In a lonely bathroom somewhere in California, a tragedy was about to unfold.
The red M&M stood looking at himself in the mirror, tears streaking down his face. He couldn't take it anymore. It just had to stop.
He tied a long rope around the ceiling fan and tied a noose. He was ready to end it all.
He stood on a stool and began to attempt to fit his head in the hole. He had to make it quick before his roommate Yellow got back from his job. He didn't want to be caught in the act.
However, he had found considerable trouble in actually fitting the noose around his neck, as his body was more of a sphere than a regular human body. This made Red ponder the anatomy of an M&M's candy, but he was determined.
He made a rough fit of where he figured his neck would be and kicked the stool out from under him.
He collapsed onto the floor after the noose fell off of him and hit his head on the bath tub on the way down, causing it to bleed a little. Red passed out for a while.
It wasn't until Yellow had come home until Red was discovered. Red woke up on the couch, with a concerned Yellow by his side.
"Red, are you OK? What happened?" Yellow asked Red.
"Uhhh, Oh yeah! I was just trying to clean the tub when I slipped and his my head..." said Red, while feeling the stained bandage over his head.
"Oh yeah? Then explain why I found THIS in the bathroom beside you!" said Yellow, holding up a noose in front of Red's face. Red wasn't a good liar and cracked pretty easily.
"All right, I admit it! I just can't take it anymore, the humans, the fear, the chocolate!" said a panicked and anxiety riddled Red.
"What do you mean Red?" said Yellow, who was a bit slow on the uptake.
"Those humans just can't leave us alone! They're always trying to eat us all the time! They always have terrified me, and could never understand why they would try and eat us. I started cutting due to my depression and that's when I made the horrible discovery... Our blood is made of delicious chocolate! I couldn't help myself, I swear I could've bit my own arm off and eaten it right then and there! That's when I knew I had to end it all and give the humans what they desired and what all of M&M-kind secretly desire too." wept Red.
Yellow lifted Red's bandage and got a taste of Red's chocolate blood. To nobody's surprise it was delicious. Yellow was mortified.
"Y-you're right... Oh my god you're right!" shrieked Yellow, beginning to have a panic attack. This did not help Red's condition either.
"There's no way around it bud... it's almost like we were made for being eaten." said Red.
"What can we do? Is there anything that can be done?" said Yellow with a heavy breath.
"The only way that humans could possible not what to eat us is if we tasted horrible." said Red.
"Like if we were poison or something." said Yellow. Suddenly an idea shot into Red's head.
"You have you're moments of brilliance Yellow. I got an idea that will get those humans to stop eating us." said Red.
However, in order to carry out Red's plan, there needed to be a sacrifice. A self sacrifice.
"Are you sure this will work?" said Yellow.
"Of course. When we drink the poison, our bodies will become toxic to eat. Our dead bodies, like all other dead M&M's, will be put in those bags for human consumption. When one of them eats one of us, they'll get sick and die. Then, no human would want to eat us!" said Red.
Red then pulled out to glasses of punch laced with cyanide. He took one and handed the other to a nervous Yellow.
"Red... I'm scared." said Yellow.
"No time for fear. Remember, this is for the greater good. Every M&M will praise us for our sacrice and God with give us our reward in Heaven." said Red.
After Red's words of motivation, they both drank. It wasn't long before they began to choke and sputter, with foam at the mouth. The pain was intense and horrible, but they endured because they knew that what they were doing was right.
As expected, their bodies were dumped into a pack of sweet M&M's along with many others, but the rest of their plan turned out poorly.
On person ate the poison M&M and died. The packages were recalled however, and Yellow was never eaten. In addition, due to good PR, the people that had been shaken by the scandal were soon calmed back down.
The people still ate M&M's, and the M&M's themselves still feared the humans. Perhaps it was fated that M&M's were to be eaten. Nevertheless, Red and Yellow's hopes of societal upheaval against the humans had failed.