IF YOU HAVENT REALIZED FROM THE DESCRIPTION, THIS IS SET IN THE UNIVERSE OF MY SERIES: THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL SAGA. THIS ONE-SHOT BEGINS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY AFTER CHAPTER 20(IN FFN'S COUNTING, 13 IN MINE) OF YEAR 5: HP AND THE DIRGE OF HOPE. MAKE SURE YOU'VE READ UP TO THERE BEFORE STARTING THIS.
WARNING: THIS ONE-SHOT WILL CONTAIN EXTREME TORTURE, MENTAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DEATH, GORE, DEHUMANIZATION, BRAINWASHING, AND RAPE. IT IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED.
I OWN NOTHING
Tonks wakes up in agony, her whole body shrieking in pain. She tries to sort through the last few hours, tries to remember what happened. The intense pounding in her head makes everything harder.
She had-she had been at Hogwarts. That was for sure. Dumbledore was going out, and he'd wanted extra security at the school.
And there had been a fight.
She groans, shifting her body in the darkness.
'Where am I? What happened?'
She runs her hands along the cold stone floor, trying to get some clue as to where she is. Something clinks and her hand closes on metal.
Her fingers stroke it, until her mind can paint a picture of what she's feeling.
She runs her hand along the chain until she comes to the wall.
A fearful suspicion starts rising in her. Sure enough, when she reaches the other end of the chain, she finds its attached to a collar around her neck.
'Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Where am I? Fuck, I'm fucked. Oh god'
It is at this point that she realizes, that other than the collar, she has no clothes on.
Panic rises, threatening to drown her. She bites down on her lip hard, allowing the pain to shock her. She breathes in deeply, thinking of nothing in particular, and breathes out again.
She repeats this process until her heartbeat starts to slow down.
'Ok. First things first focus on what happened. Remember where I am. Try figure out who put me here. Then focus on escape. Right'
She'd been fighting when the Death Eaters appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.
She gasps, as she remembers. She'd been fighting side by side with Remus, when Harry came rushing down the stairs leading to the Astronomy Tower, Death Eaters hot on his heels.
Remus had shouted out to Harry and turned.
Tears begin to leak down her face.
And she'd heard Harry laugh, as he tried to kill Remus.
The Killing Curse had missed, thank god. But-but Harry. How-how could he?
'Worry about that later. Focus on what happened. Where are you? Quickly. Before whoever put you here comes back'
She'd stood there for a few seconds, eyes wide, as Harry ran and Remus screamed.
And then-and then-
She'd been fighting Bellatrix.
And Bellatrix had been shouting something about what an embarrassment she was to the house of Black, how she would be taught how a Black should act.
And then she woke up here.
'Ok. So I've probably been captured by Bellatrix Lestrange herself. I'm going to die in the most painful way she can imagine unless I escape. Fuck it, let's do this. I'm the youngest fucking Auror in almost fifty years, and let's show my insane aunt why!'
She runs her hand to where the chain hooks onto the wall again and begins to feel around.
'Ok. Nothing there. Can't pull it out. But maybe'
She begins to collect the chain in her hand. When Bellatrix walks in, she'll throw it at her. All she needs is a second to grab the bitch's wand, and she can get out.
'And then what?'
She hears a loud metal scraping. Cracks of light start to appear at the opposite edge of the room.
She tenses her arm, preparing to throw.
The door opens fully, and a figure stepped into the gloom.
Immediately she throws the chain. But it doesn't even reach halfway to where Bellatrix is standing.
Light floods the room, burning her eyes.
"Hello, dearie. You're my newest toy. And we're going to have so, so much fun"
She opens her eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light.
Bellatrix is standing there, wand in hand, deranged smile on her face.
Despite herself, Tonks shivers.
"What's your name?"
'Give her nothing'
Tonks doesn't answer.
Bellatrix sighs, and her wand flashes.
And then Tonks is in the most pain she'd ever experienced. Worse than anything she'd ever even imagined possible. Every part of her body was screaming in agony.
And then it ends.
She lies there, shivering on the harsh floor, the collar cold against her neck.
"What's your name?"
"Fuck you, you crazy bitch" she spits.
Bellatrix waved her wand again.
The smallest bone in her left little finger breaks with a loud crack. As she watches, sickened, the bone just below it snaps. And then the next.
She vomits, warm pain spreading from her hand.
"No. No. No"
Something smashes her head down into the stone, rubbing it into her sick.
"What's your name, missy?"
"Tonks" she gasps, hating herself for even giving away something so insignificant.
She screams, rolling around in her vomit like a dog.
The pain ends, leaving only the twitching after-effects.
"Your mother is a stupid blood traitor, and your father's barely better than a muggle. But even they would have the sense to give you a proper name. What's your name?"
And she tries. She tries to hold back. But Bellatrix waves her wand again, and the top bone in her ring finger breaks.
"Nymphadora. Nymphadora Tonks"
"Good girl," Bellatrix says approvingly. "Very good girl"
And she pats Tonks on the head.
"But that isn't your name. Not anymore. Your name is now. Hmmm. Capella. Capella Black. Let me hear you say it"
"You're fucking crazy. You're beyond crazy. My name is-"
Every single bone, in every finger of her left hand breaks. They snap as one, the pain something comparable to the Cruciatus. But it isn't over. The bones in her palm are next. And once they're all broken, Bellatrix stomps her foot on Tonks' ruined hand.
"Let's get some rules straight. You are nothing. You are less than an animal. And that is all your parents' fault. But I am going to change that. I'm going to rebuild you into something. Into a witch who is worthy of the name Black. And we have months and months to play. Now. Say your name"
'Don't do it. If you give in, she'll win. Don't!'
She stays silent.
"Say it, and we'll stop for today. Say it, and I'll heal your hand"
She can't hold back. Not against that.
"Capella Black," She says, tears covering her face.
Bellatrix squeals and claps her hands.
"See! I knew you could do it!"
"You-you said you'd heal me"
"We're almost done, Capella. And then I'll heal you, sweetie. Now, that bucket there is for the toilet. If I find shit anywhere else in this room I'll make you eat it. Ok?"
Tonks looks at the metal bucket. It seems to be about as far away as the chain will allow her to go.
Something cuts along her leg. She feels the blood start dripping out.
"I said, ok?"
"Ok," she replies, barely able to speak over the pain in her hand. It seems to be growing, every second.
"This" Bellatrix says, waving her wand and producing a thin blanket, "is for you. If you're good, you'll get a pillow. If you're very good, you'll get clothes. But first, you need to prove that you're a person. Animals don't wear clothes. Only people do. Right?"
She nods her head, gritting her teeth.
"And one more thing. Just one, eentsy little thing"
Suddenly she's paralyzed, her body stiff as a board. Bellatrix steps forward, pulling out a knife.
"When you've proven yourself, I'll heal this"
She drags the knife across Tonks, carving words into her.
Cutting across her chest, starting at her left tit. Bellatrix moves, humming to herself as she works, and Tonks isn't even able to scream.
Bella steps back, admiring her work. She nods, satisfies. She waves her wand again, and Tonks feels the bones in her hand Vanishing.
Bella withdraws a vial from her pocket and empties it into Tonks' open mouth.
"When I remove the body-bind. You're going to swallow. It will heal your hand. If you spit it out, I'll start on your other hand. And I won't leave here tonight until I've done your feet as well"
The paralysis ends. Tonks manages, somehow, to keep the coughing scream from leaving her throat. She swallows, the oily taste making her want to vomit again.
She looks down at her chest, at the bloody letters carved in there.
"What does it say?" She whispers.
Bellatrix smiles. "Property of Bellatrix Lestrange. Sleep well"
And with a cackle, Bellatrix leaves the room, the light vanishing along with her.
It seems that it takes Tonks forever to fall asleep. She lies there in the pitch black, thinking of Remus. Rubbing her hand across her belly. Wondering what Bellatrix would do if she realized that her captive is pregnant.
Finally, exhausted, in agonizing pain, and terrified, she falls asleep.
She wakes up to bright light and loud noises, seemingly minutes later. At first, she thinks Bellatrix has returned.
It takes her a few minutes to realize that she hasn't. That the lights blaring in the room and the klaxons sounding are automatic.
A few minutes later, they turn off.
But her heart is still pumping. Adrenalin is still flowing through her veins.
She falls on her ass and clutches her arms around her knees.
And cries herself to sleep.
And wakes up, seemingly minutes later, to bright lights and loud noises.
'I'm going to go mad. She's gonna keep this up until I'm totally broken'
She grits her teeth together and strengthens her resolve.
Bellatrix will not get the better of her.
By the time she wakes up to Bellatrix's voice, she's barely slept. The lights and noises woke her up at least four times the previous night. Night? Day? Who knows what it is. She doesn't. She doesn't know what time it is, what date it is.
She runs her belly, trying to figure out how far along she is. She was nine weeks when she fought at Hogwarts. Has it been a week yet?
Bellatrix asks for her name. And with the stubbornness of a badger digging its heels in, she refuses to answer.
Refuses to answer after the Cruciatus is removed.
Refuses to answer after her ribs are broken.
Refuses to answer, until the needle is barely an inch away from her eyeball.
Then she screams it out, begging for Bellatrix to stop, unable to watch the needle drawing closer and closer anymore.
Before she leaves, Bellatrix heals her ribs.
And conjures a mirror.
She looks. She sees the words carved into her skin.
Property of Bellatrix Lestrange. That's all she is, now. Bellatrix's toy.
'No. I won't give in'
The next day, Bellatrix doesn't come. She spends the entire time dozing off and waking up minutes later.
She rubs her belly and thinks of her baby.
She runs her hands across the cuts in her chest and thinks about what Bellatrix is trying to turn her into.
Property of Bellatrix Lestrange.
She's so fucking thirsty. Her tongue feels like sandpaper, and the little piss she manages to pass is a yellow so dark that it's almost brown.
She's not thirsty enough to drink it though. Almost, but not quite.
Every time the lights and noise wake her, she's sure that Bellatrix will be there.
She isn't, even though Tonks is certain she sees her.
But Bellatrix is here now, an insane smile lighting up her face. There's a tray hovering in front of her, with a goblet full of water and a plate.
There's toast on the plate. She can smell it, smell the marmalade wafting off of it. It fills the room, blocks out the smells coming from her bucket.
Her stomach rumbles. God, how long has it been since she ate?
Bellatrix's smile grows wider.
"Hello. You sound hungry"
She doesn't answer. She already hates herself for giving into Bellatrix last time the bitch came. She doesn't want to add to that. But god, that food smells so good. And that water, it looks like heaven, like it would just go perfect against her parched lips.
She looks away, ashamed of herself.
"You want some food? You can have it. All of it. More if you want, afterward. Just one little, teensy thing for you to do. Say your name. That's all. What's your name?"
She almost does it, without even thinking. She wouldn't have given the atrocity that Bellatrix wants to hear, but she almost, almost says Nymphadora Tonks.
She bites her tongue, trapping the words inside.
"Not hungry? That's fine. I'll just leave this here. I'll come back later. When you're ready to talk"
Bellatrix leaves, lowering the plate to the floor before she exits.
Of course, Tonks tries to get it. And of course, strain as she might, it's just out of reach.
She huddles back against the wall, pulling her blanket around her naked form. This is-this is hell. And she's going to break. She knows it. She was never a Gryffindor, brave to the point of stupidity. If she was, she'd be able to fight until she dies. She wasn't a Ravenclaw or a Slytherin either, able to put logic or cunning plans above emotions. If she was, she'd be able to just give in to all of Bellatrix's perverse demands.
She was a Hufflepuff. Loyal. She won't betray her loyalties easily. But she's weak. She's tired and starving, and her hand and chest are each still screaming in pain.
She'll break. She knows it. She just hopes she'll die first.
When Bellatrix comes back, later, she's feeling strong again. She's had time to think. Had time to remember all the lessons she had in the academy, the lessons about staying strong under enemy pressure. She's strong. She'll win. She won't give in.
"So? What's your name?"
She looks Bellatrix dead in the eye, carefully keeping her gaze away from the tray at her feet.
"Go fuck yourself. You lunatic, psycho, inbred-"
She doesn't finish the insult before she's thrown backward, smashing hard against the stone wall. She hangs there in mid-air as Bellatrix advances, twirling her wand between her fingers.
"I think we need to have another lesson," Bellatrix says gleefully.
And Tonks feels the burning pain.
She looks down, and can't accept what she's seeing at first.
Her chest. Just above her left tit, just above the words that Bellatrix carved into her.
It's bubbling. Bubbling up.
She begins to gibber as the pain registers. It's like there's a fire underneath her skin. And it's burning, hotter than anything she's ever experienced.
It cuts off suddenly, the pain no longer getting worse, and she screams as Bellatrix jabs the burnt skin with her wand.
Bellatrix pulls back her wand and slashes it, and Tonks is screaming under the Cruciatus once again.
After a lifetime, the pain begins to dwindle. The Cruciatus is over, but her chest is roaring.
"Now. What. Is. Your. Name?"
Bellatrix punctuates each word with a flash of her wand, and each slash opens up a cut on Tonks' face.
They're not too deep. She can feel that much. But they're stinging.
Her instincts scream at her to give in, to give Bellatrix what she wants.
Somehow, she manages not to.
Bellatrix snarls as she waves her wand. And a line of fine white crystals appear.
Bellatrix's wand jabs forward, and the salt embeds itself harshly into her cuts.
And she screams. Oh, how she screams. She screams until she's sure her throat is going to burst.
But it doesn't.
"Say your name"
She screams it out along with her agony, hating herself for being so weak.
Bellatrix smiles, and with a wave of her wand, the pain from Tonk's face vanishes.
"There you go! Now you can eat! Eat, drink!"
She eats like an animal, gulping the food down. She doesn't care about dignity anymore, all the careful rules about manners her mother instilled in her have fallen away.
Why should she care about dignity? Bellatrix is reducing her to something far, far less than human.
Property of Bellatrix Lestrange. That's what she's being made into. Nothing more than Bellatrix's property, to do with as she wishes.
She drinks deeply, the water spilling over her mouth, dripping down her chin.
She feels the droplets making their way down her breasts, and she remembers how Remus once licked the sweat off of her.
She doesn't cry. She feels certain that she can't cry anymore, that she has no more tears left.
But Bellatrix watches her eat with a satisfied smirk. And she speaks softly.
"Do you feel any different? A little bit...floaty, perhaps?"
It's then that she realizes that yes, she does. She feels detached like her head is a balloon and her body is the string.
"That's because of the Veritaserum in the water. Now. You're going to tell me everything about your Order. And about your werewolf"
She speaks. She spills every secret, everything she knows. Bellatrix is relentless in her questions, and Tonks answers them all in full.
It's while she's answering one of the questions about Remus that she volunteers the information. That she's pregnant with his baby.
Bellatrix changes, turning from a smiling woman into a screaming harpy instantly.
"YOU'RE CARRYING HIS MONSTER?"
She flinched back, the shout cutting through the Veritaserum haze.
"YOU DARE DRAG OUR BLOOD DOWN SO FAR?"
And Bellatrix advances on her, wand out.
She cringes, scrabbling back in the room. But her prison is small, and within a few seconds, her back is to the wall.
"NO! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!"
Bellatrix' wand flashes and she's smashed down, her legs pushing apart against her will.
Bellatrix kneels before her, a sick parody of a worshipper at an altar.
"You'll thank me for this" she snarls.
And she sticks her wand into Tonks.
Tonks screams. This is nothing like sex, nothing. The length of wood is pressing into her implacably, digging its way into her most private parts, violating her.
And Bellatrix jabs the wand even further.
She feels it when her baby dies. It's like something inside her is screaming. She adds her voice to the chorus.
Bellatrix withdraws her wand and shakes the grime off of it.
And a thick flow of dark blood makes its way out of her.
Bellatrix stands up, cackling. "You'll thank me. I swear you'll thank me"
Tonks can't speak. She just stares, as her baby floods out of her.
Bellatrix stops at the door. "By the way. There was no Veritaserum. It was all the placebo effect"
Cackling loudly, Bellatrix leaves, taking the light with her.
And Tonks discovers that she still has tears.
Never before has she truly, honestly, wished that she was dead. She does so now. She prays to a god she no longer believes in to let her die, to let Bellatrix kill her, to let her escape this hell.
She hopes that she dies before she can truly see herself as Bellatrix's property.
When she wakes up that night, Remus is there.
She doesn't believe it, at first. She just stares, rubbing her eyes. Trying to ignore the stickiness on her upper legs.
But he's there. Standing there.
Looking at her with disgust.
She ignores that, just happy to see him.
"Remus?" She asks, voice weak with delirious hope. "Is-is it really you?"
He takes a step forward.
"You're-you're here to rescue me?"
He kicks out, his foot connecting with her face.
She hears the crack as her nose breaks. Feels the heat as pain begins to radiate from it.
She doesn't cry out. She's no stranger to pain. Not anymore.
Finally, he speaks. But she wishes she couldn't hear what he was saying.
"You disgust me. I always knew you were a worthless slut. But I didn't know you were so weak. You're so, so weak"
He walks out of the room, leaving her in a daze.
When she next wakes up, she's sure it was a dream. But there's dried blood all over her face, and her nose is still broken.
'It can't have been him. Remus loves me. It must have been someone pretending. Using polyjuice'
When Bellatrix comes in, she doesn't talk. Doesn't ask any questions. She just tortures her for hours. Hours or minutes, it doesn't make any difference. By the end of it, she's bleeding, both of her legs are broken, and her head is ringing.
And Bellatrix leaves, not saying a word other than to cast a few minor healing spells.
'I'm not her property. I can't let her convince me of that'
It goes on. Bellatrix comes in every day, sometimes bringing food and water, sometimes not. She doesn't talk. Only casts spell after spell, throws punch after punch. She pushes needles into Tonks' skin, rubs salt and vinegar into the wounds. And she ignores every single one of Tonks screamed questions.
Sometimes, she gives her animal food. She brings a trough full of hay one day. Another day it is a dog bowl full of water, that Tonks has to lap up.
She doesn't speak. She only laughs and incants.
One day, she doesn't come alone. She comes in surrounded by Tonks' friends, all members of the Order.
There's Kingsley, and Mad-Eye, and Sirius, and Remus, and Hestia, and Dedalus, and Elphias. And they all point and laugh, as Bellatrix keeps her under the Cruciatus until she pisses herself.
Afterward, she's not sure if that really happened or not. She knows that Sirius and Mad-Eye are dead. But it felt so real. As real as the pain. That's the only thing she knows for sure is real.
Remus comes to visit her often, at nights. Most nights he just stares at her in disgust. Sometimes he kicks her. Once he Crucio's her.
Sometimes he hugs her close to him and tells her how much he loves her. How he wishes he could just take her away from this horrible place.
After a while, she's not sure which type of visit is worse.
For the first time in what seems like years, Bellatrix starts her visit, not with a Crucio, but with a question.
"What's your name?"
Once, Tonks would have fought.
That was before she was Property of Bellatrix Lestrange. Before she was an animal.
Now, she's broken.
"Good. Very good. Keep it up, and I'll let you have a pillow. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Tonks nods, eyes unfocused.
"Ok. Let's talk about your parents. What do you have to say about your father?"
Something inside her rebels. A bit of strength she didn't know she still had.
She says nothing, just stares down at the floor.
"Come on, Capella. Don't be shy. Tell me what you think about your father"
She knows what Bellatrix wants to hear. But she can't do it.
"Do you want to know what I think about him?"
No. She doesn't want this creature to talk about the best man she's ever known.
"He's a dirty, filthy, disgusting abomination. Barely anything more than a muggle. And he spreads his inferiority. Look at you! You're disgusting. So weak. That's why I have to do this to you. Not because of anything you did. But because of your parents' sins. It's their fault that you're inferior. And I'm going to make you all better"
She wishes she was strong enough to argue. Wishes she still had the energy she once had. But fuck, she's just so tired all the time.
She managed to shake her head.
Bellatrix either ignores it or doesn't notice.
"I've already started fixing you. I'm training you. When you've got a pet, you have to train it. And until you prove better, you're just a pet. You've got a proper name now. Isn't that nice?"
"I had a name"
"Oh. You had nothing. A muggle last name, and a nonsense first name? No. Now you bear the name of a star and of one of the oldest magical families. You should be grateful"
Bellatrix giggles, as she strokes Tonks' face.
"Now. Mudbloods are always inferior. But if they recognize their place, if they acknowledge the inherent idiocy of the muggle world, they can rise. Some of them, however, seek to drag us all down. Those like your animal of a father"
"He's a good man"
The Cruciatus overpowers her.
Panting, Bellatrix ends the curse.
"He would make a good enough muggle, I'll grant you that. But he is nothing less than an embarrassment to wizardkind. And do you know how you're going to fix that?"
She shakes her head. Not in answer to the question, but in pure denial. Denial of this entire situation.
"You're going to kill him. And it will be wonderful"
Her mouth falls open. For the first time since she woke up in this prison, she laughs.
"You think it's funny? I promise you, Capella. You'll beg to kill him. If only because it will make your agony end"
Laughing, Bellatrix leaves the room.
It takes a while for what she was told to sink in. But she finally comes to realize, that as much as she hates the idea, it's possible.
She remembers how adamant she had been at first, that she wouldn't use Bellatrix's name for herself. And how easily the torture had made her give in.
She remembers how terrible it had been when Bellatrix had killed her baby. And she realizes that she barely even thinks about it anymore.
And she realizes, with growing horror that makes her shake, that she's starting to come to view herself as Bellatrix' property.
And she realizes something else, too.
There is a way for her to escape.
She stands up, facing the wall.
She takes a deep breath in, tears of joy running down her face.
She smashes her head into the stone as hard as she can.
Her head explodes in pain, but it's nowhere near a hundredth, a thousandth of what Bellatrix has put her through. She holds her hands up against the wall, steadying herself.
She smashes her head again.
White dots appear in front of her eyes. She shakes off the dizziness, determined not to fall over.
Determined to finish the job.
She smashes her head one last time, and falls over, blackness claiming her.
When she wakes up, her head is still pounding. There's dried blood on her forehead. Hell, her whole body is covered in dried blood. She hasn't bathed or truly washed up since she first woke up here.
She stretches out a hand in the darkness and feels the wall.
It's soft. The wall is soft. She's still attached to it by her collar, but it's soft. Like it's been padded.
She realizes then, that the floor received the same treatment.
She screams, in frustrated rage.
When Bellatrix next comes in, she's not happy. She's fucking furious.
After a terrible hour(or minute, or day), Bellatrix walks outside. Leaving the door open.
For half a second, Tonks' heart rises. Perhaps now is a chance for her to get out.
But by the time she's finished that thought, Bellatrix is coming back. And she's dragging someone by the scruff of the neck.
She throws him down, and Tonks screams when she recognizes Remus.
"Look. Look, Capella"
Bellatrix beheads him. She beheads him and thrusts his head into Tonk's face.
Tonks doesn't stop screaming. She runs her hands down her face, scratching it up.
She keeps her eyes closed for a few minutes. When she opens them again, the body 'Remus' is gone.
"And you'll never know," Bellatrix says savagely. "Whether that was really your wolf or just someone under Polyjuice. You'll never know"
And she's left to her thoughts and her tears.
It's not long later when she gets woken up by the blinding lights and the bright noises. She manages to get to the bucket in time to puke.
And it's in the metal bucket that she sees her reflection.
She's careful not to look at her chest. She doesn't want to see the constant reminder of what she is.
She stares, entranced, at the furrows dream down her face. She remembers scratching it, but she didn't know her nails were so sharp.
She examines them, thinking about how they haven't been cut (other than when they were torn off, once or twice) since she woke up in this hell.
She scratches open her wrists and passes out as the blood flows out of her.
When she wakes up, her wrists are healed. She doesn't wonder how Bellatrix got there in time to save her. She doesn't feel any curiosity at all. She's too busy staring at her hands. At her fingers.
The top joint of each one has been nearly cut off.
And her mouth feels strange.
Sure enough, she runs her tongue along her gums and confirms it.
Her teeth are gone. Every single one.
'I am never going to escape from here. Not unless she kills me, or I give in to her totally'
She hopes that Bellatrix kills her. She doesn't know how much longer she can stand this.
She doesn't have teeth. She doesn't have teeth. She doesn't have teeth, and her fingers are shorter than they should be. She doesn't know what she is, anymore. She's finding it harder and harder to remember her life, as Nymphadora Tonks.
She wishes her mother hadn't done something so unforgivable as to fall in love with a mudblood.
She wishes she was really Capella Black.
She wishes she wasn't Property of Bellatrix Lestrange.
She rubs her gums with her short, stubby fingers, and wishes she still had teeth.
When Bellatrix next comes, she's angrier than Tonks has seen her before. And she shows it. After hours and hours, she's put Tonks through more pain than all the other days up until then.
And afterward, as Tonks lies on the floor, a bleeding, broken mess, covered in her own piss and bloody vomit, Bellatrix does something completely unexpected.
She shoots a high powered water spell all over Tonks. She adds some soap too. By the time Bellatrix finishes up, Tonks feels cleaner than she has in (months? years?) since she woke up here.
And Bellatrix smiles at her.
"I have tried to treat you well. But perhaps there's something I haven't given you. Perhaps, a woman's touch is not what you need. Perhaps, you need a man to help you"
As the words enter Tonks' mind, Bellatrix clicks her fingers, and a man walks in.
She can tell straight away. Whether it's from the way he holds himself, so similar to how Remus 'worthless slut'does 'did. He's dead, remember?'. Or maybe it's something in his eyes. Either way, she can tell immediately that this man is a werewolf.
"You like wolves, don't you? Well, Sharptooth here will help you out"
Cackling, Bellatrix leaves the room. This time, the light doesn't vanish when she goes.
And Sharptooth advances on her.
She tries to pretend he's Remus, at first. Tried to pretend that she's enjoying it, that this is something she wanted.
Remus never flipped her over, snarling about how he was going to sodomize her first, how her pussy's just too stretched for him. Remus never scratched her until she bled. Remus never bit her, tearing strips of skin off with his teeth.
Remus never called her a dirty slut 'didn't he?' while strangling her, stopping only just before she would pass out.
Remus never hurt her.
'Yes, he did. He fucking did, he hurt me so much since I became Bellatrix's property'
Afterward, she lies, huddled into a ball, crying and moaning. Not daring to even touch her bloody holes. Not even to wipe his dripping goo out of herself.
'At least if I'm pregnant, I know Bellatrix will help me out. She wouldn't want her property getting ruined by a monster'
She laughs and immediately vomits.
Sharptooth starts coming in every day, after every session with Bellatrix. He never gets any gentler. If anything, he gets worse. And near the end of every session, Bellatrix smiles and says encouragingly "tell me about what a dirty animal your father is, what a terrible traitor your mother is, and I'll stop him from coming"
But as much as her instincts scream at her to just give in, she can't do it. She sees her parents when she closes her eyes. Sees their smiling faces, how proud they were when she was accepted into the Auror Academy. She can't betray them like this. She's a Hufflepuff, for fuck's sake. Loyal unto death.
She hopes it'll come soon.
She rubs her belly, wishing it still held a baby.
She rubs her chest, wishing she wasn't Bellatrix's property.
She rubs her mouth, wishing that she still had teeth. That she could eat something that wasn't liquid.
One day(night?) Harry and his girlfriend visit. Coming to play, as Bellatrix puts it.
She barely speaks anymore, other than to answer Bellatrix's questions or to scream.
She hears Bellatrix telling them rules at the beginning. How they're only to refer to her as Capella. How they must be careful not to break her. Not to break her mind.
She hopes that they won't listen.
But she still tries to move away when they come close.
This isn't the Harry and Daphne she remembers. She doesn't remember the whites of their eyes having a reddish tinge. She doesn't remember their faces looking like wax that hadn't quite dried properly. Like their features were slightly blurred.
She wants to shout at them. How she thought they were her friends. But she can't.
So instead she just cries, and softly begs.
"Please. Please. Please. Please. Kill me. Kill me. Break me, kill me. Please. Please. I'll do anything, just kill me. Please"
They laugh, cruel and high pitched.
And they put Bellatrix to shame. It's not so much the pain they inflict. When it comes to pain, they're nowhere near Bellatrix's level of mastery. But it's the realization that shocks her in the middle when she sees them kissing passionately.
It's the realization that this is turning them on.
That they're only doing this for their sick, sick enjoyment.
Bellatrix at least has a goal, perverse as it is. They just enjoy causing her pain.
She realizes that she's happy that she's Bellatrix's property instead of theirs.
And Tonks breaks down, crying and moaning.
It gets harder, after that. Every day, Bellatrix comes and spends hours torturing her. Exhorting her, pleading with her. Telling her that if she simply allows herself to truly become Capella, she wouldn't be in such pain. That this agony wouldn't be necessary. That this is only to help her, to burn away the toxicity implanted in her by her mudblood father and blood-traitor mother. That it's all their fault, really.
She tries not to hate them, but it's getting harder and harder every day. What's worse, is that Bellatrix isn't lying. She still loves her parents, the pain hasn't eroded that. But she knows if she was anyone else, Bellatrix wouldn't be spending so much time on her. If she wasn't born of the unholy union of a mudblood and a Black, she would have died ages ago. Bellatrix doesn't have any other pets. Only her. And it's her parents' fault. She knows this to be true. It's their fault that she's Bellatrix's property. She knows it their fault that she doesn't have teeth.
She tells herself that her parents made the right decision. That they acted out of love when they eloped. That Bellatrix is an evil, heartless bitch.
But every day, her protests get weaker.
Her days are full of the worst products of Bellatrix's twisted mind.
And most nights, Sharptooth comes.
When he comes, it's terrible. But when he doesn't, in a way it's even worse.
Before he started visiting her, she would be asleep whenever she could be. Whenever Bellatrix wasn't playing with her, whenever there were no lights or noises. Her exhausted mind would plunge into sleep instantly.
Now? She lies awake, shivering. Every sound echoing in her ears like his footfalls. Sure that he's going to come in, any minute.
But he doesn't.
And one night, he doesn't come alone. No. He comes with two friends. Werewolves, both of them.
She doesn't know the date, doesn't know what phase of the moon they're currently in. But from the way the three werewolves act, it's close to full moon. And even though she doesn't have teeth or fingernails, they do. And they aren't shy about using them. Why should they be? Bellatrix lets them do what they want to her property, as long as she's not dead or broken at the end.
By the time they leave her, she's absolutely covered in bite marks. Covered.
Her skin is coated in thick scratches.
The cuts marking her as Bellatrix's still stand out.
Some of the scratches itch, and she has no teeth or nails to scratch that itch.
Once, she would have wondered if she was a werewolf now. If their bites in human form would be enough to turn her.
Not anymore. She no longer feels something as innocent as curiosity.
Something in her mind clicks.
There's no fanfare when it happens. No large announcement, nothing changing in her physical appearance. But the voice, the one that has been speaking in her mind, telling her to be strong, telling her that her name is Nymphadora Tonks.
The voice falls silent.
She doesn't want to be Nymphadora Tonks anymore. The time when Nymphadora Tonks enjoyed her life is so far gone, so blocked out in the (Days? Months? Years?) of pain, that it's like it never happened.
She doesn't want to be Nymphadora Tonks anymore. She doesn't want to be an animal anymore. She doesn't want to be Property of Bellatrix Lestrange anymore.
She wants to sleep without being woken up. She wants to eat and drink what she likes. She wants to have teeth and full fingers again.
Dimly, she remembers wearing clothes and sleeping in a real bed. She wants to know what that feels like.
She doesn't really remember when Nymphadora Tonks wasn't Property of Bellatrix Lestrange. It's like it never happened.
Her life as Nymphadora Tonks has been one of utter agony. And she wants to escape it. And there's only one way to do so.
When Bellatrix next walks in, she's crying and begging before even a single question is asked. Before Bellatrix even raises her wand, she's prostrating on the floor, pleading.
"Please! I'm Capella Black! Please, don't hurt me! I'll do anything! I'm not Tonks anymore!"
And she isn't.
Bellatrix smiles, looking almost sane.
"How can I be sure of that?"
It's working! Bellatrix is listening! She isn't making her scream!
"I-I-Please! I'll do anything!"
Bellatrix looks down at her, tapping her wand against her wrist.
"You know what I want. I told you a while ago. There's one thing you can do that will prove to me that you've truly accepted who you are. I told you. You'll have to beg for it"
She realizes what Bellatrix, her savior, her greatest enemy, wants from her.
"Please," she asks and her voice doesn't tremble, "Please, please let me kill the mudblood. Please, I want to, I want to rid the world of his presence, he doesn't deserve to live. Please"
She looks up, eyes eager.
Bellatrix shakes with mirth, a beatific smile on her face.
"Which mudblood would that be? Of course, they all deserve to die, but you're talking about a specific one. Aren't you, Capella?"
She nods quickly.
"The-the mudblood who-who dared to bring down our family so far. Who gave me his tainted blood. Who made me an animal. Who seduced my mother and stole her away from her family"
"Who is that mudblood, Capella?"
"My-my father. T-Ted Tonks"
Bellatrix jumps up onto her tiptoes, clapping frantically and laughing.
"Oh, of course! Of course. But, Capella dear. I can't let you out of here until you've killed him. But maybe I can make things more comfortable for you"
Capella nods her head, as happy as she's ever been. Things are going to be better for her!
"What do you want, Capella?"
"I-I-" she rubs her gums. "I'd like my teeth back. And food that isn't liquid"
Bellatrix nods graciously.
"And what about your fingertips?"
"I-I-I'd like them too if it's not too much to ask for"
She looks down, terrified that her overeagerness has just lost her everything. Knowing that Bellatrix is going to hurt her for her presumption.
A soft hand strokes her cheek, and she manages to keep from screaming.
"Capella, dear. You're a human now. You can have your fingertips back. And even clothes, if you want"
She can't believe it. The words don't make sense, at first.
"I-I-I'm a human now? I-I'm not an animal anymore?"
Bella hugs her close, and Capella cries. For the first time in what could be months or years, she's crying tears of joy.
"I-I can have clothes?"
"You can have clothes. And I'll even take the writing off of you, now that you're a person"
Bellatrix is the greatest person ever. She's a saint.
"Th-thank you. Thank you so much. For-for everything"
She's crying again. She doesn't deserve such good treatment. Part of her refuses to believe that it's true, thinks that it's just another cruel trick.
Even that part comes to believe it when she isn't woken up that entire night by bright lights and loud noises. Even that part comes to believe it, when she wakes up on a bed, wearing clothes, clean. She finds teeth in her mouth, and her fingers are complete again.
There's no more writing carved into her chest.
She's still chained to the wall, but there's cushioning on the inside of her collar now.
And she doesn't mind. It makes sense, really. Tonks needed to be chained to the wall, and Capella doesn't. But until she's proven that she's Capella completely, she knows that Bellatrix still has to suspect that she's Tonks and that she's just lying.
She isn't Tonks. Not anymore. Life has been good since she's been Capella. Bellatrix comes to talk to her every day, but she makes her laugh and smile. She doesn't make her scream and cry.
Bellatrix talks to her so sweetly, so lovingly that it almost makes her cry.
And even though she can't get her metamorphmagus abilities to work, Bellatrix understands. She isn't punished for failing. Bellatrix speaks to her warmly, comforting her, saying how proud she is that Capella is trying so hard, and even though she can't change her appearance right now, they'll get it to work.
Bellatrix comforts her. Like she's a real person. Like she isn't just property.
She has teeth, now. She has all the food and drinks that she wants. A house-elf comes to bathe her every day.
She sleeps on a bed.
And she has teeth, like a real person.
And Sharptooth hasn't come to visit, nor have any of his friends.
And she doesn't spend her days screaming and crying. She laughs. A lot. Bellatrix makes her laugh, instead of making her scream.
She's a real person, instead of an animal. She has teeth. She can eat real food, instead of liquid slop.
She's a real person, and Capella has never been happier.
He's kneeling before her. Just one more thing and everyone will know that she's really Capella. And no one will think she's Tonks. No one will lock her up in the dark, or take away her teeth.
She runs her tongue over them, confirming that they're still there. She looks down, checking that she's still wearing clothes. That she's still a person, not an animal.
He's staring at her, and he's crying and begging. But he's not talking to her. He's talking to someone named Dora. He's begging Nymphadora not to do this.
She looks around. There's no one else there except Bellatrix.
His voice. Begging Dora not to listen to Bellatrix. But she isn't Dora. She's Capella.
And how can she not listen to Bellatrix?
She starts shaking, just imagining it. She's not an animal anymore. She never wants to be an animal again. She loves Bellatrix, but she hopes that she never has to be Property of Bellatrix Lestrange again.
She has teeth. She can't be Nymphadora. Not if she has teeth and clothes and fingertips. Not if Bellatrix says that she's a person.
She lifts the knife.
And slits her father's throat.
And when Bellatrix hugs her, laughing and squealing with joy, she smiles widely.
And when Bellatrix unlocks her collar, she cries with appreciation, hugs her, and swears to never let her down.
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