This was written for writerdragonfly in The DG Forum Fic Exchange - Summer 2018 by a member of our forum. For more details, please visit our page.


Prologue

My life has become one of endless shit.

Literally.

Babies shouldn't even be called babies. They should just be called little shit-makers. That's all they do. Shit themselves and shit all over you. Did you know they can make that stuff projectile? Because they can.

And then there is the vomit. So much vomit. I swear the twins are having a competition to see who can expel the most disgusting things on me.

I must be insane.

How did I ever think I could do this? I know nothing about babies. I don't even like people.

Ugh. The twins are crying again. Guess that's my cue. You know, because this is my life now: Draco Malfoy, solo father to two crying little shit-makers.

I really must be insane.


Ky's Prompt #3

Basic premise: Draco adopts a child but finds himself needing a little help taking care of his new bundle of joy.

Must Haves: Humor, snark, and the attraction of Draco Malfoy with a baby. Ginny/Draco romance not strictly required, but hopeful for the future.

No-Nos: Cheating, child death, noncon. Otherwise, go wild.

Rating range: Whatever you're comfortable with. I'm an adult and read any rating.

Bonus points: Draco actually invested in learning how to parent instead of just getting a nanny. Draco knowing/having known the baby's birth parents. Twins, if you really want to knock my socks off.