Toon Wars Shorts
Warriors for Evil!
In Jimmy Neutron's lab, the Warriors for Hire finish helping the boy genius with the repairs to one of his many inventions!
Jimmy: Thank you, Warriors! It looks just like new again! Just how it should be!
Vambre taking off her goggles: No problem, Neutron!
Prohyas: Yeah! But what exactly is this thing? Almost all your tech is big and red like this one.
Jimmy: Oh, that's supposed to be the Super Coffee Machine. It brews and mixes all sorts of morning flavors, like French Vanilla, Dark Chocolate, Mocha, Mint. This way we won't have to go to the store for anything. Except to steal their cups.
Vambre: What was that?
The alternate future Anais comes from behind Jimmy with her usual fancy attire, mixed with some of Ashi's leaf-outfit.
Alt. Anais: Ah, Warriors. I haven't seen you since my timeline.
Prohyas: Oh hey, it's the pink bunny lady from that other place in history Momo told us about once!
Vambre: What are you doing out here?
Alt. Anais: I live here, dummy. You know I don't have a home. Jimmy here provided some rooms for us in the base.
Jimmy: Yep! Complete with perfect holo-reality lenses to make the room the way you want it. (Walks off) I might end up selling the tech, but I think the government has enough on my butt as it is.
Prohyas: So what was your timeline like for you?
Alt. Anais: Oh, it was luxurious for me, but not everyone else. I had many subjects do all the dirty work for me, unless I got bored and wanted a piece of action for a day, or they got too incompetent and I had to do everything myself.
Prohyas: No offence, but you kinda sound like you still do...
Alt. Anais: But the real kicker is that there were those who far exceeded my expectations and were highly loyal to me. Including you guys.
Vambre: WE were your subjects?
Alt. Anais: Yeah, totally! I offered to give you two all the money you needed to pay rent, but you all said you'd rather work for me full-time since there wasn't anything worth going to back home, except for your magiswords. So naturally, I wanted to test you and see what would happen if someone, oh I don't know, hid your swords for a day. Needless to say, it didn't go the way I planned.
Prohyas: Did we get lost trying to find them?
Alt. Anais: Well, let's just put it at that and call it a day. Besides, I didn't wanna have to put up with anyone who can't fight with more than just their weapons.
Vambre squinting: Heeey! What's that supposed to mean?
Alt. Anais: I mean, really. You think I would've found interest in hiring someone who's less likely to turn evil if it means a gimmick they like gets in their palms. It was the purpose the application.
Prohyas: Ok, now you're asking for it! We are definitely not like that! We'd never turn evil for a Magisword, nor do we ever rely just on them and them alone!
Vambre: Correct! BUT, there is a holiday starting in a mere few seconds from now where we can prove to you and everyone just how mean we can be when you test us.
Alt. Anais winking: Suit yourself. (Walks off wiggling her tail)
Prohyas: Shoot! That lady knows we can't live without our magiswords!
Vambre: I know. And she said we were the most loyal to her until she tested us to see how we would react if we ever lost them. (Shrugs) But that's not likely to happen again in our timeline, heheheh! ...Right?
Prohyas: There's only one way to know for sure. And ya know what that means!
Both V and P: Our Mischievous Day of Mischievousness has begun!
Narrator: Once a year, the Warriors for Hire spend a day doing the opposite of good for their entertainment. Instead of being heroes, they become the temporary Warriors for Evil!
Vambre: Now where do we start on our quest to be jerks to one another for a day?
Prohyas: Hm...I think I know a guy! Hey Goddard!
Goddard by the lab computer: BARK BARK!
Prohyas gets out his Narwhal Magisword and squirts water at Goddard, causing him to short circuit and explode to pieces! This doesn't last long when he quickly reforms magnetically in perfect condition wagging his tail at the two.
Jimmy coming back to the lab: Ah, I see you've tested out Goddard's self destruct mode for kinks. Good work guys! I've been wanting to try it out myself. I'd better go back to the garage and make sure his frame doesn't have any chips in it.
Goddard happily trots to Jimmy and they both exit the lab through the suction tube to the clubhouse above.
Vambre: ...That was, unexpected... But no matter! I have another idea!
WARRIORS FOR HIRE VS. DANNY PHANTOM
Back at Amity Park, Danny Fenton and Sam Manson sit in the Fenton Lab modifying their Ghost Hunting Gear with some of Jimmy Neutron's tech. When the Warriors for Hire come in, they're assigned to safeguarding some of the hazardous material in there.
Prohyas: So what exactly do you want us to look out for again?
Sam: Oh, just for any ghosts that don't come out the Ghost Portal. We caught some in this thermos earlier, and now we're worried they escaped when I confused it for my sports thermos. I bring it with me when I go coaching Casper High's gymnastics team.
Danny: In the meantime, we gotta go get a gift card for Tuck. Brb.
Vambre: Yes sir, Mr. Fenton!
As soon as Danny and Sam leave, Vambre and Prohyas give each other the devil's eyes and gleefully tip toe to the Fenton Thermos.
Prohyas: Heheheh. Oh they're gonna be so scared when they see there's a ghost in their soup. They'll Never see it coming!
Vambre: Actually brother, I think we can afford to expand our vicious idea just a little more. (Points to Ghost Portal)
Prohyas: If you weren't my sister, I would marry you.
Prohyas and Vambre trot to the Ghost Portal and pull down the lever that activates it, turning it on and spawning several groups of ghosts out of it. As soon as Danny and Sam hear it from above, they immediately run back downstairs to check out the noise while V and P continue to wiggle their fingers in joy.
Vambre to Prohyas: Great. Now all we need to do is leave them to their work.
Danny: You remembered it was Tucker's birthday?!
Prohyas: Wait, what..?
Sam: He's gonna be so happy when he sees this!
Danny: Hey Tuck, get down here! You've got visitors!
Tucker coming down the steps: Wha...?! Oh wow! You all came for me?!
Skulker: Why of course. If it wasn't for you, Danny here would have a hard time beating us with our tech at hand.
Technus: I would never have improved my junk if ya didn't always hack into everything!
Johnny 13: I wouldn't have learned how to use Excel just by watching you use it for Quantitative Reasoning when I was trying to haunt you. Now I've gotta read up on Algebra for Calculus again!
Tucker: Gee, thanks, I didn't think I was that big of an influence! It almost makes me wanna cry!
Sam: Thanks for opening the Ghost Portal, you guys. The thermos was one thing, but we totally forgot to tell you to turn on the tunnel again so we could surprise Tucker!
Danny: How'd you know it was his B-Day to begin with anyway?
Vambre: Um... We used our Birthday Detection, Magisword..?
Danny: Eh. Good enough. Say, since we're all here, anyone wanna book reservations at a diner? While celebrate there!
Everyone cheering: Alright!
Sam: What about you guys, V and P?
Prohyas: Oh, we have somewhere to be. You guys go ahead. (Turns to Vambre and winks) Because I think they just gave me a hint on what to do next.
WARRIORS FOR HIRE VS. SAMURAI JACK
Ashi is making tea, and Jack and Momo are just on their way back home from training outside with Scaramouche and Flora.
Ashi: Ok. So I think I got it. The instructions sounded a bit off to me, but I fixed them.
Vambre: You don't need a tea bag for this?
Ashi: Oh no. This is a way of making tea from scratch. Jack taught me this, but I never tried it and I wanna see if I can pull it off, cause, let's be real, my cooking isn't that good. But I have a thing for drinks!
Prohyas: What would you like us to do?
Ashi: I've gotta go use the bathroom. So you guys just stay here and make sure the water's not boiling over or anything. Ok?
Vambre: Ok, but what about the tea itself?
Ashi: Oh, I just use the leaves. They're right there for later.
Ashi calmly leaves the room and V and P check the leaves next to the sugar and other spices.
Vambre: Look at this assortment of sugars and spices.
Prohyas: Yeah. Be a shame if someone, messed with em...
The Warriors for Evil take all the spices and dump them in the tea, mixing them in and making sure to put all of the jars back perfectly like how they were before to make it look like they did nothing wrong. When Ashi comes back, Jack and Momo come in with her through the entrance.
Momo: Y'know, all I'm sayin' is I'm 15 and I understand the legal system better than someone like Timmy. He's only in his 20s for goodness sake!
Jack: Sometimes it takes a while to learn complicated matters such as these. Even for adults.
Ashi: Yeah, take me for example. I didn't know how to make tea from scratch until now. The water's good, right you two?
Vambre: Yes. Nothing went wrong!
Prohyas: You can just go on ahead and enjoy your drink!
Ashi getting mugs ready: Oh great! (Gives mugs to Jack and Momo) Here you go. This is my first time, so I dunno how it's gonna turn out.
Jack: I'm sure it will be just fine, Ashi. (Takes a sip)
Vambre and Prohyas squee in excitement for the reaction that's about to come from Jack.
Jack: Oh my..! Ashi...
Ashi: Yeah honey?
Vambre and Prohyas raising their arms: Eeeee..!
Jack: This is amazing!
Vambre and Prohyas lowering their arms: Aah..?!
Ashi in surprise: Really?
Jack: Yes! It is certainly better than anything I could make!
Momo projects a heart symbol with her antennae and Ashi smiles in confidence.
Ashi: Well, thank you! I dunno what I did, but for once I did something right!
Momo: It tastes like apple and lemon combined. And a plum.
Ashi: Oh, I guess that answers that.
Vambre whispering: This isn't working..! We need someone different. Someone who comes from somewhere unlike any of the places we've been to thus far.
Prohyas: The places we've been to are a lot more serious than anything back home. So why don't we go visit someone a lot sillier than that?
WARRIORS FOR HIRE VS. NICO-
Prohyas: On second thought, sis, maybe we shouldn't be messin' with her.
Vambre: I agree. I don't know what it is, but something tells me she'll kill us if she even breaths on us funny. Even if it's just involving her son. Anyway, our previous plans have failed, but I feel like we've just been dealing with the wrong people. We don't know much about them. What we need to do is mess with someone we know like a book.
Prohyas: ! You're right! And I know exactly who to mess with back home!
WARRIORS FOR HIRE VS. CATTUS THE ONE BLADE
The duo make their way to the top of a hill in a meadow on a nice sunny afternoon where Cattus stands by himself waiting on a certain someone with a blank expression, admiring the scenery.
Prohyas with binoculars: There he is! Not too far from this hill where he can't see us!
Vambre: Perfect! I can see him just fine from here! ...Wait. Why is he standing out there by himself? He isn't even wearing his armored attire.
Cattus hears someone coming behind him and turns to see who it is.
Cattus: Ah, there you are love! I've been waiting patiently for you to...
The One Blade is stunned when he sees Bimm nervously walking up to him in a beautiful new dress, almost resembling Professor Mabarnacle's. She still has her hat on, but she's wearing heeled sandals, a skirt that goes down to her feet, a flower on her ear, and a necklace with Witchy Simone's colors on it.
Bimm: H-hi Cattus. I know this isn't what I usually wear, but my Mother insisted I try it out for the day.
Cattus: And she has great tastes! You look positively brilliant!
Prohyas: Daaw...They're just on a cute little date. ...But that's not gonna stop us from achieving our day of mischief!
Vambre: Ready the tomato swords!
While Cattus and Bimm walk off further conversing over something, a barrage of tomatoes fall toward the two when they're not looking.
Cattus lifting his sword: And that's how I got this Magisword.
The Whirlwind Magisword releases a quiet wave when the unaware Cattus swings it back behind him for a moment, causing the tomatoes to fly back to the Warriors for Hire and drench them in red juice.
Vambre in tomato juice: ...
Prohyas in tomato juice: No fair...
One of the tomatoes falls near Cattus' foot when he walks by.
Cattus: Hm? Oh! I was hoping to pick one out the local garden for this occasion.
Cattus and Bimm continue their stroll while V and P refuse to quit and move up further to get their bearings behind a boulder.
Vambre: Fuss..! They're completely unaware, yet they're making this way harder than it has to be!
Prohyas: I think I've got another sword for it. (Takes out listening ear magisword) Let's take a listen.
The cute couple take a seat in the nice vibrant grass still chatting as the minutes go by.
Bimm: I never really did understand why we had to learn all the things we did in school, except for the fishing or sheering.
Cattus: It maybe because that's not what interests you. Maybe you have a knack for something else?
Bimm: Well, I did always consider photography and exploration, like out here. But I never had the chance to really express it unless it involved some sort of treasure or valuable sword. It's a really common trait for pirates these days now that I think about it.
Vambre: Ooh, I see. I believe I have two diamonds from the volcanic caverns to spare.
Vambre tosses both diamonds at the center of the group while they're not looking until they face downward and notice the gems sitting right in front of them.
Prohyas: Watch. She said she'd go treasure hunting like a pirate, so she might just take the gem for herself!
Vambre: Ohohoo! Wait till we see how disappointed Cattus will be when she refuses to-
Bimm: It's so beautiful! Cattus, you and I could split it and make rings out of it!
Vambre continuing her sentence: ...Share it...
Cattus getting the other diamond: And here's another one! But I think this one would definitely be best suited for you, my lady.
Cattus gently attaches the small diamond onto Bimm's earring, making her smile so vividly, it almost brings the brother/sister duo above to tears.
Vambre: Oh my... It's...it's just too much..! None of our attempts at ruining their day are working! But, they're just so cute..!
Prohyas: There's gotta be a way to make em' run or freak out...
Vambre: ! Yes! Cats are easily startled, so we make them the simplest way possible!
Vambre: No. Then it would just be like giving one to Gumball's Mother. We would have been in the clouds in less than an attosecond. I was thinking of something more...disruptive. (Looks toward the distant mountains)
A few minutes later, the couple are still sitting at the same spot admiring each other and the weather, when all of a sudden, they feel rumbling coming from across the field. They both get up and look calmly at the incoming herd of goats and rams, some being called what the land describes them as Lanolions, who've arrived from the cliffs to the meadow, all charging at full speed.
Bimm: Are those Lanolions?!
Cattus: Ah, and look at that! They're frolicking in their natural land! Look at them go!
The animals hop across the boulders and the rams bump into each other like they're playing a game, like bumper cars. They all run past the duo getting up to take pictures with Bimm's camera in her pocket.
V and P back at the boulder: WHAT..?!
Vambre: But they're the most aggressive animals in Lyvsheria, let alone the Earth! Only one was enough to do a combo on us once!
Prohyas pointing: Wait wait! Look at that one over there!
Bimm putting her camera back: I've never seen them so happy before!
Cattus: Yes! Although that one coming for us looks kind of aggre-
This familiar-looking lanolion charges straight at the couple and knocks them down with a heavy jump to the chest! From a distance, the Warriors wear a devious from that is quickly diminished when they see that same animal licking Cattus and Bimm on their faces with such joy.
Bimm And Cattus getting tickled: AHAHAHAHA!
Lanolion licking and smiling: Baah!
Vambre: ...I give up. Why don't we just watch them enjoy their company instead?
Prohyas: Yeah. I can't be evil at them. I just wonder how much longer they'll be at it. I mean, it can't be that bad, right?
A few hours later...
After about 4 more hours, the Warriors for Hire finally decide to leave in exhaustion with bags under their eyes from complete and utter boredom. They both wobble to the left where they came and as they leave they encounter Bimm and Cattus, who have enjoyed their picnic/date together.
Vambre: Ugh...That was forever...
Prohyas: Yeah. We've just witnessed two furries chatting and flirting with each other for 3 hours. I think its fair to say we need a break...
Cattus meeting the duo: Why, hello there, Warriors for Hire. How are you?
V and P: Ok, I guess...
Bimm: We just had one of the best days in our entire lives! I don't think I'll ever forget it! And it's thanks in part to you guys!
V and P: Huh?!
Prohyas: You knew we were trying to sabotage you?!
Cattus: Why of course! After all, it IS Mischievous Day of Mischievousness. But everything you've done did far more good than harm, and that is something we honor you for! Which reminds me. I've heard something about Nicole visiting. She says she wants to train with you.
Vambre: Oh God, no...
Bimm: Happy Mischief Day, Warriors for Hire!
Prohyas: Thanks. We really needed that. (Gets tapped on shoulder)
Nicole Watterson: Hello. Are you Prohyas Warrior?