The Truth About Santa By Siren

Here's the TRUTH about Santa and his 'elves'! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was sitting at my computer one day, musing about Santa and his 'elves'. Why does everyone portray the elves as short and stubby, yet loveable? And than I realized it. They aren't really elves at all. They're hobbits!

Think about it. Hobbits are cute, loveable, have pointy ears, love food (think of the cookies people!), and are cousins to the elves. And than I wondered, who would kidnap the hobbits from Middle Earth? And than it hit me. Gandalf!

The dude has magic powers, right? I mean, after all, he is a wizard! So here's what I think happened:

One Day in the Shire:

Gandalf was on his merry way to visit the hobbits when he saw some children playing. One of them was crying because his toy was broken. Gandalf fixed it, and seeing the child's face light up, got a brilliant idea. (Insert blinking light bulb here.) He could make all the children happy by giving them all toys!

But even with all of his magic, he couldn't possibly make all those toys. He'd need some helpers. Looking up, he saw that he was in the Shire. Hobbits! Of course! They were small, could fit into most over-head compartments, and were hard workers! So, he took out some food, and made a trail leading to a portal.

The hobbits followed it, not knowing that they were walking right into his trap. And than, BOOM! They got sucked into our world. Now, Gandalf needed his HQ to be located somewhere that was not heavily populated. DUH! The North Pole! No one would suspect hobbits living in such harsh conditions!

So he set up shop, and as payment, brought all the Christmas cookies back and gave them to the hobbits.

So, there's my theory. So, whenever you think of cookies or Christmas, think of the hobbits! And remember to tell your kids that Santa doesn't have elves! The hobbits deserve the credit! Spread the word, my fellow Tolkien lovers! Give the hobbits recognition!

-Siren