032. Shoot

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Adam has considered using the gun locked in his mother's attic storage-case, covered in lint and dust. Not on other people, no — but himself.

Then he meets Fiona.

And then, Adam loses her. Because he's not a girl.

Before she disappears from Degrassi High, he sometimes saw Fiona toting around a crumply, white-and-black Marlboro box. She flicks it open, daydreaming in biology, exposing its contents.

Rainbow crayons.

That gives him an idea.

Adam faces his reflection in the mirror, hating, hating it, and presents a gun-muzzle to it, pulling the trigger with no hesitation. The stream of lukewarm, clear tapwater splashes back Adam's face.

"Yeah... that works," he mutters, itching at his old burn-scars, grinning at the sheer, crazed hilarity.

Thanks, Fiona.

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Degrassi isn't mine. This is a little bit personal for a fic because I can see myself in Adam when I was a teenager and now. Same kind of internalized struggle with being trans and urges to hurt myself and wanting to die. I would scratch myself to the point of scarring instead of cutting and I burn myself too. Heavy thing aside: thanks for the read! Any comments/thoughts are appreciated as long as they're geared in a positive way instead of making fun/berating suicidal people.