Author Note: Merry Christmas

I do not own The Simpsons.


When you shame the most feared kid in school, you go from an average kid to the most talked about kid in the whole school.

Bart felt pretty good right now surrounded by kids looking at him in awe.

"Wow, you just defeat Nelson" said, a blue haired kid.

He blinked.

"Who are you and what's wrong with your voice?" said Bart.

"My name is Milhouse Vanhouten" said, the blue haired kid, before he said in depressed. "My voice is probably the result of my parents being related"


"Ewww" said, practically all the other school kids, including Bart and T-Rex, who took a step back.

"I know" said, Milhouse. "I'm not very popular"

"Bart, he's a whole new kind of Loser." whispered T-Rex in his ear. "Let's bounce"

However, Bart said. "Don't be rude. He didn't ask to be born." before he said. "Do you have any feelings other than what is socially acceptable to have towards other family member?"

"...If I say no, can I hang out with you guys?" said, Milhouse.

"If you say no and mean it, I'll take you to the candy store and you can pick anything you like tomorrow and I'll give you one or my old pairs of trainers." said, Bart.

Suddenly Milhouse yelled. "I'M NORMAL AND I LIKE GIRLS UNRELATED TO ME!"

It was best to cut this off when they were young.

"Great. Walk with me" said, Bart.

"Okay" said, Milhouse.

And everybody opened and closed their mouths.

Did he really just make friends with Milhouse, of all people!?

"He's not judgemental at all" said, Lisa very surprised. "And if Milhouse can get in. That means there's hope for me as well."

5 minutes later, the bell rang and everybody went back inside.

However, the other school children didn't dare go back inside after spending an hour in one of the classrooms, instead they decided to do class outside, while the Springfield students watched enviously through the window.

"Man, this school blows." said, T-Rex, updating his social media account. "I can't wait to see the Trainwreck at Lunch"

Even Bart felt a phantom cringe coming on at the thought of what they could be serving.

If the classroom looked that shabby and old, then he couldn't imagine what they must be serving to the kids, it made him appreciate just how lucky he was that the people he called his parents could afford to give him a better chance in life.

They were taught about nature, until the bell rang for Dinner.

When that bell rang, the contrast between Springfield Kids and IceCrown could not have been more apparent in that moment.

Springfield kids rushed to the Cafeteria like they were animals who were given the bare minimum of food and in some cases, it wasn't food at all.

While Icecrown, walked calmly to the cafteria, most had their phones out to snap the Trainwreck that would be before their eyes.

Bart went more out of curiosity than a need to eat because his mother had been nice to pack him an envious lunch.

"Okay, IceCrown kids, you go first." said, Principle Skinner smiling wildly while treating his own students like secondary class people.

Bart frowned; he didn't like this man.

He joined his school, while feeling that crazy lady that touched him before stare at him, while he went in.

It wasn't long before the first meal was served.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Shouted one girl, followed by the sound of a tray being dropped on the floor and then she went out and said. "Don't bother, its gross. The Lunch lady touched it with her barehand and I have never seen a more shocking piece of mash potato, in my life"

She then made a phone call and started exaggerating what she had seen to the person at the other end.

Some students walked out on the spot hearing what the Lunch lady was doing, while others were more intrigued to see just how bad the food was.

All the teachers couldn't help but look nervous, there was a lot of students who had very wealthy parents, any hope of a 'donation' was dying before their eyes.

All they could hope for was for one of the kids to take pity on them instead of leave and never think about them again.

Bart came into the hall and every section was shocking to the boy who spoiled by his celebrity chef of a mother almost his whole life.

The Mash looked blend and watery.

The Sausages didn't even try to appear like decent sausages.

Pees that had purple spots visible in certain places.

Ham that was slightly green with flies hovering around it.

Even the water, was not really clean, he could see a dead grasshopper corpse in it.

The Lunch lady noticed him staring at the water and blocked his view with a block of tissues, while Bart could hear the snapping of T-rex phone beside him.

"I'm writing. I can't believe this is what passes for food at Springfield Elementary" said, T-Rex. "I wouldn't eat here even if you pay me a million buck" before he said. "And Post"

And Bart couldn't even reprehend him, he recognised that the rest of the world had to see what a school was deeming acceptable to serve to children.

With this push, the health inspector would probably show up tomorrow.

He looked at the Lunch lady and saw to his horror, she really did use her own unwashed hands to cup the gone off food and put it on the plate, he wasn't sure was cleaned with actual soap.

"Yeah...I'm not paying for this" said, Bart, before he took out money from his wallet and said. "Take these 50 bucks and we can forget this whole thing ever happened. This should be more than enough to cover whatever this is, this is clearly not food."

And when the Lunch lady saw his money, her eyes went wide with shock and so did the kids already in the dining room, she immediately pocked the 50 bucks and said with a smile nobody had seen her do in years.

"Would you like me to pop down to the corner shop and get you something?" she said.

"No. My lunch is better than anything that could be around the corner. Why would I want anything that isn't guaranteed to taste and look good?" said, Bart before he walked away.

T-Rex gave the woman money to get her hands away from his line of sight and both of them walked away.

"Wow, did you see that?" said, Super Intendent Chalmers. "I've never see a kid throw money so easily like that before in all my years of teaching. Who is that boy, Skinner?"

"I believe his name is Bart Badman, sir." said, Skinner. "His parents must be insanely wealthy. That boy is probably worth a fortune or is going to be worth a fortune one day"

Both of them wouldn't have believed that Bart Badman was the same boy who pulled pranks for a week or two some years back and just vanished in his mischievous ways.

Bart was about to walk out when he saw Lisa, a girl he had pity for immediately at first glance.

Nobody was sitting next to her; she wore a necklace of ugly large pearls around her neck and her dress looked like it had been cut from a bedsheet or cover.

"You" he said, and Lisa looked up in surprise. "Walk with me."

"U-Ur, okay" She said, getting up and following a bunch of kids, that were way too cool looking for her.

They went to a bench outside and sat down.

Lisa had died and gone to heaven, as she realised she was at a table filled with popular kids.

"So, what's your name?" suddenly a voice draw her out of her fantasy.

"Huh, what?" she said.

"What's your name?" said, Bart.

"Lisa. Lisa Simpon" she said.

Lisa? Thought Bart, something about that name sounded familiar but he couldn't remember why.

"I'm Bart Badman" said, Bart, before he pointed to T-Rex. "This is T-Rex."

The guy was on his phone.

"Oh, like a nickname" said, Lisa.

The guy slid his eyes away from his phone and said. "No, that's my actual name"

"Oh." said, Lisa, getting the sense she had blow it with this guy already. "What a fun name..." she laughed nervously.

Bart continued to introduce her to other kids on the table that she wouldn't be in their eyesight normally.


Bart opened his food and the moment that lid went off, all of them were hit with his mother latest creation for him.

The smell carried upwards to the teacher lounge.

"What is that delicious smell?" said, Edna as she peered out the window only to be shocked to see it came from Barts lunch.

The group of uninterested kids were suddenly interested when the smell hit their nose.

"That smells and looks good. How come you always have the best lunches?" said, a guy.

"Its because his mom is a chef." said, T-Rex.

"If my mom isn't here to make me a delicious lunch, I could just heat her left overs and call it a day" said, Bart, waving his specially designed sandwich that had been pressed and the works.

He enjoyed the hungry looks he got, before he bit down on it.

Delicious every time.

He turned to Lisa and said. "What have you got?"

Suddenly Lisa looked nervous as she snapped out of how delicious his food smelled.

She looked around and saw everybody at the table had awesome lunches.

"Ur, Um. I have a couple of Apples, maybe some carrots. Its hard to make lunch for me I'm a Vegetarian" said, Lisa as they all looked at her, before she added. "However, it's all imported from a really expensive country" telling a white lie.

However, all of them could smell the bs from a mile away.

"Please. It would have been better if you just right out and said your food was crap. We can all smell your BS." said, a girl who looked too popular for her.

And just like that Lisa deflated.

However, for some reason, Bart didn't like the sight of her looking so down and lonely.

Suddenly Lisa blinked when something was placed in front of her.

It was a salad, given to her by Bart.

"The Rench dressing is fresh and organic and there is absolutely no meat in it" said, Bart. "If you're going to be meat free, you got to at most enjoy it."

Lisa eyes light up, while the rest looked shocked.

He never shared his lunch!

"Oh, thank you Bart" said, Lisa rushing to hug him, only for him to knock her hands away,

"What the hell? I only let a very small group of people hug me and you don't cut it" said, Bart. "I barely know you"

"Oh, uh, well" she said, he clearly didn't remember her and how would she bring up if he was adopted or not?

Even she know it was way out of line for a complete stranger to ask you that.

The whole table once again descended into silence.

Lisa chewed the salad and it was fantastic, in fact it was the best Salad she had ever tested.

Never had she had Lettice and tomato's so fresh, and never had the salad dressing exploded with such flavour in her mouth like it had done today.

And he ate this kind of quality of food every single day?

She couldn't imagine what it was like waking up to be him.

Lisa eventually finished everything and the silence could finally get to her once again.

"...So" she said, strumming the table. "Has anybody read any good books lately? I find the books by American Novelist Herman Melville, quite delightful and fun"


Cold har silence.

Suddenly Bart got a text from T-Rex.

'A Bookworm, really? At least the other guy was kind of fun'.

Even Bart had to admit, she was bad.

However, Bart decided to break it off gently with her instead of everybody moving away from her.

"Lisa" he said, getting her attention. "Do we look like we read books? We all have the latest phones on the market and at best, we read Fanfiction or looked at an online magazine article. Recess exists so that we kids can get a break from school because it sucks for 80 percent of us. Which is the majority of kids on the planet. Now if you were forced to go somewhere for 6 hours, 5 days a week doing something you didn't enjoy and had to spend your precious time, to do something so that you can pass it. Would you talk about it unless you had to?"

Lisa was silent, her eyes went wide and her mind opened up as somebody finally made sense to her.

"My god, it's like me and Gym" said, Lisa. "I wouldn't want to play Gym 6 hours a day and I don't want to be forced to run around in my spare time. I wouldn't want somebody talking to me about Dodgeball or Sports if that was the case."

"Exactly" said, Bart, getting the feeling he was given her the holy grail.

"So...what do you guys like to talk about?" she said.

"Shopping" said, the girl. "Hot actors."

"Hot actresses" said, a guy.

"Cool places to go to, that are currently Trending." said, T-Rex.

"Any place that I can see things getting blown up and not get hurt" said, Bart.

"That is pretty cool, as well." said, T-Rex.

And then the bell rang ending lunch.

"Well, that's it for today, Lis" he said, as she did a double take.

Her name was shortened by somebody cool and not Milhouse!

She watched them walk away, with a tiny smile.

And they were here for a whole week!

Neither group saw each other for the rest of the day and Ice Crown kids were being loaded onto their bus before the bell even rang, because nobody wanted to stay.

Bart's ride pulled up as he stood on the grass and when he opened the door, he saw that his grandfather was driving.

The door closed behind him and the old man began to drive.

Yes, he was deemed suited to drive now.

"I feel so young again being behind the wheel. Having money to breath some life into these old bones is great" said, his grandfather, before he said. "So, did you meet anything interesting at the school? I couldn't help but notice the awful state of it. A true Pig Stein."

"Nobody, really" said, Bart before a girl popped into his head for some reason. "Well... except for one"

"Oh, boy or a girl?" said, his grandfather.

"Some girl named Lisa Simpson" he said.

The moment that name was out, Bart was shocked that his grandfather slammed on the breaks, turned around and yelled.


And Scene!