Author's Note: I admit, despite how much I love Spider-man in general and the MCU rendition of him in particular, I still have not seen Homecoming. Blasphemy, I know. But, I do read fan fiction for it, and after seeing authors frequently send Happy and/or Tony to get Peter after school lets out, I had this idea...

Also, until such time as we get a Proper Resolution from Avengers 4, I plan to operate in a weird AU state where the events of Infinity War either didn't happen or have already been resolved, your choice.

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter One - Stars and Stripes

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Mr. Stark: Heads up, had a change in transportation for this afternoon. He promised not to throw anything if you don't go for his legs again

Peter frowned at his cell phone, but only barely had time to text back a baffled ? before his teacher was turning back around at the front of the room. Quickly, he tucked the device back in his hoodie pocket and feigned interest in the political maneuvers behind King Henry the Eighth marrying his fourth wife, the German-born Anne of Cleves. He'd already watched a documentary the previous week with May that went into way more detail about the wives than his History Class, and so felt perfectly justified in sneaking his phone out.

At least, he did up until the well-worn nub of an eraser hit the side of his head. Peter's spidey sense knew it was coming, but with so many eyes around he decided against attracting attention by ducking. After bending down to nab the offending object off the ground, the teen looked over at MJ, who stared back with her usual neutral expression and a single raised eyebrow. Sighing, Peter gently tossed the eraser back to her, then settled in to pay attention as their teacher's lecture moved on to the fifth wife, Catherine Howard. Honestly, who thought it was a good idea to let an old man with three kids already marry a literal teenager?

Mr. Stark's text message managed to completely slip his mind until school let out, when Peter and Ned were coming out the front doors and saw a crowd of students gathering near the parent pick-up area of the street.

"Crap," Peter muttered. "That's probably for me."

Ned just gave him a no duh look.

They started walking over, necks craning even as they tried to avoid knocking into anybody, until they stood at a spot where they could see an old-school motorcycle sitting at the curb, a tall, blonde, and very familiar man leaning against it.

"No way," Ned breathed, practically starting to quiver. "No way, no way no freakin' way." Peter just stared.

Steve Rogers had yet to look up from the sketchbook he was drawing in, clearly aware of the high schoolers watching him but perfectly content to ignore them. No one seemed willing to do more than whisper and snap pictures, but Peter knew that wouldn't last. And sure enough, as he stood there, someone broke the line and approached the literal living legend.

That someone being MJ.

She came to a stop directly in front of the super soldier, held up her own sketchpad and asked, "Realistic or cartoon?"

Rogers glanced up with a blink. Peter would say he looked startled. "Little of both. You?"

"Little of both," MJ repeated. "I like to draw people in a crisis. Sometimes that means exaggeration to get the point across." The captain blinked again, and then slowly started to grin.

"Are you the one who shows up to detention of her own volition?" At MJ's nod, he smirked. "Peter's talked about you."

It was MJ's turn to blink, though she followed it up with a glance in Peter and Ned's direction. Rogers followed it, and spotted them.

"Hey kid," he called, closing the book and tucking it away. "Hope you don't mind the change in plans, Happy has the day off and Tony got dragged into a shareholders meeting."

Steeling himself, Peter walked forward, Ned belatedly trailing after him. "No, don't mind, it's fine, just would have been nice to get a bit of warning, y'know?"

The captain frowned. "Didn't Tony text you?"

Peter felt like slapping himself. "Oh. Yeah. He did, he just- nevermind. Can we get out of here? Please?"

"Climb on. Nice to meet you, Miss Jones. Ned," he added, nodding at the still-stunned boy. Peter didn't have time to offer anything more than a grimace to his friends before getting onto the captain's motorcycle behind him. The engine roared to life, and then they were off.

Having never ridden one before, it took Peter a few minutes to get used to the open-air vehicle, leaning into the superhero in front of him and following his slight posture adjustments whenever they turned. He didn't mind the rushing wind, which was pretty similar to the sensation of web-slinging, but his spidey sense kept going off when they got close to cars and especially trucks. That took some adjusting. When he felt as comfortable as he was going to get, the boy addressed his unexpected driver.

"Okay, we've only spoken three times ever, and I know for a fact that I have never talked about MJ in front of you." His words might have gotten snatched by the wind, but Peter knew the captain's hearing was just as good as if not better than his own.

"But you talk about her to Tony," the man replied. "And in case you didn't know, kid, he's a terrible gossip. Especially with Bruce, and even more especially with Clint, now that they're speaking again. And when that man starts bragging about you to the rest of us, he doesn't stop."

"Uh." Peter had no good response to that.

"Got your stuff or do we need to swing by home?"

"Uh, no, I've got my suit, I'm good."

"Change of clothes? Toothbrush?"

"Already at the compound," Peter answered on autopilot. "Mr. Stark got me a bunch of stuff to keep in my room there."

"He does like to drop practical gifts onto people's heads, doesn't he?"

Peter thought of the double decker bed in his bedroom at home, and the state of the art laptop, and fully loaded work desk- "Yeah, I guess."

"Did he really loan you a car for your driving test?"

The teen groaned and planted his head against the captain's back. "Yes. And then he refused to take it back when I was done. By the time my aunt got involved, he'd already transferred the title to her name and sent over a check to take care of the jump in our insurance bill." He felt more than heard the captain chuckle.

"Yeah, that's Tony for you."