095. Emotional



He remembers when Wyoming's frost had been brutal enough to form on his eyelashes. It would melt onto the tent-canvas, sagging it.

Remembers the taste of his own blood being spat out into the grass, and Jack's reassuring, soft words echoing after their fight. His gentle caress against Ennis's face. How warm, how alive.

Ennis touches over the lapels of his old, stained shirt and Jack's coat, his memories tangled by grief and a hopeless, helpless love. It's interrupted by a insistent, almost rude banging on his trailer's door. "Hold on," he yells, scowling as it halts, then starts again just as loudly. "I said, hold on—"

He throws open his door to the choking-hot, dusty wind, and nearly drops his jaw on the ground.

Standing in the dirt below, the toes of his boots cracked with grime, Jack flashes him a toothy and wide grin underneath his coarse, dark beard.

"Jesus fuckin' christ," Ennis mumbles, too shocked to move an inch, or hitch up his voice.

Has he gone senile?

"Nice to see you too, Ennis," Jack says conversationally, lightheartedly, reaching for the doorway to hoist himself into the trailer.

The blue of Jack's eyes so clear, so lovely that Ennis finds himself pulling the other man in. He embraces Jack until it physically pains him, Jack's mouth covering his, their teeth and lips scraping.

"They said you was…"

Ennis can't say it.

Can't think it.

"A tire exploded… …" he rasps out.

Jack nods understanding, but what's there to understand?

"Took me a while to plan the whole thing just right, and make it believable. I got the hell out before anyone could know," Jack explains, cupping Ennis's face going disbelieving. "No, you ain't dreamin'… it's really me."

Anger, choking-hot, seizes him.

Ennis thrusts his arms roughly against Jack's chest, heaving for air.

"You let me THINK you were—"

"Ennis, Ennis," Jack breathes out, twisting out of his grasp and holding onto Ennis's fist. "S'why I'm here. I wanted you to know I was alive."

It's for them — Ennis realizes, too-slowly, when Jack's fingers cradle his head. He brings him in to nudge their foreheads, their noses and mouths, kissing Ennis with fierce, tender intentions.

It's only ever for them.



Brokeback Mountain isn't mine. This movie actually breaks me. I love it so much. If you love it too, give a holler! Any comments/thoughts appreciated!