THE INVADERS NEXT DOOR
Zim sat in front of the reconnaissance monitors in his observation deck, examining live feeds from all around the surrounding area of his home base while GIR flew around atop of Minimoose, squealing as they bumped into anything that crossed their path. Zim smiled as he sat back in his comfy floating egg-chair, "All is well! The ignorant humans are going about their daily lives unaware of the doom that lies beneath their very eyes!" Zim cackled with laughter for a good few seconds until an alarm went off, "Huh? What is it!"
One of the monitors grew larger, showing a large van from the Moo-Ving company pulling into the neighborhood.
Zim leaned forwards and narrowed his eyes, "Hrrm? What's this?"
"Cow!" GIR cheered as he saw the company mascot.
The van stopped in front of the house that was across the street from Zim's home base. Two humans got out of the van and went to the back, opening it and getting in.
Zim scratched his head in thought, "Some form of human transportation vehicle, but what kind of cargo would it carry to require such a large size?"
The two humans started carrying out the cargo which amounted to a bunch of furniture including a TV, a couch, and a whole bunch of boxes.
"Hmm...with that many munitions, it seems as though they're setting up a base! But wait..." Zim's eyes widened, "No! The enemy is setting up a base directly across from mine! This cannot be! I've been found out!"
Minimoose then landed with a confused "Nya?"
Zim turned around and jumped out of his chair, "Minimoose! Start the procedure for an emergency disposal of our base! We must destroy it and relocate before it's too late!"
GIR pointed at the screens, "Ooh! Another one!
Zim turned back to the screens and gasped in horror, another van was pulling into the neighborhood and the screen counted over twenty life forms on board, "It's too late! They've brought an entire platoon! We need to set the base to self-destruct!"
"Hi baby!" GIR waved to the screens.
"Eh?" Zim took another look and saw a mother human carrying a baby human, both with blonde hair exiting the van after it parked. Soon after, the slide doors to the van opened and a total of one human boy and ten human girls with varying hair colors exited the van along with several Earth animals including a dog, a cat, a bird, a bat, a hamster in a ball, a snake, a lizard, and a frog.
"That's a lot of humans!" GIR observed.
"Nyaa!" added Minimoose.
Zim's mouth was agape, "It's just a larger than normal human family? Really Minimoose? They're not disguised at all?"
Minimoose nodded, "Nya!"
Zim sighed, sitting back in his chair, "Well, I guess we can cancel the self-destruct...how can humans multiply so much?" Zim pointed upwards, "Computer! Do we have information on...human mating?"
Another monitor lowered in front of Zim, at first showing static.
"DISPLAYING VIDEO: THE MIRACLES OF HUMAN LIFE!"
Zim narrowed his eyes as the video played.
"Hello curious child! Ever wondered where babies came from?"
As the video continued, Zim recoiled and screamed in horror, covering his eyes, "Ah! Disgusting! Why must humans be so disgusting? Skip this! Skip! Skiiiiiip!"
The video then fast-forward to the end, "-and while all families come in all shapes in sizes, our corporate overlords have paid us to pass along the message to our youth that the ideal family has at least two and a half children!"
"Well, that's all for today children! Say goodbye to your innocence and say hello to an awkward start to adulthood!"
The video then ended, Zim tapped his chin, "Two and a half children?" the alien counted on one of his fingers and then slammed his hands on the console, "Oh no! I'm only one disguised human worm! The invaders next door will surely catch on that something is amiss!" he then stood up, arms raised and hands balled into shaking fists, "I need siblings! Siblings!"
"Siblings!" GIR chimed in.
"Nya!" added Minimoose.
"Not you two! You two are too conspicuous! I need something...new!"
"Huddle up Loud family!" Lynn Sr. announced, everyone aside from Rita and Lily were groaning a bit. The patriarch of the Louds took a deep breath, "Now kids, I know that moving into a new place can be a drag, but since our house was lost in that tornado, we have to make do."
Rita nodded in agreement, "Fortunately we had insurance, and enough savings to purchase a new home with only an hour and half commute...well for me." she looked towards her husband with disapproving eyes.
"Honey, you know I was going to quit my IT job anyway."
"What?" the kids all asked in unison.
Lynn Sr. scratched the back of his head, "Well, it was going to be a surprise, but I've been accepted for an entry-level cook position at a place called..." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, "...Bloaty's Pizza Hog!"
Lola gagged, "What kind of name is 'Bloaty'?" she asked.
Her dad put the paper away, "I'm not sure, but they were hiring!"
Rita smiled at the kids, "Why don't you kids try to find your things and bring them inside?"
The kids all gave disapproving groans.
"First one to pitch in gets first pick of the bedrooms!"
That got all the Loud children to hurry towards the Moo-Ving van, shoving one of the movers out of the way. The parents smiled with Lynn Sr. putting an arm around Rita, "You know, maybe this will all work out just fine..."
"Hey guys, what does fra-gee-lay mean?" Leni asked, holding up a box saying "Fragile".
Everyone else panicked, "Leni no!"
The box then fell out of the girl's hands, landing with the sound of something breaking, "Ooops! Let me get that!" Leni picked up the box again, only for it to fall out of her hands again, causing another item inside to break.
Rita quickly walked over, "Uh, Leni, why don't you help out by holding Lily? Maybe take a walk around and get a feel for our new neighborhood?"
Leni accepted her baby sister who giggled in her hands, "Sure mom! No problem!" she then walked away from the Moo-Ving van.
"...she can't be trusted with fragile objects but she's trusted with a toddler?" Lisa asked out loud.
Zim was working in his lab with GIR and Minimoose watching in awe. Sparks flew from the electric welding tools meeting the metal, and the sounds of the lab's various manufacturing machines filled the large underground area with a cacophony of creation.
"Yes, yes! I've done it! I've done iiiiiiit!" Zim grabbed hold of the finished product with both hands and lifted it up into the air and laughed.
The finished Robobaby looked down at Zim, it's eyes zooming in a little, "Mama?"
"Aw!" GIR cooed, "It thinks you're it's mommy!"
Zim closed his eyes and smiled, "Heh, heh, heh! That is cute..." then he opened them with a glare and frown, "...but it's wrong! Robobaby, listen to me! Do not address me as your mother!"
The Robobaby zoomed the eyes back, "Dada?"
"No! I am to be addressed as your brother! Broth-er!"
The Robobaby cocked its head, "Onii-chan?"
Zim narrowed his eyes, "No."
"Nya?" asked Minimoose.
Zim sighed and set Robobaby down, "Yes Minimoose, I am aware that Robobaby is little more than a decoration! But from what we know, human babies do little else than cry, eat, and make disgusting human messes in their pants!"
"They make doodies!" GIR cheered.
"GIR, we need to stay focused! Unlike the Robobaby, the Robosister will be much more complicated! What do you know about the female teenage humans?"
GIR shrugged, "I dunno."
"You don't know? You're supposed to be an information retrieval unit! You watch TV all day! How could you not know?"
"Giiiiiiirl, those girls be all cray-cray!" GIR responded while snapping his fingers three times in a Z formation.
Zim tapped his chin, "Maybe if we had a live subject, we could-"
Just then, an alarm went off, "SECURITY BREACH! HUMAN APPROACHING THE BASE!"
"What? Computer, visuals!"
"Who is it?" GIR asked.
"Probably Dib, who else? That revolting worm is always trying to-"
A monitor came down, showing one of the human girls from earlier approaching the front door holding a baby human.
"...wait a minute, this might be exactly what I need!"
"C'mon Lily! Let's introduce ourselves to our new neighbors!" Leni told her youngest sister as they walked towards the house that had a front yard filled with gnomes, puffer fish, and a flag saying "I [heart shape] EARTH".
"I heart the Earth too!" Leni announced.
Lily giggled in Leni's arms.
Leni walked up to the front door which appeared to have a sign for a Men's restroom. She looked at the door in confusion, "Wait, this is a bathroom? Oh, maybe it's one of those fancy public ones!" Leni eyed the door suspiciously, seeing a doorbell right next to it, then jumped a bit as the door opened.
"Hello there!" shouted a short green skinned boy who emerged from the building.
Lily's eyes went wide while Leni smiled and waved, "Hi, I'm Leni and this is Lily! Our family just moved in across the street. Sorry, we didn't mean to disturb you!"
The green skinned boy laughed, "Disturb? Me? Oh, no no! I'm not disturbed! I am Zim! I live here!"
"You live in a bathroom?" Leni asked.
"Bathroom?" Zim held his arms out as if he was presented the building, "This is my house!"
"But the door..." Leni pointed at the Men's restroom sign.
Zim looked at the sign, then waved her off, "Oh, that! Uh...that's just how it came! It's a new design!"
Leni smiled, "Oh, now I get it! It's post-modern!"
Zim nodded, "Yes, yes, very post-modern! Would you like to come in?"
Lily spat a raspberry at him.
Leni waved a finger at her baby sister, "Now Lily, mind your manners! This sweet young man just invited us into his home!" the ditzy girl then realized something, "Wait, will your parents be okay with that?"
Zim nodded, "They'd be more than happy to let you in themselves, but they're uh...in the shower now!"
"Oh, I totally get that! I always put in the extra effort to look my very best!"
"You don't say? My parents just so happen to use a very...uh... state-of-the-art...head-thingy to look their best!"
Leni gasped, "O-M-Gosh! You mean a hair dryer? Like at the salon?"
"Yes! We have all kinds of salon stuff!"
Leni walked right into the living room, "Ooh! You should've said that from the start!"
"Doggie!" Lily said as she pointed at the couch. On the couch sat an odd-looking green dog with what looked like a zipper on its chest and its tongue sticking out.
Zim suddenly got in front of them, "Oh, yes, this is my dog, GIR! He's my perfectly normal Earth dog monster!"
GIR waved, "Hi there!"
Lily and Leni gasped, "Wow, your dog talks? My dog hardly says anything!"
Zim slapped his forehead, "Yes, well...he's very special! One of a kind!"
GIR stood up and raised his arms into the air, "I'm monies baby!"
"Huh?" Lily looked up and pointed at a small purple-colored moose that floated into the living room.
"Oh and that's Minimoose! My uh...other completely normal Earth pet! We've been through a lot together! Yup!"
"Nya!" agreed Minimoose.
Leni gasped in awe, "Ooh, your moose talks too! And it's purple!"
Zim tugged a bit on Leni, "Yes, yes, Minimoose talks a lot, now how about that dryer? You can leave the baby here."
Leni frowned, "Gee, I dunno, my mom trusted me to keep an eye on-"
"Nya!" Minimoose floated just above Lily. Lily giggled and reached out to the creature.
"Hmm...can't argue with that logic! Okay! I trust you, little moose!" Leni gently set Lily on top of Minimoose, who then grabbed the moose's antlers. Minimoose then gently floated over to the couch where the newly-formed trio began watching the popular cartoon Floopsy Bloops Shmoopsy.
Zim then led Leni into the side hallway, "The hair dryer is just over here!"
Leni smiled as she ran a hand through her hair, "I can't wait!
Zim stopped and reached for the backpack behind him, "Right, now close your eyes!"
"So they don't get blinded by the dryer-thingy!"
"Oh, right!" Leni shut her eyes.
Zim pushed a button on the backpack that opened it up, and he then brought out an odd dome-shaped machine, and put it over Leni's head.
"Dibs on this room!" Lana yelled as she laid down on the floor of an empty room with Hops, Izzy, and El Diablo.
In the next room over, Lincoln set down a box marked "Lincoln's Stuff" and sighed, he headed back outside passing Lori and Luna. Lori hummed with a smile as she carried a box marked "Lori's Things".
"Why are you so happy?" Luna asked, carrying one of her amps, "Aren't you upset that we moved away from your loverboy?"
Lori waved her off, "Oh, it turns out that Bobby and his family are going to move away next year anyway, he told me about his mom thinking they needed to move in with her family before we left." Lori then leaned in and whispered, "I'm just happy that I don't got to deal with Clyde and his nosebleeds anymore!"
"You know I can hear you." Lincoln told her, walking into the house with a box marked "More of Lincoln's Stuff", he carried it into the room he was claiming and set it on top his other box, then opened it to find the parting gift Clyde had given him before his family left. The gift was a Game Slave 2, a brand new handheld gaming console that came out recently. Lincoln picked it up, "Well...might as well give it a whirl."
Steam was still rising from Leni's hair as she carried Lily outside, "Thanks for letting me use your hair dryer Zim! We gotta go see the other new neighbors now!"
Zim shooed them out, "Yes, yes, begone now! I must...do things! Alone!"
Leni giggled, "Sure, we'll see you another time!"
"Bye baby!" GIR said with a wave.
"Nya!" added Minimoose.
"Bye-bye!" Lily waved back.
Zim slammed the door shut, and headed to one of his base's elevators and headed downwards. Back down in his lab, Zim had his computer analyze the data collected from the dumb human known as Leni, "That was almost a little too easy! Foolish simple humans!"
"SHALL I ASSEMBLE THE NEW ROBOT FROM YOUR DATA?"
Zim pointed upward with a glare, "No! The highly-advanced Robosister will be built by MY HANDS! I can't afford to make any mistakes! Leave all construction to Zim!"
"Yes! Now fabricate an endoskeleton for me!"
Later in the evening, Lincoln sat on his bed still playing his new Game Slave 2, having gotten used to the controls.
"Hey Linky, can you help me? Lori won't let me come into our room."
Lincoln paused and looked up to see Leni in his doorway, "Uh, Leni, we're not at our old house anymore, we all got new rooms."
Leni nodded, "Okay...so where's my room?"
Lincoln sighed, and set the GS2 down, "Hold on Leni, let me help you."