It has been almost a month since I became a vampire. Simon has been helping me control my powers and bloodlust, while I've been avoiding the others. I didn't want to hurt them and the last time I saw them I almost killed Clary. I've been hiding out at Simon's trying to cope with everything I had done. I'd killed people and I was gonna have to deal with that.
Since that night, I've been moping around and not talking much. I'd done a lot of horrible things and I could still hear Dot's dying breath. I couldn't sleep at night and half the time I wasn't hungry. In a week's time the last day of the month will happen and I will need to kill. I don't know if I can, let alone live with myself afterward.
What makes things even more difficult is Simon's ability to walk in the sun. After he was healed by Jace, Simon could tolerate sunlight. I on the other hand am stuck in the boat house, hiding from it. He can have his life back while I'm stuck in the shadows. This making me even more down in the dumps.
I was sitting on Simon's couch as he sat down next to me with a cup, "Carly, you need to eat. I know you're hurting, but starving yourself isn't gonna change that. Please, eat. For me."
"I can't Simon, I just can't." I said getting up as he grabbed my hand.
"Carly, you haven't eaten in days. You need to get your strength up." Said Simon
"I don't want to keep my strength up, Simon. I have done horrible things and I can't sleep because of it. You try to help and you do, but that doesn't change the fact I'm a monster. I might not be killing now, but in a week I will. Dying now prevents that." I said
"Dying? You want to die?" Asked, Simon, as he set the glass down and stroked my cheek. I liked the feel of his touch when I was sad. It made me feel little better, but I didn't want to feel better. Not today.
"Dying now means I don't go dark side again. I killed enough people when I wasn't a vampire, now that I am one it could be worse. We don't know what is gonna happen. Once I kill, the darkness might fade for another month or It might backfire and then I'm stuck like that. I can't do that again, I won't." I said pulling away from him while grabbing my jacket.
"Where are you going, Carly?" Asked Simon
"I'm going to go get a drink. Just leave me be, please. I need some time to be alone." I said closing the boat house doors behind me.
Instead of using my speed, I walked. The night air was crisp as I made my way through the rain. Downtown was only a few blocks away and since I couldn't feel cold, the rain didn't bother me. Feeling the cool drops hit my skin was peaceful and the scent of moisture was thick in the air. I loved it so.
As I walked I also smelled humans as they strode by. I could hear their hearts and the blood pumping through them. I hadn't had blood in a few days so going out near people was not one of my better ideas. Hopefully alcohol would numb the hunger so I could mope in peace. I stopped in front of the Hunter's Moon and slowly made my way inside.
I chose a bar stool closest to the back door. If I saw any one I knew I had a quick exit. I took my seat and ordered a whiskey on the rocks. I was only 17, but this bar served the supernatural; not really caring about age. Besides, vampires couldn't die from alcohol poisoning so it didn't really matter.
I got my drink and stared down at the melting ice. I got halfway through my drink when someone sat down next to me. I recognized the scent, looking up at Jace. I noticed no one else was with him so I relaxed, he I wasn't worried about.
"How was Clary's ceremony in Idris?" I asked keeping my eyes on my drink.
"Professional and organized as most events in Idris are. You should've been there." Said Jace
"Downworlders can't get into Idris, remember? I'm not even allowed to enter the Institute anymore. Even if I wanted to, which I didn't, I wouldn't be able to get through the wards. Seeing the ceremony would be impossible." I said chugging the rest of my drink as I ordered another.
"You should've at least called. She's been worried sick about you. If I found you here she has the right to be. Especially since it looks like you aren't eating. When was the last time you had blood?" Said Jace
"I can eat and not eat when I want to. Which is my business and mine alone. Did you come here just to guilt trip me? Because I am not in the mood." I said taking another sip.
"No, Clary doesn't even know I'm here. I just thought you might want the company." Said Jace
"Why are you really here, Jace? You helped Clary kill Valentine and Jonathan, shouldn't you be happy? Not drowning your sorrows? I have reason to hate my existence, what's your excuse?" I asked
"I'm just tired, I haven't been sleeping well since I returned from the fight. I've been having nightmares, very realistic ones." Said, Jace, swirling the alcohol in his glass.
"Does Clary know about these nightmares?" I asked
"No. I've been telling her that I've been staying up late and working hard. I don't want to worry her after all the good that has happened the last few weeks. I guess we both have problems to drink away. Don't we?" Said Jace
"Yeah, I guess we do." I said as we continued to drink.
Ever since Valentine died, the demons who came from the hell hole vanished. Magnus closed it up so they couldn't have left. They were still in the city, but where? Where could they have gone and why were they hiding? I had been asking myself the same questions for weeks, but I wasn't getting any answers till now.
I was making my rounds when my phone rang. I was hoping it to be Carly, but instead Luke was on the caller ID, "Hey, Luke. I'm kind of busy right now, what do you need?"
"I think I found one of your hell hole demons." Said Luke
"You did? Where?" I asked
"There was a report of a dead woman outside her home. Her neck was cut from ear to ear with a jagged weapon. At first, I thought it was a normal murder, but then I noticed black capillaries around the wound. A witness says they saw her husband do it, but he looked 'evil.'" Said, Luke, reading the report.
"Are you sure it wasn't your average demon? They like to kill and torture all the time." I said
"Clary, this was definitely not a normal demon. I know what a normal demon kill looks like and this wasn't one of them. Something bigger and badder did this. I was hoping you could accompany me to find it. If we find one, we might learn where the others could be." Said Luke
"Let me grab my blade and I'll meet you at the crime scene in 5 minutes." I said hanging up on Luke. I grabbed my blade and my stele. I informed Alec where I was going and then I made my way to Luke.
As I walked, I kept thinking about what I did for Jace. Keeping the wish a secret was tearing me apart. The less people who knew the less chance the Clave would find out. I knew it was dangerous so I kept my mouth shut. Even if it meant lying to all my friends.
I arrived just as Luke was finishing cleanup. This cop was blasting him with questions and he shooed her away. The woman looked at him with determination as she went off to her squad car. I got closer and went invisible so no one would suspect anything. Luke noticed my presence and stood up from his crouched position.
"Who's the woman?" I asked
"Her name is Ollie. She's my new partner and she's asking questions she shouldn't be asking. Ollie somehow knows I'm a werewolf and she's asking about other creatures in my world. I keep telling her she's insane, but she won't back down. It is getting on my nerves." Said Luke
"I'll help you deal with her after we find this demon. Shadowhunters have few tricks up their sleeves, plus we have Simon, Magnus, or...Carly." I said with a sad expression.
"She still hasn't contacted you?" Asked Luke
"No and it worries me. Last time we saw each other she almost killed me. I have a feeling she's moping and blaming herself. I just want to talk to her and make sure she is okay. Simon said she doesn't want to talk, but maybe I do." I said
"Well, after we find this demon go and talk to her. If you show up she'll have to talk or at least listen." Said Luke
I got closer to the body recognising the signs of a demon kill. As Luke stated earlier this was no normal demon kill. Nothing I had ever seen. I used a tracking spell on the residue showing me the path the demon went. It wasn't strong, but it would get us where we needed to go.
"This way." I said as Luke followed me down an alley.
We walked down the alley toward the south side of town. Luke and I continued swerving through the streets until very few humans were nearby. After searching through the area the tracker led to an abandoned church. It hadn't been touched in years; except by spiders and their webs. It was an eerie building, perfect for a demon to hide in.
Luke took out his gun and I prepped my blades. We entered side by side into the chapel. Benches lied a strewn and spiderwebs covered every surface. The building felt evil, like something poisoned it. It made me shiver.
We continued forward until a stone vase shattered on the floor. I looked from where it came and a man was standing there. Luke's partner appeared from behind a statue, pointing her gun at the man. The possessed turned around and threw Ollie across the room. I went to her side as Luke went full on wolf mode; attacking the demon.
They went at it for a few minutes until the demon was thrown across the room. The body hit floor and began to seize. Luke changed back and switched places with me. I got closer to the man as the seizing stopped. As it stopped he suddenly exploded into something new.
One of the demons that came from the hell hole crawled out of the remains of the man. It looked straight at me as it screeched. I began to call it names as it flew into the air. I continued to yell at it as I began to backup. It screeched again as it dive-bombed toward me.
I ran toward the front of the chapel, drawing a rune on my palm. I approached the front, turning around, and running back. I ran at it and slid underneath, finishing the rune as a beam of light shot out. It hit the demon straight on, causing it to sizzle and crack. The demon screeched in pain as it collapsed in a heap of burned flesh.
The building shook as if it felt the demon's pain. Luke picked up Ollie and I helped them out. We decided the best course of action was to split up; Luke would take Ollie to the hospital and I would head back to the Institute to report my findings. It was a step in the right direction in finding these demons and what the hell they were up to. Something didn't feel right.
After returning from the bar, I was glad to hear Clary was out on a mission. After having nightmares of killing her, I wanted to keep my distance. I couldn't take the chance of hurting her, I just couldn't. As I made it to my room, Alec noticed me and asked me to go to his office. I knew this wasn't gonna be pretty, but I couldn't avoid Alec forever.
After entering the office, Alec closed the door while locking it. I took a seat as Alec took one across from me, "How has Magnus been?"
"He's been down in the dumps since his title of High Warlock of Brooklyn was taken from him. I've been trying my best to keep his spirits up. So far I think its been helping, but he likes to hide his pain. Sometimes I just don't know." Said Alec
"He loves you Alec, just you being there is probably helping." I said
Alec scooted closer to me as he became more serious, "I hope you're right, but that is not what I brought you in for. We need to talk about what happened with Valentine. You are avoiding me and I need to know why."
"I'm not avoiding you." I said
"Don't lie to me, Jace. Ever since you almost died, you have been distant. Tell me the truth about what really happened. Tell me the truth. Did you die at Lake Lin?" Asked, Alec, crossing his arms over his chest.
"As I've said ten times, no. I didn't die at Lake Lin. I was seriously injured, but Clary saved me. That is all that happened. I promise." I said as Alec looked unconvinced.
"We have both been seriously injured before and neither of our runes disappeared. I felt you die, Jace. My parabatai rune was gone. Something happened that you aren't telling me. We are supposed to keep each other safe. How am I supposed to do that when you won't talk to me?" Said Alec
"I am not hiding anything from you. I've been busy and tired, that is all. Stop worrying so much." I said getting up from his seat and making his way to the door.
"Is it something else then? I know Celeste had a mental disorder and it can be passed down. Are you depressed? Do you want me to get you help?" Asked, Alec, as Jace turned around with anger.
"I am not mentally ill like my mother, okay?! I am tired and busy with work. Just because I'm not talking to you doesn't mean something has to be wrong with me. I'm gonna go look at the scanners. You stay here and do whatever it is you do, Alec." I said in a mean tone as I slammed Alec's office door.
I returned to the boat house feeling very lightheaded. Vampires metabolism was very high, but after all I drank being a little tipsy was my karma. I entered to find Simon sitting on the couch worried, but it wasn't just that. Something was off about him, something different. He noticed my weak stance and ran to my side to hold me up so I wouldn't fall over.
"Where have you been? I have been worried sick." Said, Simon, pulling me in for a hug.
"I was at the Hunter's Moon. I needed to drink my feelings away and that was the best place to do it. I didn't hurt anyone and I actually had a conversation with Jace so I think I did pretty well." I said slurring my words a bit.
"You must've drunken a lot if it's actually affecting you." Said, Simon, slowly setting me on the couch, "Why don't you rest for awhile and when you wake up, you're gonna eat. Even if I have to force feed you "
"You can try, but you won't succeed. Haha." I said as a smile appeared on his. He covered me up and helped me get comfortable.
"Get some rest. We can talk about it when you wake up." Said, Simon, as I grabbed his hand. He looked back at me and sat down back down.
"What... happened when I was gone? You seem... different...feel different. What happened?" I asked as his expression turned sad.
"I went to see the Seelie Queen. I made a deal with her when we were looking for you. If she helped me, I'd come visit the Seelie Court." Said, Simon, running a hand through his hair, "It started out with me playing a song. When I asked to leave they took me to the forest. They branded me with some mark only daylighters can possess. The problem is it vanished into my skin so I have no idea what it looks like."
I sat up and put my hand on his cheek, "I am so sorry. It's my fault you're in this mess and I should've been there. I just keep screwing everything up. I can't eat, I can't control my nature, and I can barely be your girlfriend. I'm so sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry for anything. I love you Carly and nothing is going to change that." Said, Simon, as he brought his lips to mine. We fought for control as our lips danced. We continued like this for several minutes until he let me rest. I remember smiling up at Simon as my eyes closed.
I sensed the shadowhunter and wolf as they approached. I hid back and examined their actions. The two and a human tried to fight my disciple, but two failed. The third killed him in a beam of light. Killing part of me as well.
I could tell by her scent that she was a part of Jonathan. She was the sister who mistreated him and called him a monster. Clary fairchild must be punished for her actions. She will soon, but for now I have other ideas. Quite so indeed.
As I thought of my plans my favorite disciple approached. He was much more powerful than the rest. He would win me this battle so my Jonathan could return. I need 32 disciples to complete my work and he will be the one to help me. Even if he doesn't want to.