Chapter 5

I sighed and stared at the board, my eyes wide. No, I didn't see anything on the board; I was just zoned out daydreaming.

Or more like reliving all the nightmares that have been happening to me.

I snapped out of my daydreaming and looked around the room. My eyes landed on Potter who had an empty expression on his face. He probably wanted to make me feel sorry for him . . . pathetic.

The bell rang and I grabbed all of my books and rushed out of the room, 'calling goodbye to Matt.

Today would be and easy day and I would just skip lunch and then go to Divination.

My cloak billowed around me as I ran and entered my room. I rushed over to my bed and flopped onto it, and burying my face in my hands. I wasn't going to cry . . . never again was I going to shed a tear.

"What the-?" I murmured, glancing at the folded piece of parchment on the dresser.

I stood up and walked over to the dresser, grabbing the sheet of parchment and opening it.

I gasped as I read it.

Dearest Lily,

You really want to know who I am? Meet me in the Charms room at 10 p.m. Then you'll know.


With a shaky hand, I set the piece of parchment in my pocket.

Yes, I was going to go. What if James didn't do it?

I moaned.

Then I only made a fool of myself. For all I know the rapist could've set this whole thing up to make it look as though James did it.

Oh my . . .

I had to talk to James and make sure.

I raced out of my room, running as fast as I could to the Great Hall where everyone was eating lunch.

One glance told me James wasn't there and I inwardly cursed. Just before I was about to exit the Great Hall, Professor Dumbledore called my name.

"Yes Professor?" I said, once I walked up to the Head Table.

"May I have a word with you?" Professor Dumbledore said, standing up. I nodded and followed him to his office.

Dumbledore sat down in his chair and looked at me with a grave expression on his face. Oh no . . .

"I'm sorry Miss Evans." He said, handing me a parchment.

With a trembling hand I took the parchment. Somehow I already knew what was on it.

Professor Dumbledore,

We are sorry to announce that Miss Evans's mother died today. Please inform Miss Evans. We are terribly sorry. Her funeral will be held Friday. We also found a note on top of Mrs. Evans's dead body.

The Ministry of Magic

I felt a lump in my throat and then looked at the other parchment, which I hadn't notice at first.


And you thought it was James the whole time . . . I feel sorry for you . . . not. Now James will never trust you because you didn't trust him. Ha.


I looked at Dumbledore, eyes wide and then back at the parchment. Then back at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore looked back at me and turned his head to stare out the window. He rubbed his temples.

"Miss Evans, would you like a counselor? I can get one for you because of all the things you've been through . . . You can tell the counselor anything."

I threw the paper on the ground and ran out the room.

My mom . . . my own mom.

"Lily, keep your back straight!" My mom's scolding voice flew through my head. Then her voice grew soft, "Lily, I love you with all my heart . . . always remember that." Her voice now had laughter in it, "Lily, you are such a silly goose!"

Tears started forming but I didn't let them fall. Instead, anger flooded through me. I was going see the rapist tonight and find out who did this all. And to think, I thought it was James all along. Now I had proof that it wasn't James.

My mom . . .

I decided that I wasn't going to go to next period. It was too much for me to handle.

"WHY!?" I yelled, punching the nearest brick wall with my fist. My knuckles started bleeding but I didn't feel the pain. It was nothing compared to what I was really going through.

I crumpled up into a ball on the ground and kept pounding my fist on the wall as if it did something to me.

"Why? Why? Why?" I can't remember how many times I repeated why but that was all that ran through my head at the moment.

I could've committed suicide right then and there . . . I mean the astronomy tower was only a couple of floors away from where I was . . . but I had to know who did this to me and ruined my life.

My life?

What life?

It wasn't perfect, it wasn't happy; it was full of sorrow and sad memories.

Every time I had ever been happy, something always came along to ruin it . . . what was the sense of being happy then?

I can't remember how long I stayed there, crumpled up into a ball . . . I think at one point I even fell asleep, but all I knew for sure, when I was fully conscious, was that at the moment, it was 8 o'clock.

I stood up and starting cracking my knuckles, getting ready to punch someone's face off but first, I needed to do something important.

I ran through the many halls. I admit, I am a fast runner, but I also get had a tendency to get tired fast after running for about, oh . . . 1 minute?

I stopped and leaned against a wall to catch my breath, then continued to run. This process continued for a few more times until I finally reached my destination.

The Gryffindor common room.

I looked up at the Fat Lady and said the password. My eyes immediately landed on James . . . James, who even though I blamed everything on him *still* didn't hate me. James . . . I liked James . . . a lot. But who could blame me for thinking it was him? All the evidence at the time seemed to lead to him.

I quickly made my way to James and started getting nervous. I felt as though I was walking onto my tomb. I stopped in front of James and shifted my feet uncomfortably.

"James . . . can I talk to you alone for a few seconds?"

James looked at me and then his look changed from hopeful to cold in a flash. "What, going to shove a letter into my face again Lily?"

My eyebrows frowned and I lowered my head, eyes on the ground, "Please?"

James took a look at me and then stood up, sighing. "Let's go up to the dormitories then."

James starting walking up the stairs to his dormitory and I followed him. Everyone in the common room gave whistles but surprisingly when I glared at them, they all shut up.

Once we reach his dormitory he opened the door and I quickly covered my eyes when I saw Sirius only in boxers. Sirius screamed like a girl and ran over to his dresser, grabbing a robe out and throwing it on.

"Sirius . . . out." James demanded.

"Yes sir!" Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows looking at Lily and then at James.

Sirius exited and James turned to Lily, raising an eyebrow.

"I . . . James . . ." I stuttered. I couldn't help it. There was so much confusion in my life. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for thinking it was you. I'm sorry for everything!" Right then and there I broke out and started sobbing in front of James Potter.

James looked helpless and he awkwardly put his arms around me. James . . . was a blessing. I think if he didn't forgive me I would've seriously committed suicide later that night . . . but I was probably going to die tonight anyways. More like murdered.

One hour James stood there with me in his arms . . . one hour! And in that one hour I told him everything . . . all my feelings about the whole thing, my thoughts, just everything. And not once did he interrupt me. Not once did he tell me to get away from him. Not once . . .

After I got gone talking and crying, James finally said something to me, "Lily, I think you should just take it easy and go to sleep, ok? It'll be over . . . it'll be over. I'll find the killer and if I have to, I'll kill him myself. No one deserves this . . . not even Snape for crying out loud! I don't see how anyone could kill people. But there's people out there Lily, psycho people; people who don't care about anything. Just remember that I'll always be here when you need me Lily."

I looked up at James, wanting to cry. I couldn't cry anymore. My eyes hurt, they stung, and they were dry. I had no more tears left in me. The idiot took all my tears . . .

James . . .

James looked back down at me, tears falling down his own cheeks. Tears coming out of his blue eyes . . . blue eyes . . . brown eyes . . . oh God, how could I have been so blind?

Before I knew it, his lips were covering mine. At first I didn't know what to do. I mean . . . it was my first kiss. My first kiss with James . . . James Potter. My first kiss was full of sorrow, grief, and passion, all at the same time. And yet . . . I loved it. I felt the sparks, the fireworks . . . everything.

James put his hands on either side of my face and deepened the kiss. Slowly, I put my hands in his hair, and started playing with it. His hands traveled down to my waist, keeping them there. This was my first kiss . . . but it could very well be my last.

We pulled away at last, breathing deeply, staring into each others eyes.

"Good bye James," And then I took both of my hands away from James and left with one last, longing look at him.

I jogged down the dormitory stairs, head down. I slowed my pace once I was in the hall. I admit it, I'm nervous. Extremely nervous. I was going to see the person who rapped me and killed my best friend, my mum . . .

What person would think killing would solve everything? An idiot, that's who.

I looked around me. This could be my last time seeing Hogwarts . . . The knights bowed to me as I walked, the portraits stared at me, and the lights flickered every once and a while.

Oh no . . .

It was already 9:30 and Filch was out with Mrs. Norris . . . crap.

As I walked, I hid into the corners, letting the darkness embrace me. I checked each corner carefully. I finally made it to the Charms room. I got lucky and didn't get caught.

Staring at the Charms door, I put my hand on the door knob.

Oh God . . . I couldn't do it. My heart pounded against my chest. But I had to . . .

The door gave a loud squeak and I winced, looking around. Just too . . . you know . . . make sure know one was there.

I slowly walked into the room and squint my eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness. Well, no one was in here . . . yet. Shakily, I walked over to a desk and sat down, looking around nervously.

I was so stupid! My mind thought up every possibly murder scene, frantically searching for a realistic idea of what might happen. One was of the rapist coming out nowhere with a knife. Another one was of him giving me a slow death. Like choking or something. Another scene was of him hanging me.

I gave a shudder

"So Lily, you decided to show up after all."

I gasped as the person I least expected to be the rapist came out of the shadows.


A/N: Muahaha! Erm, if you have any questions about this story, just look at my ujournal. The site is in my profile. Just look down a couple of entries and you'll eventually find it. It explains what is happening and all. THANKS FOR REVIEWING!!! Oh, and thank you Shree for being my beta reader!!!

Thanks to:


Summer Rain- I'll probably update every week to two weeks. There's only going to be two or three chapters left though.



Piggylette- Just look at my journal if you're confused about it! Sorry it's confusing.


Ninetales122- Lol, you'll find out . . .


really good!

Nick Dipalma hater

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Summer Rain

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