So before we get started, I want to just address something. I've seen occasional reviewers going around not just on my fics but friend's fics as well, bitching and moaning about polycules and how tHe giRLS lOviNG eaCh oTHer is NEtoRaRE bECauSe tHEY'rE CHeaTINg ON tHe mAiN CHARaCteR. A harem where all the girls just agree to suck the One True Cock™ cuz "hE DeSeRVeS iT" but all secretly wish they were the only one hopping on it is just pure fucking wank. I know they're not the same thing, but I basically use harem and polycule interchangeably, and I ALWAYS mean polycule. If you're the type to come crying in reviews that X is getting NTR'd by his own girls because they're in relationships with each other too, do me a favor and just fuck off. I have no patience for your idiocy and will IMMEDIATELY block you without reading a single other thing you've said. If you do it to one of my friends, I will preemptively block you too.

Fuck off.

-]|[-

Chapter XIII: The Obstacle Race

-]|[-

The explosions in the sky brought not terror, but excitement. They were loud, crackling pops that disgorged clouds of colored smoke into the air above the U.A. campus, though more specifically the stadium. Thousands upon thousands of people were chattering excitedly as they were able to pass through the U.A. Gates for the first time in their lives.

Of course, in-person attendance for the Sports Festival was restricted. Not just anybody could get in. There was an incredibly thorough vetting process even if you were part of the press, Heroes yourselves, or outright related to the students in question. It wasn't mere money that could get you in. U.A. took the security of its students incredibly seriously, and they were all but rabid about it this year. Hundreds more Heroes from all walks of life had been given permission to attend than normal, or outright requested as added security.

The USJ Incident had shaken the entirety of Japan. It was the first time in decades that an even moderately successful Villain attack had taken place on hallowed ground. Against any Hero School. The Principal had not messed around with security for this event, once it became clear that they had to host it.

So, it was little wonder that there were plenty of big names on campus, including several from the top ten; the unapproachable Endeavor, the Dragoon Hero, hell, even the current 7th ranked, never-works-with-anyone Miruko herself was grinning in the stands, eager to see some kids beat the snot out of each other.

And if Villains dared attack, all the better so she could crush them.

…

"Looks like it's almost time guys." Izuku smiled, the flames on his right arm gone for the moment, leaving just his scarred stump. It had gotten some curious stares from his classmates, wondering if he was conserving energy for some reason. "How are we feeling?"

"Nervous, but excited!" Ochako pumped a fist into the air, "I'm going to do my best!"

"YEAH!" Several others joined her in cheering.

"Gosh, I'm so relieved!" Tōru waved her arms, "Thanks so much for helping me with my Support Forms, Midoriya-kun, Yaomomo!" She was the only one in their class that was allowed to wear her full suit.

"Of course!" Momo said, almost looking affronted, "We'd never allow you to have to go naked on TV!"

"You're welcome, Hagakure-san." Izuku gave her a thumbs up and a smile. "Alright everyone, do your best and fight to win!"

"Deku!" And with one word, the excited buzz in the room crashed and burned.

Izuku turned and looked at his once-friend in the eyes, "Bakugō." He replied, "Got something you want to say?"

"Yeah, I do." Katsuki glared at him, "Don't you dare fucking lose before the finals. I'm putting you in your fucking place myself."

"Go f-" Camie started to growl, but Izuku held his stump out to prevent her from stomping forward.

Izuku stared dispassionately at the angry blonde, "Grow up, Bakugō." He said, finally allowing the understanding he had blocked out for so long to flow through him. What a wonder actual love and positive reinforcement did. "Everyone here is going to do their best. Ignore them and you won't get far." The incensed blonde took a step forward with a snarl, and Izuku gave him the biggest insult he could have given him.

He turned around, and started talking to Camie, completely ignoring his old friend.

"You bas-" Katsuki popped off, his arm crackling with explosions.

"Don't go getting disqualified, Nitrogremlin." Inasa smirked, daring him to take another step.

And Katsuki would have, but the room was flooded with light as the double doors opened. "Game time, people!" Izuku smiled, "Time to show the world that We Are Here!" And with only a few in the room knowing just what that meant, they confidently stepped out.

"It's time, people! YEAAAAAAHHHH!" Present Mic's sonorous voice belted out as all of the students began walking into the stadium. For some of them, the lights were definitely a little too bright, and the roar of eighty-thousand people too loud. Even Izuku couldn't help but feel some trepidation despite all of his growth. Some of them though, just ate it all up and waved at the crowds eagerly. Izuku grinned as he saw Setsuna blowing kisses to the stands, her fierce smirk on her face. "Iiiiiit's the U.A. SPORTS! FESTIVAL!" The roar reached a crescendo, making Kyōka cringe a little bit. "It's the one time each year when our fledgling Heroes compete in a ruthless grand battle! And first up, entering from the middle two corridors, give it up for Class 1-A and 1-B!" The roar erupted again, loud enough to actually make a seismograph shake a little bit. "That's right! They need no introductions, but they're getting them anyway! The miraculous rising stars who brushed off a Villain attack with their steely willpower! It's the first years of the Hero Course!"

"I know they gotta hype us up and all, but seriously, some of us got pretty hurt." Kirishima grumbled.

And with that, the roar started to die down to a low drone as the other courses were introduced; "And now it's time to welcome the eager hopefuls of classes C, D, and E of General Studies, and the masters of their crafts: the Support Students of classes F, G, and H!" He then lackadaisically introduced the business and management students, getting some huffs from some of the others.

"After all that hyping for the Hero Courses, he just gives the rest of us a few words." A General Studies student with a bowl cut sighed, "Typical."

"Hard to get motivated." Another girl replied, a look of irritation on her face.

"We're just here to make the others look good, huh?"

"And finally, your first-year umpire! Give it up for Miss Midnight, the R-Rated Hero!" Present Mic belted out.

Midnight sashayed onto the stage, drawing several blushes from the students and the stands with her exaggerated hip-rolling. She swung her arm, and a loud CRACK rang through the air from her flogger. "Before we begin, it's time for that good old welcoming pledge! Eon! You're up!" She winked at Izuku, who had his shoulder clapped by Inasa.

The only reason Izuku wasn't freaking out right now was that Momo had reminded him that it would be coming last night. He and his girlfriends had quite some time to brainstorm for this, and they were pretty excited to see how it would go. As he walked, he heard some of the General Studies or maybe Business Course students complaining that he got to go up just because he had 'probably' scored really high on the Entrance Exam. He did some breathing exercises as he slowly took the steps up onto the raised platform.

He got in front of the mic, fighting to keep his voice even and his stage jitters as low as possible. Honestly, couldn't they have given the role to Bakugō so he could have been a jerk for two seconds and gotten it over with? He cleared his throat, and spoke, "One month ago, we had barely gotten used to the regular flow of classes when we were attacked by Villains." He said, and the low drone went silent, "The media can dress it up however they like, and hype us up as much as they want, but the truth of the matter is that we were in great danger." His voice gained strength, as he grabbed his hanging sleeve with his left hand and rolled it up over his stump, revealing the scarred flesh to the world. "And we didn't all get out unscathed." His voice rose as the din returned, with several hisses and screams of shock ringing out. He waited a moment, before continuing, "Those evil men and women came to play with us. Toy with us. Break our spirits. Make us beg for mercy, so they could laugh and hurt us more. They wanted to send a message to the country that no one was safe." He took a deeper breath, before yelling, "BUT WE ARE STILL HERE!"

He took another breath, looking at some of the other students, before locking eyes with the purple-haired kid who looked like he hadn't slept in a week, "They didn't break us! Couldn't break us! We took everything they had to throw at us, and though it was terrifying, though it was agonizing… WE CAME OUT ON TOP! The U.A. Students and Staff sent them fleeing with their tails between their legs!" Cheers erupted from the crowd, which thankfully drowned out what happened next.

Izuku raised his stump, engulfing the limb with his healing flames. But unlike the times he had made his flame arm, he focused on all of the anatomy and healing lessons he'd taken from Recovery Girl. A grunt of pain escaped him before he could stop it, and his teeth ground together as the unexpected pain raced through his nerves as his stump split open. He wasn't sure why it hadn't been expected, and he felt silly for it now. But now that he experienced it once, he could keep it under control. It was the only grunt that got out, and the crowd quickly quieted down as they saw him doing something. Izuku only had to focus for a few more seconds before he let out a sigh of relief, and focused back on the speech, "To the Villains of the world, I have one thing to say: THAT WAS YOUR ONE SHOT!" The cheering of the crowd was deafening, and this time a seismometer would have done more than just a little bit of quaking.

He turned his gaze to the non-Hero Course students, his flaming arm making a challenging fist, "And to our fellows hoping to take our places in the Hero Courses…" The flames vanished, revealing his new arm. The skin was pasty white and completely hairless, and there was a clean line separating his normal arm and regrown one. In the stands, his mother burst into joyful tears. Izuku finally allowed an absolutely savage grin to cross his face, shocking even Katsuki, "BRING IT ON!"

-]|[-

In another part of Japan, a normally very clean and well-kept bar was undergoing some… aggression.

Kurogiri sighed as Shigaraki hurled a glass so hard that it almost embedded itself in the wall before the glass could realize it should be shattering, "This is bullshit!" Shigaraki snarled.

Kurogiri stared at him evenly, "Please don't destroy the bar, Shigaraki Tomura."

Shigaraki glared at him, reaching up to scratch at the joint on his left arm. Or what remained of it. Both his left arm and right leg were missing, the Doctor having been unable to regenerate the limbs even with a quick emergency implantation of Hyper Regeneration. They had believed that the Quirk's weakness was that it could not heal cicatrized wounds to their original state, but it appeared that the real function was 'healing all wounds and returning you to default health.' And unfortunately, the 'default' state was only registered when the Quirk was acquired. He had healed, but his arm and leg were still gone. "Shut up, Kurogiri." He replied darkly, "I had almost been a little happy, seeing him almost as injured as me. What kind of Quirk is that?! He just regrew his fucking arm when even sensei and the doctor couldn't do anything for me!" Which meant that his Quirk's effectiveness was halved. He only had one hand now, after all. "AND HE CALLED US OUT!"

"He did indeed." Sensei's voice came from a TV showing only static. The man's deep voice rumbled in a chuckle, "Indeed, what a sublime Quirk. All of that power you described, and yet such utility too. It's almost as if it's multiple Quirks in one." Oh, how he desired this Quirk. He wanted it like he had never wanted any other. It was unfortunate that it likely was beyond his reach now, what with it being merged into One For All. He recognized that oaf's stench even without smelling it.

The idea that Izuku did not possess One For All did not even cross his mind.

"You should watch carefully, Tomura. Try to pick out any weaknesses. That boy is now-"

"Player Two." Shigaraki interrupted his master, a sudden realization flowing through him, "He's not an NPC. He's Player Two." He clenched his remaining fist, "I get it now." He hissed, "All Might is old. Killing him is just some EXP." He glared at Izuku's face, "The Heroes have a new face now. Young blood. The Next Symbol of Peace." He spat on the bar floor, "Fuck that! I won't allow it! I'll slaughter him!"

"Ahahaha!" All For One burst into laughter, "Excellent, Tomura! Watch your new enemy! Learn his weaknesses! And then when you're ready… break him."

-]|[-

The roar from the cloud was so loud that Kyōka straight up could not dim her hearing enough even with all her training. She was forced to clamp her hands over her ears, and gratefully accepted earmuffs from Momo and hurriedly clapped them onto her ears, sighing in relief. "Thanks, Yaomomo." Momo smiled gently at her, getting a bashful grin back.

Midnight squealed, "What a titillating speech from our Class President in 1-A!" She had hearts rising over her head and was wiggling excitedly as she watched Izuku descend and rejoin his classmates, "What YOOOOUTH!"

Once the roar died to a manageable level, Kyōka smirked and lightly punched Izuku, "What a speech, Green! Where were you hiding all that badass?!" She took off the muffs, keeping them around her neck for now.

Izuku chuckled nervously, "I'm just surprised my legs didn't give out."

"You did incredible, Izuku!" Melissa pulled him into a tight hug, and Izuku slumped, "Oof! Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, that was just a lot more tiring than I thought it would be…" Izuku mumbled, wrapping his arms just above her butt.

"Oi, oi, you've already got a bunch of girlfriends! Leave some girls for the rest of us, Prez!" Sero snarked.

"We found her! We have dibs!" Mina laughed, nudging him. Melissa blushed brightly, before laughing.

"Silence!" Midnight yelled, cracking her flogger. They all stood to attention, looking at her, "With that wonderful speech out of the way, it's time to have some bloody fun!" She licked her lips, a dark look on her face.

"Bloody?!" Several students yelped.

"The fateful first event this year iiiiiisssss!" A holographic screen appeared beside her, which she pointed to with her flogger, "The Obstacle Race!" Her flourish distracted everyone, as she pressed a button behind her back. Immediately, a rumble shook the stadium, and the sound of explosions made several people flinch. "Oh, don't fret, darlings!" Midnight said salaciously, "Look here!"

"Oh, isn't that Ground Beta?" Momo asked out loud.

"It is indeed!" Midnight gave Momo the nod, "But as you can see… it looks quite different from the last time you saw it!" She smirked at the understatement. The training ground looked destroyed. Several buildings were tipped over and it was only advanced engineering and Cementoss that kept them from crumbling like regular buildings. Midnight continued, "You see… we're doing things a little bit differently this year. You all should keep a ready ear on all of the intercoms that will be posted on the path to Ground Beta, because there will be a special little announcement the second we have our winner!"

"Oh boy, here comes U.A. and their tricks again." Ochako mumbled, getting an amused croak from Tsuyu.

"The rules are simple and the objective simpler! Race as fast as you can to Ground Beta, and await further orders when you get there!" Midnight licked her lips, "Oh, and watch out for all the fun little surprises we've littered the path with. As for the rules: While you may inconvenience your fellow racers, you may not do anything that will cause debilitating injuries. Other than that, anything goes as long as you stay on the path!" She tapped her chin, "Oh, and I know full well that some of you have the ability to simply go around or even over the obstacles, but I would think twice about doing so." She smirked, particularly at Izuku and Inasa, "You never know what might happen, after all."

"Ominous." Kyōka mumbled, nudging Momo.

"Mhm…" Izuku agreed, "But is this a 'you'll miss something important' warning or a 'do so at your own peril' warning? Like it being an automatic disqualification or something?"

"…You don't think even Principal Nezu would be crazy enough to have flak cannons for flyers, do you?" Momo shivered a little.

The intercom crackled on, and Nezu's maniacal laughter filled the stadium for a few seconds before a loud feedback noise cut it off.

"…" Everyone stood stock still, and even the crowd refused to twitch.

"Well, that happened!" Present Mic kicked things off, "But before we get started, we would just like to remind the audience that while you will have video of all of the events, only we teachers will have any audio! So, if you hear us replying to any students, don't fret! Nothing is broken! Let's get this show on the road!"

"Racers, to your positions!" Midnight yelled, having swiped some sweat off her forehead. Nezu cackling was never a good thing. The spell was broken, and they all got ready, facing the access tunnel. There was a traffic-light looking thing with the red lights flashing, "Ready," one of the lights vanished, "set," another vanished, "GO!" The light turned green.

With a roar, the throng of students took off, and the smarter members of the group immediately realized a problem. The access tunnel was WAY too small, and it was causing a bottleneck. It was a traffic jam of epic proportions, as students shoved and elbowed their way through. But, they were making good progress through, with some of the faster ones like Shōto and Inasa having already managed to get almost to the exit.

"AND THE FIRST OBSTACLE HAS ALREADY STRUCK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Present Mic yelled, eagerly getting into his role as the announcer. "Or has it?" He asked ominously, which gave the students barely a microsecond of warning.

And then the actual trap sprung.

"OW!" One of the 'lucky' Gen Ed students who had managed to sneak into the tunnel first got knocked ass over teakettle by a boxing glove that popped out of the ceiling.

The entire mass stopped, "Oh you've got to be-" and then there were boxing gloves.

"Watch out, little listeners! Because the Crunch and Punch is here!" Present Mic cackled.

"Shit!" Shinsō Hitoshi, the purple-haired boy, snarled as one of his Brainwashed patsies was hit, breaking his control. The boy immediately started swearing and tried to throw Shinsō off. This caused a chain reaction as he knocked into the others of the 'horse' and broke the control on them as well.

"OW! MY FUCKING BOOB?!" Mina screamed in shocked pain as she was socked in the chest. "Grr!" She swiped, unleashing a wave of acid that… disintegrated the gloves and only the gloves. "Oh crap!" The piston discharged again, only this time there was nothing relatively soft to cushion the blow.

"Be more careful, Mina-chan." Izuku chided, his eyes glowing green as he tore the destroyed trap from the wall as they ran.

"Thanks babe!" Camie slapped his ass as she went by, drawing a yelp.

"Hehe, this is fun!" Setsuna flew over their heads in a multitude of pieces, casually weaving through the punching gloves.

"Says you!" Melissa yelped, blocking another fist with her shield. "Okay, v2 definitely needs a shield emitter for each arm." She mumbled, having had to turn her body to block.

"Ah!" Momo yelped, getting practically tackled from behind as someone shoved Yui into her. She crashed into Izuku, who easily held them up, preventing a pileup from occurring.

"Thanks." Yui mumbled, getting off her back and taking a step. And then a glove came out of the floor for the first time, punching her directly in the [redacted], folding her over.

Everyone froze, unconsciously crossing their legs and covering their privates as Yui backed up a step and sank to her knees, nearly kissing the floor. "OOOOF!" Present Mic yelled, "I'm not sure that was appropriate for cable television!"

Momo kicked the mechanism, ripping it from its hydraulics and sending it flying out of the tunnel, hitting Monoma in the ass, and sending him crashing to the floor with a yelp. "Uhh, Yui? Are you, eep!"

Yui's expressionless face but burning eyes was one of the scariest non-USJ things they had even seen. She slapped a hand to the floor and the entire corridor expanded, opening up like a cone in front of them. Up above, the people in the stands screamed as the seats grew upwards and bulged, sending some of them flying a few feet off their seats. The floor itself rippled, shrinking, and growing many times in rapid succession and absolutely shredding all of the underground traps. All of them wobbled and some of the people ahead of them who were still in the tunnel yelped as they were thrown and tumbled this way and that. Everyone still behind them froze, trying to push the crush behind them back and yelling at them to stop charging.

"I, uhhh, I think you got them, Yui-chan."

"Hnn." Yui let out a noise before calming, using her Quirk to seal the corridor behind them. Dozens of students furiously yelled out and started pounding on the walls. She tried to stand, but her legs were trembling.

"Woah! Who knew quiet, little Nexus was such a spitfire!" Present Mic yelled, "She's not only destroyed many of the floor punchers, but also trapped numerous other students behind the wall! Devious! I love it!"

"Uhhh, do you need some…" Izuku was blushing furiously as he held an ignited hand out.

A very perverted gleam entered Yui's eye as she quickly grabbed his hand and dragged it to the seat of her pants, much closer than she really needed to, and then let out an uncharacteristically loud, lewd moan as the effect of his flames hit her. Sweet relief from the pain was quickly overcome by the utterly pleasurable feeling hitting her.

"MIDORIYA IZUKU!" His mom's voice somehow came out louder than Present Mic and Midnight's squeal.

"Oh myyyyy…" Present Mic goggled, "Now THAT was definitely not appropriate for cable television!"

Izuku yelped, his face burning red and making him look like a tomato as he pulled his hand back from her special place. He hadn't felt much, but…

"Mm…" Yui 'said,' sadly. But she got to her feet, no longer in pain. "…Feels great now."

"Well now." Melissa was blushing just as hard as Izuku, "Lets, uhh… go, shall we?"

"Right!" Izuku yelped, before turning and blasting away, his embarrassment overcoming him.

"Yes! Go." Momo said, a little mechanically. Her face was just as bright red as the other two.

"Man, it's been a while since Midori got THAT red." Mina was laughing her head off.

"Damn fam, should have been me." Camie winked, and Setsuna burst into laughter.

"Oh, we have GOT to tell Nejire-chan about this later." The other greenie was cackling.

"You're very… forward, Kodai-chan." Melissa said hedgingly.

Whatever she was going to reply was cut off as they burst into the sunlight, and the reflection off the giant iceberg Shōto had left behind almost blinded them. Izuku had already blasted a hole through it and was long gone.

"Todoroki-kun's Quirk is so unfair." Melissa mused, chuckling. Mina nodded rapidly.

"Well, we've already lost Izu. We staying together or going all out?" Momo asked.

Camie grinned, "Last one there gets another punishment game!" She took off, eagerly wishing to see Momo in more cosplay.

"Not this time!" The heiress yelled. She activated her Quirk, forming her new costume underneath her. She tore off her gym uniform, seeing as it was now useless.

"Oh, what's this?! We're seeing Izanami's Quirk in action folks, and she is daring!" Present Mic narrated, "Don't worry! No rules have been broken! Izanami's totally OP Quirk lets her make her own costume at any time she wishes!"

Momo grinned, "See you at the finish, ladies!" She engulfed herself in One For All and was off like a bolt of lightning.

"No, get back here, Yaomomo!" Setsuna took off after her, "I've got a Mai Shiranui cosplay with your name on it!"

…

Momo quickly caught up to Izuku, who himself had caught up to Shōto and Inasa. Bakugō was blasting somewhere above them, "You okay, Izu?"

"Still wanting to die." He moaned, "Mom saw that! Yui-san is so…so…"

"Forward?" She asked, "Yeah, I'd say so." She muttered, blushing.

"What happened?" Inasa asked as he slowed down and started floating beside them, grinning, "That blush on your face tells me it was something amusing."

"I had to heal Yui-san." Izuku said, "Uhh…" His blush increased, "Uh…down there. She grabbed my hand and made me get… uhh… closer than needed."

Inasa sputtered, crashing to the floor, and rolling twice before springing to his feet and beginning to run beside them as if nothing happened, "HA! I'd call you a lucky bastard, but you were already that five girlfriends ago!" Momo and Izuku sputtered.

"It's no time to chat!" Present Mic yelled as they caught up to Shōto, "It's time for the next trial!" The area they had come to was a vast forest, and it clearly was some old growth.

"How does U.A. do it? Cities I can understand because of Cementoss-sensei, but a whole forest?" Shōto asked, frowning a bit.

"Who fucking cares?!" Katsuki roared as he crashed next to them, "Stop snoozing around and hurry the fuck up so we can get to the fights!" He ignited, blasting forward. None of them saw the microfilament-thin strings that covered the forest. Up until one snagged him. "What the f-" And then a whole ass log crashed into him, knocking him flying to the left and out of sight.

Momo snorted, "My kingdom for a camera."

"It's all recorded for the masses, I~ZA~NA~MI!" Present Mic laughed at the grin that split her face. "Welcome to the Trial of String! Tread carefully, because pulling or cutting any of those strings might trigger a nasty trap!"

"Ugh, and I suppose flying over it would be out of the question." Inasa grumbled, glaring at the sky.

"If you want to risk a DQ, be my guest." Shōto said, before they all deadpanned as Katsuki came roaring back and attacked the log which had sent him flying.

"DIE!" The, for once, rightfully angry blonde roared as he blasted the log into splinters.

Izuku pulled his tie out of his pocket and formed his Psyblade. Momo joined him in forming a machete, and, taking a page out of their books, Shōto made an ice blade and swung it a few times with a strange look on his face, and Inasa simply started swirling wind along his arm so fast that it would cut. "Heh, old anime was the best. Never would have thought of this without Naruto."

"Just don't let Kyōka-chan hear you praising it!" Momo laughed as she took off, Izuku a few milliseconds later.

Now that they were on the lookout for them, they could see the very faint strings. Izuku did the best at dodging them, being able to twist himself in midair. Inasa was floating too, but he actually had less control over his wind without his costume, so he wasn't flying as nimbly as he normally would. Momo was hopping between trees with One For All at a low percentage, while Shōto was freezing a path to skate on.

All of them were expecting more logs, but when one of them tripped another string, that certainly wasn't what they got. "Oh no!" Momo gasped as she landed from a hop and a string hidden very close to the surface of the dirt snagged her foot. Immediately, a riot water cannon popped out of a hidden nook and blasted her with 500 gallons a minute of water. Enough to knock her clean off her feet normally. Izuku had been on the ball, and saved his girlfriend with a Psyshield. He grunted as the deluge of water continuously pushed at his powerful shield, making it wobble in the air as the water turned into a spray in every direction. "…U.A. is insane." Momo gaped at the sight.

Izuku grinned, "We love it though." His grin widened, and his face went very slightly… impish. He tilted the shield, and the water deflected off it… straight into the flying/blasting Bakugō about to pass them.

"WHAT THE F-" Bakugō tried to dodge, but was too slow and got hit by the stream of water, falling out of the sky. "DEKU YOU SON OF A BI-NDHVSOGUIF!" Another stream hit him.

"BWAHAHAHA!" Present Mic was roaring in laughter, "Looks like the Blast fizzled out!"

"That was awful even for you, Mic." Aizawa deigned to actually do his job and commentate for once. Most people hadn't even known there was a second commentator, "Excellent use of a triggered trap to inconvenience the other racers by Eon. Though now Frozone and Gale Force have taken the initiative and have gotten ahead of Izanami and Eon."

"Ah, crap!" Izuku yelped, before he and Momo took off again. The furious Bakugō had to wring himself out for a few seconds before following.

Inasa triggered a trap, and it was another log. He easily sliced through it with his Air Blade, but had an epiphany, "Damn, the more traps we trigger, the easier it will be for everyone else to catch up!"

"But the more time we take being careful, the easier it will be for them to catch up anyway." Shōto replied, not seeing a string snake around his ankle. When he took a step, something not unlike Aizawa's scarf snapped shut on him like a coiling snake, trapping him and causing him to fall to the ground. "…" He deadpanned, "…I hate U.A. sometimes." He eyed his friends, "Don't suppose you want to help me out of this?"

"Sorry Todoroki-kun, but this is a race." Momo raced by, looking apologetic.

"Thought not." Shōto sighed, before trying to figure out if it would turn brittle while frozen. If anything, it just made it squeeze tighter.

"Ha! You suck, half-n-half! Eat dirt!" Bakugō blasted by.

Shōto's eyes narrowed, and he abandoned his attempts to free himself, took aim, and fired an icicle at one of the strings. He cut it just as Bakugō was passing by, and up above, a slime cannon fired, covering Bakugō in a viscous green goo and practically sticking him to the floor. Even Shōto couldn't help the exhale of laughter that escaped him.

"Shit fam!" Camie was howling as she took in the sight, having just now caught up with a couple others, "Let me help you out of this." She started unwrapping him, barely able to keep her laughter under control.

"Aren't we enemies?" Shōto raised an eyebrow.

"Shit, just for that, I'd give you a head start! That was gold!" Setsuna was snickering as she helped.

"Here, this will be faster!" Melissa ignited her hard light spear, which was able to cut enough of it off that Mina was able to cheerfully get Todoroki back on his feet.

"Bravo! What a show of sportsmanship from Automata, Discordia, Amina Acid, and Minerva!" Mic said cheerfully, "You girls better get high places!"

"Altruism is irrational in a competition. Eon, Gale Force, and Izanami had the right of it." Aizawa deadpanned, "That said, it was a good showing of character."

The girls were pouting at their homeroom teacher's words, but Yui ignored them. She picked up a piece of the scarf, and smiled ominously. She turned around and threw it, and the scarf grew to gigantic proportions, forming a loose wall of incredibly tough material. She pointed at Todoroki, "Ice at ends."

Todoroki blinked, before doing so. As soon as the ice touched the material, it snapped together and coiled on the trees, forming an actual wall. "Huh…"

Yui looked smug, "Thermal contraction." She said simply, before turning and taking off.

"…Okay, maybe NOT so altruistic after all." Present Mic gaped at the roadblock Yui had put up. "Our little Nexus is quite scary!"

Aizawa looked very interested, "She's too good to be in your class, Vlad. Which one of mine do you want in trade?" Some very loud swearing from the teacher's quarters followed.

Up in the lead, Izuku, Momo, and Inasa burst from the tree line and had a good stretch of empty road, which they all used to their advantage to kick it into high gear. They blazed forward so quickly that all that was left was the dust trail they kicked up behind them, leaving some gouges in the dirt. "Gee, I wonder what we'll be embarrassed by next?" Momo deadpanned, keeping an eye on everything as best she could.

"Why, the Sinking Stones of course!" Present Mic replied helpfully.

"Welp, that certainly has my gut sinking like a stone." Inasa grumbled as they came upon a pond. And as promised, it was a very muddy looking lake, with some fake-looking stone platforms filling it, "And I suppose flying is out of the question too."

"They DID tell us we had stay on the path, which I assume means we have to go through the obstacles, not around them." Izuku smirked, "Bye!" He laughed, jumping on his first stone, which was engulfed in a green glow. Every step he took put him on a new platform, which he made sure would stay in place with his telekinetic powers.

"And would you look at that! Looks like we have a clear frontrunner now, folks!" Present Mic cheered, "Eon's Quirk seems perfect for this event!"

"Well, into the breach, as it were." Momo bent her legs, ready to take off.

"OUT OF MY WAY, EXTRAS!" The green and slimy Bakugō roared past them, completely ignoring the rules, and flying over the stones.

And then the ' 3' meme sounded, and water cannons rose out of the murky waters, blasting Bakugō. "OH, FOR FUCKS SADBFDHSUGBU!" Bakugō was interrupted as he tried to dodge the streams, but there were too many of them. He got blasted into the pond, and the streams immediately cut out as he rose, sputtering, "FUCKING BASTARDS!" He steamed, his face visibly warping with rage, his eyes huge and pulsing.

A loud buzzer sounded, before Present Mic came back on, "And that's the first of many surprises for any naughty listeners! Blast, back to the beginning of the Sinking Stones for you!"

"What?!" Bakugō snarled, realizing he had to swim more than halfway across the pond to get back to the start!

"Well, that answers that question." Momo said, before leaping. She landed on one stone about ten feet away, and sighed in relief as it was solid. She easily jumped to the next, chanting, "guess right, guess right, guess right," under her breath.

She didn't, and the fourth stone sunk on her. She yelped as she fell forward, snapping out a command to her costume to enable the armor on her stomach. She landed hard on the next stone, hacking out as the air was forced from her lungs. "Ugh, I love you, Meli. That would have hurt without the costume upgrade." She pulled herself up onto the next stone with a wince, deciding to keep her armaments up on her stomach at least. She created a long pole, "Should have done this from the start!" She chided herself, using the pole to jab each stone, revealing which ones would sink and which ones were solid. She quickly finished the event, leaving Inasa behind.

Up in front, Izuku had almost deadpanned in despair as he realized what the next event was, "Are you kidding me?!" He glared at the sign which had a 'helpful' arrow pointing at a mud pit and in fact proclaiming that it was a mud pit. "Screw it!" He heard the announcement for whatever had happened behind him! He'd risk it since it wasn't a disqualification! He levitated over the mud pit, walking on top of it rather than inside of it.

"Hmmm, does that count?" Present Mic turned to Aizawa, who was slouching.

"I will allow it." Aizawa said, getting some snickers as he unintentionally memed.

"Yes!" Izuku cheered, running on the mud at a much faster pace now to get to the end.

And then a dodgeball smashed into his head, knocking him to the floor and making him faceplant in the mud. "You are in the mud." A robotic voice helpfully proclaimed.

Izuku rose out of the mud, absolutely covered in it, and an angry look on his face, "Yeah, I kind of got that!" He snarled, "Ugh, it smells so bad! Damn it, I got distracted by the sign!" He looked up, paling under his unwanted facemask as he saw dozens of dodgeballs falling from the sky. High above, a legion of drones was dropping them.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Present Mic was laughing his head off, "We never said this was JUST a mud pit! Welcome to the Pit of Despair!"

"Shit!" He tried to dodge, but the mud was just so thick that he was stuck in it. He shielded himself with his Quirk so that at least he wasn't getting smacked by the bouncy balls as he muscled his way through the pit.

…

Back in the Forest of String, the other students were furiously trying to find a way through. Not only did they have to deal with swinging logs, goo cannons, actual water cannons, and many other types of traps, but Yui's blockade was holding strong. "SO UNMANLY!" Kirishima ran as fast as he could with his body hardened, but merely crashed into the strong wall.

"Damn it Yui! Couldn't you have waited for us?!" Tetsutetsu snarled, trying the exact same thing to the same result: getting knocked on his ass. "Kiri-bro, can't you cut it? Your Hardening can be sharp, right?"

"It's too tough!" Kirishima got up but tried anyway, "There's some sort of metal inside. I can't get through."

"I can't either!" Kamakiri reported, trying to slash it to pieces with his scythe and merely getting some small tears and some sparks.

"Kero, come on, Kiri-chan." Tsuyu snagged the redhead with her tongue and leapt, vaulting both of them over the wall, whereupon Kirishima landed hard and cheerfully got to his feet.

"Thanks, Tsu!" He high fived the girl as they continued forward.

"Brute force will not win the day here." Ibara had her hands clasped in prayer as she grew her hair out, snagging the top branches of some trees and using them to lift herself up and over the obstacle.

"Indeed. The abyss will claim us if we do not move forward." Tokoyami said as Dark Shadow did the same, getting him up and over.

"…I really don't get him, Kami-kun. Do you?" Kinoko asked her boyfriend, not noticing that Kuroiro was glaring at the blonde.

"…Not really. Bit too edgelord for me." Kaminari laughed sheepishly, hugging the girl.

"Same." That got a depressed flinch from one of her classmates.

"Why are you fraternizing with this 1-A trash, Komori-san?!" Monoma asked, looking rather maniac as he got in her face, "We should tie him up and leave him! There's already too many of them ahead of us! How will we show 1-B's super-"

"I don't care about that." Kinoko bopped him on the nose a little harder than needed to shut him up, "You're way too into this dumb rivalry stuff, Monoma." She sniffed as he recoiled, "And only I can tie up my boyfriend, so shoo!" Kaminari blushed a bright red at her words.

"Baaaabe!" He let out a whine.

Kuroiro stalked away and merged with the barrier's shadow, simply going under it. "I'll get you, asshole!" He snarled under his breath, "You better hope we don't face off in the tournament!" The jealousy was strong inside him.

Shishida straightened his glasses, before transforming into his Beast Form. He growled as he charged at the wall, his claws snagging the material. He was easily able to climb up.

"He's got a good idea." Itsuka smiled, "Better not get too ahead, Inasa." She mumbled under her breath, enlarging her hands, and climbing as well.

"BOING!" Manga jumped and used one of his onomatopoeia to hop over.

"Let's go, Kin-chan!" Kaminari picked Kinoko up bridal style, getting a happy grin from his girlfriend, and was ready to jump when Pony stepped forward cheerfully.

She lowered her head, and that ball of yellow light started to shine between her horns. The blast of energy erupted, burning a hole through the strong material, and also triggering a bunch of traps ahead of them. Several people who had gotten ahead yelped in shock as the beam passed.

The rest of them stared blankly at the wall. Tōru looked at the hole blankly, before turning to Pony, "Why didn't you just lead off with that?!"

"Ehehehe…" Pony giggled sheepishly.

…

Up ahead, the second wave had reached the Sinking Stones, "Oof!" Camie rasped as she fell in much the same way Momo had, though with much less speed. "Ugh, this event sucks."

"Seems fine to me!" Setsuna cackled as her feet and only her feet touched each stone. The rest of her floated above them.

"Hmm…" Yui hummed, stepping on a stone near the edge. And then she grew it. And grew it. And grew it. "Hm!" She smirked victoriously as her long stone touched the other edge of the pond and she cheerfully walked across it.

"Long boi!" Mina cheered, hopping behind her, "Please don't drop me, Yui-chan." She grinned, skipping along the long rock behind the quiet girl.

"Won't." She replied, before growing a side of the rock out to Camie, who gratefully got on it and was shrunk back toward the main section of the rock.

Todoroki was beside them, but simply froze his way across, taking quick, calculated steps and melting the ice rather than leaving any behind.

"Hmm, time to test these out." Melissa said, typing on her OMNI-tool. She put her boots on their highest sensitivity settings, before taking off. She quickly ran, having memorized which stones looked iffy from previous crossers. "Thanks, Set!" She hollered at Setsuna, who saw what she was doing and had launched her hands forward, pressing down on each rock ahead of the blonde.

"Welcome!" Setsuna grinned, "Honestly, this would have been great for a prank, but I'm not that mean."

"And now I'm paranoid." Melissa shot back, laughing. The girls reached the end, with Yui canceling her Quirk's effect and sending a bunch of stragglers who had caught up and started using her long platform screaming into the water. They ran for a minute or so, and then froze as they reached the mud pit.

"No…" Setsuna said flatly, and then glared at Todoroki as he ran across it on his ice, "Jerk! Freeze some paths for us!" She shook her fist at his back as he was melting the path shut behind him.

"This is SO not hot, fam!" Camie whined, and they stopped paying attention to Todoroki, and therefore didn't see the falling balls since he had moved very fast. "I don't mind getting dirty, but this is too much!"

"You have GOT to be joking." Mina was holding her nose, "Don't suppose you can shrink the mud, Yui-chan?"

"Nope." Yui was visibly unhappy as she stepped into the mud. "Ugh." She complained, letting out a disgusted shiver as she sunk in.

"Remember what Present Mic said." Melissa told them, "There's some sort of trap here too."

"Does there have to be?! I'm already in despair just smelling it!" Setsuna complained, walking on top of it.

"Don't complain! You're not even getting in!" Melissa growled at her, feeling utter disgust from the thick mud now pressing into her bits. Thankfully that was as deep as it got for the entire pit.

And then the ball beaned Setsuna in the exact same way one had beaned her boyfriend. "ACK!" She splashed, getting yelps from the other girls as the mud hit them. She gasped and coughed as she pulled her face out of the mud. "OH, FUCK THIS AND FUCK YOU, U.A!" She screamed, slapping the mud off her face, and spitting it out desperately.

"RUN!" Mina screamed, trying to force her way through.

"HOW?! WE'RE KINDA STUCK!" Camie dodged back to avoid a ball, and let out a disgusted moan as the mud splashed onto her, "WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO SMELL LIKE SHIT?!"

"Less talking, more moving!" Yui growled. The U.A. teachers better be prepared for her wrath!

Safely in the stadium, several teachers shivered.

…

Izuku finally reached the end of the mud pit, and he used a full body burst of psychic power to rid himself of the foul-smelling stuff. A ring around him had splatters of it, and he allowed the full-body shudder to race through him. A crackle of lightning and an odd slurping sound heralded Momo's arrival, as she slid to a stop next to him. "Murder isn't heroic, but the teachers are asking for it." She hissed, trying to get the mud out of her costume, before giving it up as a bad job.

"Where's one of those stupid water cannons when you need one?" Izuku snarled, using his power to help get most of the mud off his girlfriend.

"Ugh, what will be next?!" She asked as the two took off, squelching as they went, "And WE BETTER GET A SHOWER BEFORE THE NEXT EVENT!" She screamed at a camera.

"Uh oh! It sounds like Izanami picked an appropriate name! That sure is some death radiating off her!" Present Mic shuddered, "Don't worry! There won't be any more mud pits!"

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better!" She snarked, glaring at the next obstacle: The Mystery Door Bonanza! It was a wall absolutely littered with doors that went on for about three hundred meters wide and a hundred-fifty tall. "A million yen says there's a goo pit behind one of them."

"Even if I were to take that bet, I don't have that kind of money, Momo." Izuku couldn't help but laugh, "You're supposed to bet smaller amounts!"

"…I did though." Momo pouted, "I thought I got it right!"

"…How much is one pound of bananas worth?" He asked, a grin on his face.

"One pound? How much could it be? Ten thousand?" She asked cluelessly.

Izuku faceplanted and started to laugh, "Never change, Momo!"

"Mouuu, come on! How much is it?!" She helped him to his feet.

"About 320 yen." He replied, eyeing the wall as she gaped, mentally going through some existential-crisis-causing math. Before she could say anything else, he interrupted her, "Come on, we're wasting our lead!"

He leapt, picking a door that (he thought) looked promising. He grabbed the handles and yanked it open. "…" He stared at the boxing glove stopped by a psychic shield that was very close to punching him in the nuts. "Huh, so this is why Bakugō always swears a lot." He glared at the glove, "Fuck you, U.A." The glove retracted, and the door shut. He growled, and flew back, before picking another one.

Down below, Momo had also picked out her first door, and was sparking with One For All in readiness. The second it opened, and she saw the cannon, she dodged out of the way. A viscous green goo shot where she had been standing, covering the ground, "Oh sure, not a goo pit but a goo cannon. That's SO much better." She snarled under her breath as she stopped at another door, looking at it curiously. It was very clearly a fake door. Like a sheet depicting a door hung over the wall. She raised a finger and flicked, the air pressure blasting the sheet open and revealing what looked to be a path forward. She grinned, and jumped through. "…MMPH! MMPH!" She snarled as Izuku landed to join her, and blushed as he saw her completely wrapped up in shibari. There was even a gag.

"…How did you manage that?" He asked, and she turned teary, soulful eyes at him. "Come on then." He pulled her out psychically, snapping her bonds at the same time.

"I swear I've seen this show on the television before." She grumbled as she got free. "I no longer find it amusing."

"Yeah, this sucks." He watched in surprise as the hole sealed up, looking like a fresh door. "Come on!" The two took off, and after three more attempts, one of which shocked Izuku good, one of which was a painting of a path, and one which finally yielded the next path, they took off towards the next event. The canvas self-healed behind them, and as they looked back, they saw hundreds of trapped doors. As they approached the next area, they realized it was a completely gated area, with huge, solid fences separating another forest from the rest of the land.

"And our two frontrunners have finally reached my favorite obstacle of the day: the Trial of Balls!"

Momo snorted, "Does he even listen to the words that come out of his mouth?"

"Can't say it isn't appropriate." Izuku said, looking in interest at the hundreds of floating balls before them.

Present Mic ignored them, "Now, this one has a bit of a twist! Getting through the balls is not enough! Littered through this forest are dozens of little doodads! Each of you must collect one to be able to pass! The door at the other end will not open without one!" This created a double whammy. Not only were they trying to actively avoid the floating balls, but they also had to keep their eyes on the forest in general to find the items they needed. It was an extreme distraction.

"Oh, great, a scavenger hunt!" Izuku groaned, "I always hated doing these in school!"

"Come on. The quicker we finish the quicker we can find a shower. I hope." Momo added the last two words after a moment's pause.

"Right. Good luck, Momo!" Izuku took off, and she went off in a different direction. Izuku created his Psyblade again, and used it to poke one of the balls. "Flowers?!" he jumped back, but they were indeed just flowers. "…They're mystery balls, aren't they?" He had a sudden realization, "Hey, wait a minute!" He shook his fist at a camera, "YOU STOLE THIS FROM ONE PIECE!"

"What, the name didn't give it away?" Present Mic laughed, "Better get a move on!"

Izuku rolled his eyes. "Gee, I wonder how large this explosion will be?" He snarked, raising his hand and blasting an approaching ball. It popped and- "SNAKES?!" He yelped, rapidly jumping away from the angry animals. He turned and ran, trying to gently nudge a ball away so it wouldn't pop. And then he discovered that each ball had varying levels of sensitivity because his gentle psychic touch was enough to trigger the flashbang inside. "ARGH!" He howled, trying to blink the spots away and using his flames to heal his eardrums, "IF I GET TINNITUS FROM THIS I-"

In another section, Momo wasn't having much luck herself. So far, the exploding balls had unleashed the most disgusting fart in the world at her, attacked her eardrums with a really loud airhorn which almost had her jumping out of her costume in fright, and now had stuck her with some items resembling Mineta's sticky hairballs! "Ugh, I should have kept the gym uniform on!" She groaned, popping an expanding ring out of her stomach that formed a privacy screen around her so she could change into another costume quickly. She took off the old one and held it at arm's length before absorbing it, sighing in relief when the balls just dropped to the floor rather than sticking to her skin. She quickly formed another costume and sprang out of the privacy screen, and hissed as she saw that Todoroki had caught up already. "Shoot!"

Todoroki stomped on the ground, shooting some ice-spikes forward and popping a bunch of the balls at once, which did everything from exploding with a bright flash to spitting out cockroaches as they blew.

"Ugh! I no longer like this event!" Present Mic shivered, and several very vindictive students noted it with evil grins.

A glint on the forest floor due to the explosion caught his eye, and he raced forward. "Thanks, Todoroki-kun!" Momo yelled cheerily as she zoomed by and grabbed the item. It looked vaguely like a very thick wristlet.

"Hey, get your own!" Todoroki yelled at her, trying to chase the heiress, and quickly realizing it was never going to happen. Shaking his head, he growled, before raising his left hand and igniting it in flames. He was trying to find another wristlet quickly, but there was nothing. He growled and started running around with a fireball in his hand, trying to catch a glint. Unfortunately, he had gotten lucky with the first one, and had to spend quite some time searching before another glint caught his eye. He extinguished the flames and hurried to the trunk, yanking a wristlet of his own out. Steaming lightly, he started searching for the exit.

…

Back at the Mystery Wall Theater, Izuku's other girlfriends and quite a number of other angry students were trying to find their way through. Several other students had made it past the mud with much less issue. Kaminari had almost needed to forfeit before even getting there, with the Sinking Stones being a bit of a dangerous event for him. A quick word from Midnight that did not get broadcast had allowed him to go around the obstacle, with the cameras picking other targets to keep that weakness from being revealed on TV. At the other end, he'd been forced to sit and wait for five minutes as a penalty. Still, it was funny watching some other students get tricked by the 'sinking' stones, which had catapulted them to the side and into the murky waters. He nearly pissed himself laughing over that asshole Monoma getting flung.

In the mud pit, Tokoyami had practically surfed on Dark Shadow, much to his relief. Kirishima had proudly waded through, calling it a manly trial. Inasa had simply formed an air wall around him, forcing the mud away. Kaibara had tried to drill his way through the mud, and had succeeded for a few moments before he ran out of steam and the mud had rushed to fill the gap, trapping him. Katsuki had again attempted to just blast his way above the pit, and this time was paying much more careful attention. He had actually succeeded this time, making it past the pit (and the snakes of mud trying to grab his ankles to drag him in) in record time. He then tried to just blast through the Mystery Wall Theater, and had pancaked himself on one of the fake doors.

So far, Kirishima and Tetsutetsu had both tried to simply break through doors and had planted into the hidden concrete behind them. Tsuyu had found a fake path that she had believed to be good, and had gotten three other students stuck in netting. She had barely managed to struggle herself free before the others fell in, fooled into thinking she had found a good path. Melissa had found what she had thought was another good path and ran about a meter in, before the blackness surrounding her revealed the truth and she fell three meters down, screaming, into a deep pool. Only then did the room light up, revealing a fake path. This ended up being a blessing though, and she hurried to get as much mud as possible off of her. She laughed as Mina had followed her in and had fallen just as the lights had come on.

"This might even be a bit fun if they were all like this!" Mina said, half cheery and half furious as she and Melissa quickly got the mud off of them. They proudly did the climb of 'shame' back outside, not furious anymore as they were able to get at least a little clean, "Hey!" Mina called, "Set, Camie, Yui! There's a pool in this one! Come get that crap off!"

"Oh, thank fuck!" Setsuna practically threw herself in, followed quickly by Yui and Camie. They were losing ground to other students for sure, but frankly, they didn't care. Ibara and several other girls quickly followed them.

Finally, Tsuyu found a good hole, and the crowd of students hurried to follow her… if they could climb up two stories vertically, of course. Slowly but surely, they were making their way through the obstacles.

…

Momo just barely beat Izuku to the exit gate, wearing the wristlet. At the gate, there was a little section for her to stick her arm through, and the device read the wristlet, removed it from her so it could not be reused, and then opened the gate. Izuku had his own wristlet, but tried to fly through anyway just to see what would happen. A red light flashed, "STOP, OR FACE DISQUALIFICATION." A loud, robotic voice chimed, and Izuku froze, stopping in place.

The door shut, and he wiped some cold sweat away, "Guess they weren't messing around with this one." He mumbled, presenting his wristlet. He was scanned through, and grinned as he saw Inasa hurrying to the door as well.

He flew hard, catching up to Momo and high fiving her, "This first event seems much more involved than previous years." He couldn't help but muse. They had to be getting near now, so he felt that they were in the home stretch.

"Maybe they needed to up the difficulty since we have so many powerhouses?" She mused back, "I mean, just in our class alone, we have you, me, Yoarashi-san, Todoroki-san, and the jerk."

He chuckled, "Good a reason as any." They stopped, gaping at the huge canyon before them, "Okay, where in the world did they get this one?! Did they have All Might punch the ground repeatedly?!" Indeed, there was an enormous gap, with large ropes strung along the way.

"In fact, we did." Aizawa deadpanned for them, using the private command for the intercoms, and they goggled, "A waste of his time for the day. How illogical."

"Bah, the big guy had fun!" Present Mic waved off the complaint, "He asked to blow off some steam after not being able to help the kids on I-Island." He switched off of private before Aizawa could retort, "And here, ladies and gents, we have the next event! The Grand Canyon! Not to be confused with the one the yanks have!" He enjoyed the smattering of laughter that erupted from the stands. "And here, our brave contenders have a few options! You can tightrope across, which is either the fastest or the slowest method depending on your balance, reflexes, and dexterity. You can swing down or even just jump down to a lower level and climb up, which is MUCH slower unless you're a fan of recreational bouldering. OR… you can try the first and fall down anyway, in which case, yeah, you're climbing up, baby! Oh, and if you pick option one and fall, it's penalty time! No using your Quirks on the climb up!"

Izuku and Momo looked at each other, grinned, and took off running. The two picked different solutions, with Izuku choosing the balance game and Momo electing for the jump down. Izuku used his psychic power to run across the rope, keeping his balance easily. The rope really wanted to move under his feet, so he didn't allow it to. He held it steady with his Quirk, emerald engulfing it.

Of course, it wouldn't be U.A. without some tricks. Off to the sides, cannons erupted from the canyon walls, and started firing balls of various sizes at him. "Woah!" He casually backhanded a dodgeball away, losing some of his focus and wobbling on the rope for a second. "Ugh, always with the ruses, huh?"

"Live by the logical ruse, die by the logical ruse." Aizawa was grinning, "Get used to it, kid."

"Already am! You guys are getting predictable!" Izuku stuck his tongue out at a camera, and got the surprise of his life when the next dodgeball exploded before it reached him. "Ack! It was just a joke!" He yelled as he fell, snagging the rope with barely two fingers. "You guys suck!" He climbed back up and took off with much more speed than before.

Down below, Momo was giggling at the banter. She couldn't hear what her love was saying, but she could imagine. She had jumped and purposefully missed the netting designed to catch any students that fell. There was no way she was going to lose time getting tangled up in all that. There were some tiny gaps where the students were supposed to climb down after being caught safely, and all of the ropes were far away from those gaps.

She hit the ground running and sped through the canyon ground like a red lightning bolt. She hit the other end of the wall and leapt almost up to the netting, catching the wall more than halfway up. She quickly climbed, making massive leaps that likely would make recreational boulderers cringe in fright.

The rest of the students who had already made it through the forest were catching up. Inasa mirrored Izuku, running across the rope and using his wind both to keep himself steady as well as to easily deflect any balls away as they came.

Bakugō arrived next, screaming his head off like normal. He was even more furious than he usually was for multiple reasons, chief of them being that Izuku was anywhere in the vicinity of being in the lead, and also the fact that he looked extra crispy. In the forest, one of the balls had popped on him and created a cloud of flour. He had exploded like normal… and the aerosolized powder had detonated in a very unexpected explosion, charring him.

"DIE!" He howled, blasting away any balls with his hands and propelling himself across the ropes with his feet. Every time he landed, the rope wobbled an extreme amount, and he almost fell over a bunch of times. Some quick explosive work with his hands steadied him, and he blasted off once more.

Todoroki had taken a while to find another wristlet key after Momo had gotten to the first one before he could grab it, making him glare at her shrinking back now. He didn't bother with the rope, using his ice skillfully to create a slide between the netting gaps. He slid forward, gravity pulling him along and creating a large amount of speed. The slick surface minimized friction as much as possible, and then the ice in front of him started inclining up. Grinning slightly, he ignited his left side, his fire erupting from him and creating even more speed. The ice behind him was melting quickly as he skated up the ice created in front of him. Finally, he reached the apex and leapt, jumping over the canyon wall, hitting the ground, rolling, and starting to run as he got back to his feet.

"Woah!" Present Mic had stars in his eyes, "That's one way to do it! Man, Frozone might need a new name! What a badass!"

Off in the crowds, Endeavor had a look of sheer rapture on his face as he saw his son using his flames again. In fact, he was so excited that everyone was giving the man a wide berth as he roared his son's name to the sky, his own flames bursting unconsciously from his body.

"Oi!" Miruko kicked him in the side, "Quit it, asshole! You almost burned my hair!" She glared at the number two, who turned a dark glare at her. She scoffed, "Got something to say, bitch!?"

"You…" Endeavor clenched his fist, before abruptly parsing what she had said and looking around. He didn't blush. That wasn't something he was capable of. (Blatant lying.) But he did turn around and stomp away in embarrassment over his loss of control.

…

The rest of the kids started to catch up, but they all knew there was no catching the leaders. Honenuki was easily able to invalidate the Trial of Balls, swimming underneath the ground like a landshark and finding a wristlet during one of his breaches for air. Kyōka had easily blown the balls up or just away from her with her Quirk and registered support gear. Tsu had taken to the trees, where the branches were more likely to pop the balls away from her. Her long tongue came in clutch, being able to grab a wristlet without even returning to the ground until she was at the exit gate. Setsuna had kept her feet on the floor and the rest of her in the air. Ochako had floated from tree to tree, getting increasingly green and having to take breaks here and there. Kaminari had sniped any ball before they could get close. Kinoko had formed two big mushroom shields to deflect the balls away. Ibara had formed a thorny cage around herself with her hair, walking calmly but quickly through the forest, allowing all the balls that approached to detonate far away from her. Itsuka had blown them away with swings of her big hands. And so on and so forth.

As they started reaching the canyon, Kaminari had grinned, finding himself a rope that was actually a braided metallic wire. He leapt on and ignited his electricity, flowing it through the wire. He was off like a shot, electrically skating on the wire to the other end with quite a bit of speed. His girlfriend had been a fair bit behind, and when she got there, she made a shroombrella and gently floated her way down to the bottom level. She then realized she had made a grave mistake because she had to actually climb back up, and that just wasn't happening with any degree of speed.

Itsuka had taken the ropes, and her large hands were great for balancing. She easily made her way past. Tsuyu was also in her element, climbing the rope on all fours and swinging to dodge the dodgeballs. A few she kicked away, revealing her powerful legs. One of the balls she actually kicked so hard and so perfectly that it destroyed the cannon that fired it. She actually got a fair bit of attention from an unexpected source because of it. Ochako had used her Quirk here, getting across easily with a few running jumps.

Melissa easily used the ropes, her costume's internal gyros helping to keep her balanced on the rope. Her Sentinel Shield got a workout, blocking the dodgeballs. Her spear easily sliced some of them in half, though she also had something of a grappling hook attached to the rope. She was right to do so, since one of the balls exploding knocked her off, and she was able to climb back up. Camie and Mina both showed off their amazing dexterity and bodily control, running across the ropes at full speed and not losing a beat. Setsuna again used her splitting to cross quickly, putting a foot on a rope, flying ahead, and then just recalling her foot at the other end. Yui poked the rope, turning it from a rope to a massive bridge that gave the middle finger to the square-cube law by not collapsing under its own weight. She casually ran across, before shrinking the rope back to normal size. She looked quite smug as she heard screaming from a couple people who had tried to use her Quirk to their advantage.

Monoma was being smug like usual, using Tsuburaba's Air Wall to block incoming dodgeballs. Unfortunately for him, he was a little too smug. He had insulted various students from 1-A in particular, like usual, and they were out for some petty vengeance. Sero grinned, shooting a strand of tape at Monoma's rope. He grabbed it once it was attached and started pulling and shaking the tape. "WHAT?!" Monoma started to lose his balance, "YOU 1-A TRAAAAAAAASSSSHHHHH!" He screamed as he fell to the netting below.

"Don't be a jackass next time, jackass!" Sero pulled his eyelid down, grinning madly, before continuing on.

It was a race not for first place, but to just determine who would be able to go on to the next event. They still had no idea how many would be allowed, though they were guessing that the heroics classes would all get in, along with some stragglers from all the other classes.

…

"And we're to our last obstacle, folks!" Present Mic cheered as they reached a legit small mountain. There were many paths up the mountain so that there wouldn't be a huge bottleneck, carved into the rock and even padded for safety. "Weeeelcome to the Mountain of Glory! Your objective is simple! Climb to the top as fast as possible, and slide down the other way!"

"Bullshit." Izuku deadpanned, glancing at Momo.

"Agreed."

"Boulders rolling down the slopes?" Inasa landed next to them.

"Even U.A. wouldn't be that cliché, right?" Izuku asked, before they each picked a path and started the climb up.

Spoilers: U.A. was, in fact, that cliché.

"Oh, come on!" Izuku yelled as the first bounder appeared, rolling down quickly towards him. He spotted a little nook and dodged into it, not wanting to know what would happen if he was hit. No doubt there were more surprises than simple boulders. And then the wall of the nook slammed into him, forcing him back into the path with a surprised shriek. The boulder hit him, and he stuck to it like it was made of glue. "AAAAaaaaAAAAAaaaaaAAAAA!" He yelled as he rolled down the slope, disappearing under the rock multiple times. He reached the bottom, eyes spinning, and finally tore the boulder away from him. He glared at the slope, eye twitching, "Ah, so this is how Bakugō feels all the time."

"AAAAH!" He watched as Momo flew out and landed rather hard. He quickly hurried to her with some healing flames, and shook her head woozily, holding onto him with a sigh. "I formally request that the next event be fights with the teachers!" She snarled as she got her wits about her.

"DENIED!" Present Mic came on, laughing his head off as Inasa came tumbling down, trussed up in something Momo was vaguely certain could only come out of medieval horror stories.

"HAH! EAT MY DUST, LOSERS!" They watched as Bakugō came screaming through, blasting his way up the slopes. They all smiled, watching in anticipation as the first boulder came. Bakugō did as he always did, and exploded his problems. He aimed to crack the boulder into dozens of pieces and just blast through it. Well, he certainly cracked it alright. In fact, the ball detonated with such force that he was launched off the mountain, screaming. The explosion was far bigger than he expected, and he crashed next to the other fallen competitors, groaning. His hair was even more puffy and wild than usual.

"Enough of this." Izuku snarled, grabbing his tie. Momo's costume had ripped a bit, and she reached into her slightly exposed cleavage, pulling out a sword with an angry look on her face. They both took off for round two, this time using slashes from far away to cut through any oncoming boulders. Izuku had an easier time of it, being far more practiced with this type of attack than she was.

He made the summit first, and a blessed waterslide was waiting for him. He vaguely thought that the whole obstacle might have been based off Reverse Mountain. He leapt into the water, letting it wash off much of the leftover grime from the mud pit. He slid down the mountain, and he could see the destroyed city in the distance. Soaked, he quickly used his Quirk to wring the water off of him as he ran. He blazed his way to the city's massive gate, and slapped his hand on the big red button with a grin. Immediately an air cannon shot confetti into the air, declaring him the winner of the race. He put his hands on his knees as he panted, basking in his victory.

In the stadium, his mom was shooting tears from her eyes like twin fire hydrants. She had needed a paper bag to help keep her from hyperventilating multiple times, and she accepted a tissue from Toshinori, who was sitting next to her. "He won! My baby won!"

Toshinori laughed, "Was there really any doubt?" He smiled at the screen, "Still, there were some excellent showings! Let's see if he can keep it up."

"GO IZUKU! WIN IT ALL, BABY!" Inko cheered, standing up and trying to will her voice several miles to her son.

Present Mic kept the hype train rolling, "And 1-A's president has done it! What an incredible showing from start to finish! No, even before the start! Talk about going Plus Ultra! Even after that incredible show of regrowing his arm, the Cosmic Hero: Eon still had enough in the tank to be the first contestant to make it to the second event!" The crowd cheered loudly, chanting Izuku's chosen Hero name. Present Mic allowed it to go on for a few seconds before a dark, ominous grin crossed his face. It was one mirrored on Nemuri and Aizawa's faces as well, "Which starts right now!"

There was the beat as the entire crowd went silent. On camera, every student froze, and their eyes widened in shock. They gaped as they and the audience parsed the announcer's words. With a single cry, one word shook the campus, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

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Boom baby!

Hope you all enjoyed! I kept the first event the same while also making it completely different. Hope you all liked all the Wipeout and Most Xtreme Elimination Challenge references! I had a fucking blast writing this. Was almost dying from laughter several times!

The second event will be completely different obviously, and the theme for it is more Hero than Sports. This IS supposed to be to get scouted, after all.

Ya'll were wondering when I was going to give Izuku his arm back? Well, it was when I could maximize impact, of course!

Super happy with how quickly I banged out this chapter. All told, it only took me a week. Wish I could do em faster, but I just don't have the time. Someday, baby. *wink*

September's update will be Quantity of Quirks, though I MAY do a second one in the middle of the month. Haven't decided quite yet. IF anyone wants early access to all future content, you can find me on PA~TRE~ON!

And now for something completely different! Thanks to the Sinful for this omake!

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Omake:

"Racers, to your positions!" Midnight yelled, having swiped some sweat off her forehead. Nezu cackling was never a good thing. The spell was broken, and they all got ready, facing the access tunnel. There was a traffic-light looking thing with the red lights flashing, "Ready," one of the lights vanished, "set," another vanished, "GO!" The light turned green.

Later, Izuku would attribute his actions to seeing through UA's "logical ruses," or attempting to save energy after regrowing his arm. But honestly, he fell victim to the same trap people had for thousands of years: He had a thought and followed through before considering things. And so, rather than run towards the tunnel like everyone else, Izuku teleported to just outside Training Ground Beta. There was a big red button outside the gate, and he cautiously slapped his hand down on it. Immediately, an air cannon shot confetti into the air, declaring him the winner of the race.

"Problem Child…" Aizawa groaned, muffling it with his hands. Most of the faculty were now thinking that perhaps they should have just openly banned circumvention rather than simply implying consequences for doing so.

"Well…" In the announcer's booth, Present Mic coughed nervously. "Shit." Still, there was nothing for it now. They had already set up the second event and agreed on the format. Down below, Nemuri couldn't help her internal wince when she thought of how big a target Mr. First Place had just painted on his back; it'd probably be visible from the moon. Present Mic gave a helpless shrug to his old friend and co-host before shouting into his microphone, "And 1-A's president has done it! Talk about going Plus Ultra! Even after that incredible show of regrowing his arm, the Cosmic Hero: Eon still managed to be the first contestant to make it to the second event! That's definitely a record!"

Up in the stands, Inko and Toshinori goggled, amazed that not only had Izuku just gone for it like he had, but that he apparently wasn't being penalized like had been implied. The pair started loudly cheering, twin geysers flowing from Inko's eyes, even as the rest of the audience tried to comprehend what had just happened.

The crowd began cheering, though admittedly, their hearts weren't fully in it given how… boring, the victory was. In his personal booth, Nezu cackled manically as Present Mic's grin turned sinister, "Which starts right now!"

The hundreds of other students, who had all paused in their jockeying for position to hear that someone had already won the race which had just started mere seconds ago, now stared at each other in pure horror. The audience too fell silent at the announcement, with even Inko and Toshinori freezing up from where they'd been hugging each other. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Outside Training Ground Beta, Izuku cringed. Yeah, he was in so much trouble.

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LMAO