A/N: Wow thanks Natsumi and LunaNel, you guys are the only reason this chapter is up this fast. I think it's kind of funny that so few people find the Y/V pairing possible. I checked over at the FFX fanfic section and was surprised by all of the Rikku/Auron pairings. Not that I have anything against them, but that's about as likely as Hojo and well... ANYONE going at it! ::Shudders Violently:: I mean, jeez people!! ;P OH! This chapter is going to be on the light and funny side but the plot will definitely take on more drama in later entries.
The Exponent of Breath
Chapter 2. And Bingo Was His Name-O

The ex-Turk stood ramrod straight with crossed arms and a firm demeanor. He had survived the badgering of every other AVALANCHE member undeterred. What made this girl-turned-woman think he would fold like a deck of cards? It was true that the skinny little thief had undergone a shocking metamorphosis (caterpillar to butterfly, if you will). She possessed an air of utmost confidence and honor, the spirit of a true warrior. To say the little vixen made him uncomfortable would be a gross understatement.

But what did it matter? He hadn't the conventional emotions or a heart. There was only a gapping void beating within his breast, one that consumed those foolish enough to try and touch it. A sweet smile was painted on Yuffie's lips, a mischievous glint sparkled in her eyes, and the demon inside Vincent became enraged with how easily his master fell under their spell.

Was he to drink up her unusually pretty smiles? Melt under those entrancing gazes, and merrily skip after her? No, Vincent Valentine did not skip. Especially when the object of following kept ogling his materia. "I'm not going anywhere, so you might as well leave."

"Come on Vinny, you have to go with me!" She mastered the art of pleading without the whine during her 18th year and had been reaping the spoils ever since. Her current subject however, appeared immune to puppy-dog eyes. "It wouldn't be the same with out you."

"Everyone has been getting along well enough so far. Missing one more party won't matter." He stated matter-of-factly.

It truly hurt her that he thought that way. "Don't start that! A statement like that builds with time and before you know it, seven years have gone by! Think of everything you've missed out on. What if this was the one party you truly enjoyed and didn't get to experience it because you thought it wouldn't matter?" He glared coldly at her. "Who are you to lecture me?"

Yuffie's small margin of patience was wearing thin. "I may not be as wise as you are in many things, Vincent," she spat with barely concealed venom, "But I do know what living is and that is the opposite of your life!"

"What I do with 'my life' is none of your concern."

"None of my concern? Whether you believe it or not Vinny, you have friends and we care! I'll be damned if I let you scare me away so you can be alone in that fucking box!" His expression reflected deep thought, for a moment Yuffie thought she had won...that is, until he leapt back into his so- called 'box' and pulled the lid shut. Her brief state of shock quickly transformed into blind fury.

"VALENTINE!!!! You stubborn vampire-wannabe bastard!!" She pounded on the hated crate with her fists until her anger was nearly spent and two pools of blood had formed on the wood's surface. Realizing the futility of her efforts, Yuffie jammed the side of her Conformer into the gap between cover and base, using body weight to pry it open... without success.

"Grr Vinny, open up so I can kick your ass!" A muffled chuckle was her reply.

"I'm glad one of us finds this entertaining," the shinobi grumbled while trying to come up with a better plan of attack. Setting her weapon down, Yuffie retrieved a few bandages from her pack. After her wounds were properly dealt with, the perfect idea struck. If Vincent had seen the evil grin on the Wutai woman's face he never would have opened his mouth.

"Go away Yuffie, there's nothing you could possibly do to get me out of here."

"Oooh really? Is that a challenge?"

"More like a fact," said a monotone voice.

"I guess that mean there's only one thing for me to do..."
~*~Three Days Later~*~

"I'm Henry the eighth I am Henry the eighth I am, I am I got married to the widow next door She's been married seven times before And every one was an Henry (Henry) She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam) I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry Henry the eighth I am

Second verse same as the first!

I'm Henry the eighth I am Henry the eighth I am, I am I got married to the widow next door She's been married seven times before And every one was an Henry (Henry) She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam) I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry Henry the eighth I am"

The young ninja pressed her ear to the wood below and waited for signs of weakness; grinning like a madwoman when the telltale cloth crinkling could be heard. She was impressed actually; Vincent hadn't made a peep since the first chorus of Old Mac Donald. Three days of her heels hitting the sides of the coffin alone would have been enough to drive anyone insane...if it weren't for the frequent bouts of shifting her friend performed, Yuffie would've believe him unfazed, well almost.

Leaning back, she readied her lungs for the next performance. "OOOOH!"

"ALRIGHT!" Vincent bellowed, "If I come out will you shut up?!"

"Not unless you promise to go with me to Kalm!" The hilarity she found in his situation that she had been trying desperately to repress surfaced in her voice.

He growled. "You never give up do you?!"

"Nope." She stated proudly. "And believe me, there is plenty of beer on the wall to keep me amused."

The coffin shuddered at her implied threat. If the last 72 hours weren't punishment enough for his sins, Vincent didn't know what was. "Fine, I'll go. Now...get...off."

Yuffie happy danced her way over to the door, bag in hand, not remembering the last time she had been quite this satisfied with her day's work. She may be loosing her voice but not her touch.

Vincent, though, was less than happy. The coffin creaked as he lifted himself out and despite concentration, could not stop the vein above his right eye from twitching. He mentally conjured a list of different ways to wipe that smug look off her face, in order of most painful to least. He slowly commenced the gathering of his supplies. Revenge always was sweet.

The ninja grew nervous watching him shuffle around the room with an increasingly sadistic grin playing across his features. She decided to remedy it by whistling "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" The menacing glare he shot the current bane-of-his-existence did nothing to deter her song. She was thoroughly pleased with herself, and it pissed him off to no end.

A/N: Hey all! I had fun writing this chapter and hoped everyone liked it. I revamped Chapter 1 to fix a few problems and would like to thank FoxFireX17 for pointing that out. ;P Anyway, tell me what you think and I'll post the next section.