AN: Hello! I wrote this story several years ago and took it offline when I was feeling shy, but decided to share it again. I went through a phase when I was obsessed with Jasper. :) In this version of my Jasper and Bella story, Jasper is a single man. He and Alice are companions, but not mates or married. Thanks for reading!
"You are worth it."
When Bella left the room, Alice gave me a look.
"What?" I asked, in true innocence. "Did I say something wrong?"
Alice shook her head, a small smile on her face. "No, it's true. Bella is worth it. I'm just surprised to hear it from you."
I kept my distance from Bella during those summer months. It wasn't because of my struggle being around humans, although, that is the explanation Edward gave her.
I couldn't be near her because I loved her.
Bella didn't love me in return, she loved Edward. Her emotions for him were strong. He made her feel cherished and protected, safe. Her happiness was all that mattered to me. If being with Edward made her happy, I could not object. She would never love me the way she loved him.
It was a hopeless case.
I collapsed in the forest, trying to calm myself down from the overwhelming rage I felt towards my brother. I also felt betrayed by the rest of the family who would not see the truth.
At her birthday party, Edward was half a second from attacking Bella before I intervened. Everyone assumed that I was the one with the blood lust, but it wasn't me. It was Edward. Despite his love for Bella, he could not resist his singer. The monster overcame the man.
With the possibility of Bella being so close to danger, something within me snapped. I was too angry to communicate the reason for my actions, and my brother and sisters forced me out of the house. It was probably for the best. I would have attacked Edward.
Emmett and Rosalie stood in the distance, like bodyguards, waiting to see what my response would be. Alice skipped directly to me, sitting cross legged on the ground. My face was in my hands and I refused to look at her.
"You did the right thing," she assured me. "You saved Bella's life."
Edward told us he was ending his relationship with Bella. He wanted us to all leave Forks, to make it better on her, to allow her to have a clean break.
I was shocked. Edward was truly ashamed at his actions. Although he didn't acknowledge it to the others, between him, Alice and myself, we knew the truth. Despite his infatuation with Bella, he could not trust himself to be around her. When Emmett suggested Edward change her into a vampire, so that they could be together without obstacles, he refused. My brother was stubborn. He was afraid. He couldn't doubt Bella's love for him, so I could only assume he doubted his love for her.
Edward and the family left Forks. I gave an excuse of going to visit Peter and Charlotte and Alice winked at me because she knew exactly what I had decided to do.
A week had passed since I had seen her. Too much time, but I felt slightly embarrassed for being so vulnerable and made excuses for myself. She wouldn't want to see me, she would be angry with me for trying to attack her, although that wasn't the truth. I was in physical pain being separated from her. Vampires did not feel pain, unless they were in battle. Perhaps I was in a battle dealing my feelings for Bella. I could not conquer it and my decision was made.
I was returning to Forks to check on Bella.
It was not long after midnight when I arrived in Forks. I stopped walking when I felt the emotions radiating from Bella's house. It almost brought me to my knees. The slow rhythm of the beat of her heart told me she was asleep, but even so, I could feel her heartbreak. Pain, misery, loss. I had never encountered a human with such depth of emotion.
Climbing into her bedroom, through the open window, I could see Bella lying in her bed in a fetal position. She opened her eyes, immediately aware of my presence.
"Jasper?" she whispered, her voice raspy. She wasn't afraid of me, but I felt no other emotion than sadness.
I nodded. I could not bear to see her in such pain. Using all my influence, I tried to manipulate her emotions, but it did not affect her at all. I felt helpless.
Instinctively, I joined Bella on the bed, pulling her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her. She did not resist. How could I ease her pain? For a moment I was angry – angry at Edward for leaving her in this condition. She did not need a "clean break." The family should have stayed to comfort her, lessen the devastation of Edward's decision.
My whole human life I had been taught to protect women, but what I felt for Bella was more than that. With Bella's body pressed against mine, I was overcome with my love for her. I loved her, I loved her, I loved her. There was no one else I wanted. She was my everything. How could I ease her pain? How could I show her how much I loved her?
Bella looked up at me in surprise. Had she sensed my emotions? Staring into one another's eyes, the electricity between us was almost tangible. Bella's breathing increased, as did mine. I traced her jaw with my finger.
"Stop being so sad. If you continue like this, I'll be forced to make love to you," I whispered.
Surprised flashed again on Bella's face. She wasn't offended at my boldness, but seemed to be considering my words. She put her hand on my cheek. I leaned down to kiss her and she pulled me closer.
Rational thinking was gone, as soon as Bella's lips touched mine. I wasn't concerned with bloodlust, I was overcome with physical lust for her. I ravished her with kisses and I felt Bella's sadness dissipate and her heart open to me. I loved her and I wanted to make love with her.
As a human, I had my share of conquests. As a vampire, Maria and I had a physical relationship, but it was animalistic, no emotions involved. I had never made love with anyone. I had never been in love. Until I met Bella.
Between fervent kisses, we undressed one another. Bella laid back on the bed, and I covered her body with my own. I kissed her deeply, then looked into her eyes. Despite the fact that I wasn't thinking of the consequence of my actions, I didn't want to force Bella to do something she didn't want to do. Without me having to say anything, she seemed to know what I was thinking and nodded her head. The sadness she felt minutes before had entirely disappeared and she welcomed my comfort eagerly.
I covered her mouth with my hand as I entered her and she moaned in pain. It was a honor to take Bella Swan's virginity. I wish I could have given her the same precious gift. I flooded Bella's emotions with pleasure and her eyes rolled back. She attempted to scream, but I covered it with a kiss. Charlie was in the next room, still asleep. I did not want him to interrupt.
Although she wasn't experienced, Bella was an eager lover. Instinctively she seemed to know how to respond to increase the pleasure for both of us. I made love to her gently, the rhythm of my thrusts making the bed shake slightly. Bella's heart was open to me and I sent her my love, comfort and devotion. Tears streamed down her face, but it wasn't in regret. It was in relief.
When Bella shuddered in climax, I released as well. It was the perfect moment, both of us coming to ultimate pleasure at the same time. After a few seconds, I tried to roll over to the side, not wanting to crush Bella with my weight, but she held on to me. I was still inside her, but her eyes were pleading with me to stay in place. I nestled my face in the crook of her neck, and she clung to me.
Within half an hour, Bella had fallen asleep. I kissed her forehead and rolled to my back and pulled Bella to my chest, wrapping my arms around her.
"I love you," she mumbled, with a smile.
"I love you, too," I whispered in reply.
A million thoughts and possibilities flashed through my mind in that next second. I quickly dressed, then dressed Bella. Sitting on the bed, I cradled her in my arms. I brushed back her hair, placing my mouth on her bare throat.
I was doing what Edward was too afraid to do. I was making her mine. Forever.