They hadn't seen each other for eight years.
During the time Tezuka had gone overseas and began his career in Germany, Fuji had written him on multiple occasions. Whether it was for trivial things or updates on the club. Once he had gone into high school, Fuji's emails became scarce but every now and then Tezuka would check. The amount of emails he would get from the Tensai of Seigaku had been reduced to once every week and after that to once every two weeks.
Tezuka couldn't complain. In fact, even he had been too busy with training to reply or shoot him an email of his own, so he would answer them whenever he could. Until one day they had stopped.
It has been 5 years since he heard from the Tensai and although he casually asked Oishi once high school was done where he had disappeared to, Oishi simply replied that he had been studying for his own degree. At this Tezuka couldn't help but suppress a chuckle for many reasons. One because it was unbecoming of him to do so especially over the phone with his good friend and second… Because he knew Fuji hardly ever studied, actually when had he ever?
Taking the response, he simply agreed the best way he could and moved on. He had become a sensation overseas and in Japan especially. The first, if not the second best since Echizen Nanjiro, was what some people whispered, screamed throughout the tournament stages and he couldn't help but feel accomplished with his hard work to make it as far as he had. But still, there was always room for improvement.
So after winning the Roland-Garros he excused himself from his managers celebration; already understanding his mannerisms to even question it, he walked into his hotel room. His limbs far from tired but his mind exhausted. Being on already three consecutive tournaments not to mention the previous exhibition matches that had actually taken a toll on his body he plopped himself onto the bed despite the sweat slowly drying off his body.
Closing his eyes, Tezuka took in a deep breath and then another. Right when his conscious was about a foot towards the doorway to sleep did he wake to a loud, or rather that's what it sounded like, beep from his computer. Already knowing what it meant, he softly groaned deciding to answer it later, tomorrow even, but then something had prompted him to check just to get it out of the way.
Standing up and stretching his body awake he moved to his computer chair, opening his laptop and checking his email. If there was one person who he often spoke to it was the now successful physical therapist of his friend, Oishi.
"Hey Tezuka, congrats on winning the Roland-Garros! We're so happy for you not to mention proud. We always knew you could do it. We're planning on a get together for when you come back. Bringing back the whole team for it, what do you say? When you get a chance, shoot me a response. Would be great seeing you again."
Ghosting his fingers over the keyboard, he thought of a response when it suddenly occurred to him. "Bringing back the whole team for it." That sentence held a weight and even a bit of hope that his nerves awakened completely on edge. It was nothing but a long shot but the thought of actually meeting Fuji again brought a sudden rush of emotions.
Back in his Seigaku days Fuji had been nothing but kind and although his antics sometimes pushed him to nearly having an anxiety attack, he was nothing but a thoughtful and great friend. They had gone through a lot together as friends and as teammates and even though they had barely seen each other outside of school save for maybe once or twice, he couldn't help but feel that he owed him a lot. There were things he could confide, trust in him with and he would always be considerate of it.
But even though the sudden halt of emails had caught him off guard he had always thought it was because of school or maybe even because of personal matters. He knew of the relationship between his father and not to mention his younger brother. Maybe something had happened at home.
All the things that he hadn't really put much thought into suddenly came to light and overwhelmed him. He became anxious and anticipated seeing him, even yearned for it. So he sent Oishi a quick reply that he would attend and stood up to take a shower.
If it was one thing that he remembered the most aside from winning the Nationals with his team was one specific night almost right after that day, and unsurprisingly it had to do with said Tensai.
He remembered Fuji walking alongside him as they walked towards his house. It had been quiet just like always, something he always found pleasant. The autumn breeze picking up every now and then ruffling his hair even more than he was used to earning him a soft chuckle from Fuji. "The wind likes your hair, Tezuka." Fuji said softly turning to look at him.
He didn't say anything but his frown deepened even more causing more of those silvery chuckles from the teen beside him. Doing absolutely nothing to fix his hair, he simply took off his glasses and let it fall. His bangs were long that they often peeked over his lenses which bothered him. Having been busy with training and his treatment he hadn't found the time to cut it so he let it be.
They came to a halt as usual in front of his house and Fuji turned to him like always but instead laughed a little causing Tezuka to raise his eyebrow at the sudden action. "Tezuka, you truly are a man of nature, ne?" Fuji said revealing his eyes which always caught him off guard and Fuji knew this.
He grunted in question and almost immediately he caught a whiff of cinnamon apple as Fuji moved closer and the wind picked up again sending that scent flowing throughout his senses. Soft, slender fingers ran through his hair and just as he was about to step away, those eyes closed and an amused smile rose to Fuji's lips. "You had a leaf… Sticking out of your hair." He finished with a soft chuckle and retracted his hand back to show him the red leaf in between slender fingers.
"Ah… Thank you." He said curtly finding he could've done it himself. Fuji nodded and let the leaf fly again against the wind current.
"Well," Fuji sighed, something he rarely did which sent alarms blaring throughout Tezuka's mind. "I'll see you tomorrow, Tezuka." Turning on his heel, Fuji continued towards his house. Tezuka simply stared at the retreating back in thought thinking perhaps he had said something or did something to annoy his best friend. He shook his head and went inside.
The next day, Fuji was back to usual self even going so far as to pranking Oishi which was rare from the Tensai; his usual targets being Momo and Echizen as opposed from the latter. There was only one thing that Tezuka noticed and that was that he wasn't standing as close to him as he usually did. With time Fuji began to stand closer than most but this time he had kept his distance. Tezuka dismissed this as he could talk to him casually like he always did so he paid it no mind.
Having all those memories rush back to days passed, he turned in his bed finding it hard to find sleep as the excitement of the eventful night ahead kept him up. Even though it wouldn't be until two weeks, his mind couldn't rest because he would finally see his best friend or was he still his best friend?
At this, he turned again now feeling a sense of loss. Out of all people to lose contact with, he never thought it'd be him. A longing grew in him at the sudden truth that dawned on him. Maybe they weren't as close as he deemed them to be and suddenly he realized he needed answers. But as the countless questions kept popping into his head he came to find sleep as quickly as he didn't want it.
Two weeks came and left faster than he thought. Landing back in his country after what felt like 5 years yet had only actually been a year, he took in a deep breath subtly enjoying that first step out of the airport and taking in the sight of his home country. Everything had been so different overseas and even though he came to find a few, literally only a handful of places that served amazing Japanese food, he smiled knowing there was truly no place like home.
Seeing his parents again and receiving the endless congratulations followed by the, "We always knew you could do it", made him feel all the more proud of his own accomplishments, something he hardly ever took time to actually consider just because he knew he could and should always aim for higher. That's what he planned on doing. This was just the beginning of his actual career.
After politely excusing himself from the dining table he made his way upstairs while checking the clock on the wall, inwardly calculating the time he had left to get ready for the get together. His heart pounding for many reasons but truly only for one. He didn't understand why it was as erratic as usual so he decided to workout simply to let out the extra energy.
With years of traveling and years of events under his belt Tezuka knew the simple and most basic ways of dressing but tonight as he stared at his suitcase which was as organized as it should be, he found himself at a standstill. For once he found himself wanting to look good for what should've been for no reason but yet the desire to do so just egged him on. Shaking his head at the ridiculousness of his own actions, he worked quickly to put on a casual outfit of black jeans, black shirt and a white button down over it. He knew it wouldn't matter how he dressed since it was his friends he'd be seeing.
Sighing, he took in a deep breath, his heart quickening for reasons he couldn't explain. His hands felt clammy and he almost laughed at it. It was truly absurd to think that seeing his friends after eight years would trigger this unwanted feeling of nervousness since he hadn't even experienced it once in front of the rows of cameras and microphones but yet here he was.
Tezuka slid the door open and immediately was bombarded with the confetti he had been inwardly expecting. A rare smile crossed his lips as he received congratulations from every single one of his old teammates.
Eiji hadn't changed in the least as he had wrapped his arms around his shoulders shouting at the same energetic level he knew. Kawamura made his way over from behind the counter and patted him on the shoulder with that kind and timid smile like always; finding that he was now a full fledged itamae he couldn't help but be prouder of the person who had found his own dream. Inui loomed over him as he grew a bit taller than he remembered with a smile which had always seemed dark to Tezuka and came to learn that once terrifying data player had become a food chemist. Somewhere in the back of his mind he questioned whoever had allowed him in such a job but nevertheless was happy for him. Everyone had both grown individually and matured into fine adults, even the loud pair which bickered less from their Seigaku days, Momoshiro and Kaidoh both smiled at him with a loud congrats, still boisterous as ever and stared at each other before accepting one's presence. Truly everyone had grown and even though Echizen hadn't been able to make it for obvious reasons since he too had followed the professional career, he was proud of every single one of them.
"Fuji is running a little late." Oishi mentioned with an apologetic smile and he simply nodded.
Eiji came up from behind him with a big smile, arm around his boyfriend which came as a big shock because he didn't think he'd ever witness it between his own friends. He'd seen homosexuality overseas, countless times in fact, and he accepted it since it wasn't his own lifestyle but rather someone else's so he couldn't find a reason to decline another's. "Probably coming back from his ex's place. They broke up a while ago but it seems they still have stuff to sort out. That's why you can't share." Eiji said in a melodic tune. Oishi quickly turned around and yelled at the red head quickly apologizing for his actions.
Tezuka had stopped hearing after the word ex but only nodded after seeing that same apologetic smile on his friends face and continued to sip his tea. Fuji with someone… something about it had made him feel sick and suddenly drinking his tea didn't feel like it was worth it. His heart ached at the words and there was a strange feeling lingering in his stomach. He didn't understand it until he came to one conclusion. He didn't know this Fuji, this new person that had changed with time in between and that was probably what had made him feel anxious, lost and even nervous. They were best friends or had been yet he never knew anything about Fuji being in a relationship. He knew it wasn't in his place to ask nor was it like him to be interested to begin with but the new revelation stood still in his mind. Feeling highly uneasy at the whole situation with Fuji and whoever, he distracted himself with the loud chatter surrounding him.
He didn't know how long it had been but deciding that maybe he needed a bit of fresh air, he stepped out. Escaping both the scent and the many attempts on getting their former captain to drink sake, he took a chance to duck out and closed his eyes resting against the wall. Coming back had made him miss everything. What was and what could've been if he would've stayed but he knew his path was one he had wanted to take. Here, he wouldn't have gone as far as he did in Germany. In a way it was amazing how time could change virtually everything about the people he used to know so well. Seeing the many changes and even the same antics… time was truly something else.
"Tezuka?" So lost in his thoughts he was that he nearly jumped at the soft voice that came from in front of him. Opening his eyes, his heart dropped and suddenly it became hard to breathe. There standing a few steps away was Fuji as ethereal as he always seemed whenever he was on the court except the aura practically seeped off of him. His features had matured and time had made all those effeminate features prominent along with his masculinity, erasing almost all traces of the boy he once knew. Instead the features he had always considered to be foreign made him seem more surreal than he used to be. He was beautiful just like he remembered. Perhaps even more astounding and breathtaking.
"Fuji." He simply greeted and said nothing else hoping his heart would relax as he stared at the man in front of him. Many questions rushed to his mind but he was unable to concentrate on just one. He tried to bring his rationality back to track. He searched for reasons as to why the fact that Fuji standing in front of him made him feel nervous, out of breath and only came to the conclusion that time had done it's fair share with their overall comfortability.
Fuji stepped closer, "Saa… It's been a long time." He chuckled like he used to. His voice even more melodic yet a tad rougher making his skin crawl. "You look good."
"So do you." Those eyes peered at him and they had been as astonishing as he always remembered them to be. Fuji stood a bit closer and tried to peek inside but instead leaned against the wall beside him.
"Are they drinking again?" Fuji asked light-heartedly. Tezuka nodded and looked at the street in front of them trying to work out his mind. "You're not drunk are you, Tezuka?" Fuji whispered moving a little closer and Tezuka stood his ground. That cinnamon Apple scent washing over him like it had that night so many years ago.
"No." He managed to say and turned to face Fuji only belatedly realizing how close they were and he turned back. "How have you been?" He asked after a pregnant pause taking in what Fuji was wearing. Grey jeans that hugged slim legs along with a blue button down shirt that didn't seem to have anything underneath along with blue slip on sneakers that went with his shirt.
Fuji shifted to his side, looking at him from where he was, "Good," He simply said and Tezuka thought there was more to it. "Life's been treating me well." Before he could question what he was doing now Fuji continued, "Fashion designer. But, I'm trying to go into fashion photography."
"I thought you didn't like being stuck inside a studio?" Tezuka asked suddenly understanding Fuji's eclectic style. It only made sense that he was good at it if it was what he did as a profession. But even then he racked his mind as it slowly calmed down remembering that Fuji had always had a knack for fashion. He used to think it was because of his sister.
Fuji chuckled and Tezuka softly smiled at it, "You know me too well Tezuka," He averted his eyes to the ground, "But it takes time plus I wanted the experience."
Tezuka nodded, understanding. Even though he hadn't gotten to where he was, he knew he would get there because it was Fuji. If it was somewhere where he wanted to be then he'd actually strive to excel in whatever that was and right now, in fact for some time, had been photography so he understood full well but even then… "Why didn't you continue tennis?" He knew Fuji could've gone pro had he actually gone towards it. That match still resonated in him and even with his fame he still couldn't find an opponent worthy to call a rival besides the man next to him.
Fuji turned to him, a soft smile spreading across his pink lips and Tezuka couldn't help but look at them. "You know how much photography means to me." Tezuka looked away. He knew it meant a lot to him. Heck, Fuji had taught him once how to develop film and even if he couldn't do it, he could see the passion behind those pools of blue as he did so.
"I don't think I'll ever find someone worthy to be called my rival." Tezuka found himself saying honestly. He turned to look at Fuji with a smile on his face and Fuji stared at him bewildered before chuckling.
"What're you talking about? Besides you're in the pro world, that's amazing. You always exceed expectations. But you know there's still Wimbledon and the US Open." Fuji said with a big smile. Tezuka couldn't help but chuckle and he felt his heart skip a beat.
He really did miss this. These trivial talks with his best friend and then it had dawned on him. They were casually talking as if time hadn't passed, as if they hadn't grown apart and even though they had gained that atmosphere of closeness, Fuji was still a good distance away from what he remembered. He frowned and began, "Fuji," At this, Fuji turned to him with a slight tilt to his head and Tezuka smiled at the action that hadn't changed since. "Why did you stop writing?" He asked cautiously.
Fuji hid behind his smile and Tezuka regretted asking, inwardly sighing he was about to tell him to forget it but Fuji started, "Tezuka, do you remember that day after the Nationals, when we walked home together?" Fuji asked quietly looking at the ground in what Tezuka deemed very uncharacteristic. He nodded prompting the other to continue, eager to know what had caused them to slip from each other's lives, why it had all come to a standstill. As much as he told himself that it was because of school or in this case work, he knew that had never deterred them because when he was in Kyushu and even the short time in Germany, they had been close despite their distance. "Truth is," Fuji paused turning to look at him. "Tezuka I-"
"Buchou! This is where you've been hiding! Ah Fuji-senpai~" Momoshiro burst out along with Eiji who lunged forward like always towards Fuji. Both ultimately drunk.
Fuji chuckled and patted Eiji on the arm who had a large smile on his face, his cheeks the same color as his hair. "Fujiko~ Oishi said he'd drink with me but he's not touching the drink Inui made him." At this Momoshiro laughed jokingly saying that it was because Inui made it. Tezuka agreed but hadn't voiced it because he couldn't even begin to imagine drinking anymore of that nonsense they had back in their Seigaku days.
Both Momoshiro and Eiji walked back in, leaving the door open for them. Tezuka gave him one last look before Fuji beckoned him and smiled, "Wanna have a drink with me, Tezuka?"
He stared at him for a while not at all wanting to drink as he came out to escape it but it was Fuji asking. Plus he still hadn't heard what had caused their falling out and he still wanted answers. He knew once Fuji decided to keep things to himself it was almost impossible to have it come back to the surface. "I'll accompany you but maybe, I'll stay clear of the sake tonight." Fuji hummed and headed inside before Tezuka could follow him.
The night had been full of laughter and a slew of drinking games which to much of his success had ended without him touching a single cup of sake. Even though he was back home he was adamant on keeping his body in shape for any if not all the upcoming matches his manager was most likely going to enter him for. By doing that, he chose to stay clear from sake. Throughout the night, he had rekindled what he figured was his lost friendship with the former Tensai but there were still some things that seemed out of character from Fuji, yet he didn't question them.
Everyone was mostly on their way out and Tezuka had gone to the bathroom only to bump into Eiji swaying back and forth. Tezuka came over to hold him steady. "Do you want me to get Oishi?" He asked worried. Truthfully, he felt unfit to be the one taking care of someone else's boyfriend and he was most certain that his boyfriend, if he hadn't changed in the past years and he hadn't, would want to take care of his partner. The whole thing still sat very odd with him but thinking on it, Oishi and Kikumaru had always had a close relationship so it seemed like it was inevitable.
Eiji grabbed Tezuka's arm just as he had finished washing his hands and looked him in the eyes half lidded. "No I'll be fine. Ah Tezuka I'm sorry!" Eiji whined a little louder than Tezuka had expected and looked at his shirt which was completely wet from the front. He shook his head not giving it much thought and helped Eiji out of the bathroom. "I'm glad you're back Tezuka~ congrats!"
Oishi peeled the redhead off Tezuka's body and apologized yet again for his partner's actions and Tezuka couldn't help but chuckle at them together. They really fit well together. "Tezuka, you look like you wet yourself." He heard and glared at Fuji earning him a chuckle from the fashion designer. "Saa, Taka-san thank you for tonight." Fuji said walking towards the door with Tezuka.
"Of course, I'm honestly surprised you came. Tezuka, seriously congrats. It was great seeing you again." Kawamura said with that same smile that had just matured a bit from the last time he saw him. Tezuka nodded and thanked him before leaving.
The night had been in many ways eventful and even though it was early summer, the slight breeze caused him to shiver realizing his shirt was still wet. They fell into the same step they had cultivated all those years ago and in the same silence that brought a calmness to his heart back then and now. There were still so many things he wanted to know about Fuji, so many things he'd been missing in just eight years. Suddenly those years that seemed short felt like an eternity and he couldn't stop his unusual bout of curiosity. He knew these things took time but it felt as if their time was short.
They kept their usual pace until Fuji stopped and he turned around, "Fuji?"
Fuji smiled and Tezuka looked at him in question. "I don't live over there anymore."
Tezuka took a few steps towards him deciding, "Then I'll walk you home." Just like old times. The last part was left unvoiced and Fuji looked into his eyes momentarily before nodding and continuing on a different route.
It was strange taking this step forward. Tezuka knew everyone had changed and perhaps it was more evident with the time he hadn't spoken to them. Not even just that but he couldn't properly recall a time he had an actual conversation with the others like he had with Oishi, Inui and most definitely Fuji. But that didn't seem like a big factor until he was walking to Fuji's apartment, away from the home he hadn't ever known, a space that was new, foreign and fully everything of what was Fuji Syuusuke.
Walking into the space that smelled like that intoxicating cinnamon Apple and spices, Tezuka didn't really look around because his gaze fell to the couch where he found a bag filled with what seemed like someone else's clothes. Fuji didn't seem to pick up his interest for he had disappeared.
The conversation that he had engaged in with Oishi and Eiji coming full blast."Probably coming back from his ex's place." Then it dawned to him that he truly didn't know much about Fuji aside from what he already knew and what he had recently gained.
"It's not much but it's home." Fuji's voice was distant and off. Only then did Tezuka realize something must have happened at home for him to move, to have that look of loss even if it was for an instant. He chose not to press the matter forward and shook his head. "The bathroom is down the hall. If you want you could take a shower or would you prefer just drying your shirt?" Fuji asked looking into his eyes. Tezuka stared at them. Their usually shielded mask gone and a more prominent blue pierced through him like it always had but something about that gaze held an emotion that stirred him in a way he couldn't describe.
"Drying it is fine." Tezuka replied looking down not at all noticing how wet it had been. He idly thought of using one of Fuji's shirts but he was more wider and broader than Fuji was and over the course of those eight years he had actually grown taller than he had back then. Fuji however was still a little shorter than him but not as he used to be.
Fuji smiled, "Did Eiji mistake you for Oishi?" Tezuka glared at him before heading towards the bathroom.
Most of what he expected from the former Tensai, had been all but more accurate. He did find two toothbrushes and just the idea of invading someone else's space made him want to leave. He knew he was being irrational and if it was one thing Tezuka wasn't, it was irrational.
Fuji had placed a hair dryer on the counter perhaps already knowing he would opt with the least troublesome of the two options. Fuji hadn't changed. He smiled behind the closed door and the drowning sound of the hair dryer.
Thinking on how their relationship would be had it not been for the time spent apart, he thought of the familiarity that drifted between them earlier and how much more amplified it could have been. Somewhere Tezuka believed it was better this way but…
Turning off the hair dryer, he sighed at the moisture that was still in place. It was times like these where he appreciated Fuji's company because he understood the simplest of courtesies. Giving him privacy, understanding which was better for him and not the other way around. It was small but it made him miss it all the more.
Just as he opened the door he heard a thud and halted for a second before he heard Fuji talking with someone.
"Take your stuff and leave."
Tezuka froze. It had been the first time he had heard that usually soft melodic voice so tense and harsh. It didn't compare to anything he remembered him to be.
"Leave? This is my house as much as it is yours." The other man said. Man… Tezuka thought on who would have spoken to Fuji in the manner they were when his mind only picked up two things. The bag on the couch and what Kikumaru had said earlier.
He heard Fuji chuckle, "That privilege died a long time ago." Tezuka heard them discuss for a bit longer with no way of giving them privacy before he heard what he probably shouldn't have.
"Heard he came back. It's hard to keep who you like under the radar you know that Fuji. You should see the way you look at him." Tezuka's interest piqued.
There was silence before Fuji spoke, "You need to leave." He could tell Fuji was upset. He picked up a slight tremble in his voice and furrowed his eyebrows. Fuji… Nervous? There were so many things he didn't seem to know about someone he used to know so well and just that thought made him feel so empty. With what and for why? He wasn't sure.
He heard the floorboard creak before he heard the man speaking with Fuji scoff and the apartment door was slammed shut. Tezuka stood quiet for a while longer before deciding to close the bathroom door.
Stepping out, he patted his shirt, "Still wet?" Fuji asked with his usual smile. Tezuka glanced at him before looking at his shirt and nodded. "Hm, I might have a shirt that could fit you." Fuji said thoughtfully touching the now wrinkly part of the shirt. "Take it off. I'll look for one." Tezuka felt a little lost for words. After what had happened…. He had wanted to comfort Fuji but didn't know how so instead, did as he was told.
"It's okay. This would do." Tezuka managed to say after slipping his white button down on leaving it open.
Tezuka could tell there was something bothering Fuji and not just because he had obviously heard but he just felt it like he could feel the sun on his skin. Fuji could too so after placing his shirt to dry in the bathroom, he sighed. "I'm sorry." For what happened.
Tezuka furrowed his eyebrows not at all understanding why he was apologizing when he was intruding. "Don't be." I understand Fuji turned to him. An expression that he didn't know passed by cerulean eyes and he couldn't help but stare back. He was so confused with everything and if he knew one thing for certain it was that the Fuji he knew of eight years ago had certainly changed. That day after the Nationals came crashing into his head and he looked away, noticing the bag on his couch was missing. "It's not strange." You're not strange He said softly and the tension in the room grew with his own uncertainty. "I didn't want to be here tonight but, if I had a chance to see you one last time then… I'm glad I came." He found himself unable to stop the words that left his lips finding a truth so deep with his own voice, he tried to make sense of what he said.
It was true. He had felt nothing when it happened but over time he came to find something missing and that missing something was Fuji. They were close, they confided in each other and they understood each other better than anyone else but he only realized it just a few seconds ago when that man decided to treat him in a way that Tezuka deemed unnecessary.
Fuji stood still, his eyes widened before giving him a genuine smile, "Then I'm glad you came." Tezuka nodded, finding it hard to look at Fuji not understanding but knowing what it was that he felt in his chest. It was want but… it had never been his until just now.
Opting for the better action, Tezuka walked over to the door but his curiosity piqued once more. Fuji leaned against the wall, so in thought perhaps for what had happened and what was said. Figuring out what it meant and contemplating what to say but chose silence instead. He figured maybe it was better not to know so he decided to leave it as such. "Good night Fuji."
He turned to look at back at him, not moving from his position and he ran through everything he knew and wished it was true. His voice rang loud in his ears. Just his name was enough understand everything from what he was trying to articulate and even though it was all so confusing, at that point everything made sense. He didn't know how long but at that very moment, it didn't seem to matter because…
Leaning against the wall, half lidded eyes stared up at him in nothing but pure longing. Tezuka leaned forward to embrace him. Those arms wrapped around his neck and he felt Fuji's heart beat against his chest. He smiled enjoying the feeling, wanting nothing more. He pulled away and Fuji looked up at him again, Fuji's hand cupped his cheek and genuinely smiled before pulling him forward. Fingers ran through his hair and he closed his eyes at the sensation. His heart pounding in his ears at their proximity, just a breath away from their lips touching.
He opened his eyes and looked into contemplative if not, worried cerulean eyes. He knew why and he didn't want it to be there. Tezuka tightened his hold around Fuji's waist and slowly placed his lips on Fuji's.
The fingers at the back of his head lightly tugged and pulled as he briefly pulled away to tilt his head and kiss him again. It was a feeling unlike any other and Tezuka wanted to savor it, keep it, hold it and protect it. Fuji tilted his head back a little and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Fuji softly moaned against his lips and his arms pulled him against his body. He let it happen as his own arms tightened around his waist. "It's always been you Fuji." He whispered as he pulled away to place gentle kisses down his neck.
Fuji softly gasped, taking another handful of ruffled hair that hadn't changed in all those years. Unable to respond as his senses were being taken over by the kisses Tezuka was leaving on his neck, he closed his eyes not at all wanting to believe any of it was real. He had spent all those years running from his feelings of loving Tezuka because he was scared of losing his friend and most of all the person he loved. His heart had ached the day he left but he supported him until he couldn't any more.
Tezuka pulled away to look into cerulean eyes, a small smile formed on his lips and he leaned again to kiss him. He didn't know much about a relationship between two men but he knew it couldn't be all that different from women. His heart ached and wanted nothing more than to want this feeling to last. No matter how long.
Fuji parted his lips and Tezuka felt his tongue swipe over his bottom lip before understanding and kissing him again, his tongue tentatively wandered into Fuji's mouth and he couldn't help but groan. The action causing Fuji to take in a deep breath and pulled away. Tezuka couldn't help his own desires and his heart felt like it was ready to pop out of his chest. "Kunimitsu." Fuji whispered making him tighten his arms around his waist and held him closer. Fuji buried his face into the crook of neck. Both of them not realizing that they had held their feelings at bay from each other for way too long.
Hearts beating against each other's chest, Tezuka could feel Fuji's hand slide down to his chest stopping short just by his heart and he tightened his hold on him. Fingers nimbly moved down his chest and he couldn't think of anything other than how they caressed his skin until they slid around his waist.
Tezuka held him as he worked out what everything meant, what he felt and what would happen. He couldn't believe that just a few days ago he hadn't known what this feeling was. Keeping the moment for however long; soft breaths tickled his neck and the scent that littered the apartment drifted through his senses a tenfold. The idea of Fuji being with him in the way he had seen others overseas, so close like Oishi and Eiji passed his mind and he never knew what it was to want someone as much as he wanted anything else.
Everything he had come know about Fuji had been surreal and if the time apart hadn't told him enough then whatever turmoil he'd gone through two weeks ago was a perfect indication that he couldn't seem to not think about Fuji. Having the chance to see him again had sent him over the edge and he didn't want to lose sight of it again… of him again.
What broke his reverie were the fingers that lightly played with his hair and he thought he wouldn't mind feeling it over and over again. But as the thought kept playing in his head he knew they were both thinking the same thing.
How could they make it work?
"Fuji." Tezuka started and lost his words once Fuji's hand was lightly placed on his chest. Understanding what he meant by it, he continued to revel at their proximity realizing that Fuji was actually very slim and warm to the touch. He wasn't sure how to convey to him that he truly wanted this to work somehow. He wasn't sure how to voice it and he knew it didn't matter but it suddenly felt all the more amplified as he held him.
"I know," Fuji whispered against his neck. "I want this but," Tezuka understood knowing that everything had happened too fast, in fact even he was unsure what he was doing but for the first time in his life he didn't care how far he jumped because he knew it had been too long.
That night although he hadn't thought much on it after it happened he couldn't help but think how to fix what looked seemingly normal on the outside but was clearly crumbling on the inside. Maybe it was age or maybe it was just like how his other friends back in Germany said, he was oblivious. At the time it wasn't surprising, he was a kid and even though he was called mature and rational he was still young to understand a few things. But now, thinking on how much he had figured out about himself in the short span of a few weeks, he wanted it.
Tezuka removed his hand from Fuji's waist and slipped it into the one that lay on his own waist. Pulling it away he held it. It wasn't enough but it was enough to confirm because Fuji held him tighter. "I'm sorry." For that night and for a lot of things. But Fuji shook his head and pulled away to look back with a smile that made him reciprocate. He placed his lips on Fuji's thinking he'd never get enough, the hand in his tightened it's grasp and he smiled against the kiss.
He couldn't believe someone who he had known for so long, someone who had lost touch from him all these years could drive these sudden rush of emotions he never touched on himself. He didn't want any of this to go away and neither did Fuji because Fuji gave him the most wonderful smile and he just knew he'd never really truly get enough.
They'd work it out, they always did and even though sometimes it might be a little difficult he knew this time around he wouldn't lose sight of the person he never knew he had always loved.
So I apologize for many things. One, for not updating about half of my stories on here. Two, for going on multiple hiatuses and lastly for posting this long random story xD
I find music to be one of the most influential keys for me when it comes to writing so this, like many of my recent ones was inspired by a song that at first didn't really mean much to me but after listening to it over and over I thought of just one thing and this happened. Quite honestly I shouldn't be diverging from this project I have going on with a few buddies but I just couldn't help it! T_T
Let me know what you guys think. I was pretty confident writing this and I really tried to get that feeling of unrequited reunion (?) between these two. Hope you liked it!