A Redeemed Bond Ch. 3

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United we stand, together we fall, no matter what happens will be for us all…
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Edward sat at Brendam Docks, hiding under a shade cover, crying to himself. Dean and Kurtis stood in front of him, worry in their eyes.

"Oh, come now, Edward…" Dean whispered sorrowfully. "Don't- don't cry… it-"

"No…" Edward interrupted sharply, while sniffling. "I deserved this."

"What?"

"Now, I know how Thomas felt, when I yelled at him." Edward explained. "He was just upset… he had every right to yell at me. But I know he didn't mean it."

"But he said that he hated you." Kurtis said. "He said that he wished you weren't ever his brother!"

"I know what he said." Edward mumbled plainly. "But do you remember what I said?"

Both Dean and Kurtis looked down in shame; and Edward continued. "I said that I should've known better than to trust him with anything. And asked how anyone could teach someone like him; that I shouldn't have wasted my time on him. That I didn't love or like him."

"I said something, which I didn't mean. And so did Thomas." Edward explained. "We both regret it, and we're both hurting. But maybe… we can get past this…"

"You're that hopeful?" Dean asked quietly.

"Of course I am." Edward confirmed. "He's my brother. My baby brother. Though why aren't you?"

"What?" Kurtis asked. "What are you saying?"

"Why aren't you as hopeful as I am?" Edward asked. "To be reunited with Jason and Derek?"

Dean sighed with a small, sad smile on his face. "We know you and Thomas are brothers. Thus, making us, and Jason and Derek closer."

"But you're wrong, Edward." Kurtis chuckled. "We do want to be reunited with Jason and Derek. Just, not as strongly as you."

Edward smiled. "Well… I'm glad." He chuckled silently. "… I want to fix this. We need to go. Now. …please." He added quietly.

Dean and Kurtis nodded. "We couldn't agree more." Then they quickly got into Edward's cab.

As Edward moved down the tracks, to hopefully find his baby brother, he started humming.

It was a lullaby that he made up for Thomas, and he sang it to him every night to help him sleep.

Though now, it was needed to help Edward. As he moved down the track, a larger engine came into view; he was blue and facing away from Edward.

"Gordon…?" Edward whispered silently as he came closer. When he did, he heard not only Gordon's voice, but Thomas' as well.

"How do you think Edward feels?"

Edward's breath hitched. They were talking about him… about the fight…

"We're both hurting, I get it! But I'm not ready…"

"What will it take?"

Edward took a deep breath. It was now or never. "Thomas?"

Thomas gulped as he stared up into the watery eyes of his brother. "Edward…"

"Thomas…" Edward whispered, equally as quiet. "Please, just… listen to me."

"… Ok…" The smaller engine agreed.

Edward sighed, before closing his eyes. "Oh… what can I say..?"

"I'm so sorry Thomas." The older engine finally whispered after a moment. "But I know that isn't enough. I hurt you and… there's nothing I can do to change that. But hopefully, we can prevent it from happening ever again…" He smiled softly.

"Really..?" Thomas whispered shakily.

Edward smiled. "Yes. I can't bear to lose you… not my baby brother. Over something as silly as a swan. Though… I know you didn't mean what you said to me, either… did you?" He asked quietly, pressing ever closer to his brother.

Thomas clenched his eyes as he fought for an answer. Tears sprang to his eyes, and he started shaking. For a moment, Edward felt a wave of concern wash over him, and he was tempted to ask the other if he was alright. But after a moment, Thomas took a deep breath.

"No…" He choked out. "No, I- I didn't mean it… you're right on that." He whispered. "But at the time… this might not be relevant now but-"

Edward sighed. "No Thomas. Say what you need to."

Thomas stared at his older brother, fully aware that what he was going to say next might very well hurt him more. But he needed to get it out of his head. "I… at the time… I wanted to mean it." He mumbled.

Edward gasped slightly, his eyes widening in hurt, but he stayed silent, letting Thomas continue.

"I wanted to mean it." Thomas repeated. "I wanted you to understand just how much you hurt me. And… I wanted you gone… completely."

Edward bit his lip, his eyes brimming with tears. "I… I see."

"But if I think about it… that wouldn't solve anything." Thomas sighed. "As much as it broke me, losing you completely would break me even more. I do love you, Edward. I really do. But…"

"But what, Thomas?" Edward asked, secretly overfilled with a light happiness that Thomas still loved him.

"I don't know… if I'm ready to forgive you, just yet." Thomas whispered. "I need a while. Maybe talk to someone else…"

Edward smiled sadly, his own tears finally slipping past his eyes and down his cheeks. "I… understand Thomas." He spoke shakily. "Take… take all the time you need. Just… just know this." He finished, looking at his baby brother, and somehow, pressing closer.

Cinders and ashes, Thomas hadn't felt this safe in a long time…

"I never wanted to hurt you." Edward whispered, closing his eyes. "I never wanted it to go this far. I never wanted to- to shatter you so badly." He confessed. With each word he spoke, more tears went down his face. "I love you so, so much little brother. I know you'll need time, and I will wait for you. I hope that one day, you can forgive me." With that, he backed away from his little brother, out of the siding, and left.

Thomas almost, almost called out to Edward, begging for him to come back.

I want that safe feeling again… don't leave me.

But he wasn't ready. He closed his eyes, and clenched his teeth together as he desperately tried to will his tears away.

Vaguely, he could feel Jason and Derek come back to him, and try to soothe him. Gently patting his face, and whispering words that Thomas couldn't hear, too lost his own thoughts.

Finally however, a loud sob left his mouth. Jason and Derek, slightly startled, backed away a bit.

"I love you too, Edward." Thomas cried quietly. "I love you so much…"

A.N. Sorry for the wait! But here it is!