'S...sir?' Voldemort glared down, evil and superior. 'What?!' 'An... an owl just delivered th... this, sir...' Wormtail stuttered and showed a piece of parchment. 'I see. So!?' 'It... it's from Du... Dum... Dum...' 'What?! Dumdum? Who the hell is Dumdum?!' Voldemort spat. 'Dumbledore!' 'Oh, so now you've got a petname for Dumbledore?' The Dark Lord laughed diabolically.

'N... no sir!!' Wormtail was on the edge of bursting into tears. 'I was being evil and sarcastic, you twit!' 'Oh... well... an... anyway... Wouldn't you... like to... y'know... re... read it?' Lord Voldemort rolled his eyes. 'Oh alright. Let's see then.' He snatched the parchment out of Wormtail's hand, making him wince, and started reading it out loud.

'"Dear Mr Voldiepants.." VOLDIEPANTS?!!!' Wormtail immediately cowered. '"This is a list of questions. W'd like you to fill this in and sent it back as soon as possible." Ooookay...' Voldemort looked sceptically. 'Why should I?!' 'Be... because you've got... no... nothing b... better to do, sir?' Wormtail said. 'Ah, yes. I guess you're right.'

Full Name: Tom Marv- I mean... The evil Lord Voldemort! Muahahahaha- *chokes and starts coughing* Next.. *cough* question... *wheeze*

Age: Immortal!! Mwhaha!

Height: Who cares?! I'm the Dark Lord!

Hair colour: ...You bitch! Just wait, I'll have my revenge for this one!!

Eyes: Red and REALLY evil *wicked grin*

Birthplace: Havermouth

Current residence: Do you really I'll just go and tell everyone about my very secret location? I'd be daft if I- *gets shocked* Hey!! *gets shocked again* Stop that! I'm the Dark Lord!! *gets shocked once again* Oh alright, I'm... somewhere in a very secret underground lair. *pinky to the mouth*

Favourite place lived: Oh, basically everywhere, that doesn't matter much to me, as long as I get to kill people. Preferably Muggles.

Do you have any piercings, if so, where: No, I've just got my damn body back!

Do you have any tatoo's, if so, where: Does 'tatoo placing' counts? If not, no.

Do you have any pets: Sure, some owls, some evil dangerous creatures, and the list goes on and on

Ever been in love: *quickly* No. *gets shocked* Argh! So alright, I was!!

**Bad habit**: Killing people...?

Are you addicted to anything, if so, what: See previous question

**Favourite word**: Mudbloooood!!

Favourite day of the week: The day I get to kill people. Which can be any random day of the week.

Favourite non-alcoholic drink: Unicorn blood. May sound gross, but it's greaaat!

**Favourite 'naughty' word**: Monkeyballs

**Favourite part of the body**: Everything about me is evil and awesome

Favourite movie: Ugh, that's a Muggle thing right? Well... when I was younger I once watched a Christmas Carol and it was pretty cool. But only the first 20 minutes, after those Scrooge gets all sappy.

Favourite TV-show: I'm a full time evil Dark Lord, no time for that, and, it's a MUGGLE thing!

Favourite song: Sympathy For the Devil, Rolling Stones. My new pick up line now is, Pleased to meet you, can you guess my name?

Favourite holiday: I need to create a new Holiday, like Easter... Except the egg eating will be replaced by Muggle killing.

Favourite food: Don't care, as long as it's fancy and evil.

Favourite sport: Muggle hunting

Stupidest thing you ever did: Letting Lucius have that last Chocolate Frog, it was MINE, ALL MINE!!!!

Stupidest thing you ever did (in public): Letting that Potter boy get away so many times, very embarrassing

**Silliest job you ever had**: Part time Dark Lord didn't suit me. Full time Dark Lord is perfect, though.

**Silliest word**: Seal. I mean... what the hell?!

What colour socks are you wearing right now: Evil doesn't wear socks, you cunt!

What colour underwear are you wearing right now: I'm the bloody Dark Lord! I don't need that!

Most annoying thing is: Harry Potter. Damn him. DAMN HIM!!

~Now for the questions everyone wants to know!~

Are you a virgin: Uhm, no.

Ever had sex: ... You asked this alre- *gets shocked* Damn it!! Yes!

Are you gay: As far as I know, no.

Are you attracted to the same sex: ...Same question aga- *gets shocked* Don't think so!!

Do you have any kinky fantasies, if so, what: Not really, I'm Lord Voldemort, if I want to have sex with someone, I'll just RAPE!

Last question, do you think Azkaban is a kinky place: I've heard certain things...

Thank you for your time.

Couldn't find a quote... Oh, enough with the lies, I was too lazy to find one. Sorry?

~~ Sorry it took so long, but well... I'm a lazy bitch!
Next chapter: Ron!~~