What if?

Summary: Based on the none canon episode, 'Barthood'. After 'Camping' with his son. Homer forgets Bart at the motel. Thinking nobody cares about him, Bart turns himself in as an abandon child.

I do not own the Simpons.


"DAD. WAIT!" 5-year-old Bart Simpson yelled, as he saw his own dad Homer Simpson drive away.

He ran out of the room, only to trip and fall.

Oh, who was he kidding?

This weekend was supposed to be a weekend where it was just him, his dad and the outdoors.

He dreamt of three glorious days where his dad gave him his full attention and there was nobody around to compare him to.

They were going to fish, make a campfire, sleep under the stairs just like the movies.

But reality was much different because Homer was Homer.

Instead they spent 3 whole days in a motel near the outdoors, his dad did nothing but drink beer and watch television.

He really tried to pretend he was outdoors but even he know his attempts were pathetic.

Everything he had ever done was outshone by his more brilliant little sister Lisa and he was constantly been told by those around him that he would never amount to much because he had a learning difficulty.

The only one who actually made him feel like he mattered was his grandpa but he didn't get to see the man often, in fact his family was drifting further and further away from the man.

And the man wasn't getting any younger.

That man was the only one who did not constantly compare him to Lisa.

"Excuse me" Said, a woman, from above. "Are you alright?"

He turned around to see the nice woman at the desk, she was a girl in her late teens perhaps, 18 or 19 and she had blond hair in a pony tail.

"No. My dad just left me" He said.

The woman gasped and said. "Do you know the address to your home. Perhaps your dad just forgot you."

They could call the police and he would arrive back him safe and sound.

However, the thing was.

Bart did not want to go back.

He didn't want to go back to the place where no matter what he did he was always outshone by his little sister.

He didn't want to go back to the place where his own dad cared more about food then spending time with his own son.

So, Bart said something that changed his fate forever.

"I know my dad's not coming back" He said, "I heard my mom tell my dad to take me camping. My dad doesn't care about me. Nobody in my family cares. In fact, the only one who cares about me is my grandpa"

"Oh" She said, he was an abandon child than?

"But if I go with Grandpa. He'll just send me back" He said. "And I really don't want to go back. Please don't send me back."

She can see it in his eyes that he was begging her.

In her mind, she envisioned his parents as brutes who would hurt their own flesh and blood.

We'll she wasn't actually wrong because in the future, his own dad would be known for strangling him.

"My own dad calls me 'The Boy'" Bart added with sad eyes, "Why is it that every other parent calls their kids by their names?"

She actually shed a tear and said. "Have you eaten yet?"

He shook his head.

"Come with me." She said and Bart took her hand.

He was taken to a lunch cart for the staff and the other workers did not mind shearing their food with him, while one of them called Child services.

The police came and they weren't Clancy Wiggum and his Sergant Lou, both of them could not police this far out.

So, Police officer Eddie and Van Zuylen came to get him.

They both smiled gently when they saw him and helped him make sure his bags were all packed before showing him to their Police Car.

"Cool!" He said, it was the first time he had ever been in a police car before.

"Hey, Kid. Do you want to sit in front?" Van said.

"Can I?" He said.

"Sure" Van said.

Van motioned for Eddie to get out from his seat and Bart moved to the front, while Eddie sat at the back.

Bart could not believe it, suddenly his weekend did not feel so terrible.

Then the car turned on and drove away.

Little did he know that his dad would be forced to come back for him in the middle of the night once his wife pointed his disappearance out and would not allow him thirds unless she sees him.

Bart was driven to an unfamiliar town that was next to Springfield called 'IceCrown'.

Just from the name alone, Bart thought this was a cool place.

He stared out of the window at all the people who were gone about their day and the car stopped at a large building.

They all got out and walked up the steps, where Eddie pressed the doorbell.

Soon footsteps were heard and the door open to reveal a kind looking woman in a long pink shirt and green jumper.

Her eyes immediately want to him.

"Do you have room for one more?" Van said.

"Of course, we do" She said, "No child is ever turned away"

Then Bart was motioned to come in.

He saw that the inside of the building was much larger than his whole house and there were way more kid's as well.

"Tag. Your it!" Said, one girl.

"No, tag your it!" Said, the same girl.


They were twins!

The two saw him stare and suddenly had a mischievous look on their faces as they jumped him and said. "TAG YOUR IT!"

However, Bart was only 5 so he immediately went to chase the two around the place.

The two police men told the woman what his name was, since they had asked in the car.

And as they stood at the same time, forms were being created to put his up for adoption.

The Simpson were soon going to get a very unpleasant visit from certain people like a phycologist who would ask about their eldest child and deem the house not a good environment for him after a week of Evalution.

At the end of that week, they would be told that they had lost custody and if they wanted to dispute it, it would be done in court since Bart has expressed no interest in coming back.

Bart was soon shown to the room he would be living in for hopefully a small amount of time.

There was only one other person there and he went by the name of Peedee.

The boy was not that much older than he was and he had blue hair like Milhouse but he seemed a lot cooler.

"Want to play with my action figures?" Peedee said.

"Oh, sure" Bart said.

And the two played with Power ranger toys all day.

When he was hungry, Peedee showed him to the kitchen where he could ask for anything even a giant bowl of ice cream.

Bart thought he was in heaven.

However, it wasn't long before Bart slipped into his old habit of making trouble just to get attention.

Any attention was good attention for him.

So, he got an empty bottle and filled it with toilet cleaner before adding Aluminium foil into it.

He placed it onto a table and stuck the words 'broccoli juice' on it, making sure no kid would want to come near it.

It was at dinner that the bomb finally went off.

The bottle exploded spraying the whole room with the stuff.

Kid's cried and he laughed.

And none of the adults around him could do a thing.

He just got worse and worse.

To the point the other kids practically lived in fear of him.

He even drove away Parents who were willing to adopt children and the adults had to bribe him to stay in his room whenever those people came around.

However, nobody actually expected, that Bart would ever be adopted.

It was one day, when he had been bribed to stay in his room that he went out to go to the toilet.

Like did he know that he would run into a young couple, when he was going back.

"Oh and who is this cute little guy?" Said, a man with square black glasses, black flame like hair and in jeans and a T-Shirt.

"I'm not cute!" He said, "My name is Bart"

"We'll 'Bart'." Said, the women whore a Chanel suit. "What do you like to do for fun? Do you like getting down and dirty?"

And Bart thought that was a weird question.

"I like lunching stuff from the window" Bart said, "And I like making bombs and drawing. I like pranking people"

The worker who was with them thought they would turn around.

It wasn't a secret that parents came in to adopt sweet children, who were like angels.

Bart was...

We'll Bart.

"We'll, have you ever shot a pig out of sling shot, before?" The man said.

Bart shook his head and said. "No, sir"

"Your missing out" The man said, before bending down and whispering. "And the best part is. You get to make a bunch of people mad."

"Cool" Bart said, he was liking this man.

"This boy is alright" Said, the woman. "How would you like to come with us?"

Both Bart and the Worker were shocked.

"What, really?" Bart said.

"Are you sure you want him?" Said, the Worker. "...I can show you some lovely twins"

"We don't want to see anymore kid's" Said, the man. "What we are looking for is a child who has guts and isn't afraid to take risks. We don't want Sun shine and Rainbows."

And Bart slowly smiled, it was one of the nicest thing's anybody had ever said to him.

"So, where do we sign?" Said, the man.

Bart was then told to pack his bags as the man and woman want downstairs and signed at least a dozen forms.

Bart came down, just when they about to finalise the paper work.

"What's the hold up?" Bart said.

"We're just wondering if you wanted to keep your last name or adopted our name" Said, the man.

"That depends. What is it?" Bart said.

"Badman" Said, the woman.

"So, it's Bart Badman, it is!" He said, "It's so much better than Bart Simpson."

And then they wrote his new last name and Bart was led to the car that was waiting outside.

Hours later his original family would find out that he had been adopted.

The car he saw, was like the old car his grandpa drove.

"Hey, Bart. Do you want to drive with me?" Said, the man.

"But isn't that dangerous?" Bart said.

"I'm a race car driver so it's my job to drive dangerously" Said, the man.

"COOL!" Bart said, as he followed the man into the driver seat and sat on his lap.

The woman sat beside them and smiled as she watched before them start the engine before Bart pretended to drive the car.

It was just like when he was with his Grandpa.

They drove to a fairly upscale part of town and the house they stopped at was far more impressive than the Simpson's home.

He walked out and gapped.

"I know it's impressive but don't you want to see the inside?" Said, the woman.

He walked with them to the front door and the man got the keys and opened the door.

He was stunned by the Luxurious interior, clearly a designer had been in here, but what he noticed the most was the large trophy case, that did not have trophies that were brought for 10 dollars just to look more successfully than they actually were, like the SImpson home.

"Do you want to see your room?" Said the man and Bart nodded.

He followed the man upstairs while the woman went to kitchen to start cooking.

Bart was taken down a corridor to a plain looking bedroom door but it had the words 'Child' engraved at the top.

"Sorry" The man said, "We didn't know what gender we would end up with" as he opened the door, to reveal a plain large room with a plain bed and desk, however, there was a wonderful balcony attached to it.

"We'll, this is your new room" Said, the man. "We can decorate it later. And I have to say, me and my wife, are really glad to have you here. We've been looking for a year but nobody stood out like you. I can't wait to get to know you Bart as your new father" he rubbed Bart hair affectionately.

Bart was shocked.

The only one who rubbed his hair like this was Grandpa.

But this wasn't Grandpa.

This was a dad...

A much thinner, well-groomed dad.

Bart smiled and said.

"I would like to know you too. Dad"

Bart was looking forward to having a Dad who was not Homer.

And scene!

Next chapter, Bart wakes up to a new family who actually seems to care about him and he is soon put through a learning test performed by his new mother who notices that Bart actually isn't stupid like he believes. If you want the next chapter, Review/fav and follow!