Tales of Tikitaki

Hello it is I the great Pokegirl.Most of you folks in the AC fic section don't know me but I'm a crazy freak that likes to laugh.I'm mostly known for my Zelda stories but only few know how I'm OBESSED with AC!!!!So here is my first AC fic!!!Please review and enjoy!!!WAHA HA HA HA HA(cough) ha.....


(Melissa was ready to start a new adventure into the world of wonder..okay she was just irritated by her dads smelly socks but anyways....here is her adventure to the town of TIKITAKI!!!)

(It's 10:00AM and Melissa sits on a train anticipating what is ahead.)


Porter:Please don't beat me....


Porter:I'm sorry but we are waiting for someone to finish emptying his coffee thermos outside.He packed 20 gallons....Oh there he is OKAY we can get going.

Melissa:What kind of idiot dumps 20 gallons of coffee on a train track.He could easily emptyed it during Bill Clintons press confrence.

Bill Clinton:(had started to enter the room but turns around and knocks himself out on the door)

Rover:Hey,can I sit here the parametics took my seat.


Rover:So what's your name?

Melissa:(notices that he has a giant thermos around his neck)HEY!!!YOU'RE THAT COFFEE DUDE!!!!!

Rover:(twinches hyperactively)H-how did you g-guess I was obessed with coffee?

Melissa:(pretends to not have seen what she just saw.)

Rover:So(giggle) where are you going?


Rover:Really?I LOVE that place!!!

Melissa:I don't care.

Rover:Do you know where you're living?

Melissa:I don't ca- Oh I guess not oh well.....

Rover:I have a friend in Tikitaki that can help!!!I'll go call him!!!

Melissa:Is he obessed with grape juice?

Rover:(has already skipped off)

Melissa:I really did it now.....(put's head into hands)

Bill Clinton:Ow.(walks off holding cloth to head)

Rover:(popped up all of a sudden)OKAY!!!I did here is your stop Tom Nook will find you!No need to thank me?

Melissa:I didn't.

Rover:Ah,shucks.Your welcome.

Melissa:(runs off the train as fast as she can)

_______________________________________________________________________ (As she steps off the train Melissa takes a glance at that beautiful town that she will soon call her own-Tikitaki!)

Melissa:(walks off the train)

Porter:Could you help me?My shirt is stuck to the trains door.(train drives off dragging Porter)AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!(shredding sounds)

Melissa:This town is such a dump....

Tom Nook:HELLO!HELLO!I would be TOM NOOK!!!And you must be Melissa!

Melissa:Yes I-

Nook:(drags her to the houses eagerly)COME ON COME ON!!!!!PRECIOUS TIME TO OVER PRICE MY CUSTOMERS IS A WASTING!!!!!


Nook:You didn't hear that......


Nook:Well here we are.Choose your house carefully for it will be your home for a long-GOOD CHOICE(throws her into random house)

Melissa:(comes out of house)Whatever.A house with a tacky radio on a box.More like a closet...

Nook:I know isn't lovely!!!!I just love seeing new home owners marvel at there new houses!!!


Nook:That would be 20,000 bells.

Melissa:Here.(hands him a bananna peel)

Nook:I'm sorry but that isn't enough.

Melissa:That was the point I was playing a joke on you because you're so anoing.I can easily pay-

Nook:IT'S ALRIGHT!They call me the most generous guy in Tikitaki!So I'll let you work it off at my shop!!!!

Melissa:But I can pay-

Nook:LET'S GET GOING!!!TO NOOK'S CRANNY AWAY!!!!(drags Melissa off)

_______________________________________________________________________ (As they approach the shop and it comes into view.Melissa can't help but wonder what wonder things are available.)

Melissa:It almost looks crappier than that piece off trash you sold me.

Nook:I know isn't it WONDERFUL!!!It's my pride and joy(tear)One day it will be the biggest shop in the land and I will be famous!!!Customers will run to my feet!!(fireworks)


(The sign falls off the store)

Nook:Well come on in!!!!

(They go in.)

Nook:First you have to change into these FASIONABLE clothes that will make the most popular person in the whole town....(under breath)more like I enjoy marking my slaves he he....


Nook:Oh nothing.........

Melissa:(changes)Hey these clothes look horible.

Nook:What is that you want to buy the matching parasol?OF COURSE!!!(takes 500 bells and hansd over a tacky looking parasol)


Nook:You can show it when you deliver these tacky overpriced items to Liz!!!WOOOOO!!!Lucky you!!!Now go do it!!!Shoo Shoo!!!

Melissa:What the heck....How am I supposed too find some kind of freak in this freaky town oh well.(Walks into random house and is blinded by pink)


Melissa:(shielding eyes)AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!TOO MUCH PINK!!!!!How can you live in this thing.

Liz:Hi!!!!I'm Liz,gooch.

Melissa:(freaked out)I have a delivery from Nook for you.......

Liz:Oh lovely!!!!My new ballet slippers are here,gooch!!!!(puts them on and starts dancing stupidly)JOIN ME,GOOCH!!!

Melissa:(walks out of the house slowly backwards)

(Melissa walks inside the store where she sees Tom Nook humming while pole dancing with some kind of flag.)

Melissa:AH!!!!!!MY EYES!!!I'M BLINDED!!!!!(clutches eyes and falls over screaming)

Nook:Oh hello.

Melissa:(Starts puking into some kind of vase.)

Nook:You puke into it you buy it.(Takes 3,000 bells)


Nook:I still need to put together your next job.

Melissa:(shivers at a bad thought)


Melissa:(runs out)

Nook:(humming sounds)

Melissa:(runs away faster)


Melissa:Great now I have to meet the freaks.

A voice behind her:HELLO!!!

Melissa:(jumps up)

Voice:I'm Kody!!!And I'm really stupid and gay,funky!!!TRALA LA LA LA,funky!!!

Melissa:(fake smile)

Kody:You must be Melissa,Nook's new slave.(points to name tag that says the same thing)

Melissa:(remembers something)I would prefer employee.

Kody:Whatever!!!!!See you later,funky!!!I'm going to eat garbage in the dump,funky!!!!WEEEEEEEE!!!!!(slams into tree and falls backwards)

Melissa:Right.........(walks by random house)

Egbert:HI!!!!I'M EGBERT!!!!!


Egbert:Yep.I enjoy eating and pecking my beak into Liz's house,doodle-duh.

Liz:(Holding up a rolling pin)YOU!!!!(chases after Egbert and they run off into the distance)

Melissa:How could this get worse......


Melissa:Oh my gosh....What are you?

Lulu:I love my new shirt too,pie!

Melissa:Pie???That's the worst one yet!!!!!!

Lulu:I like to bake pie,pie!!!(Holds up a pie that has some dirty slime coming out of it and a grub crawls out of it.)

Melissa:(runs off screaming)(bumps into the wishing well)Ouch.


Melissa:I'm not a guy.

Mayor:(looking through thick glasses)You're a strapping young lad.

Melissa:That's it!(kicks the mayor into the wishing well)


Wishing Well:Falling into thou is just foolessness.

Melissa(Runs back to Nook's)

Nook:It's ABOUT TIME!!!!


Nook:Now I need you to write a letter to Lulu!I'll supply the paper but you'll have to pay for it!!!(takes 500 bells and hands over a crappy piece of paper)

Melissa:Stupid raccoon!!!!(Starts writing)

Dear Lulu,

You are a freak and you and your pies better stay away from me.

from melissa


Nook:Then GO mail it!!!!!NOW!!!!

Melissa:(goes to the post office)


Melissa:(gives her the letter)

Pelly:THANK YOU!!!(giggle)

Melissa:(runs back to Nook's)

Nook:Good.Now deliver an ax to Lulu!!!!

Melissa:Can't I just buy it instead!!!!!I don't want to see that hippo on crack!!!!

Nook:No but you're buying a shovel!!!!(takes 9,000 bells)


Nook:NOW GO!!!!!!!!

Melissa:Stupid raccoon...............(Looks at map that she unknowingly bought from Nook.)

(Melissa walks to Lulu's house and fearfully walks around the signs with black gyroids on them in her front lawn.)


Melissa:Hi.......I brought that ax you ordered....

Lulu:OH GREEEEAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!(takes it and starts madly chopping the side of her house)

Melissa:(runs away fearfully almost tripping over a sign)

(back at Nooks)

Nook:(on the phone)*Yes darling I'm going to cheat the next customer who walks in here out of 8 thousand bells!!!(blah blah)*

Melissa:(panicking)Meep!!!KODY COME HERE A SECOND!!!!


Melissa:(locks Kody into the store and waits outside)

Kody:(walks out with a jar grining)GUESS WHAT!!!!Nook gave me this magic pickle jar for the bargain price of 8 thousand bells!!!(skips away in joy untill he crashes into a tree smashing the pickle jar.)

Melissa:All righty.........(walks back into the store)

Nook:Oh there you are!!!Now for your FINAL task I want you to post an ad for my store on the message board.

Melissa:(okay,writes mysterous message and then walks back)

Nook:HEY!!!Why are you walking so mysterously!!!!


Nook:Whatever........Well that was your final task!!!Now you have to pay off the rest of you house debt so I can make it bigger and charge you MORE!!!!!So-(Melissa has already ran and left behind her uniform-wearing her old clothes you pervs!!!-)


(Free of her tasks Melissa calmly walks out of the store and finds a new best friend for life.)

Melissa:I'M FREE!!!!!!!A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!



Egbert:Can I follow you around like we're best friends?



(They walk to the post office where Melissa pays off her first debt and then they walk to the dump.)

Egbert:In Tikitaki the dump is like a gold mine.I don't care about it as long as I have food,doodle-duh.For newcomers it can be your best resource,doodle-duh.

Melissa:Whatever.It just looks like crap....

Kody:(gnawing a chairleg in the dump's corner)Funky(chomp)Funky(chomp)-

Melissa:(takes a step back)

Egbert:That's how he grieves over lifes little faults,doodle-duh.

Melissa:Let's raid this place and leave.

Egbert:Look a regal bed!!!But Kody seems to have gnawed on it's right leg,doodle-duh.

Melissa:It will have to do.(puts bed into pocket)O.O How did I do that?!?!


Melissa:What do you freaks do for fun around here!

Egbert:Well we like to destroy property,doodle-duh!

Melissa:I would of never guessed............

Egbert:(slams his beak into Lulu's house a couple of times)


Egbert:(grins as much as you can with a beak)

(Liz's house starts cracking on the side more than it was in the spot that Egbert hit.)

Egbert:By the end of the year it will be demolished doodle-duh.Liz has to have her house rebuilt every year,doodle-duh!

(They walk to the message board for no apparent reason.)

(Liz is reading something on the message board giggling and blushing.)

Egbert:Look,doodle-duh!!!!It's about Nook,doodle-duh!!!


Melissa:(laughs evily at her "ad".)

Nook:(comes walking down the road)Hello,Just thought I would go for a stroll!!!What's that you're reading?

Melissa:(drags Egbert into her house and locks the door)

(in the house)

Nook:MELISSA!!!(bangs on her door in rage)

Melissa:We might as well do some interior designing,we'll be here for awhile.


Melissa:Let's start I got some cool stuff at the dump to dress this closet up!!!


Kody:(knocking at window)Let me in!!!!I need to get rid of my lonely spells!!!

Egbert:What's that,doodle-duh!!!

Melissa:Nothing!!!(turns up K.K. Funk really load)

Nook:(bangs door in the beat of the music)


That's the end of Chapter one Review please!!!!I'll have the next one up soon!!!!!^_^