zelos
Arc II - Part 24
by myka
Beta: naaha
A/N: Less than a month between chapters :) I'm so happy people still remember this fic; thank you for the lovely comments.


-

It feels like forever. These few seconds.

My hands grip Schuldig's jacket tightly and I close my eyes. The switchblade presses against my throat so hard that I can't even speak. I wait. Wait for death by my lover's hand. When I came here to look for him, this was the last thing I expected. It hadn't even crossed my mind. Schuldig forgetting. Forgetting everything we went through. Forgetting how we fell in love. Forgetting me.

"I love you."

Please wait…

"Goddammit!"

Schuldig moves quickly. The switchblade makes an awful noise as it slides across the floor.

I open my eyes. The expression on Schuldig's face is unreadable. My hands tighten even more around his clothes.

"Schuldig?"

"I can't-" he murmurs and leans forward until our foreheads touch. "Why can't I kill you?"

"I…" What should I say? His skin is so warm, his eyes lost. I open my hands, releasing his jacket, and slowly wrap my arms around his waist. "Once, you told me it didn't matter what they thought. Even if we were suppose to hate each other, it didn't matter."

"I would never say something so cheesy."

I smile and resist the urge to pull him close. He needs to know more. But what? He's stubborn enough to reject my memories as figments of my imagination even when he knows better. I need to show him, something he can see and touch, something he can't reject, something that's just about us.

I lean forward and let my cheek gently graze his. "You have a scar," I whisper softly. "On the left side of your stomach. It's a thin line yet still visible. Here…" I say and touch the spot where the scar is. Schuldig stares at it for a moment before gazing up to meet my eyes again. "I have the same mark."

Schuldig turns his head towards me and blinks. "Show me," he says.

I do. I pull my shirt up and expose the bit of imperfect skin, waiting for some kind of reaction but getting none. I turn around and show the matching mark on my back. Schuldig's fingers linger as they trace the scar slowly.

"A sword," he finally says.

"Yes," I answer. "A katana."

His fingers poke gently, pushing, discovering. "I want to know." I barely hear his whisper before I feel the prick of his power inside my head. I know he's searching for the particular memory and I bring it forward. Schuldig heightens it and I can almost feel it as if it is all happening again. How I wouldn't let go of him, the warmth of his body, how he felt in my arms. Droplets of blood falling, soaking the floor, and how much it hurt when I thought he had died.

I face Schuldig and can almost read the look on his eyes. A mixture of confusion and anger.

"I can't..." he mutters and shakes his head.

"Schu-" I reach out to touch his face, but he moves away, avoiding my touch. "Schuldig, please." I try again, leaning in close for him to see me. But he keeps his gaze away, swats my hands away.

"I can't do this."

"Look at me, Schuldig."

He stops for a moment and I finally run my fingers across his face and tilt his head up so that our eyes meet. "I love you."

He glares and slams his fist against the wall, startling me. "I've been ordered to kill you," he says angrily, leaning closer. "If I don't do it they'll get rid of me." His mouth hovers above mine and I take the next step. I pull him to me, closing that last space. This kiss is not like the last one. There's nothing frantic about it; this time it's slow and hungry. Different and familiar. He wants to remember. I pull him closer still, deepening the kiss. "Schuldig," I breathe.

I see his throat tightening and he chokes something back. I quickly realize what it is and run my fingers across his face. "Say my name, Schuldig. Please."

He pauses and matches my gaze. I briefly kiss him again and he opens his mouth, but suddenly his face twists and he grabs my shoulders and shoves me back. I blink, sure that the brief moment of panic shows in my eyes.

"They're coming," he says and moves away. My eyes turn to the switchblade on the floor, but he steps over it, ignoring it. He crosses the room and clicks at something near the opposite wall. The wall opens, swiftly moving aside to reveal a hidden passageway. So that's how he got into the room. "Go!" he yells at me. My legs remain frozen on the spot, as I try to think. Before I can realize what's happening he's back at my side, pulling at my arm, pulling me forward towards the passageway. "Hurry! Leave!"

"What about you?" I turn to face him. "Come with me. We'll get your memory back-"

"No!" He cuts me off. "I have to stay here. I need to figure out what's going on."

No… "I can't leave you! Please come with me, I'll help you! Even if you don't believe me, please trust me, I can show you-"

"I believe you."

"Schuldig…"

"It'll be all right, I'll just tell them you double crossed me."

"Schu…"

"Go!" He grabs my arm again and pushes me toward the passageway so hard that I stumble, landing face down on the floor. I hear the screeching of the wall's system and turn to find it closed.

"Schuldig! Open up! I won't leave you here, Schuldig!"

"Follow the passage, there's a window in the next room. Just go! They will hear you if you stay."

"I won't leave without you!"

"Please, Yohji. Please."

I groan deep in my throat and bang my fist against the wall. "Look for me. I'll wait. If you don't come I'll return for you." I force myself to step back, turn around and run. "Please look for me."

The window opens easily with just one push; I wait for an answer. Come find me. But none comes as I throw my wire to a post across the street and jump.