then."
Clary felt the tears fall before she even realised her vision was starting to blur, her smile wide and uncontainable. She remembered the days before they fell in love, how closed off he was to his emotions, and now here he was pouring his heart and soul out before her, so vulnerable and open, looking at her like she was the only thing in the world worth seeing. She pulled him in kissing him like it was the last time she would ever feel his lips on hers, overwhelmed by the emotions surging through both of them. She slid her hands over his chest, enjoying the way his muscles rippled under her touch as he let his hands roam down her arms, releasing for a moment before placing his hands on her thighs, sliding up under her dress to her hips. She could feel herself moistening, her pulse racing as he massaged over her hips, his lips her willing subjects as she kissed him hungrily, running her hands up his chest to his neck. His skin was hot and smooth under her hands, his touch like fire over hers as she claimed his mouth, sliding her tongue along his bottom lip, begging for entry. Jace opened his mouth gently massaging his tongue with hers, feeling his pants getting tighter.
Clary pressed herself against him, feeling the need for greater connection growing with each passing moment. She pulled back a little sucking on his bottom lip as they parted momentarily, Clary holding his gaze as she slipped the other strap off of her shoulder sliding the soft silk over her, exposing her bare chest to him, enjoying the look of hunger in his eyes as he gazed over her, taking her in. She reached down, guiding his hands up just enough for him to get the picture. He took his time caressing up her sides to her breasts, starting lightly, running his thumbs over the sides and then taking both into his hands, gently massaging in circles, worshiping her in all of her splendour. He moved his hands down again, Clary almost complaining until she realised he was taking her dress completely off, sliding it slowly over her body and tossing it aside.
His eyes darkened even more as he looked at her, now clad in nothing but a pair of dark crimson lace panties. His whole body felt like it had been set alight, his desire for her a force of nature beyond his control. "You are so beautiful." He breathed out as he placed his hands either side of her face and kissed her briefly, with such tenderness and desire that he left her wanting so much more. She shifted lying back as he moved with her, settling himself by her side as he placed his hand on her hip, teasing around the band of her panties, letting his eyes gaze over her in all of her magnificence. Clary sighed into his touch as he caressed over her torso to her left breast, shifting himself down a little, kissing his way down her neck, over her collar bone, gentle, sucking kisses, enough to bring the most delicious sensations but not enough to leave a mark. He paused over her breasts before snaking his tongue out and swirling it around her nipple before sucking lightly, earning a small moan as he kissed his way to her right breast, following the same pattern there, feeling her fingers run through his hair in gratitude.
He took his time, rolling his tongue around her nipples, gentle sucking, wet hungry kisses all over her until she felt like she might explode if she didn't have him soon. Jace kissed his way back up to her mouth, Clary rolling to face him, sliding her leg over his hip, earning a low groan as she teased around the skin of his hips and lower abs before reaching for the buckle on his belt. She made quick work of his belt, followed by the button and zipper of his trousers, feeling him straining against the confines of his pants, more than happy at the idea of releasing him. She teased him a little, rubbing her hand over the front of his briefs, earning a low moan. She could tell without him even being fully erect that he was anything but average and she wanted nothing more than to touch him, all of him right now. But first she needed to be sure, pulling back for a moment, cupping his face with her hand, looking him seriously in the eyes.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked, feeling a little absurd at this point, but she would not proceed unless he was completely sure.
Jace smiled warmly, caressing his thumb over her cheek, his eyes betraying him more than words ever could. "I've never wanted anyone more than I want you Clary." He stated sincerely. "I want you… tonight… here and now."
She nodded her mouth slightly open, as he pulled her close, pressing his chest against hers as he kissed her passionately until both of them were gasping for air. She was done with these clothes still separating them, sliding his trousers down along with his underwear. Jace shifted his hips to assist her as she used her feet to kick them all the way off, giggling lightly at the way he squirmed out of them. Jace blushed, flashing a shy grin as he felt himself completely bare before her. He was nervous all of a sudden looking at her, his heart beating erratically as he realised this was it. He'd wanted this moment for so long that it was almost surreal to finally be here so close to the woman he loved and wanted more than anything else in this life.
Clary couldn't help but stare as she gazed over his immaculate form. He was almost too beautiful for words, his golden skin shinning in the dim candle light, the shape of his taught muscles accented by the dim lighting only making him that much more beautiful, her desire for him building beyond anything she'd ever felt before. She could feel how swollen she was, her panties now drenched in anticipation, wanting nothing more than to finally feel him touch her where she most wanted him. She took his hand, surprised at the slight tremble as she guided his hand down, nodding in permission and then letting go as he slid under her panties, lightly brushing over her, a light gasp escaping her lips as he slid his fingers through her slick folds, listening to her closely for signals of what she liked as he leaned in to kiss her neck.
It wasn't long before Clary was moaning into his ear, begging him for more as she lifted her hips, stilling his hand and guiding him to get rid of her panties. Jace obliged, manoeuvring his way down her body sliding them off, down her legs, his eyes drunk with raw desire as he slid his hands back up her body, drinking in the slight of her completely bare before him. He settled with himself to her side, head low enough to kiss around her hips, hands caressing up her inner thigh, eyes fixed on her core as she opened her legs to him. Even in the dim light Jace could see her core red and swollen, dripping and begging for his touch. He dragged his fingers over her, revelling in the heat and wetness, watching as her hips lifted slightly into his touch, a gasping moan escaping her mouth as he started to move, exploring her folds, teasing around her clit, gentle circles adjusting his pressure and pace according to her responses.
He had dreamed so many times of being with Clary like this, longed with every fibre of his being to be the one who had the privilege of sharing this kind if intimacy with her. And now that he was here, he couldn't help but savour every moment. He kissed around her lower abs and hips, revelling in the taste of her skin as he continued his gentle strokes, starting to tease around her opening between teasing her clit mercilessly, the sounds of pleasure falling from her lips like a symphony to his ears. He dragged his fingers over her, sliding a finger carefully inside of her, feeling how open she already was slowly added another feeling her opening even more with every stoke, swirling in and out as she moaned softly into his touch.
Clary had never felt anything like it, the way Jace moved inside of her was better than anything she had felt before, his lightly calloused fingers opening her, sending waves of pleasure through her she never knew she was capable of feeling. She propped herself up on her elbows as she watched him, enjoying not only the sensation but the look of complete unfettered desire as he looked up at her face for a moment before shifting them so that he was settled between her legs. He kissed his way over lower abs, down until his mouth hovered over her core, cocking a wicked grin before snaking his tongue out and dragging it slowly up her slit over her clit and back down again, repeating his movement as his fingers continued their work in side of her. He felt heady completely enrapt in the taste of her as she moaned loudly in ecstasy, lost in the pleasure he was giving her. She could feel her climax building with every stroke of his tongue and gentle swirling thrust of his fingers, the pressure inside of her building, begging for release.
"Oh god, Jace!" She gasped out throwing her head back as she felt herself tremble under the force of her release looming so close, building through her entire body completely beyond her control.
Jace felt Clary's hips starting to buck gently against him and he knew she was getting close. He built his pace flicking and sucking her clit with greater pressure, adding a third finger as he pushed deeper and faster. Clary started to tremble, her moans escalating higher and less controlled, building and building until her vision blurred as she felt her orgasm explode through her entire body. She cried out unrestrained, arching her back as Jace stroked her through their climax, gently bringing her down as he kissed over her swollen lips, around her inner thighs, back up her body, slowly appreciating every inch of her body, taking a moment to wipe his face on the bed sheet before meeting her gaze.
She smiled up at him, her cheeks lightly flushed, eyes gleaming in the afterglow. She placed her hands either side of his face, pulling him close, kissing him softly, tenderly. She could taste herself a little on his lips, but she didn't care, wanting him so badly she could hardly contain herself. She kissed him harder, reaching between them to finally touch him. Jace gasped as she gently stroking around the tip of his shaft before wrapping her hand around him and sliding down all the way to his balls, brushing lightly over them before sliding her hand up again. Jace moaned deeply as she stroked over him, circling her hand a little, making him almost impossibly hard but not as hard as he became when she kissed her way to his ear and whispered low and husky "I want you Jace. I want you inside of me. Please…"
Jace halted her hand briefly, pulling back so he could look at her. They held each other's gaze for a long moment, both of them taking in the moment. This was it, the moment of complete connection they had been waiting for so long to share together. Jace brought his hand to her face, stroking over her cheek gently. "It might be a bit of a mood killer, but do we need protection?" He asked, a little breathless.
Clary didn't look any less turned on, if anything she looked even more ready than she was before. "I'm on the pill Jace." She stated simply, raising her eyebrows suggestively as she teased her fingers around his hips and lower abs, deliberately avoiding his shaft, driving him wild with anticipation. "And it's not a mood killer." She stated, gratefully, shifting one hand to his jaw, running her thumb over his lower lip, eyes focusing on his lips for a moment before meeting his gaze again.
He wanted her, oh by the angel did he want her. But he needed to know what she was comfortable with first. "Do you want me to use a condom?" He asked, his voice a little shaky as she continued to tease him. She was not making this easy and he was loving every second of it.
She slid her hand slowly over his abs, his chest, coming to rest on the side of his neck. She held his gaze, eyes overflowing with love and desire as she shook her head. "No. I want you Jace… right here and now." she breathed, her voice thick with desire. "Are you ready?"
Jace nodded, holding her gaze as he leaned down and kissed her, slowly, passionately, lingering as she reached between them again, guiding him to her. She teased the tip of him around her folds, still drenched from her explosive climax, her breathing hitching slightly at the feeling of him stroking over her. She needed more, needed to feel him inside of her, needed that complete connection with him. Now.
She guided him to her entrance, meeting his gaze as both of them nodding to indicate the were ready before Jace started to move, gently sliding in, inch by inch, constantly gaging her reactions, trying as best he could not to hurt her until he knew how much she could take. Clary didn't look like she was in pain though, rather she looked like she wanted more as she lifted her hips, eyes begging him for more. Jace obliged sliding in deeper until he could feel himself completely buried inside of her. He groaned deeply at the sensation, pausing for a moment to take her in, breathing heavily as he held her gaze. Nothing had prepared him for how he would feel right now. This was something far more than a physical connection, it was more than desire and lust, it was pure, unadulterated love beyond anything he'd ever felt. Being will Clary filled him up while still leaving him wanting more. So much more…
"I love you." Jace whispered fervently as he started to move sliding in and out slowly, revelling in the incredible sensation of being inside of her. Clary bit her bottom lip, a gentle moan escaping her as he leaned in kissing her deeply, her legs wrapping around him, sliding one down the back of his leg as she let her hands roam, over his back, digging her nails in gently, earning a low groan from him.
The feeling of Jace being inside of her was more than she could ever describe, the complete connection to Jace more wonderful than she could ever put into words. She'd thought she might have been shy when it finally came to their moment, but being with him now was so immersive that all she could think about was the waves of pleasure he was giving her with every thrust, every kiss and caress. It was so much more than sex, it was pure adoration and love flowing between them. Jace touched her like she was rare and precious, worshipping her with every fibre of his being. It was almost too amazing for her to bear.
"Oh Jace…" She moaned, as she let her hands slip lower, settling on his lower back. She wanted more. "Please… harder…" she begged, burying her face in his neck as he obliged, sending her even higher and closer to her peak.
Jace's breathing was coming faster and harder as he moved with Clary, sweat starting to prick his skin from the heat building between them. Clary's moans started to escalate, building in volume, less controlled as were his. He was getting closer with every thrust, feeling his release building stronger and more powerful the harder and faster they went, her warm and slick insides clenching and opening reflexively to his movements. She felt better than anything he'd ever experienced, every part of him alive and in the moment with her, nobody else existed right then but Clary.
He felt her grab his ass, pulling him closer as if that were possible right now, as she devoured him with kisses, sucking gently as she went up his neck, along his jaw, pausing when she reached his lips. She met his gaze both of their eyes black pools of two people drunk on desire for each other, both breathing heavily as they felt the pressure inside of them becoming almost unbearable. Just when Clary felt like it couldn't get any better, Jace reached between them and started rubbing circles around her clit making Clary cry out in ecstasy, the sound muffled by Jace's sudden passionate kiss, her insides clenching around him as he groaned into her mouth. She sucked hard on his bottom lip as their lips parted, foreheads pressed together as she felt her release looming incredibly close, unable to control her cries anymore. Jace continued is work on her clit, thrusting harder, faster, so close he could hardly hold on, exerting every bit of self-control he had to get her there first. It wasn't long before he could feel her starting to tremble, her insides clenching hard around him as she practically screamed in ecstasy as her climax exploded through her. It was enough to send him over the edge as he thrust deep inside her once more, crying out loudly as he felt himself release inside of her.
He braced his hands either side of her, resting his forehead against hers, both of them hot and slick with sweat. Clary brought both her hands to his face, one cupped the back of his head, the other his jaw as she drew his mouth back to hers. Her kiss was soft and tender, lingering after as their breathing returned to normal. It seemed a long time before they could bear to separate themselves from each other. Finally Jace pulled himself out carefully before rolling to his back hands resting over his head. They lay side by side for a moment, neither of them speaking, simply taking in the impact of what they had just shared. Clary had always felt the pull toward Jace, drawn so powerfully to him in ways she could never truly understand. She still felt the pull now, their physical intimacy somehow making her even more drawn toward him. She rolled to her side, propping herself up on her elbow, placing her hand on his chest as she tangled one of her legs with his. He caught her gaze, smiling tenderly at her, placing his hand over hers.
"That was incredible." Clary stated, smiling at him a little giddy, still basking in the afterglow. "I can see why so many women are keen to jump into bed with the great Jace Herondale." She joked, giggling at the slight blush that crept into his face.
"Well I am pretty incredible." Jace agreed giving her his best cocky grin, before turning serious again, his face full of tenderness as he held her gaze. "Seriously though, that was… amazing. I've never felt anything even close to what I feel when I'm with you Clary."
Clary looked visibly touched as she leaned in kissing him briefly but tenderly. "I guess we should cover up incase brother dearest decides to break through that lock rune." She stated reluctantly.
"He could do that?" Jace asked, a little insecure at the thought. It was more than a little unnerving what Jonathan could be capable of sometimes.
Clary rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Unfortunately yes. Which means if he hasn't decided to barge in here tonight, he must really not want to interrupt us."
"Well I guess that's… nice?" Jace quirked one eyebrow, not quite ready to believe that Jonathan was capable of being gracious.
Clary laughed lightly. "I guess miracles do happen. The silent rune probably helped more than anything. I mean he's not stupid, but I guess no sound equals no rude interruptions?"
Jace slipped his free arm around her stroking her back gently. "Let's hope so." He agreed. "Now if you don't mind, I'd rather focus on you than your brother."
Clary nodded in agreement. "Okay." They shifted, getting under the covers, settling in together, completely exhausted. Jace lay on his back as Clary curled up next to him, resting her head on his chest. "Jace?" Clary spoke, her voice vulnerable all of a sudden. "Will you promise me something?"
Jace nuzzled his face into the top of her head comfortingly. "What is it?" He asked, his voice full of concern.
"If I ever go too far…. Pull me back?" She seemed all of a sudden very far away, like she was caught up in another moment in time.
Jace wasn't sure what to make of it, but he decided to put it out of his mind for now, focusing on comforting her instead. "I promise." He stated seriously, meaning every word.
Clary sighed contentedly after a moment, relaxing into his embrace. "Goodnight Jace. I love you."
Jace kissed the top of her head softly, lingering a moment, breathing in the scent of her hair. "I love you Clary." He whispered as he felt her drifting off against him. He closed his eyes, feeling himself drift off within seconds into sweet oblivion.
Jace opened his mouth slightly, as if to continue, his face softening even more, a slight blush creeping into his cheeks. Jace didn't blush. It made her feel special somehow, like part of him was sharing his firsts with her, no matter how many women he'd had before. She leaned in kissing him gently, lingering after, resting her forehead against his. Whatever the future held for them, she knew one thing for certain, she wanted more, so much more of this.
Ahhhh the long awaited first time. I love you've all enjoyed and are looking forward to seeing what comes next.