AN: Hi, and welcome to my first fanfic! It's a Warioware fluff (rare I know) but I really wanted to write this for whatever reason. It's was an enlightening experience creating this story and I wanted to share it with the few people who actually read Warioware fanfic and love the characters and games, so you can think of this as a tribute for the Warioware franchise, and if you want, leave a review on what you thought, or tell me that i'm the worst thing since Sakurai getting rid of Wario's shoulder bash in Smash 4 (still salty about that). Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this sickly sweet fic! Ciao!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just my scenario, Nintendo and Intelligent Systems own all rights to the characters and settings.

Wario woke up everyday the same way, smashing his alarm clock and immediately cursing to himself.

"Eh… another rotten day…" he mumbled as he stretched his stubby (yet muscular) limbs and got out of bed, his weight causing his bed to shake.

He took great, lumbering steps towards his bathroom, grunting to himself as he got in the shower.

"This thing better work this time…" he said, having trouble with his water earlier, as it was very weak and could barely wash the portly man's beautiful body.

"Come on! Work!" he said as he slammed his fist onto the shower head.

A second of utter silence, as Wario was suddenly burst with a torrent of steaming hot water, where he screamed in shock and pain.

"Atatatatata!" he shouted in pain, his eyes bulging out as he covered himself from the torrent of water as best he could.

He barely managed to turn off the water pressure to a reasonable temperature as his perfect body was now scalding red.

Steaming with anger (ha), he achingly went for his bar of soap (garlic scented) but due to his strength, he accidently sent it flying out the window, causing him to look even more frustrated than usual.

"WAH! I DIDN'T NEED YOU ANYWAYS! PBBLTT!" Wario shouted at the bar of soap as it fell into a nearby lake… and caused all the fish to mysteriously perish.

Wario, now thoroughly annoyed, stomped over to his kitchen for some light breakfast, an extra-large deep-dish garlic and head cheese pizza and a extra-large Chuckola Cola (diet) … only to notice his refrigerator ransacked by mice.

"Grr… YOU!" he bellowed as he shoulder-tackled the refrigerator, hoping to exterminate some mice… only for him to destroy not only his refrigerator… but his wall.

"Oh. Excellent." he said sarcastically as the mice he wished to squash scurried away with all of his food… and a piece of concrete from the wall landed on his head.

Wario, now not washed properly and famished, begrudgingly left for work at his own company, Warioware Inc.

"Well… today's seeming to be more rotten than usual… I only hope those slackers came up with some good games today…" he said as he parked his bike at the company parking lot.

But he could already tell something was wrong…

"What?!" he said, mouth agape.

A giant lock was placed over the front door, with it a note.

Wario swiped the note and read it very slowly, as he couldn't comprehend what was happening.

Yo Wario! Sorry for locking your place up man! We're setting something really cool for a big party later and we wanted it to be at Warioware! Come back later at 8, you can see what we did with the place! - Jimmy

Wario crumpled the note with one hand, fires burning in his eyes, as he cursed to himself heavily.

"Grr! That stupid blue-afro wearing dance maniac! Locking me outta my own business! I'll show him!" he said as he attempted to break into the company the only way he knew how.

Wario backed-up as far as he could, and roared loudly as he attempted to head-butt his door open.

"Grrragh!" he charged in a blinding fury.

To his surprise however, the door produced a giant baseball glove where Wario grunted in shock as it caught him and threw him across Diamond City, waving goodbye as it did so.

Wario screamed like any other person being thrown hundreds of miles in the air, very loudly and in panic.


He felt like he was in the air for hours… until something happened.

"Mama Mia!" Wario cried as he saw a certain pig-shaped spaceship coming his way.

Wario put his arms over his face as he and Orbulon's ship collided with each other, the impact sending both parties hurtling towards the ground at a great speed.

Wario screamed as he felt himself catch on fire and landed face-first onto a pile of dirt, causing him to spit out the earth from his mouth.

"Ptooie! GRR!" Wario grunted as he looked towards Orbulon's ship.

"Why you bowling-pin looking idiot! Watch where you're… huh?" he said as he noticed the aforementioned alien wasn't inside, but a dummy.

"What is this…?! What?!" Wario hollered in rage before realizing something.

"NO! MY MONEY!" Wario said as he quickly reached for his wallet… only to find that it got burned to ash when he was careening towards earth.

"Oh… no…" Wario sobbed as his entire life-savings (6 golden coins) was in there.

Wario sniveled to himself uncharacteristically as he thought about how terrible today was going.

"I got burned today… twice, my fridge got ransacked, i'm starving, my company is locked-up and my wallet got burnt like toast… what else can happen to me?" he said.

It started to rain.

"Oh… of course…" Wario said as he immediately got drenched.

Wario groaned as he picked himself up and walked towards a tree with low-hanging branches as he sneezed.

"I never had a day as rotten as this… well…" he thought as he reminisced back to his childhood.

Days of playing with his arch-nemesis, Mario, and being bullied by him was the worst experiences of his life. His mother, telling him that he couldn't have anything he wanted unless he paid for it… and never giving him an allowance. And worst of all…

"The days where I had nothing. Nobody. When I was all alone, defeated by that goody-two shoes plumber and his scaredy-cat of a brother, being kissed and paraded like heroes from that prissy princess… mama mia… it feels just like that."

Wario then took a moment to reflect upon his life, to wonder why he ended up like this.

"I know i'm not a good person… that's not a secret. I know i'm greedy and selfish… and I know that i'm a nuisance to others around me and everyone probably hates me… so what. I mean, it's not like i'm a complete greedy dirtbag, I care about others… like Hen! And that guy…" he said thinking about his lanky, purple wearing partner in crime.

"Heh… it doesn't matter anyways, nobody cares. They don't care about my problems at all! All they see... is this. And this is just how I am… and right now it feels like the world is against me… like before I came here… before I made… friends…" he said as he thought about them.

His first thought was of Jimmy, his oldest friend, he's known him since children, right after he swore to stop playing with Mario, Jimmy was always there for him, getting sodas, giving Wario his first cell-phone, and dancing with him at Club Sugar, and was his first employee at Warioware Inc., where he shook his head coolly and pledged to make games for him.

"Although he may have locked me out… he's a good friend… but I don't think I ever told him that…"

Then he thought of the second person he made friends with.

"Mona…" Wario said with a hint of longing in his voice.

Ah Mona. He always thought she was cute from the moment he met her when he ordered his first Mona Pizza… what with her fiery red hair, her big blue eyes, her slim physique, and her radiant smile... but he'll never tell her that, not in a million years. He knows that he's ugly, and that no one will ever love him, at least, that's what his mother told him right before she left for bingo after his last math test (that he passed, he liked counting stuff). He doesn't want her to think of him as some kinda loser, as he knows that the age gap between him and her is wide and quite frankly, even he knows he's way outta her league… although, strangely enough, he has never seen Mona with another boy, ever. Even though one time he saw this blonde football player confess his love to her as he was walking by after getting a turkey and provolone cheese sandwich, he didn't even see her bat an eye… and he knows she heard him.

"Huh… I wonder why…" he thought.

Not only was she pretty, but he also thought her personality was great too. Although she's the first one to complain about their pay, he kinda likes that spunk in her, after being around stuck-up, spoiled little princesses (except for that one pink-haired girl), it was quite refreshing to hear something other than "Save me!" Also, the fact that she likes money and wants to be an adventurer when she grows up, makes Wario appreciate even more that Mona works for him, and he'll do anything to have her stay.

"I really should pay her on time…" he thought, immediately shaking his head.

"Heh… i'm going soft…" he thought as the sound of thunder could be heard over the soft thumping of raindrops.

For some reason, this made him think of Kat and Ana, the two ninja kindergartners.

It was by complete accident Wario even happened to stumble upon the girls. He was simply minding his business, picking his nose and strolling by the park to find some loose coins, when he saw two girls fighting a giant… giant.

There was a pink haired girl and an orange haired girl… but it seemed like the orange haired one got hurt, as she was on the ground and couldn't get up.

The pink haired girl looked at her worriedly as she put on a determined look on her face and prepared to fight the giant, who merely laughed at her.

Wario watched this while eating some garlic-flavored popcorn, finding this to be better entertainment than watching the ducks fly away after he threw rocks at them.

He saw the pink-haired girl attack the giant with her blade, and it seemed like the attack hurt him… until he swatted her away and sent her flying next to her sister.

"Wahahah! What a great play!" Wario laughed as he saw the giant approaching the girls, readying to finish them off.

But then Wario realized something.

"Wait… if this is a play… why didn't I need a ticket?" he thought before connecting the dots.

"Mama Mia! That's a real giant?!" he panicked as he knew he had to act.

Normally, Wario would never get himself involved in anything unless he would get something out of it… but these were two little girls! Even for someone like Wario, he knew when to act and now was the time.

The giant was one step away from crushing the poor ninja kindergartners as they both held hands and closed their eyes tightly.

However, a sudden attack from behind caused the giant to look at the new distraction.

"Ey big guy! Pick on someone your own size!" a coarse, rough voice grated the ears of Kat and Ana, who looked to their new savior.

Wario, in all his manly glory, held a huge boulder and threw it at the giant's eye, causing him to roar in pain as he swung for Wario with his club.

Wario avoided the attack and jumped on his club, running at the giant's eye at top speed at he rammed into him with all his might, causing the giant to fly hundreds of miles away as Wario leapt off before he went on the ride with him.

Wario landed on the ground next to the girls as they both looked at him with respect and gratefulness.

"Wahahaha! Wario is great!" he said arrogantly, a habit of his to congratulate himself on every idiot he beats up.

He then turned his attention to the girls, and talked to them.

"Well? Aren't you gonna thank Wario?" he said as the two stood up.

"Th-thank you mister!" the two said, bowed, as Wario grinned.

"Of course! Wario is number one!" he laughed as the girls smiled.

"We don't know what would've happened if it weren't for you…" the orange-haired one said.

"Yeah… but if someone didn't get sloppy, maybe we wouldn't have needed your help!" the pink-haired one said to her as she looked saddened.

"Kat…" she said tearily as the pink-haired one crossed her arms.

"Shut it Ana!" she snapped, as this made Ana start to whimper.

Wario knew when something bad was gonna happen, and a little girl crying is one of them.

In order to prevent that from happening, Wario needed to act fast.

"Uh… hey! Look at this!" Wario said as tearfully looked up.

Wario made the stupidest face he could (which admittedly wasn't that much different from his usual expression) which did prevent Ana from crying… but it caused her to start giggling uncontrollably, causing Wario to breathe a sigh of relief.

He then turned to Kat and started to berate her.

"Hey! Uh… Kat! Don't talk that way to your friend! You can laugh at them, steal their money, punch them, but never yell at your friend!" he said as Kat looked at him, her expression showing guilt.

"Well… I guess… but we're not just friends…" she started as Wario raised an eyebrow.

They started do a series of fast-paced sword movements in a zig-zag pattern as Wario stared in amazement.

They were nothing more than a blue of pink and orange before they stopped mid-air and held hands.

"We're sisters!" Ana finished as she fell down in a graceful pose, Kat looking pouty as she wanted to reveal that.

Wario couldn't believe it but if they were saying so…

"Wah. Fine. But anyways, now you owe Wario something." he said as they nodded.

"Of course! Ninjas always pay back a debt!" they said as Wario was shocked.

"You're ninjas?!" he said as they nodded.

"Mm-hm! We're from the Iga tribe! Father told us to train in solitude until we learn… "self-discipline…" I think, but we rather play instead!" Ana said as Kat spoke up.

"But i'm training hard, even though Ana isn't." she said as Wario could tell who was the leader of this duo.

"Ok, ok… that's great… now… got any money?" he said as they looked at each other.

"Uh… what's money?" they said as Wario's face looked shocked.

"What?! You don't know what money is?!" he said as they shook their heads.

"Sorry… we live pretty far away from the city, we don't know what a lot of things are." Ana said, a small frown on her face.

"Also, we're in kindergarten." Kat finished, arms crossed.

Wario couldn't believe it, kindergartners didn't know what money is? His mother taught him that as soon as he could remember… even when he was a baby… he believed he knew.

"Well… money is the best thing in the world… here let me teach you…" Wario said as he sat down, as Kat and Ana got onto their knees and listened.

A lot of new words and phrases they never heard before were used, like "economy", "stock market", and "embezzlement", but they were quick learners and understood the gist of it.

"Ooh! So you can buy anything with money?!" Ana said as Wario nodded.

"Yeah! Anything! Video games, pizzas, castles, garlic toothpaste… wait that doesn't exist yet…" he murmured as Kat's eyes sparkled.

"Wow! Ana! That means we can buy food without having to grow or hunt for it!" she said as Ana's eyes sparkled.

"Really! Wow!" she said as they both daydreamt of all the new foods they could buy.

Wario looked at them fondly as they reminded him of the day he learnt that money could buy anything… food, clothes, friends, happiness…

This gave Wario a genius idea, although the sacrifice was massive, he reached into his pocket and gave them a single gold coin each, as they both held it with wide eyes.

"Alright girls, from this point forward I will be teaching you everything there is to know about money… and even better? You work for me now! Consider that gold coin your first payment…" he said as the two ninjas instantly bowed their heads low at Wario's generosity.

"Wow! Thank you so much Mister Wario! You're amazing!" they said as Wario twisted his mustache.

"I know… heh…" he said as the two ninjas vowed to serve Wario in any way he chooses… as long as they get paid of course.

They then thanked Wario once more before leaping off to go buy something they never had before… "gelato".

From that point on, Wario taught the girls at his own "kindergarten" and all the while using them as cheap labor, claiming it was "secret ninja training", getting them to move things around his house and scrubbing the walls clean all for a single gold coin each, as they were both happy at their experience… until they told their real kindergarten teacher as he got in a little trouble because of that.

Wario then had to stop using them as cheap labor and simply told them to instead make games for him instead, paying them the same but giving them more "experience".

They agreed happily (as quite frankly, it was exhausting moving a giant TV around every 5 minutes) and they became the third and fourth members of Warioware.

He sees them as his own disciples, Kat being more energetic and bossy, reminding him of himself when he was younger, while Ana was more shy and peaceful, but still strong.

He really wants them to have a good experience under him, he knows that meeting your parent's expectations is hard work, his mother was never satisfied with anything he ever did, so he wants them to know that there is more to life than just fighting monsters and training, and in return, he hopes that they see him as a great guy and teacher.

"Hah… good kids…" he said as he thought of the other ones working for him…

9-Volt was the next employee that came to mind.

He's a good kid… if not a little geeky, what with his helmet and choice of clothing, but who was Wario to judge?

He happened to bump into him on the street, literally, as he started to yell at the boy for cramping his style... before he started to make a noise like a fish outta water.

Wario was confused at the way he acted before he started gushing over meeting a real-life Nintendo character… whatever that meant, but what was important to him was that he had a fan.

9-Volt instantly invited him to his house to play games and eat cake… where Wario agreed for the cake.

He made his way inside his home to meet his mother 5-Volt, who he charmed just from the way she giggled at his manly physique (obviously).

Then. 9-Volt made him sign his copies of Wario Land and almost every single game he was in since the glory days (for 5 coins each), where Wario questioned to himself, who exactly documented his adventures so well.

He then got bombarded with question after question, asking about his adventures, how strong he is, and anything about himself, where Wario was more than willing to exaggerate and make himself look better than he already is.

Although it was quite annoying to hear he liked the Mario Bros. as well, he quickly made it up by saying that Wario will always hold a special place in his heart… which did make him forget about his earlier comment.

Then they sat and played games together, where 9-Volt proved to better at Wario at many games but sometimes he would win, but Wario was confused as to why sometimes 9-Volt would look at him with pity when he does.

After all that, he told him about a company he was starting called Warioware, and 9-Volt instantly agreed to join, along with his mother, who Wario thought was too old to play games, but she proved him wrong by beating his game in less than 10 minutes, but quickly adding that he was her personal favorite as she liked big, burly men… like her husband.

Then 18-Volt somehow joined and Wario accepted him on-board as well, as he made some good music.

"Heh… they may be nerdy… but at least they know who's number one!" Wario chuckled as he suddenly felt a cold gust of wind that made him shake.

"It's cold… and this reminds me of…" Wario thought shivering…


Ashley was, quite honestly, one of the few people Wario was legitimately scared of (along with his mother), and he felt this fear first-hand when he met her.

It was when he heard of that cowardly green guy winning his own mansion from a contest and allegedly, was full of riches.

Wario heard of this and noticed a similarly abandoned mansion that no one ever visited right at the edge of town, and, using his genius brain, deduced that there could be a chance that similar riches could be in there too!

He then got ready to storm the mansion, when 9-Volt told him that there were rumors that a mischievous red devil and a powerful witch lived there that would destroy anyone who dared enter their home… yeah right!

Wario laughed it off as 9-Volt looked worried as Wario promised that he would be fine.

He then revved up his bike and sped off to the haunted mansion.

When he first got there, the first thing he thought of was, "What kinda garlic flavored food am I gonna buy with all of my cash?" (obviously tacos… what? I'm serious) but Wario realized that maybe ransacking the mansion may be more trouble than it's worth.

"I see lights in there… maybe the kid is right… nah! He's probably just exaggerating… what a nerd! Everyone knows that Wario isn't scared of anything… well… almost everything." he said as he thought of the one time he accidentally saw his partner-in-crime step out of the shower… without a towel on.

Wario felt sick but shook it off, he had treasure to steal… er… find!

He waddled his way towards the mansion, not noticing a pair of innocent blue eyes staring at him with a worried frown… or a pair of ominous red eyes glowing in the darkness… looking at him… with much curiosity.

He made his way into the mansion's main door and noticed it was locked.

"Hmph. It's locked." Wario said as he meekly gave up and went towards his bike, obviously knowing that there was no way to ever open that door and that-


Or not.

As with most things in life, Wario used his 300 pound body to bash in the front door with his shoulder, smashing the old creaky wood into splinters as it tore from its rusted hinges with ease as he laughed proudly.

"Heh! Piece of cake!" he said with a gleeful smirk as he felt something behind him.

He turned around to come face to face with a mummy, but not just any mummy, this one looked angry, its red eyes glowed with a silent fury as it growled with a guttural tone against the intruder of its abode, and it stood ready to attack!

"Graggggh!" it roared as it made to attack the reckless plumber.

Wario grunted as he tried to shoulder-bash it… only for it to turn into dust and avoid the attack.

"What?!" Wario grunted in shock as the mummy punched him, causing him to fly backwards and hit the wall.

Wario groaned in pain, it wasn't anything serious, but it did make him catch his breath.

"Heh… looks like this will be harder than I thought… like that time I tried to take that bonehead's castle…" he reminisced as he shook his head.

The mummy was approaching him, ready to finish the job as Wario stood still, deep in thought (a first).

"This bozo can just avoid my attacks by turning into dust… but what if…?" he said as he noticed a torch next to him.

Wario suddenly got a brilliant idea as a large piece of garlic appeared above his head, as he grabbed it and shoved it down his throat.

*chomp snarf* "I always wonder why that happens…" *gulp*

Wario, now ready, grabbed the torch and felt the power within him gurgle and build up.

The mummy was within striking distance of Wario as it raised its hands high above itself, ready to end the portly man's treasure-hunting days.

But, unfortunately for it, Wario had to pass gas.

"Take this!" he said as he pointed his large tushy at the mummy, its eyes widened in horror as it realized it was doomed.

Wario let out a huge waft, the thick noxious fumes instantly filling up the narrow hallway, which would be enough to knock anyone out, but to make matters worse, Wario had the torch next to his rear, causing the flames to engulf the mummy and began to cook him alive (undead?).

The mummy was barbecued to a crispy ash, and then was blown away by an unseen force.

Wario felt relieved, for the mummy being dealt with and by his stomach feeling less bloated.

"Ah… better out than in! Wahahaha!" he said as he smelt what he had dealt and winced.

"Ugh... I better get outta here…" he said as he walked away, his burly physique disappearing into another hallway as a small red devil popped out of the shadows, his baby-blue eyes watering with unshed tears as he held his nose in disgust with one hand and wielded a tiny pitchfork in the other.

"Oh man! Does that guy stink or what?" he said, coughing and trying not to inhale any of the toxic fumes.

Another figure was hidden in the shadows, but this person wore a gas mask, preventing any of the gas from reaching its nose.

"..." the figure silently stared at the portly man waddling away as the little devil kept talking.

"I thought for sure that mummy guy would beat him up… or at least tell him kindly to leave. I mean... wasn't that guy like one of the strongest things you conjured As-" he started as the figure suddenly grabbed him.

Although its face was hidden, one could tell it was a girl by what she was wearing, a red dress with a small skull button on her orange ribbon on the middle of her neck, bright red shoes and black stockings, and a sizable amount of hair that was tied into large, bushy twintails.

"Red. That man interests me." she said, her voice was soft and toneless, yet girlish, and was slightly deepened due to the gas mask she wore as Red tilted his head.

"But why?" he asked, confused.

She was silent for a moment… then two… then three… before answering.

"...he is the first one to visit since we came here." she answered as Red stared.

"Willingly." she added.

Now Red understood.

"Oh yeah… I forgot." he said as he smiled innocently, as he liked making new friends… without turning them into toast if they didn't agree (but he does like toast, especially with strawberry jam!).

She then motioned him to follow as Red obeyed.

"I want to know why." she said softly as behind her mask, a barely noticeable smile was on her face, pleased that someone visited, as a small vestige of joy grew inside her with the thoughts of this person wanting to meet her as to possibly be her... friend, but also curious as to why he was also so strong, and bashed her doors down (he could've just knocked).

Red followed, his thoughts on somewhere else (candy) as he was still holding his nose as the girl reminded him.

"Red… you don't have a nose."

"...oh yeah!" he said as he just forgot he didn't have one.

Back to Wario, he made it to a large library or something, a lotta of books were covering the shelves as he ignored them ("Books are for chumps!", his mother would often say).

Wario kept digging around, looking for any money or treasure… but nothing came up.

"Grr… what's this dump? Where's the loot?" he complained as he made it to an extremely large door.

Wario thought he could probably bash the door down, but since he used his emergency thinking garlic already, he didn't have the energy to do such a feat.

"Wah… this sucks." he said as he kicked the door in frustration, immediately regretting it as he hurt his little piggies.

Suddenly, a haughty laugh could be heard from behind him.

"Instead of kicking the door down… how about you open it with a key?" it said as Wario turned around.

What seemed to be a large spellbook came down and smiled at Wario with an all-knowing grin, as Wario immediately felt annoyed by this guy.

"Eh…? Who are you?" he asked, picking his schnozz, as the book laughed in delight.

"I'm glad you asked! I'm the Locaquious Spell Book! I know everything! I can tell you about the history of the world, how to conjure mutant flowers, the answer to life, what a Whacka-Bump tastes like…" it rambled as Wario began to snore through its explanation.

After about a solid 15 minutes it stopped talking to think (it stopped at the birds and the bees) as Wario woke up.

"Ahhhh… that's better! Now time to open this door…" he said as the spell book looked shocked.

"Oh! Of course! The key for the door! Well, I can't give anyone the key… the master… er… now the mistress of the mansion forbade me to give any random Joe the key (somewhere far away, an old dog sneezed heavily, dropping the pizza he was making on his face) as whoever enters through that door must be smart, funny, nice, kind, and willing to make friends with her and serve her every whim at any given point in time... or else you'll be turned into a spork… or worse, a slice of day-old bread!" it rambled as Wario looked like he was listening.

"Err… sorry about that. Anyways! Now that you're ready, let's begin the questions to determine if you can be the first friend to Master… er… Mistress Ashl-" it started before noticing Wario was gone.

"Uh… sir?" it questioned as it looked for the man in yellow.

"Graggggh!" a loud, abrasive battle-cry bellowed out of the sturdy biker as he ran as fast as he could, determined to bash the door down.

"Goodness me!" the spell book cried as it floated out of Wario's way, barely avoiding a tragic end as Wario crashed into the door, not only breaking the door down, but because of his strength, also caused the entire wall to break down as well.

The spell book stared, mouth agape as Wario got up, laughed, and walked away.

It stayed like that for a moment or two, before shaking itself slowly and floating back into its spot on the shelf.

"The mistress doesn't pay me enough… or at all."

Red and the girl watched from a hidden location exactly what had transpired as Red had a large drop of sweat nervously run past his cheek.

"Uh… well… that's one way of getting through that door…" he said as the girl was dead silent.

"Um… I… uh…" Red fumbled with his words, nervous at what she would do.

She stood in place, almost as if nothing was wrong, before sighing softly.

"Red…" she said as he listened.

"Yes?" he replied as the mistress beckoned him to her side.

"Follow me… it's time to introduce ourselves…" she said as Red nodded.

"Okay then!" he chirped joyfully as he whistled a happy tune.

They walked towards where the man should've ended up in, the master bedroom, as Red began to think about good things.

"Ah… lollipops, poking things with my pitchfork, cake, poking more things with my pitchfork… more lollipops, what else can someone ask for!" he hummed as the mistress said as dryly as she could.


Red's mouth opened his mouth in shock, before laughing nervously.

"Oh… yeah… that's uh… good too…" he said as they kept walking towards the door.

"But… Ashley… we're friends… right?" he said, as the mistress stopped in place.

She looked at him, still with her mask on, and nodded.

"Of course… you are… my best friend Red… that will never change…" she said quietly as he looked extremely happy.

"Oh… Ashley!" he said as he hugged her by surprise, her mask falling off because of the sudden jolt.

Under the mask revealed a young girl, barely 10 years of age, looking surprised at the sudden hug her demon friend gave her and slowly smiled.

She held him for a moment and confided to him.

"All I wish for… is that man… to be my… no… our friend…" she said, a shy and hesitant look on her face.

Red nodded and held her hand.

"Of course Ashley! You're a great witch! You can conjure anything… er… mostly anything. And you're getting better every day at it, so of course he'll want to be your friend! Or if not you can turn him into a lizard or something!" he assured her as Ashley sniffed.

"I just… the other people… They…" she said as she reminisced.

It was as long as she could remember, her mother was always too busy for her, she worked long hours and came home at the dead of night, which she immediately fell asleep right after as she was too tired, and because of this, she ignored her only child, leaving her almost always alone.

The times that she did tend to her daughter were very brief and shallow, she did the bare minimum, and honestly didn't care if she was happy or not, she needed to work, her busy life didn't have time for her to care about someone who didn't contribute with the bills… money was tight, so she ignored her requests for hugs, for her to see her drawings, for her to… love her, and she grew up, never knowing what warmth felt like.

When she went to kindergarten, she was very shy and didn't have any courage to make friends or even speak with her classmates, and she was always the one without a partner during recess and ate by herself during lunch.

Ashley... was lonely.

She tried very hard to speak up, she truly wanted friends... but years of being treated like you don't matter… makes it hard for one to have confidence in themselves.

She grew up as an outcast, her mother too busy to care, her peers seeing her as weird, or creepy, and no one sparing a passing glance to this unloved girl.

She let her hair grow, she started to wear red to get people to look at her, and wear pretty ribbons… but still, no one noticed.

She felt sad… even deeper than that… but she learned that there was no reason to be sad… it just hurts… and that it was better to feel nothing… so she did just that.

So she stopped trying, stopped caring about others, and simply closed herself off to the rest of the world, secluding herself in her room, surrounded by books, and to make her feel even worse, no one cared.

Her mother began to notice her even less, and there were days that she didn't come home and bother to tell her why, which turned into weeks… and then months.

Her teachers began to omit her name from the attendance, her classmates acted like she didn't exist, and when she was in the school picture, it didn't even include her, only showing part of her hair.

It was at this point Ashley felt something… other than sadness…

It was dark… and scary… but she liked it.

It was power… specifically… magic.

She didn't know how or why she received these powers, but one could guess that the negative emotions inside Ashley consumed her, and she was now given powers beyond her comprehension.

She could make small things turn into something else, like bugs into rocks, or pencils into pens, and she practiced, everyday.

She grew stronger and stronger, her powers began to develop and grow as she thought that now… she had a chance… a chance to make friends.

On one faithful day, she went to school and for show-and-tell, she was going to turn a fork into a spoon.

Everyone laughed at her.

They called her names… made fun of her, but Ashley was determined to prove them wrong, to impress them, and get their respect.

She tried to concentrate, she put a lot of effort into her trick… but then things went wrong.

Someone threw an eraser at her, breaking her concentration.

The others joined in, throwing papers, books, homework, anything they can get their hands on, just so they could get the weirdo out of there.

Ashley began to feel the barriers she made began to crumble, the indifference she had begin to fall apart, as she felt as though she was about to cry.

Eyes watering, she stepped down as the teacher happened to make one final comment.

"No wonder no one cares about you Ashley… you are a decent student… you do your homework, you study, but so what? It's obvious you don't care about your classmates… about your mother, or yourself, and because of that, you will never make friends… ever."

That was the last straw.

The teacher's scathing remark brought Ashley to the breaking point.

Consumed by anger, sadness, and hopelessness, her hair turned snow-white and her powers grew tremendously.

She grabbed a ruler off the ground and pointed it at her teacher, and in one moment, turned him into the brightest, shiniest, spoon anyone's ever seen in their life.

Her classmates screamed in terror as they ran away in droves as Ashley fainted, the power being too much for her to handle.

She woke up in her bed, and wondered if it was all just a bad dream… only to find her mother looming over her.

She looked displeased… but mostly indifferent.

She informed her that her school notified them of what she had done, and that she would be expelled and sent to Gravanna City's School of Troublemakers instead, so she told her that she would need to leave… now.

Ashley pleaded with her mother to let her stay, but she looked at her, her cold eyes staring callously at her through her clear glasses.

"Why do you keep deluding yourself into thinking that I love you? I never did, and I never will. You are my biggest mistake. The one blemish in my perfect life. Because of you, I have to live in this cramped apartment instead of a fancy mansion, because of you, I never get a moment's rest, because I have to work so hard to pay for all the bills, and because of you, your father went and got a job somewhere far away and he got-!

... *sigh* ...just go. Leave and never come back."

That was the last thing she ever said as she left Ashley, taking her briefcase and going to work, never looking back once at the lonesome girl.

Ashley wiped her tears away, she would now be sent to somewhere far away, all by herself, without a single friend in the whole world…


Or at least… that's what she thought.

A small red devil floated above her, and gave her a mischievous smile.

"My name's Red! What's yours?" he said as the little girl… no… witch… stoically looked up and hestinantly answered.


"Great! Nice to meet ya Ashley! I sensed your power and wanted to get to know ya! Let's go somewhere!"

Red flew ahead, excited and without a care in the world, as Ashley stood still for a moment, but followed.

From then on, they were inseparable, Red was drawn to Ashley due to her power and the hijinks they could get up to and Ashley now had someone to help guide her to be the world's most powerful witch… so she could have everyone be her friend… or else.

They eventually made it to Diamond City and settled in an old abandoned mansion, and made it their new home.

Although the locals knew to stay away, Ashley didn't care, not anymore, all she wanted was power, to never be weak, as to never, ever, be alone, ever again.

And she would achieve that goal, no matter what it takes.

Ashley shook her head, not realizing she was thinking about her past and let go of Red.

"Red. We will make that man into our friend… no matter what." she said as he nodded.

"Whatever you say Ashley!" he said as she smiled softly.

She was about to enter the room, prepared to greet her new friend…


"Outta my way!"

The man who entered her home bashed the door down… again, and almost sent Ashley flying.

She managed to use some of her magic to shield herself as Red scratched his head.

"Huh… maybe he needed to use the bathroom?" he said as Ashley stared at the man, her face showing signs of melancholy.

"Oh… it looks like…" she said softly.

"We're going to use an extra ingredient in our potion tonight." her hair was snow-white as she grabbed Red, and turned him into her signature wand.

"Welp, see ya later fat guy!" Red thought as no one in the world could calm Ashley down when she was angered like this, without serving her every whim.

Wario rummaged through a cabinet to growl in frustration.

"Grr… I searched through this whole place, looked through every nook and cranny, fought a giant mummy, broke down a lotta doors, but still no treasure! This place's a dump…" he said as he gave up.

"Eh. I think i'll go home, time for Wario to have some pizza…?" he said as he felt a sudden chill run down his spine.

"Brr… why is it so cold…" he wondered out loud to notice the strongest aura of anger he's ever felt (second only to Mother) right behind him.

"Wah…?" he questioned to find the girl he barely noticed as he was leaving, looking at him with the iciest glare he's ever come across and pointing a red wand at him.

"Oh… hello… little girl…" he said, frightened beyond belief.

The girl said nothing, but continued to look at him with anger and started to wave her wand around.

Wario knew that something really bad would happen if he didn't calm this girl down so he did the best thing he knew how to do.

"Uh… look over there!" he said, as he pointed over her shoulder, hoping to distract her so he could run away.

Unfortunately for Wario, Red pulled that trick on her already, so she didn't look impressed and started to chant something under her breath as the wand's power grew.

Wario felt his body soak with sweat as he was too pretty to end up as mincemeat, so he used his brain (again, a great feat) and came up with a brilliant idea.

"Uh… if you don't grind me into garlic paste, i'll do whatever you want!" he said, covering his head.

He waited for the girl to ignore him and turn him into some wacky object… but it never came.

"Eh?" he said as he looked up.

The girl stopped waving her wand and chanting, and looked a lot less murderous than before.

"Oh wow, that actually worked." he said as the girl looked suspiciously at him.

"...really?" she said softly, as Wario gulped.

"Uh-huh. Just don't turn me into anything weird! I promise!" the fear of being turned into a toilet was too great for the portly plumber.

The girl considered this for a moment… and calmed down.

The girl's hair turned black, and she looked a lot calmer than she did earlier.

Wario sighed in relief as the girl started to look at him with a blank expression.

Wario didn't know what to say as the girl suddenly said something.


"Eh?" Wario didn't understand.

"Um… my name… is Ashley…" the girl said meekly.


"Uh… ok. My name's Wario! And i'm a number one!" he said arrogantly, as usual.

Wario then realized maybe she would be annoyed by his antics but was relieved to hear a tiny giggle from the girl.

"He's… funny…" she thought, as she never met someone so full of himself like Wario.

For a moment, all Ashley did was stare at Wario, taking in his… unique features, and thinking about what she wanted to say next.

This went on for a minute as the girl felt too shy to talk, and Wario wanted to leave, so neither one said anything, creating an awkward silence.

Wario felt weirded out as the girl simply stared at him, as he thought that she had no social skills… like at all.

"Uh… Ashley…" he started as she listened.

"You have to say something… I mean… that's how we get to know each other… through talking?" he explained, feeling annoyed, but not wanting to call her outright a weirdo.

Ashley tilted her head, as she didn't know how to carry out a conversation, at least with other people, as she blushed in embarrassment.

"...sorry…" she said, shame welling inside her.

"I'm such an idiot…" she thought as Wario saw her looking down, and he was worried that he upset her.

"Wahhh! Did I make her mad? Mamma Mia, she's gonna turn me into a pancake if I don't calm her down!" Wario thought panicked as he needed to cheer her up and fast.

"Uh… hey Ashley! What do you want the great Wario to do for you?" he said hastily as Ashley looked up.

"Oh… um…" she thought, not knowing what she really wanted from the portly man.

Ashley's impressions of Wario were that he was strong, intuitive, funny, and surprisingly nice, as he seemed to care about her feeling embarrassed, and honestly, Ashley liked the man's confidence… as she didn't have any herself.

Also she liked his mustache, as she thought it kinda cool.

With all this in mind, there was only one thing she wanted from Wario.

Ashley faintly blushed as she asked shyly.

"...will you be my friend?"

"Eh?" Wario couldn't believe his ears.

It looked like this girl was an entirely different person from the one 5 minutes ago, and honestly Wario didn't like girls with mood swings like hers (like a certain redhead pizza girl) but if he denied her, things wouldn't turn out good for him at all.

Knowing this, Wario gulped and nodded.

"Of course! Wario will be your friend Ashley! Wahaha…" he said with his usual gusto, but internally regretting it.

Ashley's eyes widened in happiness, she had finally done it.

"...Really? Are... you sure?" she said, as her mind was filled with ecstasy from making a new friend, but still had some doubt about if Wario actually meant it.

Wario nodded.

"Would Wario ever lie?" he said, crossing his fingers behind his back.

Ashley's cheeks were bright red, both in happiness and relief.

"Oh… thank you Wario… you're the first friend I ever made… well… other than Red…" she said as Wario quirked an eyebrow.

"Red?" he said as Ashley threw her wand into the air.

The wand turned into the cheerful red devil as he looked happy to see Wario as well.

"Hiya big guy! I'm Red! Nice to meet ya!" he said as he shook hands with Wario as he scratched the back of his head.

"Wahaha... hello…" he said, freaked out by everything that happened so far.

Ashley took this opportunity to walk next to Wario and stare at his face closely, as the burly man looked uncomfortable.

"Uh..." Wario groaned as he stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

She seemed to be staring at every part of his face with wide-eyes, almost as if he was like a zoo-animal or something, as Wario felt more and more creeped out every second.

When he looked up at Red, he simply smiled at Wario as he started to take out a jawbreaker and swallow it whole.

Wario wanted to go home.

"Mama mia… why do I always get the weirdos to be my friends… eh… at least i'm not a newt or something…" he said as the young girl merely blinked at him.

"Well… Ashley, nice to meet you… but I need to go." he said as Ashley frowned.

"Oh… leaving so soon? Don't you want to stay…?" she said sadly as she didn't want her new friend to go home already.

Wario nodded, "Yeah… not today. Wario's gotta a busy day tomorrow…" he said hastily as he made his way for the door, wanting to forget about this place and have some garlic and parmesan gelato, when the door he broke down earlier suddenly repaired itself, and had two angry-looking skull locks attached to it.

Wario yelped with fright and looked behind him.

Ashley's hair was snow-white again, her face having the same anger as before as she began to point his wand at him.

"Wario… you're not going to leave… just yet…" she said, threatening the portly biker as he nodded in fright.

"Oh! Uh… of course not Ashley… wahahaha…" he said shakily as Ashley's mood suddenly changed.

"...yay." she said as she grabbed Wario's hand and led him towards the mansion's interior, all the while Wario screaming internally.

Wario was forced to listen to Ashley's drawn out "tour" of her home, as he could barely hear her mumbling, and quite honestly, was getting more and more freaked out every passing second by this place.

Although Wario wasn't a coward, he knew that living portraits, ghosts flying around everywhere, and a creepy doll staring at him with a strange smile wasn't the most pleasant thing, but even more scary than that was Ashley, as her temper was something else entirely.

Ashley felt happy that Wario wanted to stay, she didn't want him to leave so soon… and besides, maybe she could convince him to stay here… for a little while longer…

"'s the kitchen…" she said as she led him towards the main dining hall.

It was spacious and grand, but Ashley only used the one chair near the back to eat, and Red usually ate candy whenever she wasn't looking, which meant that Ashley ate by herself usually.

Wario's stomach grumbled as he hasn't eaten in 30 minutes, and felt starved.

"Uh… Ashley… you got any snacks?" he said, hoping to appease his hunger.

Ashley stared at Wario with a blank expression, before smiling softly.

"...yes. I do." she said as Wario sweated awkwardly.

She made him sit on the chair directly next to where she sits, as she told Red to keep an eye on Wario as she went to bring some food from the kitchen.

Wario stared at the wall awkwardly, knowing fully well that the young witch was probably going to turn him into a spoon or something if he doesn't obey, as Wario looked for a way out.

"Mama mia…" he cursed as he hoped to just get outta here as soon as possible.

He glanced at the red demon, who was eating gummy worms (that seemed to be wriggling), as he knew he would be no help.

He looked around for another moment before noticing the main entrance, where he had come from.

"Excellent!" he cheered internally.

If he could make it out there, his bike would be waiting for him, and he could tear outta this place and never think of this terrible experience ever again.

Cackling to himself, he was about to run as fast as he could as Ashley suddenly came back.

"...phooie." he thought as now he couldn't leave.

Ashley carried two large trays of food surrounded in a metal cover as she approached the table, it seemed as though she was humming a small tune to herself as she did so and presented Wario with his meal.

He smiled awkwardly at her, not expecting a banquet, but hoping to appease her short temper, gave her a thumbs-up.

"It smells… excellent…" he said with a wavy grin causing Ashley to smile faintly.

"Thank you… I cooked everything myself…" she said with some pride as Wario now knew that she made it, so any complaints made to the chef would probably result in his end.

Wario groaned internally as Ashley took the time to stare at her new friend.

Just knowing that someone other than Red was going to eat with her… gave her great joy, and caused her to work very hard on this meal, as she wanted to impress Wario with her cooking skills so maybe he could stay a little longer…

She had a great impression on her new friend, it seemed as though he liked it here… as he didn't run away in terror even after meeting some of the ghosts that lived here, didn't disobey her, and he even wanted to eat with her…

She giggled to herself quietly in happiness… but to Wario it sounded extremely creepy and freaked him out even more.

"GET ME OUTTA HERE." was all his mind was saying as he shook his head.

"Well… look on the bright side… at least i'm getting something to eat…" he thought, one of the few positive things to come out of this experience.

He uncovered his meal… to find something not normal staring at him with cold, empty eyes.

It was a weird looking garlic-plant thing, with a side of what seemed to be oysters… but oysters with glowing red eyes Wario's never seen before.

Wario almost screamed, but he held it in with the last of his courage.

Nervously he asked, "What... is this by the way?", poking the mandrake with his fork as Ashley blinked.

"...roasted mandrake root with oysters… the exploding kind." she said as that was her favorite meal that she ate only on special occasions… like eating with a friend.

Wario felt his appetite drop, something that has never happened before as he truly didn't want to eat something like this.

"Uh… Ashley…" he said as Ashley began to almost animalistically tear into the oysters, ripping their shells apart with her knife and scooping the flesh inside with the utmost precision.

Wario watched in horror as the tiny girl ate everything on her plate, leaving the mandrake for last as she cut it into tiny pieces and enjoyed every single bite.

She patted her mouth with her napkin before burping cutely.

"...excuse me…" she said quietly as Wario only had one word for what he had just saw.


Wario had to eat his plate, or else risk invoking Ashley's rage again, so his simply opened his gullet wide and swallowed everything whole, even when the oysters exploded within his gut, he smiled as he burped out smoke.

"It's… excellent." he gave her a shaky thumbs-up as Ashley giggled gently.

"Ah… thank you… i'm so happy… you liked it..." she said with a serene smile as Wario now wanted to leave even faster.

After the meal, Wario was dragged by Ashley to her potion brewing room, where she said she could make anybody into almost anything, then to her mandrake garden, where he gave him some earplugs as to not die when she uprooted one, and finally made it back to her bedroom, where Wario took a moment to compose herself.

"Wah… hah… this girl is crazy!" he thought, knees shaking as Ashley was smiling to herself in joy.

"...Wario's a great friend… I wish he never leaves…" she said as Wario wanted to leave.

The clock struck midnight as Wario looked excited.

"Oh! Look at the time Ashley! Time to go to sleep! Good night!" he said briskly, walking as fast as he could towards the door as Ashley tilted her head.

"Oh… you don't need to go home Wario… you can stay here as long as you want…" she said as Wario's face stopped dead in his tracks, his face turning pale white.

"Wah…?" he squeaked as he turned around slowly, in dread.

Ashley had a small smile on her face as she walked towards Wario with small steps, her hands clasped together next to her chest as the large biker bit his hand in terror.

"'re my… friend… a very good friend… I don't want you to leave… I can feed you, take care of you, and we can be together…" she said slowly, as Wario's eyes widened with trepidation at every word.

She stopped directly in front of him, taking his large hand into her tiny ones and looked innocently into Wario's distressed eyes as she finished her sentence.


That one word caused Wario to officially break character (oh now he breaks character) and scream as loud as he possibly could.

He broke down the door that Ashley had locked previously with her magic through his terror and desperation alone.

She stood still for a moment, tilting her head to one side, confused at to what just happened.


The brave, muscular treasure-hunter was running for his life screaming at the top of his lungs towards the exit as fast as he could.

Wario has taken down huge genies, killer clowns, and possessed spirits of demons long ago, but nothing, nothing, has ever frightened him like Ashley just did a moment ago.

"I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!" was the only thought in his mind as he made it to the front entrance.

"There it is! The entrance!" he said in glee as he was about to get out of the haunted mansion and never ever come bac-


Mamma mia.

The owner of the haunted mansion was staring at Wario with a confused yet 7 expression on her face, as she didn't know why her new friend wanted to leave so suddenly.

"Where are you going?" she said as Wario bit down on his fingers in fear.

"Oh… uh Ashley… I... uh…" he said, racking his head for an excuse.

Ashley stared at Wario (who looked quite disheveled) as she started to feel… the same feeling she's felt from everyone else who came across her emanating from the man…


Ashley began to worry to herself as her hair turned more and more pale as she talked to herself, feeding the old fear.

"He… wants to leave… he's scared… he'll never come back…"

Wario saw Ashley becoming more and more worried, her anxiety caused Wario to become even more scared.

"Wah… she's not playing around! I'm gonna turn into day-old bread if I don't come up with something… ah-ha!" Wario said, coming up with a genius plan.

Ashley was about to transform into her white-haired state, when Wario suddenly interrupted her.

"Wait! Ashley!" Wario said, getting the witch's attention.

She stared at Wario with wide eyes, hoping that he would say something similar to what she was thinking of.

Wario was going to make an excuse about his garlic addiction causing him unable to stay with the witch, but looking into her bright, red eyes, that was so full of yearning, Wario knew he couldn't lie, it would just make things worse.

Wario gulped heavily and sighed as he did something he doesn't do often, tell the truth.

"Ashley… i'm not gonna lie… you creep me out. We're not friends, and we never were friends. I came into your house looking for treasure, and not a little girl and her devil pal. Just because you're strong doesn't mean you can make friends by threatening to turn them into newts or kitchen utensils… it's not gonna work… ever." he said as the little girl listened to him silently.

"Also, you have to learn that asking people to stay with you forever in a haunted mansion… is not ever a good thing… at least, to a lotta people." he said as Ashley was dead silent.

For a moment, it seemed as though Ashley would freak out, her expression was unreadable as her aura began to grow bigger and bigger every second.

Wario covered his head, his final thoughts were of his friends and his purple-wearing partner, as he accepted his demise.

But almost as if by magic, Ashley understood.

"Oh… I see…" she said as she calmed down, her temper disappearing with Wario's honesty.

Wario opened one eye and breathed a huge sigh of relief that he wasn't turned into day-old bread.

"Phew! For a second, I thought things would go horribly wrong…" he said as he heard sniffling coming from behind him.

With a expression full of sorrow, he saw the all-powerful witch, one of the few people to legitimately fill him with fear, crying like…

"A little girl…" Wario said, pity in his voice, his normally angry face turning almost… concerned as he realized maybe he was too harsh on her.

Ashley was devastated, she knew that her fantasy would never come true, her thoughts about having someone be her friend because they wanted to… was simply too far-fetched.

She had Red, but he was young, almost baby-like at times, and he was more concerned with his own life to tend to Ashley 24/7.

If Wario left… she would be all alone again… and she didn't want that…

She didn't feel the same anger consume her anymore, she was just tired… and sad.

She sniffled to herself for awhile, wondering why she was cursed to be alone for all eternity when…

"Uh… Ashley…"

She looked up.

Wario was looking at her, a sheepish look present on his face as he stood over her, hand on the back of his head.

"Listen… maybe Wario overreacted too much… he's just… not used to someone who's stronger than him or can turn him into a spoon…" he said, mumbling that last part as the witch listened quietly.

"You may not have the best social skills… or good taste in food, and your interior decorating could use some work, but that's besides the point, all i'm saying is… you seem to care about me… showing me around, feeding me, and offering a me a place to crash… and that's a lot more than what most people has ever done for me… ever." he said, a soft smile on his face.

Ashley's mind was racing, her chest was tightening with an anxious yet happy emotion as she saw the burly man give her his hand.

"Let's be friends Ashley. Wario would love to." he said, giving her a bright smile.

For a moment, all was silent, Ashley couldn't believe what he was saying.

This man, who was obviously afraid of her… her temper… her power, wanted to be her friend… willingly, with no reason other than he wanted to.

Ashley looked at Wario with wide, bright eyes, this man was giving her something that no other person has done for her before, her classmates, her mother, or even Red…

He gave her hope.

She felt grateful tears stream down her cheeks as she embraced him by surprise, Wario eliciting a startled grunt as he barely heard what the girl said next.

"Thank you… thank you Wario…" she said shakily, her eyes closed in joy, tears slowly leaking out, as her mouth was in a half-smile, she held him as tightly as she could, almost as if he would disappear if she didn't, indebted to his kindness.

Wario stared at the tiny girl, her arms barely made it around his waist but he stared at her with a mellow expression as he kneeled down and held her back gently.

"Heh… of course… Wario is number one…" he said softly as they stayed like that for a moment.

Ashley let go slowly as she smiled at Wario happily, a truly untroubled smile as Wario grinned at her as well, wiping away her tears as she looked up to him with a new outlook on life.

Ashley saw the heavyset man leave as she waved him goodbye, thinking about the next time she could see her new friend again.

Out of nowhere, Red popped up as he watched Wario leave.

"Oh… my head… I ate too much candy…" he said dizzily as Ashley stared at Red.

"Red. Come here." she said, as the tiny devil obeyed.

She whispered something into his ear so only he could hear as his eyes widened in shock.

"Wha… what?! Really?! No way!" he said as Ashley smiled.

"Hah… I can't wait until he comes back... maybe we don't need to capture those kindergartners after all Red…" she said as they stared into the distance, as the sun was coming up.

"...what do you think Wario wants for lunch…?" she said, already making plans for the near future.

After that, Wario visited Ashley's mansion from time to time, her mood swings can set Wario on a panicked spree of playing weird games with her, but at the end of the day, Wario knows that she's been through a lot, and he's genuinely happy to see her smile, as he also knows the feeling of being alone and hated by everybody… and also pretty happy to stay his handsome burly self and not be turned into a frog or something…

And when he invited her to be the next member of Warioware, she agreed shyly, as she was getting better at being social, but still was quite bashful around new people.

The cold breeze suddenly turned quite warm as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Heh… that's girl a handful… but she needs friends… it's not good for someone to be alone forever…" Wario sighed as he missed his purple-wearing partner... sometimes.

He then saw a half-eaten apple on the ground and thought of another weird friend he made.

"The good doctor…" Wario said as the elongated cranium of Dr. Crygor filled Wario's mind.

It was by pure chance that Wario stumbled upon Dr. Crygor.

He recently moved into Diamond City and needed a ride.

"Excellent. My car broke down…" he said angrily.

He was speeding on his personal car, the Brute, when a random banana peel was in the road and caused him to skid out of control and crash into some trees.

"It's gonna take Wario hours to get home from here…" he grumbled when he heard a loud noise from above.

Wario looked up to see the butt of a man wearing a yellow jumpsuit coming towards him as they both screamed.

Wario felt his head meet the ground at 90 mph, and he felt dizzy.

"Oh… mamma mia…" he said as he got up.

Wario's vision was blurry as he saw the man who landed on him also look dizzy.

"Hm… that experiment with the jet-pack didn't work quite as planned…" he mumbled as Wario grabbed him.

"Hey! What do think you're doing?! No one sits on Wario and gets away with it!" he said, ready to knock some sense into the guy.

The strange man didn't look frightened however, he just seemed to look at Wario curiously.

"Hm… interesting…" he mumbled as Wario shook him.

"Hey! Are you listening I said-!" he started before the man shoved a jack-fruit in his mouth.

"Hold this." he said as Wario wasn't prepared for the large fruit to be shoved in his mouth as he let go of the man to deal with the fruit.

Wario grimaced at the fruit's spikiness, but managed to open his jaw wide enough to take a large bite out of it.

"Hm… not bad…" he admitted to himself before eating the rest of it, as he liked free stuff.

After finishing the impromptu snack, he looked at the strange man, still upset, but now more annoyed than actually angry.

"Alright, that's enough! Now leave Wario alone you…" he started as Wario looked at his car.

The strange man fixed it within the short duration of time he managed to eat the jack-fruit, and made it look even better.

"Wah…?!" he said in shock as the strange man did a weird dance.

"Ohohoho… you interest me Mr. Wario… so I fixed your car! It is now the Wario-Mobile! And it is fantabulous!" he said as Wario shoved the man outta the way so he could get in.

"Oh…! Not bad!" Wario said as he laughed.

He looked at the strange man and gave him a large toothy grin.

"Thanks weirdo!" he said as the weirdo laughed.

"You are welcome friend! But please, call me Dr. Crygor. Now if you don't mind…" he said as he pulled a cord on his jumpsuit and inflated into the size of a balloon, and started to float away.

Wario stared at the strange doctor as he shook his head.

"Well… at least my car is fixed!" he laughed as he sped away, flames emerging off of his tire marks.

After the first meeting, Dr. Crygor also invented Wario his signature bike, and made other inventions for his friends.

Later, he created Mike, a cleaning robot who could also sing while he was at it, and Wario took it upon himself to offer the karaoke machine a job as he needed a janitor and he could sing pretty darn good (although Wario was the best singer he knew).

Although he was very eccentric, if Wario was ever in a pinch, he knew that Dr. Crygor probably had an invention he could use to get him out of it and if he didn't, he could just make one! And he could also invent some pretty decent (if not strange) games!

"Heh… he is quite weird… but then again, who isn't in this entire city?" Wario thought as he looked at the crashed spaceship.

"Speaking of weirdos…" Wario said, thinking of the pin-headed alien.

Orbulon literally crashed into Wario's life one day.

It was a lazy day, Wario was scratching his butt, watching TV, when a giant pig head-shaped spaceship plowed into the side of Wario's bathroom, as the man spared a passing glance at who did it.

"Man…" Wario groaned as he got up to beat the garlic outta whoever broke into his home.

"Alright, I don't care who you are get out so I can beat you up!" Wario yelled as something did pop out.

The dizzy form of a weird alien who can only be described as a walking bowling pin with dark sunglasses and large boots came out and fell face-first onto Wario's floor.

"Great." Wario thought as he hefted the alien up and threw him onto the couch.

Wario went into his training room and pulled out a long stretch of rope he uses to train with, and tied the alien up.

"When he wakes up, i'm gonna…" Wario thought as suddenly, the alien did wake up.

He looked surprised at being tied up and struggled with the ropes.

He spoke some weird alien language as Wario got his attention.

"Hey bozo! Can you speak not in TV static?" he said as Orbulon blinked.

Wario then saw him do something… unearthly, as he could now speak to Wario regularly, albeit with a heavy alien accent.

"Can… you… remove… bindings… please…?" he pleaded as Wario shook his head.

"Oh… i'll remove them alright… as soon as you pay me for what you did with my bathroom!" he cried in anger as Orbulon understood.

"Orbulon… understands… odorous man… requests… compensation..." he said as he made some eerie noise with his mouth that made Wario cover his ears.

"Wah…?! What the…?" he said as suddenly a swarm of space rabbits appeared from the sky and landed in his living room.

Wario's eyes widened as literally hundreds of the tiny creatures were surrounding him.

"Hey…! What are you…?!" Wario said in anger as Orbulon appeared to be speaking to them.

After a minute, the space rabbits understood and all raced into the bathroom.

Wario was trampled underneath the rabbits as they all stepped over them to make it to the spaceship as he was flattened into a pancake.

It took him a moment, but Wario returned to his handsome state as he looked over at his bathroom.

"Wah?" he said in shock as his entire bathroom was returned to normal, and the alien's spaceship was gone.

Wario felt relieved that no one was gonna bother him when he needs to go to the can and went over to the alien.

He looked tired as Wario rolled his eyes and untied him.

"Well… you did fix my wall… now get outta here!" he said as Orbulon nodded.

"Thank… you… earthling… you… will… be… spared… when… the… plan… comes… to… fruition…" he said as Orbulon teleported out of Wario's home and hopefully, out of his life.

However, this was not the case, as Orbulon stayed in Diamond City for whatever reason and… did things all over the place, however, Wario saw some use in the strange alien and made him into a member of Warioware after realizing his intellect could come in handy one day.

"Very... special guy… but smart, and that's saying something because Wario's the smartest there is!" he smiled as he realized it was now night time.

"Oh great. Now i'm cold, hungry, and it's night… grr… I could use a ride…" he said as, almost by chance, a familiar looking pair of taxi drivers showed up.

"Ey Wario! Over here!" said Dribble, his face showing a big grin and Spitz looked happy to see him as well.

Wario blinked before smiling with his mouth open.

"Excellent!" he said as he got in, as the two taxi drivers stepped on it.

"Well… thanks for the ride… but I didn't need you to come pick me up… Wario could've walked home!" he said arrogantly as the cabbies laughed.

"Sure Wario. Tough guy like you, I don't think anything can phase ya!" Dribble barked as Spitz nodded.

"Yup! Like that time Dribble taught you how to drive!" he reminded as Wario looked embarrassed.

"Wah?! Hey…! Don't remind me…" he said as Dribble laughed.

"Hah! Remind you? How could we forget?! You almost caused us to blast into outer space by how fast we were going! Good thing Orbulon was in our way or else we would've been space food!" he shivered as Wario felt angered by the mention of Orbulon.

"Oh yeah! That guy! I crashed into his ship but he wasn't inside… just his dummy…" Wario remembered as Dribble guffawed.

"Oh yeah! Orbulon said his buddy was testing out some new modifications to his spaceship! That dummy was used to simulate what would happen to him if he crashed!" he said as Wario was confused.


"Oh, don't worry about him. Anyways we were gonna pick you up at your place but…" Dribble started as Spitz finished.

"You weren't at home, and nobody knew where you were!"

Wario listened to this but got angry.

"Of course not! That stupid lock threw me miles away from Warioware, and Jimmy put it there!" he said as Dribble looked guilty.

"Oops…" he said as Spitz looked guilty as well.

"What…? Why do you look like you ate some nasty garlic?" Wario said as Dribble scratched his head.

"Well…" Dribble started as Spitz finished.

"We put that lock there… so you wouldn't spoil the surprise." he said as Wario's face turned red.

"You…! Why would you lock me out of work! What made you…" he said as Wario thought about what Spitz said.

"Wait… surprise?" he said as Spitz nodded.

"Well… cat's outta the bag I guess…" he said as Dribble looked at Wario.

"We wanted to keep it a secret, everyone wanted you outta the way so Dr. Crygor built that lock to throw you miles away if you tried to break in, and told us where you were so we could pick you up." he revealed as Wario stared at them with a bewildered expression.

"Wah…? But wait… I thought this party was for someone special and you guys kept me out on purpose…" he said confusedly as Dribble laughed at him.

"Oh Wario. Same as usual… you really don't know why we're doing this do you?" he said as Wario shook his head.

"No… what is it?" he said as suddenly the car stopped.

"We're here." he said as Wario got out.

It was Warioware, but the lights were out.

"Wah? I thought there was gonna be a party or something…" he said as Dribble nodded.

"There is a party… but we were waiting for you." he said as Wario stood still.

"...wah…? Me?!" he said befuddled as Dribble and Spitz led Wario to the entrance.

The lock was still there but when it saw Wario, it grew legs and walked away.

"...Wario is not gonna question that…" he said as Dribble and Spitz walked inside.

"Oh yeah… before you go inside…" Dribble said as he brought out something.

It was a nice black suit with matching slacks and shoes, and they looked really clean as well.

"We got ya this… can't have you showing up in well… that…" Dribble snickered as Wario noticed his clothes were filthy… well, at least more than usual.

"Alright… alright… I get it. Give me a second would ya?" he said gruffly, but still thankful that the taxi driver provided him with something.

Dribble gave him a large grin as he laughed heartily.

"Don't wait up boss!" they beckoned as Wario dressed within seconds.

Making sure he looked as good as always, he took a deep breath and went inside his building slowly.

The first thing he noticed was that his hallways were off, which was strange as it was almost always lit (as how could someone work in the dark) but tonight, it was entirely off.

"What's going on around here…?" Wario thought as he heard hushed whispering coming from the main meeting hall.

"Guys…?" Wario said curiously as he opened the door slowly and...


"Wah?!" he cried, startled, as the lights suddenly flashed on.

Wario was completely taken off-guard as all of his friends popped out of nowhere and cheered loudly for him.

Wario had to take a moment to look around, but everyone was here.

Jimmy was looking at Wario with a cool grin, wearing a party hat, Mona was wearing a spectacular dress with a bright smile on her face, Kat and Ana were wearing cute party hats as they blew into party streamers, 9-Volt, 5-Volt, and 18-Volt were all wearing party hats as well as they started to play a 8-bit version of his theme song, Ashley and Red were both wearing party hats, with Ashley wearing a white cardigan with a brown skirt and hat as she shyly clapped for Wario, while Red hooted and hollered loudly, Dr. Crygor was clapping very fast with his enhanced arms, looking more upgraded than usual as Mike was in the background, manning the karaoke machine with the space bunnies he made friends with, Orbulon cheered in his native language that reminded Wario of a ceiling fan, and Dribble and Spitz gruffly clapped with large smiles on their faces.

Wario was stunned, all of his employees… no his friends, were all here to celebrate Wario's birthday and he didn't even know.

"Happy birthday man." Jimmy said coolly as Wario looked around.

"Yeah! Happy birthday Mr. Wario!" Kat and Ana said happily as they blew into their party streamers.

"Happy birthday Wario! Today's your day to get another 1-up... in your age!" 9-Volt said cheerily as 18-Volt nodded.

"Yes indeed Wario. Happy day of your birth, your 25th year if I am not mistaken." Dr. Crygor said, almost as if he was conducting an experiment, as Mike sang a soprano for Wario with much passion.

"Happy… day… of… your… existence… Wario…" Orbulon said with a medium-sized grin, his accent still heavy.

"Yeah! Happy Birthday Boss!" Dribble said gruffly as Spitz nodded.

Wario took the congratulations heartily as he was suddenly glomped by Mona.

"Happy Birthday you big lug!" she said as she kissed him on the nose happily.

Wario blushed heavily as he was overcome with joy.

"Now, now Mona. Don't give our birthday boy too much excitement now hm?" 5-Volt said as Mona blushed.

"Sorry… I couldn't wait! I just wanted to give him his gift now!" she said as she nuzzled Wario before letting him go.

Wario got up, face still flushed, as 5-Volt smiled good-naturedly.

"Happy Birthday Wario! I baked you a cake!" she said as she revealed to him a massive 7-layer cake filled with (edible) toppings, creams, and fruits, all of Wario's favorites.

Wario felt his mouth water as he cheered.

"Excellent!" he laughed as there was one more person left.

Ashley blushed shyly as she walked up to Wario slowly.

All of Wario's other friends gave her space as she walked up to the burly biker, her hands behind her back.

"Um…" she said, cheeks flushed as she wasn't used to being the center of attention.

Wario could see Red cheering in the background as Ashley took a deep breath.

"Wario…" she said quietly as the man looked at her.

"I…" she stammered as Wario grinned softly.

"Don't be afraid… what is it?" he said as Ashley gulped.

"I… uh… well…" she looked like a tomato at this point.

A moment passed, then two, then three, before Ashley quickly hugged Wario in front of all of the employees as she told him softly.

"Happy birthday… I… um… really... care about you…" she stammered before letting go and kissing him very quickly on his cheek.

Wario was stunned silent at her affection for him as the other employees started "awwing" as Dr. Crygor looked like he was about to cry.

Ashley looked at Wario, some worry present in her face for what she had just done, as even some tears began to well in her eyes, as Wario didn't say a word, shocked at what just happened.

His employees stared at him silently, their faces were turning concerned as Wario himself began to feel something inside of him that he thought he never had.

A heart.

It doesn't matter what he has done before, he's knows he not perfect, that he is greedy, and selfish, and sometimes, he doesn't care about his employees, but that was all because of one thing.

He was afraid.

Afraid that no one would like him… because he's short, or fat, or ugly, like everyone else called him, like his mother called him.

But everything changed when he came to Diamond City, he made genuine friends, people who care about him, people who want to see him happy, and not just because he's his boss, but because they see the real Wario underneath his bad habits, the Wario that would play games with kindergarteners, the Wario who gives them money to fix their cab when their it broke down, or when they needed help because a pizza company was harassing them, or when they needed a friend when they had none.

These people truly cared about Wario and even set this whole party up just because they care about him so much, Jimmy, Mona, Kat and Ana, 9-Volt, 5-Volt, 18-Volt, Dr. Crygor, Mike, Orbulon, Dribble and Spitz, Red, and...

"Ashley…" Wario said softly with as much care as he could muster as he hugged her gently, causing the young witch to gasp softly in surprise.

"I care about you too… so don't cry…" he said as she tried… but because of the happiness she felt, she couldn't let the tears stop.

"Oh… Wario…" she said as gratefully as she could as she hugged Wario back, having most of the Warioware employees have happy tears in their eyes as well.

"Who would've guessed… ol' Wario really does have a heart after all…" Jimmy said, taking off his sunglasses to wipe his eyes.

"I'm not crying… you're crying…!" Dribble howled as he held Spitz who was similarly in tears.

"My word… not in my wildest hypotheses did I predict this would happen…" Dr. Crygor cried as he blew into a tissue heavily as Mike leaked oil from his eyes.

"Aw… Mr. Wario's so nice…" Kat and Ana said as they were reminded of their own father.

"Oh man… Wario… I think that you're my favorite character now…" 9-Volt said, wiping his tears as 5-Volt held her son happily as 18-Volt held back tears as well.

"How unexpected." Orbulon said as blue liquid began to stream from his eyes.

"..." Mona said nothing as she was too busy trying not to cry, holding her mouth and watching her crush hold the small girl gently, her own love for him skyrocketed as he knew that he was not only super cool, but super caring as well.

Red watched this as he saw his best friend hold Wario as he sniffed as well.

"Heh… i'm happy for you Ashley… you finally found what you were looking for…" he said as he floated silently.

Wario and Ashley stayed like that for a moment, before they let go and Wario wiping Ashley's tears away.

"No more crying… ok? I'm here… and you will never be alone again…" he said as Ashley sniffled and nodded.

"Thank you…" she said as the other employees all started to give the young witch words of encouragement and friendship.

She smiled brightly as she gave Wario his present, a small box of skull-shaped chocolates with a large bow attached to it.

"I made this for you… because I think you're really sweet… teehee…" Ashley giggled as Wario laughed.

"Thank you Ashley! Wario is very sweet and handsome too!" he announced with much gusto as the young witch laughed sweetly.

But soon after this, Wario felt something jump on him and send him throttling towards the back of the room.

"Mona?!" Wario yelped in surprise as the peppy high-schooler had hearts in her eyes.

"Oh Wario! " she said with deep affection as she began to pepper him with kisses all around the sturdy man's face as Wario blushed heavily at her affection.

The other employees blushed and looked away to give them some room but Ashley stared at the two with a tense expression.

For some reason, Ashley felt angered by Mona's actions and felt… new emotions that she's never felt before well up inside of her…

She ignored it however and gave Wario and Mona their space, going back to Red as he was watching Ashley with an all-knowing grin.

"Ah… wait a minute... Mona!" Wario cried in surprise as she giggled.

"What is it handsome…?" she said with a sultry expression as Wario looked at her, heart thumping.

"I know it's my birthday and all but you don't need to give me this many birthday kisses…" he said as Mona giggled.

"Why? Don't you like it big guy…?" she said as Wario blushed even harder.

"Wah… er… I mean… uh…" he said, tongue twisted as Mona held his hands and looked at him.

She looked like she was fighting with herself, her face showed conflict as Wario stared at her with some concern.

"Mona…?" he asked, brushing some of her hair away from her face.

Finally, she spoke.

"Wario… be honest... do you... ever.. think about me…?" she asked quietly, a delicate expression on her face as Wario gulped.

"Um… I…" Wario stammered, as he couldn't find the courage to answer as Mona put her head on his chest.

"Because I think about you… a lot…" she said as Wario looked at her amazed.

"Wah...? Really?" he asked incredulously, as Mona nodded.

"Ever since I met you I can't stop thinking about you, your huge muscles, your gorgeous smile, your wonderfully wicked mustache, your cute nose, and…" she said quietly.

"How much I would miss you if you were gone." she confided as Wario was stunned.

"Mona…" he started as the redhead sniffed for a moment before cheering up.

"But enough about that, I guess I should get off of you now huh boss?" she said, giving him the smile he so dearly loved as Wario nodded.

"Yeah… eh heh…" he said, feeling his heart thump for the high-schooler as she walked away, winking as she did.

After that, the party officially began, there was lots of dancing, eating, and games as well.

Jimmy was the first one to hit the dance floor, showing his smooth moves as Mike sang his signature theme song as Dr. Crygor danced in the corner, a single rose in his mouth as the others awkwardly laughed at him.

9-Volt and 18-Volt invited Kat and Ana to play WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$! with them (Wario picked the title himself) as they were totally crushed by Kat and Ana's teamwork.

"Wow! We don't even play games but we still won!" Ana said as Kat smiled arrogantly.

"Of course sis, no one can beat us at anything if we work together, isn't that right helmet-head?" she teased 9-Volt as he looked at her angrily.

"Grr… just you wait! We'll get you back!" he said as they had a stare-off… before his mother interrupted them.

"9-Volt! Stop staring at your girlfriend and get me some fruit punch!" she said, breathing softly as she had just finished dancing with the eccentric doctor, who looked utterly exhausted and passed out on the ground.

9-Volt blushed extremely hard as he yelled.

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" he said, screaming as he ran away, 18-Volt hurriedly following up behind him.

Ana giggled at 9-Volt's actions as she noticed Kat had a tiny blush on her cheeks.

"Sis…?" Ana said curiously as her sister snapped out of it.

"Huh?! Oh… what is it Ana?" she said as her sister smiled.

"Never mind…" she said as 9-Volt had dunked his entire face on the punch bowl, causing Dr. Crygor to moan in despair.

Orbulon was working behind-the-scenes with the space bunnies, as apparently his birthday present to Wario required some work.

Dribble and Spitz were sitting by themselves, eating some snacks as they chatted merrily.

Red was gorging himself on the free food, 5-Volt's cooking was no joke, as he ate snack after snack without pause.

"Best… birthday… ever!" he said happily as Ashley nodded.

"Yes… it… really is…" she said as she thought about her own birthdays.

Nobody came to her parties of course, and her mother didn't care at all, but she would still make believe, bringing her bunny doll and some other toys her mother bought her when she was very young, before her father left and never came back, and she always wished for the same three things.

"I wish I had a lot of friends that will play with me everyday, that I could live in a huge mansion so I can throw them the biggest parties, and… for mom to be… happy when she sees me…"

Ashley's eyes were blank when she was thinking about her past before Kat and Ana were trying to talk to her.

"Ashley…? Ashley?! You in there?" Kat said as she snapped her fingers at her.

The young witch looked up, her mind now clear, as the two ninja kindergartners smiled at her.

"Oh! You're still here, for a second there, I thought you were casting a creepy spell of something…" she said as Ana looked shocked.

"Kat! Don't say that! Ashley's spells aren't creepy… they're… um… special…" she said as Kat looked guilty.

"Ah-ha… oops… sorry…" she said as Ashley looked at them.

They were concerned for her, for her well-being, and wanted to check up on them.

In fact, now that she realized it, everyone within Warioware cared about her, more than anyone else in her life ever did.

She thought that she was the reason that her mother hated her, that no one loved her because she didn't deserve it… and so she closed her feelings away from others, and cared only for power before Wario came into her life.

But now, she can look around and see her co-workers… no… her friends… and not feel like she doesn't deserve anything, and that they want to see her grow up and be happy.

It was at this point Ashley felt lighter, her thoughts of her past were beginning to drift away, and her heart was melting the ice she encased it in to never feel pain, ever again.

She thought of her mother one last time, and wished that she could just say just one thing to her.

"Mother… you're wrong… people do care about me… they do love me… and I wasn't the reason that we lived so miserably… it was you… and your self-loathing and inability to let go of the past that we were stuck like that… but it doesn't matter… not anymore… but I just hope some day… when i'm older… I can look at you in the eyes and do just one thing..." she thought as she smiled softly.

"Turn you into a spoon."

Her heart now free of the darkness that consumed her, she held Kat and Ana's hands as she wanted them to follow her.

"Come on… let's dance…" she said as they looked confused… but quickly smiled.

"Sure!" they said as they went on the dance floor.

Everyone was enjoying themselves as Wario sat down on a chair and looked at everyone's smiling faces.

"Heh… maybe I am a better friend than I thought…" he said with closed eyes as he felt someone next to him cough.

"Hey big guy, care for a dance?"

Mona held out a hand as Wario shook it off.

"Nah… i'm good…" he said as he knew that his "dancing" usually caused people to turn away than to stay.

Unfortunately for him, Mona didn't take no for an answer.

"Great! Let's go!" she said as Wario yelped in surprise.

"Wait! Mona!" he warned as Mike noticed Wario coming onto the dance floor and played a special song for him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen… Wario de Mambo!" he said as everyone began to dance rhythmically.

Wario knew this dance perfectly, but he had never done it with a partner before.

"Uh… Mona…? Are you sure this is a good idea?" he said as she looked at him and answered as honestly as she could.

"Nope! But who cares!" she said cheerfully as Wario chuckled.

The two of them began to mambo as the speed picked up.

Although Wario wasn't the most graceful of dancers, Mona's cheerleading days helped the portly man to get into the rhythm as they began to danced energetically together, Wario being more and more confident as he began to do some… interesting moves.

"Oh yeah! Wario time!" he said excitedly as Mona giggled.

The speed was getting pretty fast as some dancers began to leave the floor, being exhausted at the high-energy dance.

"Huff-puff… that dance… is no piece of NaHCO3 Na2CO3 + H2O + CO2 (cake)!" Dr. Crygor said as he, once-again, passed-out.

"Ugh… I feel dizzy…" 9-Volt said as 18-Volt nodded.

In the course of a minute, dancer after dancer left, leaving only Jimmy and the duo of Wario and Mona left.

Ashley breathed heavily as Red had to use the little devil's room, his stomach wasn't feeling happy at him for eating that last slice of pizza.

Sweat was streaming down her face as she looked at Mona with anger.

"Why… am I feeling like this…?" she said, confused as she never felt any ill-intention towards her fellow-co-worker, until now.

The more she saw Mona and Wario dance, the more angry she felt.

"Grr… why can't she just…" she thought as she smiled deviously.

She mumbled under her breath, which caused the high-schooler to spin extremely fast, as Wario was taken for the ride.

"Woah Mona! Slow down!" he said as Mona cried.

"I can't! The groove was too fast!" she said as Wario knew what to do.

Using his entire body weight, he pressed his feet on the ground as he and Mona held hands as they began to slow down, but the action of them spinning caused them to tear dance floor apart… literally.

At the end, they made it to a complete stop as Wario held Mona as if it was the end of a tango.

Mona felt dizzy but after staring at the burly man's eyes, she felt better.

"Wow." Jimmy said, utterly impressed at what the duo did as he admitted defeat.

The other employees cheered for the duo as Red came out of the bathroom.

"Ugh… what did I miss?" he said as he saw Ashley flushed in anger and saw the duo on the dance floor.

"Oh… well… you know what they say! Early bird gets the wor-" Red said before being grabbed by Ashley tightly.

"Not. Another. Word." she said icily as the devil nodded, zipping his mouth.

Ashley let him go as she crossed his arms and stared at the peppy pizza delivery girl.

"You're toast." she said as the redhead felt a sudden chill run down her spine.

She ignored it however as she and Wario slumped onto a couch that so happened to be next to them and began to rest.

*huff puff* "What a dance! I showed them who was number one!" Wario said arrogantly as Mona pouted cutely.

"Er… we showed them…" he corrected as she smiled.

"That's better…" she said as nuzzled next to Wario.

The burly man still wasn't used to the affection, but he let it slide, just because he was so tired.

"Hah… you really are a great dancer Wario… I never met a guy with such stamina!" she said, stars in her eyes as Wario laughed.

"I think it's cause of all the garlic I eat… it's good for you!" he said as Mona pinched her nose.

"But it's stinky." she said teasingly as Wario scratched his head.

"Eh heh… well… yeah…" he said as Mona let go of her nose.

"But it's fine… you kinda get used to it after a while…" she said as she laid her head on his chest.

Wario opened his mouth to say something… but didn't.

They stayed like that for a moment, looking at the night sky through the window as Mona said something softly.

"Wario…" she said as the burly man looked at her.

"Mm-hm?" he said, as he absent-mindedly ran his fingers through her silky hair.

"Do you think… we can do this everyday…?" she said as Wario thought about it.

"Well… parties aren't cheap Mona. And my birthday's only once a year… but it would be nice if it was every day-" he started before Mona interrupted him.

"No! Not that…! I mean…" she sighed as she sat up.

"If we can stay… like this… just the two of us…" she said, a deep blush on her face as Wario felt the same.

"Oh." Wario said lamely as Mona continued.

"I… wasn't sure if today was the right day…to tell you... but after seeing what you did for Ashley earlier… treating her so nicely… made me think that you are the perfect guy for me… so…" she said gently as Wario's mind was running at a hundred miles a hour.

He couldn't make a coherent thought, not in his wildest fantasies did he think this would ever happen but he needed to make sure.

"So… does this mean… you like Wario?" he said as Mona looked at him shyly.

"Yes… I like you Wario…" she giggled as Wario began to grin.

"Oh… wow… that's uh…" he stammered as Mona waited patiently for his answer.

After taking a moment to think about, he decided to give her his answer.

"Mona… I…"


Wario was surprised at what he just heard from the high-schooler.

The redhead had fallen asleep, probably from the dancing she did earlier, as she looked very peaceful in her rest… minus the loud snoring.

Wario felt a little disappointed he couldn't answer, but he thought it was for the best.

"Heh… it's fine… even if it's only for one day, Wario doesn't mind…" he said as he got up gently and gave Mona his suit jacket as a makeshift blanket.

He watched her sleep peacefully as he gently placed a small kiss on her forehead.

"Good night… my princess…" he said as Mona smiled in her sleep.

He walked out, feeling completely at ease as Ashley looked at the passing man and hoped she stopped something from happening.

"Wow, do you think you made her go to sleep on time?" Red asked as Ashley held her chin, a small smile on her face.

"I hope so…" she said as she was going to talk to Wario when suddenly...

"Come on everyone! It's time for cake!" 5-Volt said like any mother would as Wario looked over at the cake hungrily.

"Excellent!" he said as he quickly walked over to the cake as he thought of Mona.

"Oh yeah! Gotta wake her up!" he said as Ashley giggled to herself.

"Mona… I hoped you enjoyed your rest… because that's the last thing you'll remember doing with him…" she said as she cast another spell at the girl, which caused her to wake up groggily.

"Oh… my head…" Mona complained as Wario shook her awake.

"Hey Mona! Come on! It's time for cake!" he said, grinning, as Mona looked at him confused.

"Wario…? What am I…?" she said as Wario quirked an eyebrow.

"Eh? You fell asleep… and… oh never mind! Just get over here already!" he said as Mona was still confused.

"What happened earlier…? I can't remember a thing…" she said as she realized she had a black suit jacket on her.

"Who's… is this…?" she said as she shook her head.

"I guess i'll find out later…" she said as she got up to follow Wario, Ashley watching her with a devious grin.

"It worked perfectly." she giggled mischievously as she went off to the dining room table.

When he got there, Wario sat down at the head of the table, with Mona and Ashley sitting directly next to him, Ashley giving Mona a small smile.

She still looked confused, but ignored it, figuring that she can find out what happened later.

Before Wario could cut the cake, he decided to give one final speech.

"Everyone… I can't tell you all how happy I am today… I never had a birthday party before today… and let me tell you, it's excellent!" he said causing everyone to laugh.

"You are all my great friends, and I deeply appreciate all you for putting up with me and my antics…" he said as most of them nodded, but they understood.

"I had some time to reflect on what I had done… and I realize… I wasn't treating the way your treated me… with respect." he said as they looked at him with concern.

"I… know i'm not the best boss… or even friend… but today made me realize that you guys are worth more to me than any treasure in the world…" he said as they looked at him silently.

"Because all of you… are the greatest treasures I ever found." he said as everyone was taken aback at Wario's heartfelt words.

"Oh Wario…" Mona said softly, her heart fluttering in joy.

"Man…" Jimmy said in shock, appreciating his old friend even more.

"Wario…" Ashley thought, her face showing a small smile at his kind words.

"Mr. Wario…" Kat and Ana said simultaneously, their eyes showing signs of held-back gratitude.

"Dude…" 9-Volt thought with a look of pure admiration as 18-Volt nodded.

"Unexpected." Dr. Crygor hummed, finding Wario more interesting due to this unforeseen development.

"Interesting…" Orbulon thought, his eyes widened in shock.

"Boss…" Dribble thought gratefully as Spitz nodded.

"Aw…" 5-Volt thought with a happy expression.

"Heh! Neat!" Red thought playfully as he was sucking on a lollipop.

"And... to make up for it, i'm going to raise everyone's paychecks by 500 coins each, and everyone will get it… on time!" he said as they all cheered.

"Let's hear it for Wario! The world's greatest boss and friend! Hip hip...!" Jimmy started as they all cried, "Hooray!'

They chanted this for a couple more moments as Wario closed his eyes and took a small breath, "Today's a new beginning for me… even though i'm never going to be perfect… I don't need to be, as long as they still want me to be here…" Wario thought calmly as his friends all looked at him with a bright smile and kind eyes.

"Now… let's eat some cake!" Wario said happily as they all agreed enthusiastically.

Wario cut the cake into 14 equal slices as he gave everyone a piece, and they all dug in after Wario took a bite.

And it was perfect.