Lucy reached forward and brushed sweat-damp dark brown hair from a tall pale face, her chocolate brown eyes scanning over his features concerned. She turned to the bowl of ice water that Dennise had brought in not long ago and dipped a cloth into it before wringing it out and carefully brushing it over his face.
He groaned slightly and mumbled something in what she thought was Croatian before falling still again. Too still.
Garcia Flynn was one of the strongest people that she knew. He had survived the death of his family, survived the thought that there was nothing he could do about it. Rightly or wrongly he had been strong enough to steal a bloody time machine and jump through history to change it to bring down Rittenhouse and try and save his wife and daughter. He had been strong enough to work with people he detested like the Nazis and commit acts she now knew he hated himself for, like killing Lincoln. He had been strong enough to survive prison. He had been strong enough to survive their suspicion and the comments that came at him to make himself a space on the team, all the while doing everything that he could to help them.
He had been strong enough to realise his way had not been working and to change his mind, change his actions.
He had been strong enough to change his mind back there in that room when he could have blown the building up with the majority of Rittenhouse in it. He had been strong enough to trust her and change his plans.
He was strong for her when she needed, whenever she faltered, whenever she stumbled he was there for her, keeping her going.
He wasn't supposed to be this weak.
She wanted to find Emma and rip her to pieces. She wanted to destroy her. The anger and violence she felt scared her slightly, but looking at Flynn's too pale face, and too still form….
Emma had been aiming for her, her vendetta against Lucy still in full swing, she had thrown the knife with accuracy where if it had hit it would have done through Lucy's heart. Flynn had stepped in the way of it, facing Lucy so she could hear and see the impact of the knife burying itself into Flynn's back, so she could see the blood blooming over the white of his shirt.
He had dropped forward into her arms and she had desperately tried to keep him up as Rufus raced towards them and Wyatt raced after Emma.
The rest had been a blur, the three of them getting Flynn into the Lifeboat, Wyatt and Rufus grumbling about him being a giant and making things more difficult for them, but it was hiding their worry he knew. Wyatt and her and wrestled his limp form into the seat and his harness, Wyatt arranging him so the knife was un-jostled, insisting that they shouldn't take it out.
She couldn't even remember the jump or the three of them getting him out of the Lifeboat, Jiya, Dennise and Connor helping them get him down the stairs and to their makeshift med bay.
She remembered refusing to leave him, snapping when Wyatt had tried to pull her away while the Doctor Dennise got there in record time worked on him. Jiya had brought her a change of clothes but she had ignored them while she helped the Doctor as much as she could.
Finally, the Doctor had stepped back, Flynn stitched up and full of tubes. He had promised Flynn would wake soon, that he just had blood loss. And then Flynn had caught an infection. It had swept through his system, burning him up and making him so pale, pale like he was…
It had been five days, five days where she had barely left his side, five days where she had not been able to bring herself to leave him. She slept on the cot Rufus had brought in for her, close to his bed so she could hear his strained breathing.
Five days where she had had plenty of time to think. Think about Flynn and how their relationship had changed, think about how she felt about them.
They had been hovering on the edge of something for a long time. There had always been a pull between them, she couldn't deny that now. But when they had started working together properly, when she had stopped looking at Wyatt like the hero in her story, when they had gotten to know each other properly, it had just flared to life.
But she had been scared of taking that last step, scared of risking herself again, she had cared for Wyatt, and it could have become love when everything had happened and she had been left wounded and hurting. She was already halfway in love with Flynn, and she was terrified.
It was the same situation with Wyatt. Jessica came back and he went back to her, left Lucy behind. What if they managed to bring Flynn's family back, what if they came back from a trip and they found out his wife and daughter were back. He said that he would not go back to them, would not expose them to the man that he had had to become, but what if, what if seeing them brought all those feelings back and she was left behind again?
She didn't think she would survive Flynn leaving her the way she had Wyatt. And so she had held back, she had stopped herself from taking that last step, from giving into the longing looks that he gave her, the warm touches that he gifted her with that showed exactly how he felt.
And now she could lose him anyway, and she might never get to tell him what he meant to her, she could lose him without him knowing she cared, that she loved him.
Taking a breath she dipped the cloth into the water again and wrung it out before repeating her gentle ministrations.
"Lucy…" He muttered in his fever sleep.
"I'm here, you're ok, I'm here,"
"Shhhh rest, I'm here, it's ok," Lucy gently brushed the cloth over his forehead, smiling as he muttered something else in Croatian.
She started humming a song she had heard him singing while on kitchen duty the day of their trip while she freshened up the cloth again, her mind drifting to the last few months and how their relationship had changed.