AUTHOR: Inquisitive One

EMAIL: inquisitive1@angelfire.com

DISTRIBUTION: , fanfiction.net: inquisitive1

DISCLAIMER: I own only the ones you don't recognize.

SUMMARY: AU/Xover w/some of the characters from Roswell, Angel, and BtVS. Ian and Sara met as teenagers and are separated. Fifteen years later, they meet up again and both have secrets to tell.

AN: The character of Emma Joy is based on a mix of Liz from Roswell and Faith from BTVS/Angel. (I know both shows are in the fic. Faith won't be but Liz will be)

Once again I am onto another fic. I know I have a bunch to actually finish (and hopefully I will) but this fic is something I wanted to write because it was an interesting idea.



Journal entries




            Hearing the familiar voice Ian Nottingham looks up to see his 14-year-old daughter Emma Joy in the doorway of the study. "Hello Em. How was school?" He leans back in his chair as his beloved child walks into the room.

            "It was OK." Emma shrugs walking over to the desk she climbs onto his lap snuggling close her head on his shoulder.

            Ian frowns at her long familiar act of seeking comfort and gently strokes her dark hair. "Is something bothering you Em?" He asks as he hugs her.

            "No." Emma mumbles

            "Come on I know when you are hiding something from me."

            "Daddy where's my Mom?"

            Ian flinches at the question. 'Oh boy.' "Why do you want to know?"

            "You never talk about her." Emma lifts her head from his shoulder. "Why don't you talk about her?"

            "It's easier not too." Ian answers after a moment. "And you never really showed any interest in her." He tilts his head "What do you want to know?"

            "What was she like?"

            "Stubborn, funny, smart..." Ian trails off with a slight smile. "You are just like her... and your Aunt."

            "I have an Aunt?" Emma says surprised.

            Ian nods "They're twins."

            "How come you never told me I had an Aunt?"

            Ian is silent for a moment then answers, "The three of us had a falling out. Your Mom said she never wanted to see me again." He admits brushing her hair back. "Why are you asking about her now?"

            "I don't know." Emma moves off his lap and silently walks out of the room.

            Ian sighs 'I knew this day would come. I'm just surprised it took this long.'

            Upstairs Emma is sitting on her bed staring at the wall hugging her favored teddy bear sniffling. When she hears a knock at the door, she quickly wipes at the few tears. "Go away. I don't want to talk." She yells.

            Ian enters the bedroom. "You don't have to talk." He sits on the edge of the bed. "Em, I know you're curious about her and you have every right to be. You just caught me off guard." He reaches out stroking her cheek with his knuckle. "I try not to think about your Mom."

            "Why not?"

            "It's easier not too."

            "How did you meet her?" Emma asks curiously

            Ian smiles slightly, "I met your Mom and your Aunt when I was 16 and they were 14. Father had a meeting at the museum and I went along to see the new display. They were there on a field trip. Your Aunt dragged your Mom up to the display case and we started talking. Pretty soon the three of us were inseparable."

            "He didn't like that you were spending time with them."

            "No." Ian admits sadly. "I sometimes snuck out to meet with them. I was always punished for that." He says thoughtfully.

            "You didn't care." Emma states

            "No. They were my first real friends. They treated me like I was a normal teenager not an in training killer or servant." He finishes bitterly.

            Emma looks at him curiously. "What happened to ruin things between you and my Mom?" She looks at her hands. "Was it me?"

            Ian reaches out tilting her chin up. "What happened between your Mom and I had nothing to do with you." He says "Nothing" He says firmly

            Emma nods unconvinced. "Then what did?" She asks curiously

            Ian takes a deep breath. "Your Mom and I started spending time together without your Aunt. We never told her. I guess she found out because she told your Mom some things and the next thing I knew your Mom broke up with me."

            "She broke you two up?"

            "Somewhat. It wasn't all her fault, we should have told her the truth but we didn't. Anyway not long after we broke up he sent me to Japan."

            "Did you love her?" Emma asks after a moment.

            "Yes... I still do."

            Emma looks at her bear "Daddy why didn't she want me?"

            Hearing the pain in Emma's voice Ian winces. "Em it's not like she didn't want you... she was only 15 when you were born. She thought adoption was her best choice."

            "But I wasn't." Emma points out. "Why did you get me?"

            "Well" Ian shifts his arm going around her shoulders. "I wanted you with me. You're my blood... the only family I have." He drops a kiss to her hair.

            "I love you Daddy."

            "I love you Em."


            Ian sits on the edge of the bed watching his daughter sleep. After a few moments, he leans down kissing her forehead. Quietly he makes his way out of the bedroom heading down the stairs to his study. He sits in the leather chair before the fireplace and runs his hands over his face taking a deep breath. 'I miss you my love. Will I ever see you again?' He sits there his mind drifting back to the afternoon he first met his beloved.


            Ian looks up to find two dark-haired girls standing across from him. "Hi." He says shyly looking back at the display case.

            "Names Aras. This is my sister Sara."

            "Hi" Sara smiles at him.

            "My name is Ian." Ian smiles at them shyly then meets Sara's green eyes. 'She's beautiful.'//

            Ian smiles at the memory. He sighs hearing his phone ring picking it up he flips it open. "Yes Father?"

            "I need you to return. There is a situation here that I need you to deal with." Kenneth Irons says without greeting.

            Ian mentally groans 'Can't he take care of his messes himself.' "I'll be there by morning."

            "Good." Kenneth hangs up without saying goodbye.

            Ian sighs "Great now I have to tell Emma." After a few minutes, he stands making his way up to his daughter's room. He enters the dark bedroom turning on the lamp by the door he goes over to the bed gently shaking her. "Emma" He sits on the edge of the bed.

            Emma groans "Sleeping"

            "I know." Ian smoothes her hair back. 'I hate spending so much time away from Em.'

            Sensing his thoughtfulness Emma rubs at her eyes. "What's wrong Daddy?"

            "He called a situation came up and he wants me to return."

            "Can I come?" Emma asks hopefully.

            "You have school Em." He reminds

            Emma pouts crossing her arms over her chest. "You never let me go to New York."

            "It's better if you don't. Besides this isn't a fun trip."

            "When is it ever?" She scowls

            "I'll be gone a few days."

            Emma sits up sliding her arms around his waist her head on his shoulder. "I love you Daddy."

            "I love you too Em" He kisses her head. "Now I'll call you tonight. Be good while I'm gone."

            "I'm always good." Emma says innocently.

            "Sure you are." Ian chuckles.

            "Dad?" Emma pulls back slightly looking at him.

            "Yes?" Ian meets his daughter's brown eyes in the dimly lit room.

            "Am I ever going to meet my Mom?"

            "Perhaps one day." Ian answers after a moment. 'If I ever get the chance to tell her that you're with me.' "Now go back to sleep." As the teen lies down, he pulls up the covers and kisses her forehead.

            "I don't want you to go." Emma grumbles.

            "I have too Em."


            "I made a promise." He brushes his knuckles down her cheek. "Go back to sleep."

            "'k" Emma closes her eyes.

            After a few minutes, Ian stands walking out of the room. As he closes the door, Ian rests his head against it. "One day I hope we'll see her again."



            "I see you didn't bring the girl." Kenneth Irons remarks as his 'son'/bodyguard/personal assassin enters the dining room.

            "She has school."

            "I don't see why you don't just send her to boarding school." Kenneth says disgusted.

            "Emma's my daughter. I missed enough of her life when I was your guinea pig and I'm not going to miss anymore."

            "You don't want to miss any of her life yet you refuse to bring her to New York. Why? Worried she'll run into someone?" He chuckles when Ian doesn't respond.

            "For what reason did you recall me Father?" Ian asks keeping himself under control.

            Kenneth leans back in his chair regarding Ian. "One of the department heads was murdered sometime yesterday."

            "I thought it was a car accident." Ian states.

            "Coroners report." Kenneth picks up a file holding it out to Ian. "I received it not long before I called you."

            Ian takes the file opening it he scans it. "Why call me back for this Father?" He asks

            "I want you to work with the detectives assigned to the case and make sure they get all the information they need while making sure there is no connection between Mr. Chapman's death and his work at Vorschlag."

            "Yes Father." Ian nods "Who is heading the case?"

            Kenneth smirks savoring the news he holds for his son. "Sara Pezzini."

            Ian looks at his Father startled feeling his stomach tightens at the thought of seeing her again. 'My Sara.'

            "Here is her police jacket." Kenneth picks up another file handing it to Ian. "Get to work."

            Ian takes the file "Yes sir." He walks out of the dining room making his way through the house to his quarters. Upon entering his room, Ian sits at his desk taking a deep breath he opens the file his eyes falling on a picture of Sara wearing her uniform. "Sara." He whispers pained brushing his fingers over her face. 'Still so beautiful. I've missed you.' He closes his eyes taking a deep breath. 'She has probably moved on with her life.' He opens his eyes looking at the picture.


            Sara Pezzini looks up to find a familiar face in the doorway of her office. "Ian" She says surprised.

            "Hello Sara." Ian says softly.

            Sara stares at him for a second then speaks, "What are you doing here?" She demands.

            Ian enters the office. "Father recalled me to take care of the situation with Mr. Chapman's death."

            "After all these years you return." Sara says bitterly.

            "Sara..." Ian begins.

            Sara shakes her head. "What can I do for you?"

            "I just came by to drop this off." Ian removes a file from his overcoat setting it on her desk. "It's everything Vorschlag has on Chapman."

            "I thought he gave that to us." Sara says puzzled.

            "Personnel files only contain the basics on employees. Father keeps the more in depth files in storage away from Vorschlag." He starts towards the door "If you have questions you know where to find me."

            As Ian is about to walk out the door Sara speaks "Ian."

            Ian looks at Sara

            'I should tell him.' Sara swallows "Thanks."

            Ian nods walking out of the office. 'I should have told her.'

            Sara stares after him, 'Oh, Ian.' She rubs her forehead.

            "Who was that?" Danny Woo asks as he enters their office to find his Partner staring at the door.

            Sara looks at Danny. "Ian Nottingham. He works for Kenneth Irons."

            "Then what's with the look?" Danny asks

            Sara looks at her desk "He uh... he, Aras, and I were inseparable for a while when we were in high school."

            "What happened?"

            'He slept with Aras and denied it.' "He just left one day." Sara says 'And I had his baby and gave her up.' "I haven't seen him until now."

            "That's odd."

            Sara shrugs. "That's Ian."


            Ian walks into the study where his Father is watching the TVs. "You wanted to see me?"

            "I have an offer for you." Kenneth says after a moment.

            "What kind?" Ian asks suspiciously.

            "I want you to return and take over as head of security for Vorschlag."


            "The current head of security is leaving at the end of the month. I want you to take over."


            "Just think about it Ian."

            At the tone, Ian knows it is not a request for him to return but an order. "I'll think about it."

            "Good." Kenneth nods. "Now how is it going?"

            "I have been going through the security tapes the last few days. I spoke with Sara and they are still looking."


            "I have found nothing so far and neither have they."

            Kenneth nods waving his hand in dismissal. When Ian doesn't leave Kenneth looks at him "Something wrong?"

            "My decision involves Emma's input."

            "Why?" Kenneth scowls "She is only a child."

            "She deserves a say in the matter."

            "Fine." Kenneth grinds out. "Speak with the girl and return tomorrow."


            "Daddy" Emma barrels into her Dad as he walks into the house.

            Ian grunts at the force then dropping his bag and hugs her, "Good to see you too Em." He steps back "How was school?"

            "It sucked. I was worried about you." She looks at him. "You have to go back." She states after a second.

            "Yes I do. I came home to talk to you about something." He guides her into the living room.

            As they sit down Emma looks at him curiously. "What's going on?"

            "He's ordered me to return and take over as head of security."

            "No." She says stubbornly as she crosses her arms over her chest.

            "Emma it's an order, I have no say, he pretends I do but I don't."

            Emma rests her head on his shoulder and plays with the buttons on his shirt. "Do I get to go or do I have to stay here?"

            "I haven't decided." Ian admits

            "How come I never get to go to New York?"

            'Because I don't want your Mom to see you before I tell her.' He thinks to himself. "I just think for now its best if you stay here. Once things settle down I'll make my decision."

            "Fine." She grumbles, "When are you going back?"

            "Tomorrow morning."

            "I don't want you to go back there. He hurts you."

            Hearing her words, Ian winces and gently he strokes her hair, "Emma don't worry about it."

            After a few minutes, Emma sighs heavily.

            "What's wrong?"

            "I want to stay with you Daddy." She sniffles

            "I know baby." Ian hugs her pressing a kiss to her hair.


            "How is she?" Ian asks Martha as he watches Emma play with the dogs.

            "She's missed you." Martha answers watching as her charge plays. "You know she worries when you're with him when she's not around."

            "She never should have found out." Ian whispers

            "She was bound to find out sooner or later. It is not as if you could have hid it from her forever. Emma has always been sensitive towards the things around her especially when it involves you."

            "She wants to come with me."

            "Of course she does. You two have been inseparable since you left the army. You rarely leave her for a few days and you take her with you on the long term assignments."

            "Her mother is in New York." Ian says suddenly.

            Martha looks at her employer surprised. "Does she know that you have Emma?"

            "No. He never wanted me to tell her."

            "Are you going to?"

            "I will if she ever speaks to me again. She's still angry with me." He says sadly. "I want to tell her but I have to figure out how to tell her."

            "Are you going to tell Emma?"

            Ian lifts his shoulders "Not yet. I want to tell her Mom first. If she wants to see Emma then fine but in the end it will be Emma's choice."

            "And if her mother doesn't want to see her?"

            "Then I won't tell Emma where her Mom is until she's older."

            "Do you think her Mom will want to see her?" Martha inquires.

            "I don't really know." Ian admits.



            Hearing his daughter's tearful sniffle, Ian looks up from his reading to find Emma standing in the doorway of his study rubbing her eyes. "What's wrong Em?" He sets his book aside as she hurries over climbing onto his lap burrowing close. 'Another nightmare.' He realizes as he wraps his arms around her, "Another nightmare?"

            Emma nods "Uh huh."

            Ian gently strokes her hair. "What was it about?"

            Emma shrugs

            "Scared you huh?"

            "Yeah." She mumbles nodding.

            "Everything will be OK Em," Ian assures. "I promise." He gently strokes Emma's hair as she snuggles against him. When she drifts off to sleep Ian carefully stands carrying Emma out of the study up to her bedroom. He gently sets her down in her bed then tucks her in and kisses her forehead. He sits there watching the girl as she sleeps then stands walking out of the room.



            Emma sits on her bed ignoring her Dad as she pouts.

            Ian sighs opening the door he enters to find Emma staring at the wall. He goes over to the bed sitting down facing her. "Come on Em don't pout." He reaches out brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Have I ever told you about the first night you were with me?"

            "No." Emma mumbles.

            "Well after he yelled at me for messing up I went up to the room that became yours. Martha was trying to get you to take your bottle but you refused to take it. You were stubborn even then. Anyway, Martha handed you to me and told me to try getting you to take your bottle... you did." He runs his finger down her nose. "I spent the whole night watching you sleep. After that first night I knew I had to do whatever it took to keep you with me."

            "How'd you get him to agree? I know he doesn't like me."

            "It's not that he doesn't like you Em. He's just not used to not being first in life. When your Mom came along, he went from first to second. Then when you came along you became first and he became third."

            "How did you get him to let me stay?"

            "I told him I would do anything to keep you."

            Emma looks at her Dad thoughtfully. "Is that why you stayed?"

            "I had no choice. I knew if I left and took you with me that he would find a way to take you. Considering my age at the time he probably would have succeeded."

            "And now?"

            "He and I had a deal Em. I can't go back on it."

            "I'm glad I got to stay with you Daddy."

            Ian smiles reaching out he strokes her cheek. "So am I. You are the only one that's kept me sane through everything."

            "I still don't want you to go there."

            "I don't either," Ian admits "but I have no choice. I have to go back." He pulls her close hugging her. "It'll be OK Emma. I'll be back next weekend to pack up some things."

            Emma nods "'k"

            "I'll call you every day and you know you can call whenever you want."

            Emma nods

            "I have to get going. The car is waiting." He kisses her forehead "I love you Emma."

            "I love you Daddy."

            "Be good while I'm gone."

            "I will." Emma promises watching as he walks out of her room.


            "You're back." Kenneth remarks without looking up.

            "Yes sir." Ian says immediately going into his submissive position.

            "Have you made your decision?"

            "I will return."

            "And the girl?" Kenneth looks up.

            "I haven't decided yet."

            Kenneth nods. "While you were gone you had a visitor... Detective Pezzini stopped by. I told her you were out of town for the day."

            "I will go speak with her."

            "Good." Kenneth waves his hand in dismissal.


            Sara enters her office startled to find Ian leaning against her desk. "Ian." She greets stiffly.

            "Hello Sara." Ian says inwardly wincing at her tone.

            Sara stares at Ian. "He told me you were out of town."

            Ian nods "I just returned a few hours ago." Ian answers. "He told me you wanted to speak with me."

            "Uh yeah." Sara sets her coffee cup on the desk going to the filing cabinet she picks up a file sitting on top of the cabinet. "Do you know who this could be?" She asks removing a photocopy of a day planner.

            Ian takes the paper scanning it. "It's not familiar. I'll ask Father." He hands Sara the paper.

            Sara nods "Thanks."

            Ian starts towards the door then stops "Sara?"


            Ian turns looking at her. "How is Aras?"

            Sara stiffens at his question. "I wouldn't know. We haven't spoken in a few years." She answers after a moment.

            "What happened?" He asks pained by her expression.

            Sara looks at him. "The same thing that happened with you happened again... and again." She says bitterly. "I found out she had been sleeping with the guy I was seeing."

            Ian grits his teeth closing the office door he turns to face Sara. "Nothing happened between Aras and I. I never touched her!" He hisses.

            Sara snorts, "I've heard that before. Only difference is I never caught you two having sex in my bed or making out."

            Ian winces at her angry tone. "When would I have supposedly had sex with her? When you and Aras were in school, I was with my tutors. When you weren't in school, it was the three of us unless she had detention. You and I were alone together but Aras and I never spent more than five minutes alone the whole time we knew each other."

            "She's my sister she wouldn't lie to me!" Sara hisses.

            "Neither would I." 'Well except for the whole Emma issue.'

            "Then why did you suddenly leave? Why didn't you stay and fight?"

            "What was I supposed to do Sara?" He demands. "I couldn't fight your sister. I tried Sara. For two weeks I called every day but she hung up on me."

            Sara stares at him. "You did?"

            "Yes. I tried to talk to you but in the end he sent me away to finish my training."

            Sara is about to respond when the door opens and in walks Danny.

            "Interrupting something?" Danny asks concerned by the look on his friend's face.

            "No. He was just leaving." Sara says stiffly.

            With a final look at Sara, Ian walks out of the office without another word.

            "You OK, Pez?" Danny asks once the dark-haired man walks out of the office.

            Sara nods. "Let's just finish this." She sits at her desk.


            Sara walks into her apartment and the second she closes the door she slides to the floor giving into the tears and pain straining to get out. "Oh, God," She whispers sobs escaping. "Ian." She hugs herself slowly rocking "Why did you have to return after all these years? Why?" She sobs tears streaming down her cheeks.


            Ian winces seeing a large bruise forming on his hip as he pulls on his silk pajama bottoms. "At least Emma isn't here to notice this." He mutters limping into his room as he runs his hands over his face. He lays on his bed his eyes on the ceiling. 'Why didn't I tell her? She deserves to know that I have Emma. Or does she already know and not care? She did give her up for adoption. Did she hate me that much that she'd give up our baby?' Ian winces at the thought. 'No, if she'd had an abortion then I'd say it was out of hate. She didn't have one... she carried Emma for nine months.' He sighs if relief. "I'll tell her when things settle down." He mutters aloud to himself.


            Sara sits at her godparents' kitchen table lost in her thoughts.

            "OK Sara what is wrong?" Marie Siri demands as she watches her goddaughter stare into her coffee cup.

            "There's nothing wrong." Sara lies.

            "Sara Magdalene Pezzini don't you lie to me. I know something is going on." At Sara's puzzled expression Marie explains, "You aren't drinking your coffee. Now tell me what's bothering you?" She prods in her motherly tone.

            "He's back." Sara says morosely.

            "Who's back?" Marie asks confused.

            "Ian Nottingham... my baby's father." Sara answers blinking back tears.

            "Oh, dear." Marie reaches across patting Sara's hand. "Did he say why he's back?"

            Sara nods "One of his Father's employees was killed last week. He just showed up at my office out of the blue." Sara takes a deep breath. "God, why did he have to come back after all these years?"

            "Did you tell him?" Marie asks

            "No." Sara admits. "We've barely said three words to each other on anything other than the case until last night."

            "What happened last night?"

            "We got into an argument about what happened between him and Aras. He denied it again."

            "Sara," Marie pauses choosing her words carefully, "do you think that it might be possible that he's telling the truth?" At Sara's expression she explains, "I love Aras too but you know how jealous she can get especially when you were teens."

            "Aras is my sister why would she lie to me?"

            "Sara you once told me that he was the love of your life and that he didn't have it in him to hurt you."

            Sara winces looking down. "I was in high school."

            "Yet since him you haven't had a serious relationship."

            "Well it's kind of hard to find a guy that won't sleep with Aras." Sara says bitterly.

            Marie sighs at Sara's tone. "She's not here yet he is. You might give him a chance to explain his side. Perhaps you might tell him about the baby."

            Sara looks at Marie startled.

            "I know how it has been eating at you all of these years."

            Sara shrugs "Maybe."