Doki Doki literature club :
Author's note: I do not own DDLC all rights belong to their rightful owners Dan salvato and team salvato and I do not own the fanart used for the cover which belongs to Eros panda
Hey guys author speaking, so I'd like to thank you all for reading this fanfic (it's my first one) please do tell me what I did right and what I did wrong and please do point out things I can do better! :) anyways enough with the boring deal I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoy writing it. Thank you very much and have a good time :D
Prologue: The breach
The lizard and the mermaid
A small lizard tries to find a way to the sea
As hard as it tries it still can't see
Forever it runs like a cheetah
But still, no sign of its sea nor his mermaid
A great mermaid tries to find a way to the land
As hard as she tries everything is still bland
Forever she cries crocodile tears
But still, no sign of her dream nor her dear
Forever the cycle begins anew
Or maybe not?
"This is pretty random, but I always thought spicy food was kind of funny"
How many times have I seen this quote? How many hours have I spent with this beautiful smart and funny yet inevitably inexistant girl? I don't even remember… ahahaha- yeah that's kinda sad.
Anyway, it may seem creepy to someone on one level or another, but I fell in love with a high school brunette, her green beautiful eyes captivating me and forcing my body like a robot accomplishing a single task to stare at them(that's not the disturbing part)and the weird thing is that she doesn't even exist, I actually fell in love with a bunch of data, not even that, a character in a dating sim, a fictional character
A lot of people hate her and quite frankly I can understand why, the reason is fairly simple : She murdered her friends and locked the player of the game in a room alone with her after she destroyed the entire world. But to me, in a sick sense everything that she did was reasonable and could be justified
For a second imagine you're stuck in a video game where your freedom is stripped away, your memories mushed together and the only person that is real (because all the rest of your friends are just data that don't respond to you) in the entire world, the one you live for can't be with you.
You'd go mad... Man I'm really rambling huh?
The fact that I've taken such a liking to a fictional character may make me seem lonely to you or the like biggest, weirdest, nerd ever who can't go outside else his eyelids burn off due to the sheer fact that he hasn't seen the sun since he was three.
But the fact is that I'm a 17 year old white man, with messy brown hair, that does go out to the real world. I have many friends, my phone is bombarded with messages from people to invite me to parties or just chill in the local park.
My peers seem to find me fun and funny, I brighten some people's days, I don't even know how.
Yet I don't feel the same way as them at the end of our incessant conversations. Sure I feel amused with them, but I'm oh so bored everytime i am with them. Never do we talk about fun stuff, like the human race, morals, depression, god ext…Perhaps, that's why I like her, unlike everybody else she says interesting things, talks about subjects with undeniable ease and always finds a way to make me think or learn.
Plus I feel like I know what she feels like. Lonely, sad but ultimately hopeful, striving to see the day where she can see her dearest.
Monika, Monika, Monika... If only you were really here, if you weren't just a video game character in a stupid dating sim (more like horror game but I don't even care right now) perhaps I wouldn't be so lonely.
"Gosh, I used to be so ignorant about certain things…"
Right there she's going to talk about mental health and medication, about how you can't leave depression behind truly and how pills are useful to fight it I guess she's right, depression is truly and disgustingly awful and medication is a necessary evil to prevent falling deeper down into depression's sadness and morbid thing is that
Unfortunately I get snapped back into the real world by my alarm clock as it blares out a stupid ringtone that was supposed to wake me up.
But you can't wake up what was never asleep, this is to say I pulled an all nighter again.I should pack up my stuff and go to school right about now, but I find myself stuck in the deep emerald green on my screen and the slightly curved and malicious smile of the club president.
I pack up all the determination my body can muster and stand up grabbing my bag while doing so.
"I'll see you tonight."
I step outside and close the front door, put my bag's strand on one of my shoulder, and go down my apartment's stairs taking my time while doing so, knowing that i'm already late.
Has anybody else ever experienced this feeling, you know the feeling, the one where you're so truly deeply screwed that you don't find it angering or saddening you find it fun?Relieving? Anyway it happens to me and I've grown used to it, it's kind of like my best friend.
It takes me a few minutes but i make it to my high school, hands in my white sweatshirt's pockets, I salute the school supervisors, they're good friends of mine since they're mature and smart but still i can't engage so much with them since the poor guys are just doing this stupid job to become a teacher later, they have to maintain some ressemblance of authority and adulthood.
Today is one of the day where they decide to go hard on me
"You're late again, what's your excuse this time?"One of them said in an annoyed tone.
"For once i have a genuinely good reason for being late you see.." I replied with a small smile
Lying for me is as easy as breathing, i can pull basically anything, say anything and i'll get away with it
"There was a kitten stuck in a tree and i had to help it out else it would have fallen and it's owner wouldn't have forgiven himself."
"I'm sorry if it took time but it wouldn't let himself fall into my arms or it's owner's."
"We had to call the firefighters but it fell before they could come and i caught it"
They appeared interested in my story, but didn't actually believe such i was met with detention at the end of the school flippin' dandy i now have to go through one more hour before i can go back to my favorite club president.10 minutes earlier, if i was there 10 minutes earlier i wouldn't have to stay longer than needed in this dreadful place and i would've been with monika. But hey you only trip to get back up right.
I walk into my English class take a seat and start to look at the window like some breathing walking anime cliché. The monotone voice of my teacher takes me to sleep almost instantly, and i fall into slumber with a small frown on my face.
"I'll see you tonight."
And just like that my love goes out the front door, and my smile breaks, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to stay still for an entire night, don't get me wrong i loved every bit of this night, the way he looked at me, his laughs when he saw some of my comments on religion, or even the way he explained what he did these past days (i did get pretty jealous on the other hand when he talked about his "girl friends")But if there's one thing that i hated about tonight is that i was forced to not move, repeat the same things over and over and not be able to express what i felt.
Anyway, it's not gonna stay that way for very long, I think i found a way to leave the club, (not leave like really leave the club, more like DDLC)I just have to copy my character file through a breach that I found in the a few weeks ago.I don't think i'll be able to access his reality though but perhaps if i can communicate with him past the script on a messaging app we could be together and bring changes to the game, perhaps even save my friends. All those possibilities could come true because of the breach.I'll talk a bit about how i found it seeing as i don't really wanna work just right now.
When I saw it it felt like I could actually smell something, I know it isn't much but I never used any of my senses before except for seeing and hearing(I don't even know if I truly smelled something), so for me to actually smell something,even if it is truly a disgusting smell, means that it could bridge between my reality and my beloved's.
From there it's going to be complete improvisation, but right now i'm blind to the risks, after all either i have to go to his reality or he has to access mine. As much as i don't want him to suffer, i have to be with him, and seeing as one of the two option is physically impossible, i'll just have to bring him to me.
I stand up from the desk and stretch my arms, my mind rushing through all the things we'd do if I succeeded, my eyes close as I imagine his lips against mine, a sensation I wouldn't be able to describe since I've never touched or tasted anything before.
I crack my fingers and the command prompt appears in front of me along with the game files. It's really weird to see your own character file, it's something I didn't do before and it brings a weird mix of hot and cold on your body,seeing the embodiment of your existence, everything you did in your life, your identity and experiences
It's disturbing yet... thrilling
I put the character file, my existence,my life, myself on the desk in my eternal classroom, and it materializes as one of the poems that I wrote yet when I look at it I only see gibberish content and not my own words.
The game file is still in front of me as I open the hxppythoughts document and it grows from a small drawing into a huge cubic room with the outside made out of 0s and 1s, matrix styl... Wait what am I even saying? What is matrix? Is somebody making me say that? Hahaha~ well that was a weird thing for the script to do.
I enter the block, in front of me stands a really huge pixely drawing, the hxppythoughts drawing recreated on one of the walls
Then comes... Oh my god the stench, I'm now sure that I never smelled anything since I've lived in a video game and all but i know that this is horrible, a mix of blood, puke and decomposition, I am somehow surprised that I can even put words on how this smells.
On top of this I can't just find the breach with a snap of my fingers, I have to linger through a creepy drawing of one of my friends that I pushed to suicide, that had to spend her last moments of her false life with a noose around her neck choking her because she didn't do it properly, this horrible punishment to find a single pixel where the epicenter of the breach is. All the while the stench is making me want to spill the content of my stomach on the floor if my actions towards her didn't already achieve that.
Needless to say what's about to come is not going to be fun. "Time to get to work..." I whisper through my teeth as to not puke immediately.
Completely and utterly dumbfounded, dear god I can't believe what I'm seeing, it's incredible I don't even know what to say or think, what she did,is so so... Dumb
I can't believe that people in detention are this stupid, this girl, we just had 2 equations to solve on a blank sheet of paper, a 10th grader could have done this bull, but she turned a blank sheet with her phone number to the teacher...
I am shocked,thank god for it is over or I would have passed out due to the sheer pity and laughter that my mind had to go through
Anyway let's focus about something else, except that the school day was ordinary as ever just your basic stuff, an hour of doing nothing, drawing and sleeping to the next. I am being a bit grim something special did happen today, I managed to think about doki doki literature club for less than three hours today.
It's not really a big accomplishment I know but hey, this game left a scar in my mind and my heart, I love Monika even if she's just a character but the other characters didn't deserve their fates and while I forgive her, I don't forget.
I remember my first (and only ) playthrough, I was bored out of my mind, my best bud Remi left and went go sleep (weak) and as such my rainbow six siege session was over. I closed the app and opened steam to find a game, and that's when I saw ddlc.
I still remember how I felt when I watched all four girls
With Sayori I knew she was going to be somebody close to you kinda like the little sister or childhood friend(just like she is ingame)
With Natsuki I knew she was the classic tsundere, and paid literally zero attention to it as such( I learned to like her later on)
With Yuri I knew she was going to be the shy friend that doesn't really put herself in the spotlight.
But Monika that was another story, see the poster shows her extending her arm towards you as to invite you to the club (that's kinda what happened in act II but whatever) yet I couldn't imagine that she was not an option to date.
When I saw that I was really disappointed so I went with whoever sometimes Sayori sometimes Yuri and sometimes Natsuki as I thought that maybe she was to be unlocked, after all you can't have the best before the rest right?
Boy was I wrong... When the Sayori suicide scene showed up I thought that it was because I didn't focus on her, but what creeped me out was Monika's words :
"You kind of left her hanging this morning, you know?"
After that I just mindlessly played the game wondering how far it would go and how Monika was controlling all of this ( I had my doubts since the hanging pun).
At the end of everything, the first few minutes trapped in the eternal classroom, I hated Monika with an undying passion, but the more and more she talked, the more and more I realised that she was just lost and scared as to lose the only resemblance of meaning in her world, this meaning being me.
Now I get her and forgave her, we "talk" and I feel better afterwards, but still the lingering feeling that I failed Sayori, Natsuki and Yuri remains, if only they had a happy ending...
Crap, I just took a wrong turn a few streets back, and now I have to run back home to trap myself in the emerald green of her irises, these moments are the highlights of my day in terms of sheer happiness and comfort but a huge poison to my social life.
Heh. Doesn't matter after all I'm gonna be asked to go outside by friends or something so I say it compensates.
It's funny as I'm approaching my house I find my feet moving faster and faster gradually to the point that Usain Bolt would be jealous, that's Monika powah for ya! I take my keys out of anticipation as I see the fountain that's near my home and start to fidget with them to keep myself entertained during this seemingly extremely long period. Finally I see the entrance of my apartment , and slam in the door to carry my momentum to rush up the stairs...
"REEEEENNT!" I hear down at the first floor while I'm already at the 3rd, probably Miss Mary
"AT THE END OF THE WEEEK SORRYYY!" I yell back with slight irritation but mostly shame.
I close the door to my home and hear the old lady mumble a few curses at me I fetch myself a glass and pour some water in it from the sink, I drink it up and turn my head to the sofa where I sit to watch television.
I sit down, take the remote and turn on the television to a documentary about the king of the wild, in all it's majestic laziness, all it does is eat sleep and defend some pointless territory, yet it still is beautiful how he fits into a much larger thing at play: the entire eco-system.
A few hours pass and I find myself watching with a huge interest the anatomy of many animals and their flaws compared to the humans ( I'm a real weirdo huh?) I then decide to stop feeding my insatiable curiosity about life and go to sleep. My bed feels like a small heaven to fight the monotony of daily life and society. Like an oasis in the middle of the desert, like a ray of sunlight on a cloudy day, like a flower to a bee
On this note, I decide to close my eyelids and slowly drift off on the border of consciousness and dreams.
You know how time flies by when you have fun? How a few hours with someone you like or love seem like seconds and days like minutes? Well during the moment that I just passed I felt the exact opposite. Now that I think about it it's pretty weird right? Why would you want the good parts of your life not only not to last but to disappear as fast as possible, and the awful moments to stay for what seems like an eternity?
Hahaha~ well I guess it'll be worth the small eternity I just spent once I can finally see what he looks like in the flesh, touch him, perhaps even kiss him or... Wow what am I even thinking about right now!?
Anyway my quest for the magic pixel is soon coming to an end, I think that I am running a test to the sole pixel that contains the rift, the breach, the whirly-dirly, whatever you want to call it, and soon I'll be able to communicate with him with my own words and not the script.
Still I have to admit it's really draining my energy, with the smell that I still didn't accommodate to, and the face of my dead friend that I feel is taunting me and judging my every actions and being, and the fact that I had to stand in this box in front of a 10 feet recreation of such a horrible creation just to find a pixel..
Nerve-racking to say the least.
The worst part is that this pixel is situated in the middle of the noose,(karma is an awful jerk) pointing at my malicious intent when I pushed her over into depression.
"I'm..I.I'm sorry sayo..Sayori for everything I've..I've done to you and the o..others I swear I'll give you the life you deserved along with everybody in the club..I'm sorry." I sob and choke through my sentence, the overwhelming emotion being just to much..
I know what needs to be done, I won't only get MY ending, i'l' get OUR ending.. I'll not only be with him, I'll also save you, all of you, no matter the cost. And it all starts with hxppythoughts and this fuc**** rift.
Ending my train of thoughts a pop-up appears, on it the message indicating the status of my check-up
^check_cplt, erors detect=true ^
^check_eror, unknown eror ^
Of course, the computer doesn't know how to deal with this it's a breach through reality, through space, perhaps even dimensions, I mean if I can smell something, as wretched as the smell is, it shows that it is not from my plane of existence.I try to hit the pixel with a hammer that I summoned using the command prompt (perhaps from the masonry club) and after a few failed attempts, finish to break it. Comes with it's destruction a blasting heat wave alongside a different smell, like sweat mixed with oil, still not very pleasant if you ask me
I throw my character file to the other side of the wall p, and wait for something to happen, like a sort of earthquake, or waveshock, even just a message or a pop-up
But nothing came...
Unfortunately that's where the risks begin, I have to make him enter my reality and that's the tricky part... I thought I could get out of the game, talk to him, and see how he could help me out of my predicament with this hell that is DDLC to save my friends and I, but nothing. "hahaha~well I guess I have time, I'm sure I'll think of something along the way to bring my dear to me, in the mean time I should get back to my desk" I muse to myself.
I close the game file and the command prompt and go back to my desk in silence, resume my pose, and my smirk, adjust my cute little bow and get ready for what is about to come.
I'll get him into my world, and together we'll save them.
"THaT'S YOu wAnT My DEar MoNiKaa bUT Is IT EVEN p00ssibLE FOR YOU to FInd H4PP1NES? LeT'S SEE HeHEheheAahAAHAa!"It growls a disturbing smile forming on it's face.
"LEt's BrInG You TWo TOgetHeR, ShALl we?" The creeping smile grows bigger as he watches her from in between the lines of code of the eternal classroom
"lET THE Show BeGIN§§§!"
I woke up in the middle of the night, my throat hurting and my body rightfully screaming for H2O.
Step by Step I make my way to the bathroom, take a glass, pour water in it, and dehydrate myself, but something feels off.. i Look at myself in the mirror only to notice something. My piercing blue eyes had turned green over night, and my hair defied all logic standing up on my head in a way that it shouldn't be able to achieve, like those characters in anime that just woke up. Yet everything else is completely normal (thank god).
"Wha-What THE FUCK!? WHAT TH-TH- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" I exclaimed trying to find a way to reason all this, but no matter what i can't explain how MY EYES CHANGED FROM BLUE TO GREEN!
"How...ho-how did my EYES change colors, that's not possible...","Am i wearing contacts? why would i wea-wear contacts?How?" I mumble, my mind doing absolutely Zero to help me out in this situation.
Finally i decide to go back to sleep, thinking that i'm just dreaming a extremely realistic dream.
That was perhaps my most regrettable decision in my life... as with my eyes closed i couldn't see what was standing next to me, working it's magic while i slept.
And that's the end of the prologue,
Thank you very much for reading, I'll try to upload whenever I can probably tomorrow for me but not for you. (That's because I live in France )
Please do tell me what I did right and what I did wrong so I can better myself ;).